The Top 3 Biggest Causes of Sadness & Depression And How to Beat Them For Good

0:00 Just going back to all those moments that I was carrying, and like some I didn't even realize I was carrying until I went through that. And that was like the biggest one. So it was like the first week, all of a sudden I was like, man, none of this is my fault. None of it's embedded in me. Like I can get it out of me. And that was the biggest week for me because after that, my confidence just skyrocketed. I felt like there was a million pounds lifted off my shoulders.

0:29 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What's up, boys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, guys, we're going to talk about the three biggest causes of depression. I've never talked about these ones on the podcast before. So if you've listened to any of my content about mental health, about depression, about suicidal tendencies, this is going to be something new for you.

1:05 And before we jump into the content, I want to let you know that I'm here for you, brothers. And even if it's just here for you in the way that you're listening to my podcast, I want to let you know that life is fucking hard. I hear you. I feel you. I've had suicidal tendencies before myself. This shit is not easy. So if you're struggling with depression, if you're struggling with negative self-talk, and even if you're struggling with suicidal tendencies, I understand how you feel, bro.

1:31 And I'm sorry you're going through that. It is not easy. Life is a bitch and then you marry one. You ever hear that adage before? It really is true. Not the marrying a bitch, but life is a bitch, man. And it isn't easy. And part of the reason I'm recording this is because a year ago, the guy who I started this podcast with, John Anthony, committed suicide. A lot of guys ask me, why did that happen, man? I thought John had it all. And I thought he had it all too.

1:58 And I've asked why time and time again, I've actually meditated and tried to reach out to him. And I feel I have gotten some answers back where the answer is kind of just this. Life is extremely difficult. And he was going through some stuff that I wasn't privy to that you guys obviously weren't privy to, but he was going through hell and he decided to end it all. And it reminds me of what Norm MacDonald said in one of his comedy routines. He's like, I don't understand when people commit suicide and other people are like, why did that happen?

2:29 I just don't get it. Why? And he's like, really? You're asking why? It's because life sucks, dude. It's really effing hard. And if you're anything like me, you listening, you've probably thought about it yourself. But I want to let you know that all things are temporary and eventually things get better, especially when you follow the three rules that I'm going to share with you today. So it isn't going to permanently be like this. If you are suffering from depression, if you are suffering from suicidal tendencies, life has a way of being bad and being good.

3:01 It comes in waves. You get the ebb and the flow and the good always comes with the bad. And you have to remember this too shall pass. We can talk all day about all the shitty things that life has to bring us, but there's also a lot of really good things. And you can't deny that. There's love. There's enthusiasm. There's passion. There's joy. There's peace. If you have a family, for example, and I hope you guys all get to experience this, when you have a kid who you can hug and hold on to, there is nothing better than that in the world.

3:31 And there's also other treasures in this world, such as being with a beautiful woman, falling in love, having a purpose in life. There's many great things. So if you are suffering from depression, if you are suffering from suicidal thoughts, I just want to extend that with you. Once again, boys, this too shall pass. And there's many great things in this world. And we're going to talk about the three biggest reasons that guys get depressed. Before I start with that, though, I want to say this. That little snippet that you heard at the beginning of the episode, that was from my client, John, who just graduated the program, having come into the program with himself, some suicidal tendencies, and the custom three-month NLP protocol that I made for him cured him of his suicidal tendencies.

4:15 Now, I'm just here to say I'm a dating coach for men. Yeah, I work on a lot of mental health type things with the neuro-linguistic programming. But if you're seriously struggling with suicidal tendencies and depression, I suggest that you seek out other professional help. But I'm going to admit to you, the stuff that we do in this program does help with it. And I've had many, many, many guys tell me that I help with their depression. I help with their suicidal tendencies. I mean, having the ability to get girls on command, that's going to make you pretty damn happy.

4:44 And that's going to combat perhaps some of those negative thoughts that a lot of you guys are battling with. So here's what I'm going to do. I am going to put the full interview with John at the very end of the podcast. After the music finishes, there's about a four-minute interview that I had with John, who too had depression, suicidal tendencies, came into the program, and now those are gone for good. I feel like it's a really good testament of exactly what's possible with this program.

