Should You Go For a Girl's Phone Number or Her Instagram? This is The Answer…

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Happy Monday. I hope the weekend treated you well. And today, we are going to talk about whether you should go for her phone number, her Instagram, and what to do in each situation depending on which one you get. I am going to go over a lot of information today, much of which you've heard before, but it's really important that you guys understand this critical element of attracting and seducing a woman because this is one of the most important parts of your quote-unquote seduction process.

0:49 So I'm going to go over all that today. I have a lot of really good information, and gentlemen, make sure to stay tuned until the very end because I have a huge announcement to make. You guys all want to hear this. You are going to get access to me personally in this all-important announcement, so make sure to stay tuned until the end, not only for that, but because I got a lot of really good information to drop. Some of you may have heard that I did get into a gigantic mountain biking crash on Monday.

1:12 Right now, I'm recording this on Saturday, and for you, it's Monday. So when you're listening to this, it was a week ago at Trestle Bike Park, which is basically one of those mountain bike parks where they take you up to the top in a ski lift, and then you come blazing down. I got absolutely fucking annihilated. I don't remember 30 minutes of my life. Little bits and pieces are coming back, but I just had a chance to talk to my buddies who were there, and there's a few funny stories.

1:43 I'm going to tell those, and then I'm going to get into the content. First of all, for those of you who typically watch on video, apologies. I'm not recording this on video, but usually I have a big-ass light shining behind my camera, and it was just too much for my eyes, man. I just got a concussion. This shit was giving me a headache within 20 seconds, so I was like, yo, I'm just going to do audio today. Starting on the next podcast, I should be able to do video, but that's why you're not seeing me on video.

2:11 Second thing is, and this is really funny, when I got my concussion, my buddy grabbed a doctor because I happened to crash somewhat close to the urgent care on the mountain. So he ran in there, grabbed a doctor, and she came and talked to me. It was 20 minutes after the crash that she was interviewing me, and that's my first memory is her just asking me random questions. But while she was interviewing me, she asked me, do you remember what you had for lunch? And I said, I'm going to need some more time to answer that question.

2:36 Next question, please. And everybody was laughing, and I'm laughing about it, too, because I'm always negotiating. I'm always controlling that frame. What I should have said is, the real question is, do you remember what you had for lunch? And turn it around on her, but obviously, I didn't remember. It wasn't until later that I started getting my memories back, as I said. Another thing that happened is, after I came home that day from the crash, we had our friend Carol come over and examine me. She's a doctor.

3:05 And about two hours later, my woman, Marissa, and my daughter, Lucia, were playing outside. And I walked outside, sat on the little bench we have on our patio, and I looked at her, and I was like, did Carol come over today? And she gave me a look like I just shit on her barefoot, dude. She gave me a look like, are you fucking kidding me right now? And I'm like, relax. I'm just kidding. I'm messing with you. But I wanted to make her think I forgot about everything that happened.

3:31 And that was really funny. And finally, my buddies told me that every five minutes, I would ask the same question. For like 30 minutes, about six or seven times, I asked the same question, which was, what happened? But what they told me I'd always say is, all right, guys, all right, guys, I'm back. What the hell happened? And then they would explain it all to me. And then five minutes later, I'd say that same thing. All right, guys, I'm really back this time. I promise. So what exactly happened?

3:57 Anyway, my headache is finally going away. I'm still just a bit dizzy and on Monday when you're listening to this, I'm going to go see an orthopedic surgeon about what happened to my back. I think I just bruised some ribs or perhaps maybe even fractured some because just really fucked up in my left ribs. But other than that, boys, I'm back in the fight. Hopefully this coming Thursday, I'll be back on video. So that's the story. If you want to hear more about that, listen to my previous episode, The Spartan King.

4:24 And one other thing I want to say is, in that visualization, if you've heard it or even if you haven't, I am Aristodemus. You are the Spartan King. So listen to it again and know that in that story, I'm Aristodemus. Mark Singh is Aristodemus and you're the king. Kind of makes the story a little bit better, in my opinion, if and when you listen to it again. If you haven't heard it, please check it out. It is the sickest, most epic, most gangster NLP visualization I feel I've ever created, at least on this podcast.

4:56 Of course, on my best shit, I say for my tier one clients in my program. But that thing is absolutely awesome. So check that out if you get a chance. Now let's get into the content. All right. So as I've recently talked about in an episode, getting a girl's phone number is not that difficult. In fact, you could get a phone number with pretty much zero attraction. Why is that? Mostly because she just wants to get rid of you and or not disappoint you. So I have a lot of listeners to this podcast who write me and they say, Hey, I'm able to get phone numbers, but none of these chicks are texting me back.

