The Sickest NLP Guided Visualization Ever Created: THE SPARTAN KING

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Now, some of you may have been confused looking at the title because I promised you that I'd be dropping a podcast today about whether or not you should get the Instagram or the phone number. But something happened in my life on Monday that's making me do this throwback episode instead, my favorite episode of all time called The Spartan King.

0:42 So fucking sick. It's an NLP guided visualization. And you're probably wondering, why did I tell you I would be dropping a podcast about Instagram, phone numbers, etc. And now I'm doing something different because I got in the absolute worst mountain biking crash of my life on Monday. I was at a bike park. It's called Winter Park Trestle in Colorado. It's where you take the ski lift up and then you ride down doing doubles and freaking tabletops and berms. And it's the sickest thing ever. And I've been riding mountain bikes since I was 12 years old.

1:12 I have never gotten in a crash like I did on Monday. So basically, here's the story. I was riding down on the very last run, as it always goes, right? It's always the last run at the very bottom of the mountain. Seriously, it was too flat. We were on the flat area. We were completely done. We just came off a fire road and we were entering back into the staging area where everybody kind of meets and where the ski lift is, etc. And we were going really fast because we just came down this really steep road.

1:42 And we came into this flat area that I guess is sometimes a parking lot or whatever it is. And I turned around to tell my buddies, hey, let's go over here to this power washer thing so we can wash up our bikes and then get going. Next thing I know, it's 20 minutes later and some chick is talking to me, telling me not to take Advil, not to hit my head again, not to do XYZ. And I'm like, what the literal fuck happened? So I guess what happened is I turned around to talk to my buddies and I just fucking went over the handlebars.

2:11 I don't know if my wheel turned a little bit and I hit some sort of crack or a root. I can't figure it out. I haven't really had the chance to talk to my friends. I think I talked to them, but I've forgotten everything. So I'm actually going to talk to them tomorrow. They're coming over for the 4th of July, which is when this is dropping. But I guess I went over the handlebars and I hit my head so hard, obviously got a concussion. Something happened to my back.

2:32 I saw a general practitioner and she told me I need to see an orthopedic surgeon. She thinks I tore some kind of muscle in my back, but I can't tell what's going on. But it hurts to breathe. It hurts to talk. So I'm sucking it up for you, champions. But literally, boys, 20 minutes of my life just freaking gone. As the day continued to progress, I started getting memories back. And one thing I do remember is I looked back to talk to my friends. And the next thing I remember is being on my back with the wind knocked out of me.

3:00 A lot of you guys have had the wind knocked out of you. It is a shitty feeling. And my buddies were hovering over me, but the sun was behind them. So they look like alien beings hovering over me, bro. And I thought I was being abducted or some shit. I didn't know what the hell was happening. One minute, I'm like chilling with my friends, riding my bike. Next minute, I'm in an alien abduction story. So the wind's knocked out of me. And I just remember trying to get off my clothes because I was wearing body armor, which the doctor told me saved my ass.

3:28 In fact, doctor told me had I not been wearing a helmet, I would have died. I would have fucking died. I got a gnarly concussion. I still have a bad headache from it. But I remember like trying to take off all my clothes. And I remember my two buddies hovering over me. And it was just the creepiest thing ever. And then my next memory is the ER doctor who my buddy went and got. Talking to me and like doing some concussion protocol on me. I don't remember walking back to the car, which was apparently like 15 minute walk.

3:57 I hardly remember my buddy Brian driving my car back. I only started getting my memory back when we got home. And then I saw my friend. She's a doctor. Her name is Carol. She did another concussion protocol on me. And she thinks I ripped the muscle on my back to which again, I'm going to go get a professional look at. But yeah, man, it was the single worst accident I've ever had. And I've been writing since I was 12, man. I mean, I've been in probably dozens of accidents, nothing remotely close to this.

4:23 Have you guys ever been knocked out or had this kind of thing happen where there's a space of your life you can't remember? It is the weirdest thing I've ever experienced. My entire life, I feel like I've had a stream of consciousness where I can piece everything together. Of course, not while I'm sleeping, but I always can remember what happened, right? But there's literally 20 minutes to a half an hour. I just don't remember. And my buddies were telling me I kept asking the same questions over and over again.

4:50 And another memory came back where I had like double vision for a while and I was pretty freaked out about it because I thought my eyes were fucked up. Dude, I thought I was going to die, bro. It was really scary. And I'm sure a ton of you guys listening have been there. But yeah, I'm on concussion protocol. Can't have a lot of stimulus. So while I know you guys probably want to send me your condolences, please don't email like that stuff because I have to go through all the emails.