5:11 And I also feel it shows how much I care about my guys. I do something to each guy who is about to have his interview with my partner, Victor, before they come into the program. I do something that blows each guy away when I do it because they don't expect it. And that's what I try to do as a coach. I try to over-deliver. I try to be the dude who shows I'm genuine. I care. I want to help you, bro. And that's why I have such high success rates.

5:37 That's why we have a high close rate. Most guys who get on the call with my partner, Victor, do end up moving forward with the call. And part of that is because a gesture that I do to each guy before he gets on that call, that really blows their mind. So if you're interested in working with me, bro, I feel like it's worth exploring. Put in your application. You can just click the link in the description below. All right, gentlemen, the three biggest causes of depression and sadness and, yes, even suicidal tendencies.

6:04 And I want to say this before I jump into it. This goes out to my boy, John Anthony. You are a legend, brother. I love you. And we will ride again. I can't wait to see you again, man. You're a fucking champion. And I have utmost love for you. Jesus, boys, I can, like, feel him standing next to me. I know a lot of you guys don't believe me. You think I'm woo-woo. But literally, dude, I feel him over my shoulder. So help me with this one, bro.

6:26 Let's help out these guys. All right, here we go. The first cause of depression and suicidal tendencies is harsh, critical words that you say to yourself. And this is one of the easiest things for you guys to fix. Now, obviously, as an NLP coach, I see time and time again the bullshit that you guys have to deal with as men who are trying to come up in your life, as men who are trying to get better with women. When you join my program, you fill in an NLP intake form.

6:53 It's a form that takes most guys about an hour to fill out. And using that, as well as the notes that we take on you during your initial NLP session with my partner, Victor Lynch, I create a custom three-month NLP protocol for you. Guys, I see time and time again belief systems and harsh, critical words that, guys, just like you are saying to themselves on a constant basis. I'm not enough. I'm an idiot. I'm not worthy. Why would she want to be with me? I'm stupid.

7:22 I'm worthless. Everything across the gambit that you guys are saying to yourself, you have to stop that immediately. And in a weird way, it feels good to say that to yourself, doesn't it? The reason that is, is because in your brain, there's neural pathways that are constantly being used when you talk shit to yourself. So if you say something like, I'm an idiot, time and time again, that trail where the synopsis travels down is kind of cleared because you've been saying it so many times to yourself.

7:52 So it feels good in a weird way because it's familiar. It also feels good because you have a victim mentality. Consider this. By you saying that you're an idiot, you have some sort of moral superiority over other people because you think they're not suffering the way you are. So by criticizing yourself, you almost allow your ego to build yourself up and feel better than people at suffering. Literally, boys, this is how a lot of people think. And this is a big cause for the ailment of depression.

8:24 You feel nobody understands me. Nobody suffers the way I do. So I'm superior to them. This is very common with people who have a victim mentality. So when you tell yourself over and over again something like, I'm not enough or I'm an idiot or I'm stupid, it feels good both because of the neural pathway but also because you have that sense of moral superiority over others. Isn't it insane how the ego can come through the back door and convince you of some bullshit that's completely toxic for your life and for your happiness?

8:57 Yes, it is amazing. So you, brother, have to start catching those bad words that you say to yourself. Now, obviously, in my custom three-month NLP protocol, we go after these belief systems with a vengeance and we remove them like removing a splinter from your brain. If you have a belief system, I'm an idiot. I will remove that from your brain as if I open up your head, reach in with some pliers and fucking pluck that thing out because it's BS. And what is BS? Not only does it mean bullshit, it also means belief system that somebody gave you before you could defend yourself from it.

9:32 So you're pushing print on a printer and printing out the same results that you don't like on some level, but on another level, you do kind of like it, which is why you keep doing it. So at this moment, if you are suffering from negative thoughts, negative self-talk, you have to make the decision, I will not do that anymore. I will catch myself, and here's a quick NLP, quick and dirty tip to give you to help you with this. When you say something negative about yourself, and we're using the example, I'm an idiot.