5:29 They're not interested. They're not engaging with my text. What the hell am I doing wrong? Well, it always goes back to that first conversation. As I said, you can easily get a phone number. The real question is, can you get a text back? And of course, the all important question is, will she actually show up to a date with you? Now, as I always talk about, that's all based on attraction. If you have enough attraction, she will go on a date with you. If you don't have enough attraction, she either won't go on a date with you or not even reply to your first text.

6:02 So we have to understand that attraction is a spectrum, as I recently discussed in a recent episode. And you need a certain amount of attraction in order to get her to come on a date with you. So if you're getting phone numbers and she's not texting you back, not enough attraction, bro. She gave you her phone number simply to get rid of you. Think about your own life where some creepy dude wanted to be your friend and he wanted to get your phone number or you're walking through Costco and some jackass is trying to sell you something and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

6:32 Here, take my info. Let me know. Simply to get rid of them. Simply to make that social interaction smoother so you don't have to have an uncomfortable moment. For the most part, women do not like confrontation. They don't want to stir the pot. They don't want to rock the boat. So they're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's my Snapchat, whatever. Here's my Instagram. Here's my phone number. Yeah, yeah. Text me later. Oftentimes too, if they're not into you, they'll give you a fake phone number. But in my experience, they'll typically give you their real number and then just not reply and or block you.

7:04 I know I've done this to chicks too. When the chick's really into me, I don't want to fucking argue with her. I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, give me your number. I won't text her. Or if somehow she happens to get my number and she hits me up, I'll just block her. I'll just be like, nah, dude, I'm not interested. And then as I talked about in a previous episode, probably about a year ago called the Tempe Turnaround. If I take a chick's number and I don't text her and I happen to run into her again at the nightclub, which frankly happens pretty damn often.

7:33 And she's like, why didn't you text me? I always say, I did text you. You didn't text me back. I was on the corner of my bed in the cannonball position crying like a school girl because you didn't text me. And I'll make a joke about it, kind of blow past it, and then not address the real question. Why didn't you text me? Kind of like when that doctor asked me, what did you have for lunch? I was like, I'm going to need some more time to answer that question.

7:57 Next question, please. You just blow past it. You control the frame. So if she didn't text you back, brother, not enough attraction, pretty fucking simple. If she does text you back and then you lose the conversation, that could be two because you didn't have enough attraction in that first interaction or your texting game is boring. Obviously, this episode is not a comprehensive analysis of your texting game and how you're fucking up. But I hear time and time again about guys who have weak texting game. They're not engaging.

8:27 They don't build intrigue. They don't make her laugh. They don't keep her interested. And then she falls off. But even if you have super shitty texting game, if you did really good in that first conversation, you built attraction, you controlled the frame, you built trust and connection, and you got a really solid phone number, your weak texting game probably won't be enough to kill that because you built so much attraction in that first conversation. So it's all about the first conversation. It's all about attraction. If she's falling off somewhere, it's usually because of that.

9:00 Now that begs the question, well, what about numbers I yanked off of Tinder or Hinge or Bumble? Well, your pictures weren't good enough. Your vibe wasn't good enough. It just is what it is. On those dating apps, pictures matter enormously. They're 90% of it. So if you have shitty pictures where you're showing low value traits, you have crappy clothes, blurry pictures, you don't look like you're confident and living a lifestyle that she wants to be a part of, she's not going to be very engaging. You're just shuffled into the average schlep, hundreds of which she's dealing with on a day to day basis.

9:34 You're average, bro. So you need to up your game. And obviously, when you text her, you want to build intrigue. You want to be interesting. And yes, I'm going to give you a couple of lines. Firstly, when you meet her in person, your first text always needs to go back to something that you and her spoke about in that first conversation. Say, for example, you do what I often do, which is to accuse her of being a crash helmet tester, which is applicable to today's episode because my helmet just saved my life.

10:02 And now I am officially a concussion survivor, which will be my excuse moving forward. Anytime you hear a mistake in my podcast moving forward, it's the concussion, bro. Wasn't me. It was the concussion. So if you're talking to the girl and you do what I always do, which is to accuse her of being a crash helmet tester. So hey, Kelly, I know the crash helmet testing has been getting to you because the other night you kept asking me what your first name was. I'm here to let you know your real first name is Shed Dynasty, dot, dot, dot.

