How to SPEAK IDENTITY Into Women (Attraction Mega Hack)

0:00 The good news about erectile dysfunction is it can be cured with diet and exercise. The bad news is it's going to be extremely difficult to get your wife to diet and exercise. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, boys, we're going to talk about how to speak identity into women. This is essentially shaping behavior so that she behaves both how you want her to behave as well as she wants to behave to give her the most satisfaction in your guys' relationship.

0:50 So I'm not going to talk about my three-month coaching program today. I'm not going to read yet another testimonial. We're going to jump straight into it. So I did a podcast about this. I believe it was in 2023, a couple hundred episodes ago, about preemptive compliments and shaping negative behavior and punishing that behavior. This is a little bit similar but a little bit differently. I call this identity hacking and or speaking identity into a woman. And by the way, if you have kids or you're going to have kids in the future, really pay attention to this because this is straight parenting right here.

1:23 This is exactly how I'm raising my little girl to become the best human being she can possibly become because that's obviously my mission, man. I want her to be happy. I want her to be successful. I want her to be monetarily set. And as an NLP coach, I understand how important the first seven years of life are. Therefore, I'm really taking a lot of energy. I'm intentionally speaking identity into my daughter. Her name is Lucia and she's five years old right now. I'm speaking identity into Lucia so that she can become successful.

1:53 So when I talk about this stuff, boys, I don't want you to hyperextend your butthole or if you're a female listening, hyperextend your vagina because I know this is controversial to shape someone's behavior. But you guys should know by now, I don't really give a shit if I'm controversial. I truly do not give a fuck what you think about me. This is what works and this is what gets guys laid. And also, this is what makes women satisfied in relationships. So listen closely. Take notes. This is speaking identity.

2:21 Let's get into it. Speaking identity is essentially telling the woman how you want her to be. And again, if you're a woman listening, you could do this to a man and if you're a parent or will be a parent, think about this from a parenting perspective. You are telling that girl or that child how they are. It's very simple. If you catch them doing something right, tell them how they are. For example, with my daughter Lucia, I always say to her, God, you're such a hard worker.

2:50 And by the way, boys, instead of telling a child how smart they are or how talented they are, you should always reward them on hard work. Because then if they fail, they don't attribute it to any kind of internal or innate ability that they either have or that they're lacking. So I always compliment her. You work so hard. Now, what does she do? She works hard because she thinks that daddy sees her that way and she wants to live up to my expectations. People want to live up how you view them.

3:19 And that's so important. I want to say it again. If you view somebody a certain way, they are literally going to change their behavior in order to meet your expectations of them. So if you have a friend, for example, or obviously if you're dating a girl, for example, and he or she believes that you think that they always come on time, guess what? They will always be on time because that's your expectation. People behave how you expect them to behave. I remember several years ago, I wanted to try out this theory with a girl I was dating.

3:50 And so I kept speaking identity into her, telling her that she was very sexual, telling her that she had big orgasms, that this is the way she was. And I could just sense that about her. And you could do this without any evidence. You just basically say, you know, I have a sense about you. I have a feeling that you're really sexual. I just get a sexual vibe from you. I feel like you have good orgasms. And then what happened with this girl? That's what happened in bed.

4:15 And she wasn't being a mattress actress. She wasn't pretending to be very sexual. She was living up to my expectations of her. So another example of this in a sexual context is if you're getting a blowjob from a girl, for example, and you could tell maybe she doesn't really love to do it, after she's done, you always want to thank them, right? Like, thank you. It's always weird, right? After you get a blowjob, you're like, do I say thank you? Do I pat them on the back?

4:41 Or what do I do there? I always tell them how much I enjoy it. But what you could say is if you feel like she's not going to give you blowjobs in the future, you could tell her how good she is at it, how much you can tell she enjoys giving that to you, how selfless she is in giving that to you. And women, if you're listening, I'm going to tell you the easiest way to keep your man satisfied. This is all you have to do.

5:04 Rather than us men having to listen to fucking 600 episodes of the Unapologetic Man podcast just to figure out how to keep a woman happy, I'm going to tell you you have to listen to five seconds of this podcast. And here's how you do it. Give the dude blowjobs. You're done. Congratulations. You can stop listening now. Give the dude five blowjobs a week. He will stay with you forever, especially if you're good at it. But if you're a dude who has to listen to 630 episodes or even pay me to come into my program to learn how to deal with psychotic women, and you guys know I'm joking.

5:37 Women aren't psychotic. They're just complicated. We're just going to say that. They're complicated. What you need to do is shape their behavior by telling them how they are and preemptively complimenting what you want them to do. So another example, you meet a girl on Instagram, and you're looking at her pictures, and her home looks like a hovel. It literally looks like a pigsty. You're convinced that there's probably a homeless dude living under the pile of clothes in the corner of her room as she's taking selfies with, like, perfect makeup on, perfect hair, banging ass tits, and then behind her looks like she literally lives in a pig pen.