10:04 When you say I'm an idiot, I want you to catch it. Catching it is part of the process because now you're shining the light of awareness onto it. And I want you to say this, erase that. So if you're like, ah, dude, I'm such an idiot. I made another mistake at my job. Be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. Nope, erase that. Then you're going to erase that. Then you're going to say something to replace it. Everybody makes mistakes, okay? I'm not great at this.

10:30 So what? I'm great at a lot of different things. I'm not going to self-deprecate myself. I've done that for too long, and what has it led me to? Depression, misery, suffering. No longer will I suffer because of my own thoughts. Those days are over. The next one, gentlemen, is lacking intimate relationships. And I'm not just telling you this because I'm a dating coach. I'm telling you this because this is true. Having intimate relationships, yes, even with other men who are friends, is probably one of the most important things you can do in your life and one of the biggest reasons for depression.

11:05 Why is this? We are social creatures, boys. As much as some of you want to just go it alone, men going their own way, as that movement is called, it doesn't work. And I will constantly and perpetually fight against that movement, telling men that women are fucking liars, women are bitches, they can't be trusted, and tell them to go be alone for the rest of their lives because it's going to create misery, as a lot of you guys have seen. Did you know that being alone is equivalent to smoking seven cigarettes a day?

11:38 That's how bad it is for your health. Loneliness does not work, boys. You need a tribe. And believe me, gentlemen, I completely understand that you feel like you can't trust other people. I have been let down by so many people in my life. I have had my heart broken by so many girls, and I have broken a lot of girls' hearts, and it makes you believe that nobody can be trusted. So what am I going to do if nobody can be trusted? I'm going to trust the one thing I can trust.

12:03 That's myself. It doesn't work. I know your ego wants to do it. I know it feels good in a weird way, just like telling yourself that you're an idiot because you've convinced yourself, well, at least I can count on myself. Nobody can let me down now. I'm not going to put myself in that situation again. I'm here to tell you, boys, there are good people out there, and frankly, I feel like I'm one of them. Also, I have one upstairs. Her name is Marissa. She's just a good fucking person, and that's what I tell her all the time.

12:32 Her looks are going to fade. Her personality may not be perfect at all times, but she's a good human being. She has a good soul, and that's why I choose to stay with her. So don't get it twisted, boys. There are good people out there. You just have to maybe somewhat lessen your expectations of people because people are fallible, and this is something I had to work on for years on myself as well as with my own NLP coach because I expected too much of people because I expect too much of myself.

13:02 Yeah, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm sure a lot of you guys are too, especially if you have suicidal tendencies and depression. It says that you have a high bar. It says that you have high expectations. You want this life to be better the way it was when you were five years old, and your mom took care of everything, and it looked so hopeful, and it looks so dreamy, and there is so much promise. And then you get to be 18, 19, then through your 20s, you're like, man, this is some bullshit.

13:27 That promise, that hope has been completely pissed away. I get it, boys, but that hope is still there, and the hope for you to have intimate relationships, especially with a woman, is possible, and that's exactly the power that I give you. Because, yeah, man, not all girls are perfect. There's a lot of sea donkeys out there, a lot of canyon mules, and I know the last thing you want is a girl who looks like a face transplant recipient from a sea donkey, or a girl whose nickname is Captain Negatron, Sergeant Hater, or Major Body Odor.

14:01 Okay, you don't want girls like that. I know you want a quality girl, and brother, you can get it. I don't care how many bad experiences you've had, getting a high-quality girl is not only possible, but I'm sorry, man. It's important for your mental health. It's important for you to be happy. Lacking intimate relationships, yes, even with men, is one of the biggest causes of depression, so you need to take deliberate action and figure out how you can get into a tribe. Getting a tribe is one of the most important things.

