Is She Attracted to You? Or Does She Just Want Your Attention? (Attention Hound Neutralization Team)

0:00 So women, as a lot of you guys have found out, will use guys for that attention. And once again, they don't need to get anything from you other than your looks, other than your compliments, other than your attention. They will give you their phone number. They will text with you or sometimes even go on a date with you, but they won't give up the sex. They won't even give up a kiss because they're using you both for attention as well as some girls will use dudes for nights on the town.

0:26 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you legends? Thank you for tuning in to yet another groundbreaking episode of the UMP. I super appreciate your guys' time. I know your time is very valuable. You could be doing a myriad of other things, but you're here to improve yourself. And I cannot tell you how much I respect that about you. But what pisses me off, and I'm going to be completely honest with you, is when girls waste your time.

1:06 And a lot of you guys are nodding fervently right now because you too get irritated with girls who only want you and are only using you for your attention. Because don't get it twisted, boys. Women find attention extremely gratifying. We do too as men to some extent, but it's not nearly as gratifying for us as it is for them. Women can live on attention. They don't need to go out with you. They don't need to kiss you or have sex with you. They could just get attention from you and be completely and utterly satisfied.

1:38 And a lot of you guys have been used in that way. We have to understand before we get into what women do and how to respond to when they do it, we have to understand that women are social validation seekers. They are feminine, therefore they get their validation from outside themselves, as opposed to you who are masculine, where you should be getting validation from within yourself. If you're a man who seeks attention from women, then you have an issue with your masculinity where you are being externally validated, therefore you're actually in your feminine, and you start to rely on that.

2:13 You get approach anxiety, you get fear of rejection, you don't want girls to reject you because you're placing too much precedence, too much importance on what they think of you. A masculine man truly doesn't give a shit about what women think of him. He is internally validated. But women, quite naturally, are externally validated. Think about it, guys. Why do you think chicks will spend literally hours a day, and I'm not even making this up, they will spend hours a day getting ready. When you see a girl who has her makeup perfect and her hair perfect, her nails perfect, her toenails perfect, her skin completely freaking moisturized, and wearing a banging dress, not to mention she might have a good body where she works out all the time, do you know how much effort that takes?

2:58 It literally takes them hours. To do makeup and hair can take at least an hour, sometimes two. And the reason they do this is because they want guys like us to check them out. They are, as I keep saying, externally validated. They get their state pumped up by being checked out by dudes. And once again, they don't need to get anything from you other than your looks, other than your compliments, other than your attention. So women, as a lot of you guys have found out, will use guys for that attention.

3:26 They will give you their phone number. They will text with you. They might even get on a call with you or sometimes even go on a date with you, but they won't give up the sex. They won't even give up a kiss. They won't give up anything because they're using you both for attention as well as some girls will use dudes for nights on the town. They'll use them for nice steak dinners or to get taken to a concert, a comedy show, or like a basketball game, as we were talking about last night in our coaching call.

3:53 One of my clients had a girl text him, hey, let's go to a basketball game. Otherwise meaning, hey, take me to a basketball game. And what I told them to reply back with was, awesome, what seats did you get us? So anytime a girl tries to get you to take her out to a nice dinner or to a sporting event or to like a concert, anytime she implies that, I always say, cool, what restaurant are you taking me to? Cool, what kind of seats did you get us to that concert?

4:19 Which is a way to flip the frame. But this is what chicks do, boys. And you guys know this. You've had girls do this to you where they try to get you to do shit for them and also just use you for your attention. So how do they do this? Okay, first of all, as I explained, they will go out to the nightclubs, the bars. They'll even look pretty in their day-to-day life when they go to the supermarket. Anytime you see a girl who looks extremely beautiful and she's got her makeup perfect, that chick is what we call a social validation seeker.

4:47 Or as my friends and I often joke about, she's an attention hound. Okay, any girl who gets all made up, unless, of course, she has to do so for her job or she's going to some social event. If she's just out in her day-to-day life or she's in the nightclubs and she's all done up, she wants attention. Of course, she may want to meet somebody. That's always a possibility. But the first thing and the most important thing is she wants that attention. And don't get it twisted, boys.