10:34 All right. So this points back to something funny that happened in the first conversation. If indeed she was buying into your teasing and she was really laughing about the crash test helmet joke, then you can allude back to it, make her laugh and give her something that she can hit back to you easily. When it comes to the dating apps, which really isn't the purpose of this episode, but I'll give you a few anyway. One that we use that is tried and true is, so hey, Kelly, I noticed something interesting about your pictures.

11:04 And next one we've been having good success with is, so what's your story, Kelly? I'm going to guess job-wise, either an ice cream man or machine gun saleswoman, which usually gets a good reply. You can use the fuck, marry, kill opener, which goes, fuck one, marry one, kill one. Me, Hitler, and me again. Go! Exclamation point. A few other ones we've been having success with are, this isn't working for me, period. I want a divorce, dot, dot, dot. Excuse me, comma, Kelly. Can you share the model's name to use for your fake profile pictures?

11:37 I'm interested in learning more about her. Not my favorite one, a little bit too complimentary in my opinion, but it does work. And the last one I'm going to give you out of the hundreds that I give to my clients is, Kelly, you look like you could kill with kindness. How do I know I'm not walking into a death trap here? That works really well, too. It's funny to me because I have researched for years all the best opening lines, sifting everybody's content, and there's so much crap out there.

12:06 And I feel like I've gotten all the gems and collected them into one single template, which I give to my boys in my three-month coaching program. This shit works. And that was just a small sample of what my boys get when they join us in the program. So many templates that just work like absolute gangbusters. So we understand now that when you yank a phone number, you're not always going to get a text back. The reason is always lack of attraction. If she's engaging with you, if she's willing to go on a date with you, it's because you built enough attraction.

12:39 Either in that first conversation or in the case of the dating apps, you've been able to build enough value and attraction based on your pictures, based on your profile. The most important thing is attraction. Not enough attraction, not enough replies back. Enough attraction, she's going to definitely reply back, engage with you, go on a date with you. Again, the issue is always attraction. All right. Now we go into Instagram. The basic premise when it comes to whether you should get the phone number or the Instagram is based on, you guessed it, the quality of your Instagram.

13:14 If you have an Instagram that shows a high value lifestyle, shows pre-selection, and if you don't know what pre-selection is, I strongly suggest you search my name as well as the keyword pre-selection or jealousy plot lines to learn all about it. If you have pre-selection, high value pictures, pictures that show scarce resources, pictures that show you're basically a tier one dude that other dudes are trying to be like on your Instagram, then you should exchange Instagrams with her every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

13:47 When my Instagram was pinned back before I settled down with my woman, Marissa, that's all I used. I hardly ever got phone numbers because I wanted her to see my Instagram. Why? Because it's basically a high value pellet that you stick into a dog treat and shove down her throat. She is seeing nothing but high value pictures, pre-selection. This guy's a tier one dude. It's doing all the attraction for you. Now, there's many programs out there that say, hey, I'm going to teach you how to have a tier one Instagram where girls are going to get attracted to you.

14:20 My question is, what are you going to do when you get that chick on the date? Fine, you have a good initial funnel to get girls into your pipeline, but then what happens once you actually have to text with her, talk to her, sleep with her, all these things that a lot of guys haven't worked on themselves enough to be able to achieve successfully. They think that I'm just going to set up my Instagram and it's going to get me laid. Bullshit. Instagram is one element of an entire structure where all your seduction elements have to be in place.

14:50 Most importantly, what's going on inside your head. Unfortunately, you can't just set up a sick Instagram and then girls just show up at your door, get naked, jump in the air and slide onto your dick. It's not how it works. So it always makes me laugh when these guys are touting these programs that's like, dude, I'm going to get you your dream woman, your solid 10. All you need to do is dial in your Instagram. Bullshit. You need to work on yourself. You need to fix the bullshit in your head.

15:15 You need to get game and frame, which is exactly what I teach. Now, combine my program with the solid Instagram, whether or not you got that through another program you purchased doesn't matter. Now you're cooking with white heat. You are getting the results because your Instagram is dialed and your game is dialed. So would I rather get the phone number or the Instagram? That answer that I hate hearing in Brazilian jujitsu, as well as a bunch of other sports is it depends. It depends on how dialed your Instagram is, how many followers you have.