5:14 My assistant, Danielle, is going to help me. But trying to like answer them and say, thanks, bro, it just puts more pressure on my eyes to which I'm supposed to be resting. But I'll be back in the fight, brothers. And that's why today I want to do the Spartan King, the sickest NLP guided visualization I have ever heard. I created this thing like two years ago. It took a lot of work to do it. But I absolutely love this thing. So what I recommend is listen to it right now.

5:40 Kind of just enjoy it. Listen to it as if you're listening to an audiobook or something like that. Then I strongly recommend you do what I say in that recording, which is to lay down, close your eyes and actually put yourself there because this is going to boost your masculinity, boost your testosterone, make you feel amazing and confident. And I strongly suggest you guys do this if you haven't heard it. So like I said, I'm on the mend. I'm feeling better. My headache is still there, but I kind of think it might be going away soon.

6:07 So on Saturday, I am going to deliver all my promises because every word I say by definition is a promise. And I'm going to give you guys that Instagram versus phone number theory that I have and how to do it when you're meeting and attracting women. I also have a huge, gigantic, enormous announcement that I can't wait for you guys to hear. So make sure to show up on Monday. I'm going to be back in the fight soon. And that's why I chose this visualization because it's all about hardening the fuck up.

6:38 When you fall, you get back up. You keep going. You are never out of the fight. So enjoy this visualization, gentlemen, and I will see you in the next episode. All right, here we go. You look to your right and you see hundreds of warriors lined up shoulder to shoulder. Each man is holding a shield, a spear, and a bronze helmet with a horsehair crest. The line stretches a mile long, each man holding his spear at high port, making a spike fence that's absolutely still in the breeze.

7:20 You look to the left and it's the same thing. 500 warriors dressed in bronze, sweat, and scarlet red cloaks. You at the very center of the line. You look down and you see your shield in your left hand and your helmet in your right. Slowly you put on your helmet. It feels sturdy and true. The smell of polished bronze, oiled leather, and years of preparation fill your heart with confidence, courage, and love of the fight. You hear the wind going through the horsehair mohawk on your helmet.

7:51 The traverse horsehair crest of a Spartan king. You step out in front of your army and turn around. You're immediately taken by the glistening sun coming off the polished bronze shields and Corinthian style helmets. The eyes of the helmets are stark black like some expressionless demonic army ready to bring on the coming mill of slaughter. The sight of this army, your brothers that you've known since you were a child, fills your heart with courage, pride, and love. You notice every head is turned towards you now, waiting for your words, waiting for your leadership.

8:26 You hold up your left arm, your shield arm, and yell, This is my shield. And at once the entire army of 50,000 voices joins yours. This is my shield. I bear it before me into battle. But it is not mine alone. It protects my brother on my left. It protects my city. I will never let my brother out of its shadow, nor my city out of its shelter. I will die with my shield before me, facing the enemy. At this, the army starts marching. You turn around, wait a few moments, then you get absorbed into the mass of moving men.

9:00 This is the Spartan phalanx, a tightly packed group of warriors with a line of shields across the front. 50 shields deep, 1,000 across. You at the very center. You and your army march in perfect unison. Each step drilled tens of thousands of times. A mass of men so fluid and well-rehearsed, they become one. All the me's, all the I's, all the us's, they all become you, shoulder to shoulder with your brothers, with one beating heart. The phalanx is so smooth, so seamless, it moves over the battlefield like water.

9:35 Now from the ranks rises the hymn of Apollo. 50,000 throats sing in the Spartan song of battle. And on the climatic beat of the second stanza, Heaven's shining brother, Skyborn Hero, the spears of the first three ranks, including your spear, snap from the vertical into the attack. You can feel the weight of the helmet on your head. You can feel your footsteps marching in perfect beat to the trumpeters. You can see the enemy in front of you, out the eye slits of your helmet. You hear your breath.

10:05 You feel your heart pounding. There they are, just a half a mile across the field, that's smooth as a school teacher's desk. The enemy, now full of piss and vinegar, and no longer able to be held by their officers, lets out a deafening battle cry that echoes off the adjacent mountains. They start to charge. The ground shakes like an earthquake. Your army keeps marching in perfect order. Not even one warrior so much as flinching at this otherwise terrifying sight. The enemy, now getting closer, is charging at a full sprint.