5:12 Guys like attention too. I know you like attention. You've gotten some attention from girls before, haven't you? It feels good. I'm an attention hound. I admit it forthright, man. Half the reason I go out to the nightclubs is I just love it when chicks jock me. I do, man. It's not even an insecurity. It just fucking feels good. When they put that beam of feminine energy on me and their attraction is there, I love it, man. And honestly, I was addicted to it for probably two decades as I was coming up as a pickup artist coach.

5:42 A lot of you guys know now I have a relationship, but I still go out to the nightclubs. I flirt with girls under the parameters that my girl Marissa and I have set up, and I get their attention. I like it. You guys think you like it? You think I like it? Just imagine how girls feel about it. They fucking love it. This is why they'll lead on dudes. This is why they'll allow orbiters in their life, a completely different topic that I could do 10 podcast episodes on.

6:09 An orbiter, of course, is a friend who she's friend-zoned who's basically orbiting her planet. He's waiting to get in, and he's hoping if he does her enough favors and blows enough smoke up her ass that she'll part her meat curtain for him and let him dip into the squishminton. We all know that ain't going to happen once your friend-zoned boys, it's extremely difficult to get out, although there are ways, and I have done podcast episodes on it. So these girls go out to the nightclubs. They just want guys to jock them.

6:39 They want guys to approach them just so they can feel good about themselves, just so they can get that external validation and get that attention because just like it feels good for us, it feels good for women too. And I'll tell you, boys, if you build the skill set to be able to get girls attracted to you on command, there's honestly no better feeling. It's the best shit in the world to see a hot girl, go up to her, spit some games, show some frame, use all the tactics I teach in my three-month coaching program, and then whoop, the light of attraction shines on you.

7:11 It's like bathing in the glory of God after you've died and gone through the fucking pearly gates, man. It is unbelievable how good it feels, and it feels good to girls too. So girls will go out to the nightclubs. They'll talk to dudes. They'll get free drinks, and then they might even give you their phone number. Here you are, Rear Admiral Anal Peterson, thinking that you're going to get some butt sex, and all she's doing is using you, and she knows it. And or she's putting you as a B-rate player who you're on the bench, and if her A-rate player falls through, she'll let you come out with her.

7:45 Maybe she'll even kiss you, but if you're a B-rate player, she's probably not going to have sex with you. She's probably just going to use you. And a lot of you guys are like, dude, this is so true. This has happened to me many times. So you can yank phone numbers, and then what happens? You become a damn pen pal with the chick, exchanging messages like she's in Germany, and you're in the United States, and you guys are in sixth grade, and you're fucking sending letters back and forth to one another.

8:10 Or a better analogy, you're in prison for the rest of your life, and you meet a chick off of one of those prison dating websites, which, by the way, boys, do exist, but all you can do is send letters to her. And you're hoping, you're praying, one day you can get a conjugal visit and part those meat curtains so you can get into the squish mitten. Probably isn't going to happen, because girls are completely cool to just use you for attention. Yes, boys, they are fine to just text with you.

8:38 Can you believe that? I mean, I don't know about you. Do I want to text with somebody random? Am I going to hit you guys up and be like, hey, boys, send me your phone numbers so you and I can text each other good morning and good night text? Fuck no, dude. Texting with girls is painful for some of us. And I know a lot of you guys are laughing right now because you can relate, yet for girls, they love it, dude. They want you to entertain them.

9:02 They want you to crack them up. They want you to put in the energy to feel like they are wanted. I remember once, about 15 years ago, one of my unattractive friends, her name was Carrie, and she hooked up with this guy. And the guy was kind of a douche canoe. He wasn't a really cool guy, but she was so pumped because when he had sex with her, it is so funny. He takes off her underwear and parts her legs, about to part the meat kern. And he's like, oh, this is just nectar.

