STOP Being Ashamed of Your Sexuality!!! (Including Masturbation oh no!)

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? First thing I want to say to you is congratulations for clicking on this. A lot of shame is around sexuality in today's society, and the fact that you clicked on this shows me that you're open to addressing that shame, open to addressing some of the issues you may have with your own sexuality, with masturbation. Talk about a word that a lot of people don't like to talk about.

0:38 It makes them so red, they look like they can apply to be a clown at the freak show. But you don't want to be at the opposite end of a freak show experience. You want to be proud of your sexuality. You want to be the dude who knows he's attracted to women, knows he loves women, and is completely okay with that. So I respect you for clicking into this one. I actually Googled for you, how often should you masturbate? So now that's on my Chrome history in my browser.

1:05 So someone's going to be like searching through my computer and be like, what is this search history? How often should I masturbate? Mark Sings got more problems than we thought, but I did it for you, brother. And some of the answers I got, which I knew was going to happen, were so fucking stupid. It's like the advice people give is painful. So I'm hoping that I can give you better advice than that advice I got on that Reddit thread that I read, which basically said, masturbate as much as you want to.

1:37 As long as it feels good and you're being healthy, then it's okay. Which honestly is kind of the correct advice, but I want to go a little bit deeper into it, specifically focusing on your sexuality towards women, shame around your sexuality and helping you question it and realize that if you have shame around your sexuality, that is the stupidest, most bullshit belief that you could possibly have compared to any other belief system. Even if you believe the world is flat, even if you believe that fairies exist, this is stupider than those kinds of belief systems that your sexuality is wrong, your sexuality is shameful.

2:15 And you try to come while Jesus isn't looking because you're afraid of committing a sin. Bro, it's 2024. Let's get realistic about this shit. And let's really meditate logically on your sexuality, my sexuality, everybody's sexuality, and stop being so shameful around it because that is a huge reason a lot of you guys struggle with women. They can pick up on the shame that you have around your own sexuality, the shame that you feel for approaching a woman in public, worried about what other people are going to think of you, because essentially what you're communicating is, I'm a sexual man, I'm sexually attracted to this woman, and yeah, I'm trying to have sex with her.

2:56 Think about that. The next time you approach a woman and you're trying to talk yourself out of it, a lot of the reason could be is because you have shame around your sexuality. So we are going to address that today by questioning it, by running it through a logical filter to question whether or not that this is something that you should abide by or perhaps this is something you should question and start being proud of your sexuality. How many messages out there tell you, be proud of your sexuality, be proud of the fact that you want to have sex with women, be proud of the fact that you have a boner the size of the Statue of Liberty, and that thing can hit the fucking ceiling every time you come because you are a man and you make no apologies for it.

3:38 There are very few messages out there and I'm here to bring in that new message to you gentlemen, who yes, many of you have shame around your sexuality. Why do we have shame around our sexuality? Usually because of religion. I like a lot of things about religion, but this is one thing that I have to question and one thing that I think has created a lot of guilt and a lot of shame in the lives of men particularly. Women too, but men have a lot of shame around their sexuality because they've told you that it's a sin.

4:09 If you rub one out, you're sinning and you're going to hell, has been the message for thousands of years. Now, if you believe that, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. I think it's complete and utter bullshit. But if you believe that, then you have to explore your belief systems and you have to explore why it is you believe that. I think 90% of people listening have probably had encounters with Christianity or maybe Islam or some other kind of religion. And for the most of us, we've looked at it and we kind of see that there's a lot of hypocrisy.

4:41 We see that perhaps it isn't a right fit for us and we've moved past it, but that guilt still remains. Now, that guilt I'm going to get into in a second. But if you are Christian, I'm not ripping on your religion, bro. I think you being Christian is a lot better than you being nothing, and at least you're trying to do the right thing and live as Jesus did. So I respect it, but it's not for me because there's a lot of things in the Bible and other religions that make us feel guilty for what we really are.

5:08 What are we really? We're sexual beings. As I said in a recent episode, you would not be here were it not for the sexuality of your ancestors. Getting butt ass naked and fucking to make you. This is how humans continue the lineage. So in my opinion, it's God created. It's natural. God, source energy, whatever you want to call it, made an extremely fun and exciting way to create more of us. Wouldn't you agree? So why are we shameful about it? Again, going back to religion. And a lot of us, just having been exposed to religion in a small way, or for some of us a bigger way, still have that guilt behind it.

5:48 But what is that guilt? It's around a belief system that, as I mentioned, a lot of us have already dropped. Now, once again, if you're listening to this episode and you're a Christian and you're wrestling with some of the things that are said in your Bible or perhaps your Islam or your Hindu or whatever it is, that's something that you need to address because it is going to affect you very negatively when you're trying to get women. Perhaps if you buy into the belief system that you're sinning because you masturbate, then you should go get a girl who believes the same thing because I can't help you with that.

