Why You Should Tell Girls: "You Shouldn't Date a Guy Like Me" (Throwback)

0:00 Kelly, I'm going to get you a box of crayons, a helmet, and I'm going to put you over there in that corner to play with yourself. Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to yet another episode of The UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. And today, we are going to talk about why you should tell women they shouldn't date you and how and why that builds attraction in the female mind.

0:40 God, this is so effective. And God, I got so many funny replies to whatever your situation is. When you come into my program, we build these out specifically for you. But I'm going to give you guys some generalities that hopefully you can apply to yourself, that hopefully you can use some of your own creativity to come up with better renditions of these so that you can use them on girls. And I'm telling you, seduction is a very, very, very counterintuitive thing. But when you understand how female psychology works, when you understand what it is that gets attraction exactly, then you're able to come up with this stuff on your own and you're able to free flow, as it were, as I was doing last night.

1:20 And I actually said that same thing to a girl about the helmet and the crayons. I don't remember where I heard it. I think I stole it from somebody, but I can't exactly remember. It might have been mystery method, to be honest with you. But I heard it somewhere, I'm pretty sure. Most of my stuff, I create myself. But that one, I think I heard somewhere. We need to get you a helmet and some crayons and put you in the corner so you can play by yourself, good shit.

1:43 And she laughed just like that. She's like, hee. And I was like, Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick. The shit that works on you girls. It's absolutely unbelievable. So gentlemen, you know what I got to do. Let me ask you to predict what I'm about to do. You're damn right, motherfucker. I'm about to read yet another glowing review of my three-month coaching program. So let's bust this out and then we'll jump into the content. This is from my boy, Thomas. Thomas, what is up? He says, Mark, thank you for answering your calling.

2:10 You are the manifestation of true spiritual healing and growth. Months after your program, I'm slowly coming to understand the real lessons you taught at the cellular level, at the soul level. The peaceful warrior is back, nay, being retrained and transcended because we are champs and sheep dogs, the creators of our universe. Jesus Christ, Thomas, you really went hard. And the pain on this one, he continues, your podcasts are fire and I would love to work with you again in the future when I'm making something of myself.

2:37 Signed, Thomas. You know, I don't really read these things very thoroughly before I read them on the podcast. And that was very interesting. Let's read that again. I'm slowly coming to understand the real lessons you taught at the cellular level, at the soul level. The peaceful warrior is back, nay, being retrained and transcended because we are champs and sheep dogs. Actually, Thompson, that sheep dog analogy I do like because sheep dog is the dog who protects the sheep from the wolves. And that's kind of like the peaceful warrior analogy.

3:06 I'm peaceful until you fuck with me. And if there's a wolf that comes to try to mess with my sheep, I'm tearing him a new asshole. And that's what a sheep dog is. So while that was a very deep, very multidimensional review, Thompson, I really do appreciate it. And gentlemen, if you want to come join us as well, anytime, man, we'll meet with you. See if we can bolt on a continuous stream of updating females into your life. We basically bolt on this system into your life so that we start getting females into your life, start getting dates, and you become the chooser rather than being chosen.

3:39 And what I want to do is make it so easy for you that you come into this. We make it very minimal as far as the amount of demands that we make on your time. And we bolt on this system onto your life so that girls just come in, you date them, you pick which one's your queen, and then you move on with your fucking life. And that's what we do in my three-month coaching program. If you'd like to talk to us about joining, fill in the quick application below.

4:00 You and I will email with each other a little bit to get to know each other to see if I'm a good fit for you. And then you'll get on a call with my boy, Victor Lynch, a fucking champion who's been through the program himself, was a zero with women and is now an absolute hero with women. He's also certified in NLP, and you're going to get an NLP experience where he's going to see if we're a good fit for you to reach your goals with women.