9:29 It's just nectar right here. She was so pumped about that, man. I laugh every time. Marissa and I have a joke about that. It's like, so nectar, bro. I just want to lick on that thing. And she was so stoked. Like, she was on cloud nine for weeks after that. And I kind of feel sorry for the girl because she wasn't really that attractive. She was like a six. And she had a dude tell her that she was nectar. And she was so pumped about it.

9:54 But girls will get pumped on simply texting with you, simply having phone calls with you. And yeah, she may even agree to go on a date with you, but she's not going to give up her kisses. She's not going to give up sex. And I'm going to tell you these parameters to look for and what to do to get her to actually give up the kisses, to give up the sex, to give up what you want from her. But guys, if she's not going out with you, she's probably using you for attention.

10:19 If she goes out with you and she doesn't kiss you, she's probably using you for attention. If she has a six date parameter where she can't have sex until the sixth date, which I'll tell you in a second what to do when they tell you that crap, she's fucking using you, bro. She's using you for attention. She's using you for night outs. And this is why I always tell guys, don't spend a lot of money on her in the beginning. If you take her out to a $500 steak dinner on the first date, she's using you, bro.

10:47 You should be able to entertain her simply with your conversation. And this is why I say, I want you to have the skill set to literally take her to the top of a parking garage, open your trunk, get out a glass of wine or even a couple beers or a couple of sodas. And that's the date. All you're doing is talking to her. So going back to what I mentioned, when she has some six date parameter to kiss you or to have sex with you, you always want to amplify it.

11:12 You say, oh, you wait till the third date to kiss. I wait until the sixth date to kiss. So don't get any ideas, little Casanova, because it ain't happening for at least six dates. If she's like, oh, I don't have sex till marriage, you'd be like, I don't have sex at all, dude. I'm going through this whole life as a virgin. You'll never get to see the millimeter, Peter. You'll never get to see the angry inch. So anytime they try to put those parameters on you, you amplify it.

11:37 Guys, I have to tell you something real quick. Quick side note. I was recording this thing and I always record it on my iPhone and the fricking storage got full, cut off the recording. Meanwhile, I'm flowing and it's like storage full. Please delete files. Oh my hell, dude. I wanted to fricking flip over my desk that seriously pissed in my river. Launched a 50 foot rope of diarrhea into my morning coffee. God, that was annoying. But frame control is all about staying on your inner balance point.

12:05 So let's get back to the topic at hand. So where was I? All right. She's using you and you know it. What do you do? What you do in that situation is you pull back as I always talk about. If you're texting with her, for example, and she refuses to go on a date with you, you've mentioned it twice. Twice is always my parameter. If I have to say it more than twice, then she's definitely not interested. First time I say it, she kind of makes some excuse.

12:30 She's like, oh, I'm going to have a stomach ache that day, right? These excuses that these chicks come up with. Okay, I'll let it drop. I'll build up the vibe again, then ask again. So, hey, really, I think we should hang out. What's your week looking like? And then she comes with another excuse. I'm going to say something along the following lines. Hey, listen, I'm not looking for a pen pal. So if you're not down to hang out, just let me know. We'll go ahead and part ways.

12:53 As I always talk about, you guys are not to be fucked with. Your time is not to be wasted. So if you feel that she's just using you for attention, you need to call it out and say, hey, we need to shit or get off the pot. I'm not looking for a pen pal. A couple other things I like to say when she has lackluster replies, which is another sign that she's really not that interested. I say two things to that. The first thing I say is, so, hey, Kelly, I found an awesome new way to fall asleep.

13:20 Want to know what it is? And she says, yeah, what's that? And I say, texting with you. The second one is, my back's killing me. Want to know why? And she's like, why? And you say, from carrying this conversation. Look, boys, with some chicks who are just using you for attention, if you could flex up in that way and show them, as I always say, that you're not to be fucked with, they will get respect for you. And then they will start talking to you, will go out with you.