14:32 That means a group of friends, perhaps a woman that you can marry, yes, even kids. As I mentioned at the top of the show, having children, in my opinion, is one of the most important purposes of your life. You have a purpose to procreate. That's why you have balls in the penis. So if you haven't yet and you still have the opportunity, have children. And if you can't have children, have friendships. Expect a little bit less. I expect usually about 90% from people. I'm like, all right, if he could give me 85% to 90% perfection, like he shows up usually, does what he says, he doesn't stab me in the back.

15:10 He's just generally 90% of the time a good fucking dude. That's good enough for me. He'll make mistakes sometimes. But don't make the mistake of nixing people just because they make one mistake. And I've done that so many times where I've nixed girls, so many girls I've nixed because of one little thing. I expected too much. That's why I came out with a podcast about a year and a half ago called 93% is Perfection. If the girl's 93% there, she's perfect. Marissa, I'd say she's 95% there. She has a few things.

15:41 And just to make myself more human, more realistic, I'll tell you one of the things. Her and I argue about the gender thing. She's like, I feel like people can have different genders. It's more of a scale. And I'm like, nah, dude, there's male and female. We discuss that. We don't really argue about it, but that's one thing we disagree on. And that's okay. 93% is Perfection. That includes male relationships. So don't disservice yourself. Go get a tribe. Go get male relationships. The last one, boys, number three is to follow your purpose.

16:13 Follow your passion. A lot of you guys are in careers. A lot of you guys are in life situations where you're not doing something that really brings you joy, perhaps because you've given up on your dream, perhaps because you've given up on what you're most passionate about. I don't know what your situation is. I'd have to work with you one-on-one in order to help you in this way. But I will say this. Many of us abandon our passions because we don't see the path to how we can be successful with them.

16:41 But I want to tell you, if you follow your enthusiasm, if you follow your passion, even if it seemingly seems completely worthless, you will be able to live off of it. You will be able to find success with it. And guys, I am a prime example of a dude who followed his passion and just kept getting knocked down time and time again. And this very business that I'm running, I failed for 10 years, time after time after time. I tried to launch this because it was my passion.

17:12 I knew I had a skill set to teach guys how to attract women. I knew I was a great coach. I just knew it. It was my passion. And even when people doubted me, even when the market told me that I was basically a piece of shit and nobody would buy anything from me, I just kept believing in it and I just kept following it. Because to me, working in a cubicle or being a copywriter, which I was for several years, was like death to me, bro.

17:37 Like if you show me a cubicle and say, Mark, you got to sit in there, I will turn recently deceased white. My stomach will fall out of my ass and I will launch a 50 foot rope of diarrhea and pure anxiety and hatred because me working in a corporate job just doesn't suit me. But me being a podcast host, me being a dating coach, I had to do it. And I just kept following that passion. So if you failed, if you can't see the way to do what you want to do, I want to let you know, brother, the obstacle is the way.

18:07 Always follow your passion, always follow what beats in your heart, because here's what I believe. You could take this or you can leave it. You came into this world with passion. And what is your passion? It's your soul communicating to you what your purpose is. Passion is the language of the soul. Enthusiasm is the language of divinity speaking through you, telling you where you should go. So follow your passion, follow your enthusiasm. Even if you have no idea how it'll unfold, do it. And if you have to make ends meet by working that shitty job, I get it.

18:42 You know, we're in this world. We have rent and we have bills. Do what you got to do. But at the same time, don't give up on your passions, boys, because when you finally figure out a way to express your passion, you will therefore express your purpose. When you have purpose, you almost cannot feel depression. I get depressed sometimes just like you guys, right? I'll get bummed out. I'll get irritated. That's a big problem for me is I get frustrated. And that happens to me too.

19:08 But I'm always following my purpose with this podcast. Do I feel like recording podcasts all the time? Of course not, dude. I'm not going to lie to you. Do I always feel like talking about how to get a girl's number, how to flip frames on her? Of course not. I'm not going to lie to you. But it's my deeper passion. So I do feel like talking about it most of the time. And that's why I follow that passion until it burns out and maybe I'll do something else.