4:22 All right, gentlemen, let's jump into the content. So many times when it comes to women, we want to make jokes about why we wouldn't be good with them. In fact, oftentimes, if you simply say the following words, you know what, you really shouldn't date a guy like me, some reason they'll get more attracted to you. And the reason that is, is because a guy who tells a girl that he shouldn't date him has options. If a guy is thirsty and needy and he doesn't have options, would he ever say that?

4:49 Of course he wouldn't. Would he make fun of himself? Probably not. Would he say that he's a bad kisser, bad at sex, horrible at giving massages? When you sleep in bed with a guy, he's going to forget you're there and literally push you out of the bed. No, he wouldn't do stuff like that because he's needy. He's trying to get girls and he's low value, which is sub-communicated to her when he tries to sell himself to her. But what's also sub-communicated to women when you don't try to sell yourself to them is that you're high value.

5:19 You have tons of options. I say this to girls all the time. Among other things is you shouldn't date me because sleeping with me is like trying to sleep through an earthquake. Okay, I always sleep in my bed alone and I do this weird thing where I literally push girls out of bed. And this is a true story, boys. I have pushed 426.356 women out of my bed, which was the .356. She was a midget. So we're sleeping together and I fucking pushed them out of bed because I think it's a pillow and I'm like, God, get out of my way.

5:49 I can't move my arm. I want to sleep in the Vitruvian man position where my legs are spread and my arms are spread and I look like Wile E. Coyote who just got launched off of a cliff by the Roadrunner. So I tell girls all the time, you do not want to date me because sleeping with me is an absolute nightmare. In fact, boys, true story, and this is so fucking funny, Marissa and I don't sleep in the same bed. And the reason we don't sleep in the same bed is because it's gangster and it's the absolute way to make a relationship work.

6:16 She sleeps on the third floor. I sleep on the basement. That's the way to do it. I should fucking release a program about that because it's so effective where you don't smell her farts, where you don't see her taking a dump in the morning, where you don't have to look at her disgusting toothbrush and her tampons and all her bullshit. Have your own space. I cannot recommend it enough. But in the beginning when we were dating, we would sleep in the same bed and lo and behold, I would push her a lot of the times and she would have to be like, Mark, Mark, it's me.

6:43 And I'd be like, oh, sorry. So one night, true fucking story. One night I look over and I'm looking at her head and it's really dark and I'm like, what is that on my pillow? And I'm like, oh, it's a bucket of dates. I left a bucket of dates on my pillow. So I get up on my knees and I go to pick up what I thought was a bucket of dates, but it's her head. So she's like, oh, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, shit.

7:09 Sorry about that. She's like, dude, what were you doing? I was like, um, I thought your head was a bucket of dates. So I just was going to pick it up and like put it aside. And she's like, it's not a bucket of dates. It's my head. Okay. I'm in the bed with you. Please don't do this weird stuff anymore. And I was like, yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Go back to bed. So we go to sleep. A couple of weeks goes by and then I wake up again.

7:30 True fucking story. I wake up again and I look over there and I'm, I'm half asleep. So my mind's not really working right. And I look at her head on the pillow and I'm like, what, what the fuck is that? So I take my index finger and I poke at it because that's what you do when you see something on your pillow that you don't know what it is. So I fucking poke her in the eyeball, dude, right in the eyeball. And I just hear this, oh, what are you doing?

7:56 And I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what your head was. So, you know, I'm a human being. You just poke at shit. That's what we do. So, dude, I poke her in the eye and then this was the start of us having our own beds and that has worked so effectively. So my point is, brothers, when I'm speaking to women, I'll talk about this stuff. I'll make shit up about me, why they shouldn't date me. For example, do you know what you say when a girl asks you why you don't have a girlfriend?

8:23 If you've been listening to my podcast for any amount of time, you know you should tell them it's because I'm a bad kisser. I do the helicopter tongue maneuver, the jackhammer tongue maneuver. Hell, even sometimes I lick girls' faces like a dog. If we end up making out tonight, bring napkins because it's going to be sloppy. Now, surprisingly, this totally cracks them up. If a girl said this to us, we'd be disgusted. We'd be like, oh God. Or maybe if you like to be licked all over your face like a dog, maybe you'd be into that.