13:45 And yes, even kiss you and have sex with you. If you show them, I'm not looking for a pen pal. I'm not carrying this conversation. I'm not wasting my time. Why? The golden rule, boys, you always have to pretend you're wearing a bracelet. And what does the bracelet say on it? It says, what would I do if I were dating four girls? Every decision you ever make with the chick, you have to ask yourself that question. If you're texting with a girl for weeks on end and she's not willing to come out with you and you look at your bracelet and you're like, bro, what would I do in this situation if I were literally dating four girls?

14:18 You'd stop texting her. You'd pull away or you'd say something akin to what I said previously. Hey, my back's killing me. Why? From carrying this conversation. She might get pissed. She might blow you out. But at least then you know where you stand. Be a man. Let them know you're not going to let them waste your time because they will waste your time, boys, because they're probably using you for attention. She's not coming out with you. She's not participating. She's having lackluster replies. She's saying LOL to this like epic thing you said that was super funny.

14:48 Like the other day, Marissa and my brother and I were texting and I was ripping on my brother and I was like, hey, bro, I won't tell the family about your Mein Kampf tattoo that you have on your butt. And then Marissa didn't even give an LOL to that fucking text. And I thought it was the funniest text of the month. Mein Kampf, as you guys might remember, is the book that Hitler wrote before World War II. And I'm teasing my brother saying that he has a Mein Kampf tattoo on his butt, right?

15:13 And I go up to Marissa and I'm like, yo, if you can't recognize good comedy, I'm afraid you and I have to part ways. And we were kind of laughing about it. But it's always, look, you are not to be messed with, boys. You know your value. You're not wasting your time. You're not wasting your breath. So if she's not willing to come out with you, huge red flag, drop her ass, put her in the friend zone, which is another alternative. Hey, listen, I don't really feel like we have the chemistry to justify continuing this forward, but I like you a lot personally.

15:41 So let's go ahead and be friends. And you could do this to a girl who perhaps is in your friend group, who you could see is just using you for attention. A girl who you met off even the dating apps, who you've been on a date or two with. She's not giving it up, but you guys relate. You guys could be friends. Friends on their asses. When you show them that you're willing to drop them, which is another rule I have called the drop rule, they usually will come running back.

16:05 Now, if you're taking them on nice dates and they're not giving up the sex, what you could do then is also pull back. Friends on them, preemptive breakup. One of my clients, Ricky, what is up, Ricky? If you're listening, asked me the other day, he's like, Mark, did you ever see that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza breaks up with a girl who he thinks isn't really into him? It's this woman who like plays piano and he's dating her and he's like, Jerry, I can tell she's about to break up with me.

16:33 And then Kramer, the genius comes in and he's like, break up with her. And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, do a preemptive breakup, break up with her or at least threaten to do so. And then she'll get into you. And that's what happened. So George is like, hey, just to let you know, I'm breaking up with you. And she's like, what? I thought things were great. And he's like, eh, live and learn, right? It was a really funny part. But that's a testament to the preemptive breakup and or preemptive friend zone.

16:58 Now, guys, you may be thinking, dude, you're playing games, bro. You're being a douche canoe. What the fuck is she doing? She's playing games. She's using your dog. She's using you like that blow up doll that you bought off that sex website last month, blew it up, put it on your bed. And you having sex with that thing was pure embarrassment, bro. It looked like a turtle trying to get onto a life raft in an emergency in the middle of the ocean. And your face, bro, that face you made, pure embarrassment.

17:28 All right? That's how she's using you. So do not let her do so. Friend zone or break up with her. Pull back. Say, hey, if you're not willing to participate, these are the consequences. I'm not going to be used by you taking you out to ball games and basketball games and concerts and art museums and taking you out to $500 dinners. No, it's either we can have fun with just our conversation. It's either we're going to start moving this along physically. We are going to advance this thing or you're getting blown out.

17:58 Why, boys? The golden rule. What would I do if I were dating four girls? Would you put up with having a pen pal, a girl who's just using you to entertain her with all your epic gambits and all the funny things you say? Of course not. You would blow her out and show her that you're not like all the other dudes who are going to placate to her desire for attention. Because again, guys, and I really want to reiterate this, women getting attention from you is for some of them as satisfying as having a relationship with you, having sex with you, having that deep connection.