15:48 Are you showing high value? Are you showing scarce resources? Are you showing pre-selection, you with other hot girls? If you have that, Instagram every day of the week and twice on Sunday. If Marissa broke up with me today, this is what I'd do. I'd get all my hot girlfriends. I'd go out for a couple of weeks and take 55,600,031 pictures and post them all to my Instagram. I would show scarce resources, me next to a helicopter or sitting on the hood of a Lamborghini, which I know sounds try hard.

16:20 But if you show those scarce resources, meaning you are a man who has access to those things that everybody wants access to, helicopters, certain hotels, trips to Dubai, you hike to the top of beautiful mountains. And it's just you out there with a mountain all alone in nature. Seems like you need a lot of money to do this, but you don't. You just need a strategy to set up a story, boys. And that's what Instagram is. It's a storyboard of you and your high value. You with really hot girls, not touching them, not making out with them.

16:56 In fact, you're just standing there and hopefully they're touching you. This is the way to portray high value. So in the conversation, you're like, hey, it was cool talking to you. I got to get back to my friends. Do you have IG? Most girls who are attractive have IG, and we want girls who are attractive. So if you're looking for a canyon mule or a girl who, when you're doing her doggy style, you smack one butt cheek, the wave goes across, hits the other butt cheek, comes back, and you can surf it on your surfboard, I'm not the coach for you.

17:26 If you want these big ass badonkadonk butts and girls who have armpits that are so frothy on the Stairmaster, you could fuck it. That's not what I do. I get guys hot chicks. Hot chicks have Instagram. Why? Because they want validation. They love the fact that you're liking their pictures and following their story and making comments, which I'm going to get to in a second. That's why hot girls are on IG. They're all there, brothers. So my strategy would be dial in my IG, take pictures with all my hot girlfriends, show that high value, even buy followers if I have to.

17:59 If I'm starting with like 231 followers, I might actually buy followers, which you can do. Don't email me about it. Just figure it out yourself. You can buy followers. I would suggest at least a couple thousand followers. Then boom, I'm getting Instagrams every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Then what happens? You say, hey, do you have IG? Yes, I do. Here, follow me. Okay. The second she follows you, she's going to go look at your pictures. She immediately is going to see, oh shit, this was an alpha I was just talking to.

18:30 Even if yes, your game wasn't completely perfect and she's kind of like, yeah, yeah, whatever. Give me your IG. Suddenly you're going up levels upon levels upon levels in her book. She's going to start seeing your stories, start seeing your pictures. The second she likes anything, comments on anything, you send her a DM. What kind of DM do you send her? Exactly as you do when you text her. It's the same damn thing. The only difference is the app of which you're using to contact her.

18:56 So you say, so hey, Kelly, I noticed something interesting about your pictures. Or so, hey, Kelly, I noticed something about you the other night when I was talking to you. So, hey, Kelly, I saw your ice cream truck going 150 miles per hour down the 25 freeway. I know you were late for Denver's ice cream man convention, but relax. You're going to kill somebody. Then she DMs you back. If and when the time is right, you move it over to texting just for the sake of convenience because texting is a little bit easier.

19:23 And now you get her on the date. What just happened? Your Instagram is doing all the work for you. So what's better to get, the phone number or the Instagram? Well, that answer, that is very annoying. I'm going to use here. It depends. If you have your Instagram dialed in, Instagram every day of the week. If you don't have a dialed Instagram, then go for the phone number. Some coaches will tell you that the phone number is harder to get because people feel that the phone number is kind of closer to them and they're more defensive about who they're going to give it to.

19:53 So if you get the compliance by getting the phone number, you might have a higher chance of getting texts back. But for all you listening who have not gotten texts back, many times when you've texted chicks, you know that's bullshit. Yeah, I got her phone number, but she just blocked me. That didn't really work. So if I had the choice between the two, Instagram every day of the week and twice on Sunday. But it has to be dialed. If you have a picture of you driving your mom's AYSO soccer van with AYSO soccer mom sticker on the back or a family of Ewoks on the back of your car showing what a happy family you are and you're like one of the little Ewoks back there, don't post that shit.

20:32 It's all about portraying high value. In today's age, boys, I want to tell you something really interesting. Today's age, it's all about the illusion of value. Do you know that there's fewer hot women in the nightclubs on a Friday and Saturday night than there used to be when I was coming up in the game in the early 2000s? Why is that? Because chicks can get their validation from Instagram. All they have to do is post pictures of themselves. They don't even need to go out anymore to get validation.