8:51 But I don't know about you. If a girl told me she's a horrible kisser or she gives some bad sick duck, switch the S and the D and you'll know what I'm talking about. I'd be out like sauerkraut, off like a prom dress. I'm not fucking with that. But when we do it to women, they like us more. A lot of you guys also know I often joke about the angry inch. It's an inch, but it's angry. And then I take my thumb and I poke her in the clavicle and on the shoulder with it.

9:15 And I'm like, watch out. The angry inch is going to get you. And when you say that you have an angry inch, it's very clear you don't have an angry inch. When you say you're horrible at kissing, it probably means you're good at kissing. When you say you're horrible at sex, you're a one dip skip, a two pump chump. You say to her, we have to be careful. There's no pillows around when we're about to have sex. Because if I take that thing out and it accidentally rubs on a pillow, I'm just going to come all over the place.

9:39 So we have to keep it airtight, make sure we don't look at it weird. And then I'll put it in once and then I'm going to come. So I hope that's good enough for you. I'll literally try to talk girls out of dating me. And then what happens? They want to date me more. And I learned this quite by accident because at one time I had so much abundance, I just started doing it. I'd just be like, how much can I fuck with this girl? How much can I tell her not to date me?

10:03 I'm a horrible date. I'm a horrible person. I go to jail twice a week. Do you have a lot of money? Because I need you to bail me out of jail. And you're going to get really familiar with the jail bondsman because they know me on a first name basis. And then she's sitting there laughing like the girl in the beginning of this episode. All right. So here's some things I want to apply to you guys generally. Now, if you get butthurt, if you hyperextend your butthole and or you have a vagina in your pants, click away right now.

10:31 Because I may offend some of you with these jokes that are coming up and what I'm going to do just so that you understand I'm making fun of myself just as much as I'm making fun of you guys. And yes, I'm going to talk about races and I'm going to talk about different aspects and prejudices of different races that we're going to leverage. I'm going to talk about my own race. Okay. So this one time I dated a black girl and she was really fucking fine.

10:55 But before I dated her, I approached her and she said, sorry, I don't deal with white guys. And I was like, that's probably the best move because a white guy, when you first hang out with him, he's probably going to give you a 20 minute speech about why you should invest in your 401k. And she started cracking up because what did I do? I made fun of myself. She said, I don't date this kind of guy. And then I said, yeah, you're smart to do that. And I gave her a reason as to why she shouldn't do it, which made her laugh.

11:22 So by giving her the reason, you shouldn't date a white guy because he's going to make you invest in your 401k. When you dance with him, it's going to be the most embarrassing thing ever. If you ever lose your hat on the roof and he has to jump up to try to get it, the guy can only jump like three inches, small dicks, horrible in bed, no rhythm, fucking sea bass is white guys, never date guys like that. And it cracked her up. I realized, okay, when I do the opposite of what she thinks I'm going to do, it builds more attraction.

11:50 So get this boys. It was a hard no. She's like, I don't date white boys. And then what happened? That's right, gentlemen. The next morning, you know what she said to me? True fucking story. She's like, I like that white chocolate. True fucking story, man. The funniest shit ever. And I just laughed and she laughed. It's because I wasn't trying to sell myself. You do the opposite. You try to sell yourself as to why they shouldn't date you. Now, quick caveat as I'm thinking about this.

12:17 Don't do this if the girl is like angry at you or she's totally not into you. You have to have a certain level of attraction. And I like to deploy this in the beginning when at least the conversation has stuck. But better yet, when she's attracted to me and trying to convince me to date her. If she says something like, we should really hang out sometime, I'd be like, oh, God, you don't want to hang out with a guy like me. Horrible kisser. Horrible in bed.