18:31 For us, it's not satisfying at all. I mean, it's great to have girls jock us and to want us, but to have a pen pal, hell no. You would rather have a colonoscopy without the anesthetic. That is how much that we hate texting as men. At least I do. And I'm sure you guys do too. So don't let these girls use you for attention because they will do so. You basically have to tell them, hey, shit or get off the pot. Or you do a preemptive breakup and or a preemptive friend zoning.

18:59 Let her know that, hey, if this isn't going to progress, then I'm out. And guys, I've had girls straight tell me I'm not having sex till marriage. And I told them, that's a deal breaker for me. So here's your options. We either continue seeing each other with the possibility of having sex or we part ways. And sometimes you just have to give them those two options. It's not an ultimatum. It's the truth. I don't want to be with a girl who I can't have sex with because for me, before I marry somebody, it's extremely important to me to know that her and I have sexual chemistry.

19:29 So if a girl's not willing to have sex with me, I'm out, dude. I'll try some of those techniques. I'll pull back. I'll say, oh, we're not having sex for six months. I'll do all that stuff. But if it doesn't result in physical escalations, us having sex, then what are your only options? Friend's owner, preemptive breakup, you're out. And oftentimes they will give up what you're looking for. Be it hanging out with you if they're just texting with you. Be it kissing you if they try to put some parameter on it.

19:55 And even something like sex. Yeah, guys, you have to know what you want and you have to go for it. If she's not willing to do that, she's not the right girl for you. And you're not going to wait around placating to her while she tries to make up her mind as to what she wants. The best way to get a girl off the fence is to push her to the other side. Then what's she going to do? She's going to fucking jump over like a bunny rabbit to your side because you're the one dude who has the balls to do that to her.

20:21 And the reason we say, I'm going to make you wait six dates when she says, oh, I have a three date kiss rule is because when you don't resist her parameters, when you make them much worse than what she sets down, it shows that you're not trying to get it. Therefore, her walls come down and the chances of her actually kissing you within three dates go up exponentially. So if she says to me, oh, I don't kiss until the third date, I'm like, oh, that's good because I don't kiss till the sixth date.

20:48 And don't get any ideas, young lady. You're not going to get lucky tonight, Casanova. Then what I'll do is I'll really lay on the attraction and then usually the kiss just happens. And if she's like, what about the sixth date rule? I'll turn that around on her and I'll be like, what about your third date rule? Listen, we just had the chemistry, the mood struck, things happen. It's just a testament to perhaps how much we're attracted to each other. Come on, let's go check out this other thing.

21:12 And you lead her to where she wants to be led. So gentlemen, I hope that's helped you. I don't want these girls wasting your time. I definitely don't want them wasting my time. If you'd like to become an assassin with women like all my clients are, I actually had a review that I was going to read, but I kind of went off. And then that whole storage thing that happened on my iPhone, which I literally want to fucking chuck across the street right now, that whole thing kind of distracted me.

21:35 So I'll read it the next time. I actually have an entire desktop full of screenshot after screenshot of dudes just singing the praises of my three-month coaching program. Why haven't you applied yet, brother? Don't you want to talk to me? Don't you want to meet and see if I can 10x your results with women the way I've done with every other client, you're listening, what is it now, like 28 minutes in? You obviously resonate with me, man. So let's talk. If you're afraid, face your fears. If you're worried about the money, we'll talk about the money.

22:02 If you're a procrastinator, get off your butt and execute. Women are attracted to trigger pullers. Trigger pullers are the men who get what they want in life, and that includes getting women. I'm here for you if you want to talk, brother. Just click the link in the description below. Fill out the quick application, and you and I will get on a one-on-one NLP Zoom call with me and my team to see if we can skyrocket your results with women, as we do with every single guy who comes into the program.

22:29 Looking forward to meeting you soon. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you, that's right, in the next episode. Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.