6:20 But I'm talking to the vast majority of other men who don't have to go up against that gigantic obstacle and who just have some lingering guilt because of a societal acceptance that masturbation is shameful, it's gross, it's disgusting, it's something that we try to hide, and it's something that we should be ashamed of. I totally disagree with that. I totally disagree that masturbating, being attracted to women, wanting to have sex with women is anything to be ashamed of. In fact, and here's the zinger, boys, I think you should be proud of it.

6:51 I think that when you feel sexually attracted to a woman, you should be like, hell yeah, my testicles are working. Testosterone is producing your testicles. Your dick is there for a reason. You are able to get a boner the size of the Sears Tower for a reason to procreate. You should be proud of that shit, proud of the fact that you want to stick it inside a woman because I know a lot of women are proud of their sexuality. And women, for some reason, oftentimes have way more acceptance around their masturbation than men do.

7:21 This is really a men-based shameful belief system that women have somehow overcome. How have they overcome it? Because they're feminine. They're in touch with their bodies. They think it's sexy and elegant and comforting to masturbate. Yeah, some of them have guilt around it, particularly those who have been exposed to religion, but a lot of them masturbate all the time. On that Reddit thread that I was reading, some chick says she masturbates eight to ten times a day. Holy crap, if I did that, I'd get nothing done.

7:49 Other girls masturbate once a week. They just get out the vibrator, rub one out, and get it done so that they can fall asleep, so that they can relieve stress. And guys, you can do that too. So when it comes to the topic of masturbation, here's my thoughts about it. As long as it's not chronic, which in my definition would be affecting negatively other aspects of your life, and more importantly, as long as you don't have a porn addiction, which means, in my opinion, you can't masturbate without porn, then it's fine.

8:19 How often would I recommend the average guy bait every week? I don't know, five times a week, I guess. Me, I try to use some of that leverage of the nofap, which means no masturbating, to up my energy level. So I masturbate pretty infrequently, plus Marissa and I have a lot of sex, so I don't need to. But I'd say maybe like once a week for me, maybe sometimes three times a month, depending. But if you're doing it, I'd say more than a couple times per day, that could be problematic because it's interfering with other aspects of your life.

8:53 And if you have a porn addiction, you should basically wean yourself off of that. And I'm no professional when it comes to this. This is just my everyday layman's advice as a dating coach. Wean yourself off of it until you're able to masturbate without it and only use it sparingly. Do I watch porn sometimes? Yeah, I do. I like to think back to chicks that I bang, find a girl who looks just like her. And have that memory and enjoy it as I'm doing that. Marissa is the one who I like to have sex with the most.

9:21 It's the best sex I've ever had in my life. So she's the number one. But can I still think about other chicks that I banged? Of course. Does she think about other dudes she's banged that she masturbates? Probably. Do we tell each other about it? No. There's certain things you just don't want to hear. But we're human and your sexuality is human. So do you have pictures of your ex-girlfriends that you masturbate to? That's okay. Do you think about ex-girlfriends as you masturbate? That's okay. Do you masturbate to the hot chick you saw in the gym or the nightclub the other night?

9:50 That's okay. That's natural. How do I know it's natural? Because every single guy, including both you and me, do it. So it must be natural. And to feel guilty for it is stupid, in my opinion. When's the last time you baited and came and you're like, yeah, dude, I'm a fucking champion. Very, very few of you have ever done that. I double dog dare you to try that. Once you start restructuring the mapping around your belief systems by relating differently to that which you used to be shameful about, you will change how you feel about it.

10:25 Once your feelings about your sexuality change, you will no longer telegraph awkwardness and nerd mannerisms in front of women, and you will get them more attracted to you. Besides, what's life where every day for some of you, you do something that you're ashamed of, that makes you feel guilty, that you have to cower like a dog who just ate a treat he wasn't supposed to eat? I don't want to live my life like that. The next time you masturbate, I suggest to you, be like, damn right, dude.

10:52 I'm a man. I got a boner the size of a SpaceX rocket, and I rifled one off. Thank God that shit works. Thank God I can still come. Thank God I'm still attracted to women. Do you know what it's like to be asexual? I met one once. You don't want to be that dude. It's a shitty life. The fact that you have sexuality, you get horny, and you want to fuck girls, and you masturbate. Be proud of that, because that's why you're here. This is why your grandparents and ancestors were able to produce you, brother, because they had sexuality.

11:22 You think your grandpa was shameful about boning down on your grandma? No. What if your grandpa was so ashamed of his sexuality that he didn't bone your grandma? And what if your mom and dad were so ashamed of their sexuality they didn't have sex? I know thinking about those people having sex is absolutely disgusting, but thank God the guilt and shame and taboo around their sexuality didn't prevent them from having you, brother, because you wouldn't be here. So here's my advice. Be proud of your sexuality.

11:54 Yes, man. I know you're attracted to girls. Good for you. It means your shit's working. I know you want to have sex with those girls. Good for you, bro. I completely support it. I know how you are, brother. I know when you see some tits, you stare at them, and you start sexualizing them. Good for you. That's what you're supposed to do. I know when you see a nice ass in those yoga pants, especially the black ones with the thigh gap. Even I'm getting horny right now when I just think about that shit.