6:12 And you're like, dude, I know there's a homeless guy underneath the fucking pile of clothes you have in your corner. So you see that, and you're like, okay, she's probably not a very clean person, and I can probably assume she's not usually on time. Now, does being dirty and not being on time always happen with one another? Yes, consistently, every time, bro. Of course I'm kidding. But you just get a sense about her, right? Like, maybe you heard some things about her. She doesn't seem like she's really organized in her life.

6:39 She's literally driving a freaking brown Honda Civic with a white door and a unicorn decal on the hood, and you're like, okay, this girl hasn't quite gotten her life together yet. I have a feeling she's going to be late. There's several ways you can approach this, and this all comes into the speak identity philosophy. The first one is the catcher doing something right. So hopefully she shows up to at least your first date on time. You immediately compliment that. You'd be like, hey, you know, I noticed you were on time.

7:06 A lot of girls are really flaky, but I respect that about you. You're on time. Man, I love that because honor and doing what you say you're going to do is super important to me. Good job. And you kind of compliment her. The second thing you can do is I heard about you XYZ thing. Now, with this girl who lives in a pigsty, whose life is obviously a complete dumpster fire, you could go a different direction where you say you don't like a certain thing, and it even makes you lose attraction for people when they do that.

7:35 Now, it's even before she shows up to some event or shows up on your first date. You're like, okay, dude, I can tell this girl's going to be like an hour late, dude. Like she does not have her life together. Guys, I've dated chicks who I've texted them, and they didn't text me back for three days. And then they text me back, and they legit lost their phone. And they were drunk. They were high for literally days on end. And then I find out later, she literally couldn't find her phone, dude.

8:01 Some of these hot chicks are absolute fucking dumpster fires. You wonder what happens with some of these people when it's like they got to go find their social security card and go re-get their driver's license or something. Sometimes I wonder how these people survive, right? So you're talking to this girl, and you're like, yo, this girl's an absolute train wreck. I know she's not going to show up on time. You could speak identity into her by saying something akin to, you know, I was hanging out with my friend last week, and dude was 30 minutes late.

8:28 I just find that so disrespectful. And especially with women, it's just kind of a turnoff. You know what I'm saying? Like for you, if a dude showed up 30 minutes late to a date, you'd probably just leave, right? And she'd be like, yeah, probably. Be like, yeah, it's just a turnoff, you know, when people do that. And now when you ask her on the first date, she's probably going to show up on time because you've preemptively spoke identity into her and, or we could say you preemptively punished bad behavior by saying it turns you off.

8:56 Now I want to specify something on that thought. Instead of saying you don't like it or it makes you mad, what I always like to say is it turns me off, makes me lose attraction, which is a huge way to get girls to do what you want them to do. Say that that behavior, and sometimes you kind of have to use verbal judo, or as I like to say tongue foo, tongue foo is pretty good one, right? Using that tongue foo, you say it in a very delicate way where when certain people behave like this, I lose attraction because she wants to keep you attracted to her.

9:29 Even if she's kind of on the fence about you, she wants your attraction because as I talked about in a recent episode, women love attention. Is she using you for attention or is she really into you? Well, whether she's using you for attention or actually interested in you by saying you lose attraction when either she does that thing or other girls do that thing, she's not going to do that thing because she wants your attraction. Again, even if she's just using you for attention. So to repeat the ones we've been over so far, boys, you say, I like this about you.

9:59 Catch her doing something right. The next one is you are this way. You just tell her how she is. Hey, I heard about you. You're really honorable. Hey, I heard about you. You love to cook and your cooking is amazing. Think about that one, boys. If you want a girl to cook for you, you could say, oh, I heard you're an awesome cook. Damn. I like that about you. She's going to want to impress you. Therefore cook for you. The next one is you catch her doing something right.

10:23 She does something you like. She says something you like. You compliment it. You reward it. You make her feel good. She does some shit you don't like. She does some shit that turns you off. You withhold attention from her. Perhaps you turn your body language away. When she does what you want fun. When she does what you don't want, not fun. It's very akin to dog training. And once again, if you're a woman listening and you're going to hyperextend your ponytail, this isn't just for women.

10:48 It's for all people, including men, including everybody. You want an employee to do what you want? Reward when they do something good. Punish when they do something bad. It's basic human psychology. It's the same thing with parenting, boys. You got to catch that kid doing things right when he or she doesn't do what you want. Obviously, there's either punishment or you withhold what they want. This is speaking identity. This is creating a behavior that you want to create. And of course, the next one is that you preemptively say what loses attraction when you think that she's going to be a certain way.