19:32 You guys have heard me talk about how eventually I want to start a spirituality podcast, interview people who have had near-death experiences, interview people who are spiritually enlightened. I could see myself doing that. But right now, I still feel like the dating coach thing has a lot of passion for me. So I'm following that until it ends. And hell, I might fail just as I did with the dating coaching thing for 10 years before any spirituality thing takes off. Or maybe it'll fail completely. But I know as long as I follow that passion, my purpose will unfold and I will get the resources to be able to live, to be able to eat, to be able to do what I'm passionate about.

20:11 Here's a big piece of advice I've heard from a spiritual master. At any given moment, choose the thing that makes you feel the most passion. And that's what I did today. I was like, okay, I have a couple podcast topics. Dude, I'm just, I'm feeling the depression one, man. I was actually going to do this in like a week, but I felt it today. And I always just follow my passion, follow my intuition. What's burning in your heart is the way. So follow that. So to repeat, gentlemen, the three biggest causes of depression are harsh, critical words to say to yourself.

20:42 Remember, when you say something, say erase that and replace it. The second one is lacking intimate relationships. That's why my coaching program is here. I would welcome you with open arms. Click the link in the description below. And we can talk about how to get that part of your life settled. And then the last one is not following your purpose, not following your passion. So gentlemen, on this one year anniversary of my boy, John Anthony, the fucking champion, dude, the absolute legend, who I will see again.

21:11 And perhaps you'll get to meet him, too, on the other side. I want to let you know that you can get through this. This, too, shall pass. And if you're interested in working with me, if you are having some struggles with depression, suicidal thoughts, and you're interested in joining my program, which, once again, I need to reiterate, isn't a cure for that. But it can help because giving you the ability to attract women at will really helps your mental health, and the NLP does help considerably with past traumas and bad belief systems.

21:40 So if you're interested in exploring that, stay tuned. After the music stops, Liam, my podcast editor, is going to put on that, I think it's like three or four minutes with my boy, John. He's going to tell you what his experience was, and then you can click the link in the description below and come talk to us. Boys, once again, if you're suffering from depression, it's temporary, brothers. Don't do anything permanent to try to address a temporary situation. Energies ebb and flow. Good comes, bad comes.

22:08 You roll with the punches. You follow your passion. You learn how to attract women at will. And for God's sakes, please stop talking shit about yourselves because, brothers, we have enough hatred in the world. We have enough sadness. We have enough suffering. We need more love. We need more compassion. We need more joy because that, too, is provided in abundance by this beautiful world that we live on. So, boys, much love to you. Keep fucking going. Never out of the fight. And I will see you in the next episode.

22:49 What's up, John? I appreciate you joining me today. So, your video testimonial is going to be a little bit different because, for you, it was really a mindset kind of thing. You were going through some depression, some suicidal tendencies, as you explained to me. And the NLP and the self-development part of the program is really what attracted you. So, can you tell us a little bit about that? Yeah. I was in a really negative headspace almost every single day at work. Just thoughts running through my mind.

23:33 I was planning everything out. And then just one day, randomly, came across your Spotify. Just ended up in my algorithm. And at first, I heard the intro. I'm not going to lie. I was really close to skipping it. And we started talking, and it just brought me in. And I listened to the—I can't remember what the first podcast was that I heard. But it just gave me, like, a sense of hope. I was like, oh, if I had—like, there is hope for me to find a good relationship, and there is hope for me to find a good woman out there.

24:11 And I remember you saying certain things that I was doing, and I never knew that that was wrong. So, all those relationships that were failing for me, it was like a light bulb clicked in my head. And I'm like, damn, I was doing all that stuff. And that—I finally had a reason to why they weren't working, not just, like, I'm not good enough for them. Yeah. And so, that gave me a sense of hope. And I kept listening to your podcast, listening to your podcast, and I heard your fear podcast.

24:40 And that was the one where, like, I think that he can help me get over depression and stuff because I've tried medication. Yeah. I've done a bunch of other things, and they just didn't work. And, like, that was a light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah, brother. I appreciate you having faith in me and committing to the program. So, obviously, I want your honest truth. You don't have to embellish anything. What was your experience as far as the mental stuff? We know you got tons of success with girls.