10:38 Your army keeps walking. You can see the whites of the enemy's eyes, yet your army keeps walking. Then, as if in slow motion, your two armies collide. It's like being hit with a mountain. The thunderous crunch of shield upon shield echoes across the battlefield, like 10,000 thunderbolts striking at once. The weight of their entire force is now pressing on your shield and the shields of your brothers down the line. The warrior behind you pushes his shield into your back, and the man behind him pushing his shield into his back, the same thing all the way back through the ranks.

11:12 The pressure is unbearable. You can hardly breathe as you're pinned between two pushing armies. But you're trained for this. The mind has many different rooms, some of which you should never enter. Fear is such a room, and the solution to fear is action. You and your army find its footing and begin to push. The Spartan trumpeters, who stand at the very back of the line, start calling out the beat. Step by step, you begin to move forward. Shield to shield and eyeball to eyeball with the enemy, the raw strength of the entire Spartan army, pushing their king from behind.

11:47 The spear tips of your brothers from behind you hum past your helmet over and over again, killing men so fast they seem to disappear into the ground before you. Step by step, this continues. Your feet now walking on the slithering forms of the dead and dying. You glance to the right and you see the traverse horsehair crest of your best friend, Aristodemus. Your brother that you've known since as long as you can remember. The left side of his shield overlapping yours, protecting your blind spot. Keeping you safe in its shadow, as your shield is doing for your brother on your left.

12:20 This wall of brawn protects your army as it advances. Step after step, thrust after thrust, your spear tip now dripping with the blood and guts of the enemy. On and on it continues, the burning in your shoulders, the quaking in your thighs. The pain is a gift of unmovable determination. I will die before I quit, you say. Suddenly you feel the pressure of the foe give way before you. A shout, half of joy and half of awe, springs from the groats of your brothers. The enemy are losing their courage and some of them are turning to run.

12:52 The Spartan phalanx breaks up, each man to fight on his own merits. You break your spear off in the gut of some bearded mercenary and draw your Zephos, your Spartan sword. Left and right, you're slaying the enemy with the swordsmanship you've been practicing non-stop since you were three years old. You kill three enemies so fast the last guy is dead before the first two hit the ground. Then some giant from the enemy four-rankers catches you unaware, slamming you over the head with his battle hammer. You fall to the ground, blood pouring from your face, helmet tumbling into the fray.

13:25 Just as you peer up to see his hammer coming down on your head, delivering the final blow that will surely send you to hell, the shadow of a Spartan shield falls over you. The hammer slams into it, then a bigger, ghastlier thud lands on top of you. Wiggling out from under the body of this enemy giant, you're pulled up by one of your brothers. It's Aristodemus, looking like a god made of muscle and bronze. With the blood sprayed grin, he says, now's no time to take a nap, brother.

13:54 You both laugh and enter back into the fray. On and on the fighting continues. You break three swords, cave in at least five shields, and plunge discarded spears into the faces of so many enemies, you can hardly decipher reality from some never-ending nightmare. Your wound is open on your head, your skull shining naked to the sun. But you know it's not fatal, so you take a sick pride in it. At last, the trumpeters sound victory. Your limbs quake and tremble as you fall to your knees.

14:25 Many of your brothers do the same. Having exerted feats of physical prowess that go beyond anything remotely possible, were it not for war. The army begins to gather around you. You rise to your feet, and very slowly, very methodically, raise your sword to the sky. Not with arrogance, not with self-aggrandizement, just the humble acknowledgement of victory. Without a word, all your brothers do the same. We score the life of leisure, laziness, and weakness, you say. We've instead enrolled ourselves in the academy of discipline and sacrifice.

15:02 And now we have this. Victory not over the enemy, but victory over the enemy within ourselves. What man wouldn't give everything dear to him to stand with us now. And now with your intention, I want you to float that Spartan king off the battlefield and into your body as you're listening to this right now. Feel the pride of confronting your fears with a full, courageous heart. Feel the satisfaction of moving into your pain willingly and rising above your fears to live a life that is worthy of you as a man.

15:37 Let's paint the inside of your body with this feeling, and let it seep into every cell of your being. What is a warrior? It's a man who fights, regardless of the battle that lays before him. And now I ask you, brother, what is your fight? What are you willing to sacrifice for? What is worth the pain for you to achieve? You have a warrior inside you, so let that warrior fight. Thank you for listening.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.