11:22 Now, I have a quick story, which goes into my final one. One of my clients was talking to a girl, yanked her phone number, and he was so pumped, man. He came into the coaching call. He's like, dude, that was the first time ever that I approached a girl in a nightclub, completely cold approach. At first, she wasn't attracted to me. She actually frame checked him. He passed the test. He got her attracted to him, and he yanked her phone number, and he was so pumped.

11:46 Well, what he did wrong, and I rewarded him, man. Believe me, I rewarded him. I make my guys feel great for every little success because what? I'm speaking identity into them. I'm rewarding them for doing the work, right? Exactly what I'm talking about here. So he did everything right except for when it came to the friends. Now, you guys have heard about cock blocks, right? These chicks that usually look like a linebacker, and when they fucking come to cock block you, it's like a linebacker flying horizontally off the 20-yard line into the end zone and fucking sacking your quarterback and having a touchback.

12:19 That's how these goddamn cock blocks are. So the cock block comes in, and he didn't neutralize her, as I always teach. How do you neutralize a cock block? You immediately befriend her. You talk to her. You tell her that she reminds you of your friend or she looks just like your cousin. Now you guys are best friends, and you could even speak some identity into her. You could say something along the lines of, you know, a lot of girls who are friends of, say, a girl I'm talking to will be really mean to me, but you're hella cool.

12:48 You're different than those other girls. I love that about you. Do you guys see what I just did? She's not going to cock block me now because I just spoke identity into her, telling her she's not like all those other cock blocks. But still, dude, these chicks will fucking fly horizontally off the 50-yard line, sack your quarterback, and get you blown out, which is exactly what happened to my client. So he texts her the next day. They're having a good conversation, and then what does she say?

13:12 She's like, my friend doesn't want me talking to you. So I told him to do a speak identity type tactic, and here's what we said. We said, wait, you told me you were independent. It's one of the things I like most about you. You don't let your friends control your life, do you? So you see what I did there? Even if perhaps she didn't tell him she was independent, so many things happen in conversations that you perhaps don't remember everything, but look what we did here.

13:36 Wait, you told me you were independent. It's one of the things I liked about you. So by him saying that to her, she's thinking, oh, he likes me for being independent, so I want to keep proving to him that I'm independent. And then he asks her the question, you don't let your friends control your life, do you? I love asking questions like that. It kind of comes from copywriting, where you're like, wouldn't you agree that? You wouldn't do this, would you? Because she now has an identity of being independent, and that's one of the things he likes about her.

14:07 So if she's having her friend control her life, she kind of goes down in her own self-image. Therefore, she's more likely to say, no, I don't. She's being a bitch. Anyway, and then he blows past that linebacking objection, and he's able to continue forward, getting her attracted, and then getting her on that date. So preemptive compliments, speaking identity, preemptively even punishing behavior before it comes out, telling her how she is, catching her doing something right. These are all the ways to speak identity into women. And if you're a woman listening, and I do get quite a few women listening, this is also a way to speak identity into a man.

14:44 And if you guys are going to be parents or you are parents, this is how to speak identity into your child. Tell them how they are. One of the worst things you can do is buy a child a shirt that says, here comes trouble. Because if you do that, you're speaking a bad identity into that child. It's like telling a kid all the time, you're a bad kid. What's the kid going to become? A bad kid. He or she is going to be a douche canoe.

15:07 You don't want that. You want to tell the kid, you're a good kid. Always catch your kid doing things right. Preemptively compliment the behavior that you want to shape, and let them know that the negative behavior just isn't how they are. Right? With my little daughter, Lucia, I always tell her, you know, you're a good kid. You don't do bad things like those other kids do, right? And it may seem like manipulation, but this is the way human behavior is shaped. And especially with children, boys.

15:32 First seven years, they're in a mild state of hypnosis, which is probably why some of you guys struggle with women. You have belief systems, traumas, archetypes, and metaprograms. You don't even know that are running in your head, which is exactly why I use NLP to remove that shit, so that you could be more effective both with women and in life. And what's interesting, and I usually never talk about this, most of my guys who come through the program, who remap their belief systems and archetypes and get rid of past traumas with NLP, they usually make about 25% more money, including 10xing the results with women.

16:04 A high tide raises all boats. So when you get better with women, because you're remapping what's inside here, and I'm pointing at my head, if you're listening on audio, everything gets better. Your happiness gets better. You make more money. It just gets better overall because you're getting better. So boys, steal this concept. The next time you meet a girl and you don't feel like she's going to behave the way you want her to, tell her she will behave the way you want her to, and then she will.

16:28 Speaking identity to women. Some powerful shit. Gentlemen, as a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you, that's right, in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.