20:59 Some still will because they enjoy the nightclubs. They like dancing and drinking with their friends. And yeah, they want to meet a dude in person. But I'll tell you, there are fewer hot chicks in the nightclubs than there used to be. They're still there. So don't make an excuse because I know you guys love excuses. You're looking for every single excuse you can find. You'll be like, well, Mark Singh said they're not there. They're there. They're just not in the droves that they used to be because a lot of them get their validation from Instagram.

21:26 So where do you need to be? On Instagram, you idiot. This is the best place to pull girls. And when you're high value, they're going to reply more to your DMs. And by the way, the more followers you have, the more chances you have of getting into your DMs because you land higher in the DM list. Now, that whole followers thing, whether or not you want to buy them or get bots, it's a whole different conversation. One thing I will say on that is don't buy the cheap-ass bots.

21:54 Try to at least buy a package where you're part of a giveaway where somebody famous like Kim Kardashian says you could win this Ferrari if you follow all these people. And then all these random people will follow you because you're part of that contest. Don't write me about it. I'm not here to set you up with my guy who does that. Just do some research. That's the best way to get followers to your Instagram. They have followers like from Brazil, Venezuela, and you could really pad the number of followers that you have.

22:23 If you want to see how many followers a person really has, look at the engagement on their Instagram. How many people are watching their videos, making comments, and likes. You have a guy with like a million followers and he gets like a thousand likes on one of his posts. You know he's got a lot of bots or a lot of fake followers. But this is the world we live in, boys. You have to portray value even if, yes, you have to fake it until you make it.

22:47 This is going to get you laid. Instagram is the stronger way to get a girl attracted to you if, again, your Instagram is dialed in. I hope that helped you, gentlemen. You need to stay up with the times. You need to update your shit. And you need to leverage every opportunity given to you to your unfair advantage because there are tons of tools out there that you could use to get women even more attracted to you. Now, the big announcement. On July 26th, 27th, and 28th, that's Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

23:19 I am doing a Frame Control Masterclass, a two-hour exclusive event where you, me, and a few other brothers are going to get on a Zoom call together. And I am going to lay down everything I know about Frame Control, the single most important element of seducing a woman. We are going to do an early bird special starting on July 15th. That's Monday, July 15th, where you can get into this exclusive one-time event for only $97. Now, here's the kicker, boys. If you sign up to this event, you are also going to be enrolled into a three-week coaching program with me personally where you get to ask me questions.

24:01 You get to come to coaching calls where I'm going to coach you and the boys for three weeks. I'm going to give you content. It's going to be a mini course so you can get a taste of what my three-month coaching program is about. This is the sickest, most epic offer I've ever put on the table, and it is going on sale on the 15th. So you're listening to this on the 8th. You have one week to prepare yourself because I'll tell you, when I did my NLP Masterclass in January, it sold out in hours, not days, hours.

24:31 That's how quick it went. I kept having to add days to it because they kept selling out, but it's going to be the same thing with this Frame Control Masterclass, the single most important part of seducing a woman. And I'm going to teach it to you in a small group of like-minded men just like you. We're going to do it a little bit differently. You can ask me questions in real time. I'm going to call on guys. You're going to have an experience, and you can participate as much as you want to.

24:57 You can just sit on the sides if you want, or you can participate if you want. It's going to be the sickest masterclass I've ever put on. I'm so excited about this. I have so much gold to drop in your lap, and it's only going to be $97. I mean, bro, if you're so cheap that you won't even invest $97 into yourself, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. This is a no-brainer, and it's going on sale on July 15th. July 15th. I'll have the link in the podcast that I dropped that day, so make sure to come back for that, gentlemen.

25:26 I'm also dropping an awesome podcast on Thursday. Hopefully, starting then, I'll be back on video. We'll see if I can take that bright-ass light shining in my eyes after that concussion. And I cannot wait for you guys to experience this Frame Control Masterclass. It's going to be so sick. So stay tuned on Thursday. Definitely come back on Monday the 15th because that's when the link is going to go live for all my early birds, which, again, you're going to get enrolled into a two-hour VIP Frame Control Masterclass taking place on either Friday the 26th, Saturday the 27th, or Sunday the 28th.

26:00 Times will be revealed when that link goes live, and you will also be enrolled in a bonus three-week coaching program with me personally where you can ask me questions, come to coaching calls. I'm going to show you the power of my three-month coaching program, the creme de la creme, my flagship product, the 10-magnet facility where I'll load you in the front and you come out attracting women on command. So stay tuned, gentlemen. More announcements to come, more information to come, and I will see you in the next episode.

26:31 We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.