12:42 Your vagina's like in your armpit, right? Because I'm just going to lick in your armpit because that's how I think you should give cunnilingus. It's going to crack her up and make her more attracted to you. So white people, I gave jokes about them. I'm going to go a step further and make jokes about tall, skinny guys like myself. Whenever I have an objection about being skinny or whenever I feel like she thinks I'm skinny, I'm going to make fun of myself for it. So I'll occasionally say, you know why you shouldn't date a tall, skinny guy, right?

13:08 And she'll say why. And I'll be like, oh, because my dad actually was taking a shower and he slipped down the drain. He was so skinny like me, he just vanished and now he's gone. We don't know where my dad is. Called the plumber to come out, but apparently he already got sifted through the entire sewage system, can't find the dude. So now when I take a shower, I have to avoid that drain because being a tall, skinny guy like me, I could slip down any time.

13:31 Makes her laugh. She's cracking up and she knows that you're not insecure about those things you should quote unquote be insecure about. I make fun of my nose all the time because I kind of have a big nose. I say I love the fact that I can wake up and smell the tea of my next door neighbor. When I go camping at night, all I have to do is bring a blanket because I just lay it over my face and it creates a tent for me.

13:53 One summer, I found a bunch of bats living up in this gigantic nose and it was really advantageous because I didn't know at the time, but they actually kill mosquitoes. So I can go into the wilderness, they fly out of my gigantic nose and kill all the mosquitoes and come back in. It was very convenient. And literally, boys, I just pulled that one out of my ass. You want to make fun of those things that you're insecure about. All right. Now, here we go, boys. We're going into race.

14:15 Let me think. What's the most secure race? I think Mexicans are pretty secure. Wouldn't you agree? And by the way, I'm part Mexican, so I'm allowed to make these jokes. So when a girl is really into you or when you're talking to a girl, you should say, you know why you shouldn't date Mexicans, right? And she'd be like, why not? Because he's going to look at you and be like, hey, chica, looking good. Hey, why don't you come out with me on my lowrider bicycle? We'll go get some burritos together, chica.

14:43 You're so fine, right? You want to make fun of yourself for being Mexican. And I tell my Mexican clients in my coaching program to do that all the time. Indian clients, you got to make fun of that shit. You say, you know why you shouldn't date an Indian guy, right? And she's like, why? You'd be like, because he's always going to try to fix your computer. Give me 12 hours and pay me $2 and I'll figure out why Google isn't opening on your browser. And when doing that, you have a smile on your face, showing her you don't care and you can make fun of yourself.

15:13 Short guys, you got to tell women they shouldn't date you because when they go to the supermarket with you, they have to tie a balloon to you so that the balloon is floating above all the produce so they can see where you're moving around to, right? It's a hassle to date a short guy because you constantly got to tie balloons through the dude just to keep track of them. Guys who are bald, I get a ton of bald clients and we have tons of jokes. Some of them are, I'm a hair model, but it's my week off.

15:37 I'm a before picture for a Rogaine commercial. I play the part of Mr. Clean on infomercials on the weekends. You should really look out for me. You know why you shouldn't date a bald guy, right? It's because like when you're making out with him and you're trying to run your fingers through his hair, there's nothing there. It's going to gross you out and then you're going to slip off of him because you're trying to get a grip on anything, but there's nothing there. It's so bald.

15:58 It's so aerodynamic. You're just going to slip and fall on the floor. Asian guys. I always tell my Asian clients, you need to come up with something funny such as you shouldn't date an Asian guy because he's always going to try to do your math homework. You shouldn't date an Asian guy because he can't drive and you're probably going to get killed if you go on a date with him. They're such bad drivers. Whatever the prejudice is, you need to leverage that shit, talk about it, make fun of it, make it into a joke.

16:23 So whatever you have about you, whether you're tall, skinny, fat, short, a midget with a peg leg, don't have hair, have weird hair, whatever it is, you need to take a long look in the mirror and figure out how you can do self-deprecating humor around this. Whatever your nationality is, I have a lot of Asian guys living in the United States who think that white women don't want them or white guys who are attracted to African-American women and they don't want them or black dudes who want white chicks and they don't want them.