12:18 Good for you. It means you are working. You are operational. Would you want it any other way? And provided you're not leering at women, looking at them like a piece of steak and making them feel uncomfortable, women like to be sexualized. They like to be wanted. That's what the feminine does. It's externally validated, which is why there's so many Instagram models and girls going out to nightclubs dressed up in little booty shorts and yoga pants. They want us to want them. So be proud of it.

12:48 Don't be ashamed of it. And the next time you masturbate, I dare you to say, dude, good job. How many of us have done that? Instead, we buy into, dude, do you know what you look like when you're coming? You look like your brain short-circuited as you had gas blown up your butt. And while you're being electrocuted and tickled in the butthole with the fucking feather, that's what you look like. Bro, don't buy into that. Don't think about it. Be proud of that shit. I dare you to be.

13:15 When you are, yes, even about your masturbation, women are going to get more attracted to you. Let's be comfortable with it. We are sexual beings. What's up with the shame? Think about that. Really logically think about that. Why is it shameful? Why, if God exists, did he, she, it, source energy, whatever, create this desire in us? Would it create something in us that we wanted and then be mad at us for acting on it? Kind of seems hypocritical. I don't know about you guys, but I have a four-year-old daughter.

13:46 I would never send that girl to hell if I could. Even if she murdered everybody in the city, I'd still love her unconditionally. Do I expect less of God, our creator? I'm sorry, but nothing is shameful in the eyes of God. At least that's what I believe. If you struggle with those belief systems, I ask you to question them. But if you're like a lot of guys where you've been exposed to some of that stuff, you've seen society, make fun of masturbation, you just generally struggle a little bit with your own sexuality and fearing to be creepy when you approach women, question it and reframe it, which is what becoming good with women is all about.

14:22 It's reframing those things that are holding you back. I shouldn't approach girls. My sexuality is creepy. I don't want to disturb people. I have nothing to talk about. She'd be better with a different guy. You guys have to question that all the time. Question it and reframe it. She'd be better with another guy. Really? How are you coming to that conclusion? You don't know her. You don't know the other guy. She could be your soulmate, bro. You guys could relate like nothing you'd ever seen before.

14:49 And furthermore, for those of you who have fetishes and weird sexual kinks and turn-ons, there's girls out there who have that same kink and turn-on. What if you not approaching her deprives her of that sexual experience that only you could give her? There's so much wrong thinking out there. I'm here to fix it. And I'm here to suggest to you, be proud of your sexuality. Be proud that you're attracted to women. Be proud that you look at them and you want to have sex with them.

15:15 And be proud of, yes, even your masturbation. It's healthy. It relieves stress. It helps you sleep. There's been studies that says in the right proportions, which again, I'd say maybe five times a week actually boosts testosterone, ups your immune system, and makes you feel better. Bro, life is hard. It fucking sucks. Masturbation's fun. So enjoy it. Don't be shameful about it. What kind of experience is that? You rub one out and then you feel like shit for two hours? Fuck that, dude. Fuck it. Be proud of it.

15:44 You are supposed to masturbate, my good sir. I hereby grant you, masturbation station in your house. So get after it and don't be shameful about it. I wish somebody told me this because it took me years to get over my guilt about masturbation stemming from what? Some esoteric old ass church I used to go to when I was in seventh grade. Fucked me up for years until I finally said, yo, I'm following my own lead. I'm sexual. Should I feel guilty about that? Well, would I feel guilty that I'm a human?

16:16 No, that's how I was created. Would I feel guilty I'm a man? No, that's how I was created. Would I feel guilty that I'm just naturally attracted to women? No. Why would I do that? I'm naturally attracted to them. And would I feel guilty for doing something every single fucking human being does? It's stupid. So question it and reframe it and say, no, now I'm going to be proud of it. And watch what happens both to your enjoyment of sexuality and more importantly, to your attraction from women.

16:43 It's going to be a night and day game changer. Gentlemen, it's your job as a man to question everything in this life. Run it through your filter. That's what frame control is. It's not only frame controlling other people. It's about frame controlling yourself. You get the life you choose when you choose the belief systems that are most conducive to your happiness and to your success. I hope you've gotten something out of this, gentlemen. Yeah, it was uncomfortable to record, but I'm willing to take the hit for you guys because I know a lot of you guys needed to hear it.

17:15 You can make fun of me. You can send me hate mail. You can say I'm going to hell even. I don't fucking care because I've dealt with the bullshit that society and religion has given me and I'm a much happier individual because of it. So happy, in fact, that I want to share it with you guys. So I hope you've gotten something positive out of this. As a reminder, on Thursday, I'm dropping that podcast about whether or not you should go for her Instagram or for her phone number or both.

17:40 And if you do each one, how you should approach the situation based on the information that you got from her, it's going to be a really good one. And I have a gigantic announcement to announce on that one. So please stay tuned for Thursday. And gentlemen, have fun rubbing one out tonight. After you shoot that load, be like, yeah, bro, I'm a fucking man. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.