25:10 We know that you're killing it in that aspect. But with you specifically, it was a—you know, when you said you planned it, that he's talking about suicide. He's talking about depression. So, what—was there a big shift? What was your honest, no-holds-barred just experience with the NLP and the MindState stuff in this program? Yeah, the first session, that was the timeline therapy. That was, like, just going back to all those moments that I was carrying. And, like, some I didn't even realize I was carrying until I went through that.

25:47 And that was, like, the biggest one. So, it was, like, the first week. All of a sudden, I was like, man, none of this is my fault. None of it's—none of it's embedded in me. Like, I can get it out of me. And that was the biggest week for me because after that, my confidence just skyrocketed. I felt like there was a million pounds lifted off my shoulders. And I noticed while I was at work, because it's really boring at work. So, my thoughts weren't negative, I'm not enough, I'll never be enough for anybody.

26:19 Then, like, all those thoughts just randomly disappeared. Well, it wasn't random. It was systematically disappeared. But, yeah, it was a huge shift for me. Because we buy into bullshit that isn't true, right? So, the whole time, you're just, like, hitting print on a printer, getting the same results of, like, I'm not enough. I'm a piece of shit. I want to end this stuff. You realize those are just illusions. I always say belief systems are BS. Which is belief system, but it's also bullshit. And it's easily removed with those NLP protocols.

26:49 So, I just remember you and the calls. It seemed like your spirit lightened. You seemed like you were lifted. And then, obviously, the girls happened as a result to that. Are you doing okay now? Where are you at? I know you literally just graduated the program last week. Where are you feeling now compared to where you were then and where you were when you graduated, which is three months. And you don't have to bullshit. Don't blow smoke up anybody's ass. Be completely honest. How much better are you?

27:17 I feel a lot better. Like, like I said, the negative thoughts just aren't there anymore. And I can't even. And it's like, when other people say negative things about themselves, I immediately eject in and be like, that's such bullshit. Like, don't believe that. So, I'm spreading that to other people as well. Like, my mom. Like, she'll be talking about all this stuff that she has to stress about. And I'll just remind her that it's out of her control. And a lot of the things that we stress about are completely out of our control.

27:47 And stressing about it doesn't help the issue at all. You just got to take action and deal with it or let it pass. Did you do every single protocol in the 12 weeks? So, I obviously prescribe roughly about three to five protocols per week over 12 weeks. Did you do all of them? Yeah. There's some that didn't lock me in, though. Okay. There's a few weeks where I would either fall asleep during them. But they didn't totally grab me. Yeah. And that's how it is. You know, some you're going to resonate with.

28:24 Like, you resonate with timeline and trauma and, I think, reverse spin. But other ones, you may not completely resonate, which is fine, right? That's why we do 12 weeks' worth. But the real benchmark is whether or not you got the progress. And we know that you were pulling girls and every week you'd just be like, dude, it's like a flood of chicks. That's fine. You know, that's obvious. Most – all my guys get that result. But I really like that you were able to overcome suicidal thoughts, bro, because that's really serious.

28:54 So what I want to tell you, too, brother, is what you just said is one of the best ways to continue on your path of healing is to help other people. Because you understand now how thoughts work. You understand now how it really is inside our heads. And when you can help others, you're actually healing yourself. Because I know in three months, like, not all problems are going to be solved. You're going to make huge strides. But your job is to continue doing the work. You have the NLP protocol for life.

29:24 You can prescribe yourself the different protocols now that you know how to use them and what they're for and then also helping other people. So, John, I super appreciate you trusting in me, trusting in the program. It's up to you now to continue doing the work because the work never stops. Even for me, I'm still working on myself. I'm still doing NLP. And that's why that tool set is yours for life. So thank you again, brother. I super appreciate you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, I wish you the absolute best.

29:54 Hopefully someday I can come out to Colorado and chop it up sometime. You're always invited, brother. And when I come to Tennessee, man, get ready because we're going to party it up. So thanks again, John. Thank you. Have a good one. You too.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.