16:52 I had my black friend once hitting on my white friend and my white friend was like, I would never sleep with a black guy. And what happened? My fucking boy had sex with her that night because he didn't care. He made fun of himself. He showed her that it doesn't affect him. When you're able to laugh at yourself in the right way, not an insecure way, but a way that shows security and that you have a smile on your face as you're making fun of yourself being Indian and you work at a customer service department where you're going to fix your computer in 12 hours for $2 and all you're doing is opening a Google browser.

17:25 When you can do that with a smile on your face, it's going to get more attraction. Even if you think it's not going to get more attraction. So whatever it is that you have, make fun of it. Tell her why she shouldn't date you. Tons of reasons. In addition to this, if you have some sort of high value thing about you, that should be the reason she shouldn't date you. You know you shouldn't date a doctor because most doctors are about $400,000 in debt. So if you marry a doctor, you're just taking on his debt.

17:52 It's like the worst thing you could ever do. Or you know you shouldn't date a lawyer, right? No, I didn't know that. Why not? Because he's always going to be arguing with you. That's what we're paid to do. We're paid to argue. So all he's going to do is argue with you, try to prove his point. He's constantly a litigation. You don't want to deal with a guy like that. You know why you shouldn't date a dating coach, right? It's because right now I am manipulating you using NLP and all my persuasive tactics on you.

18:20 We definitely shouldn't talk, Kelly. And then she's going to fucking stand there with a look on her face that looks like she just had 16 orgasms in a row. It is insane. You'll tell girls, this is why I'm not good for you. This is why you shouldn't date me. And then watch the reaction. Now, obviously, boys, and I mentioned this previously, it's the delivery. It's how you do it. It's your behavior. Are you congruent with it? Are you really confident in just saying that you're not? Or are you insecure in trying to make some insecure joke about, oh, I'm so short.

18:50 You should never date a guy like me. And then she's like, you're right, I shouldn't. So gentlemen, behavior is always more important than the words that you say. But don't be afraid to tell girls why they shouldn't date you. This shit works like gangbusters. And if you're butthurt about me picking on your race or perhaps you're butthurt because I left out your race, your nationality, your ethnicity, whatever it is, check the vagina in your pants, take a deep breath and unhyper extend your butthole by realizing I'm just joking.

19:22 And I try to be an equal opportunity hater and hate on everybody equally, but I'm sorry if I left you out. I'm sure with a few deep breaths, you'll get over it. But guys, really, take this under consideration. Make fun of yourself. Self-deprecating humor. Tell women why they shouldn't date you. Yes, if it's either your race, something about you that is unattractive, but even something about you that should be attractive, such as having a good job, maybe being really muscular. You shouldn't date a bodybuilder because all he does is drink protein shakes and the farts are fucking horrible.

19:54 And I speak from experience. Whatever it is that you do, whatever it is that your ego has attached to, either in a good way or in a bad way, go into that willingly. Do self-deprecating humor. Make fun of yourself and show women that you are unaffected by it. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. Once again, if you want to get in the program with us and leave us some crazy review about spirituality and being the chosen one that when the bottle is rubbed, Mark Singh, the genie comes out to answer all your questions just like Thomas's review, sign up with us, brother.

20:29 Go to coachmarksingh.com, click on coaching, press apply, fill in the quick application. You and I will email with each other a little bit and then you're going to get on a free one-on-one breakthrough session with my wingman and partner, Victor Lynch, an absolute legend that I'd love for you to meet. He is a testament of what's possible with this program. The guy completely transformed and when you get on the phone with him, you'll see why he too is an absolute girl magnet. If you'd like to do that to see if my program is a good fit for you, we'd love to meet you, man.

20:57 Straight up. Would absolutely love it. Apply today and you and I will email with each other and see if it's a good fit. I do appreciate you listening and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.