The Balance of Being Interested AND Indifferent When Seducing Women

0:00 Whenever I meet a girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence, because if she's not intelligent, then I know I have a chance. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to talk about the balance of being interested and indifferent when seducing women. You have to be both.

0:39 You have to be interested in her, but you don't care what happens. You have to want her, but you don't need her. And that's a major point. You have to bring energy to the conversation, give value. But if it doesn't go well, you don't give two shits because you know that you are valuable. So we're going to talk about that balance because I think this is probably the biggest reason a lot of guys get blown out when it comes to speaking to women is because they're too needy.

1:04 They're too invested in that conversation going well, too invested in getting a phone number, a text back, et cetera. And they can't just let it go. But then you have other guys who take this philosophy of outcome independence, not giving a shit what happens. And they go too far with it and they don't even try. And they put forward a foot that basically says, I care so little about what you think about me that I'm actually unattractive because of it. So it's a balance, boys. And that's the thing that's cool about seducing women is it's all balance.

1:34 You have to have a little bit of this, a little bit of that. You have to push her away, but at the same time, pull her in. You have to be hot some of the times and then cold some of the times. You have to be extremely interested, but at the same time, not give a shit, make her feel like she's number one, but you could totally live without her. So it's that really fine balance that I'm going to talk about today when it comes to being indifferent and being interested all at the same time.

2:00 So before I get into the content, I want to thank you guys sincerely for the awesome, spectacular reviews, particularly on the United States iTunes. If you guys have left me a review on iTunes, not only in the United States, but also in the but also elsewhere, and not only iTunes, but also Spotify, Podchaser, Player FM, anywhere, I sincerely fucking appreciate it. But those ones on iTunes recently have been absolutely phenomenal. You five or six dudes that have left the most recent ones, I sincerely appreciate it, man.

2:30 I get a lot of hatred as a dating coach, particularly on Instagram. I don't know if I've ever said this on the podcast, but I actually get death threats. So when the love comes forward, which 90% of it is love, but when that love comes forward, especially those like six to 10 comments that I got recently on iTunes, it's really appreciated because while I'm internally validated and I like what I do and I believe in what I do, it's also good to see that I'm changing your guys' lives and not only my clients' lives because I always get positive feedback from them, but also just listeners of podcasts who perhaps I'll never meet and I'll never get to work with.

3:05 So I sincerely appreciate you guys. If you leave me a review, email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I will send you three awesome programs. The Conversation Sniper, 150 Deadly One-Liners for Building Attraction, Guide to the Female Orgasm, Make Her Look Like a Screaming Demon That Just Got Hit With a Tornado, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. That's right, impress your friends, baffle your enemies. All right, gentlemen, so what is this thing, interest versus being indifferent? It's exactly as it sounds. You have to be interested, but you also have to not give a shit.

3:39 So how do we do that? Let's start it from the initial conversation, and I'm going to tell you about some rules that we keep when we're talking to girls, and we're going to do it all the way through the relationship where you're going to keep the upper hand. She's not going to leave you. She's probably going to fall in love with you, and if any women are listening that get butt hurt, I'm on the dudes team, okay? I'm the dudes coach, so go listen to some female coach because I'm going to have the dudes win.

4:04 That's why I'm here. But honestly, if you're a chick, just use the same shit on dudes, right? It works all the same. So let's start from the approach, gentlemen. When you first approach her, your vibe is, I don't care if I'm talking to you or any other chick. I'm a social dude. I'm going to give value because I'm so full of energy, so full of value, so full of good vibrations, like I talked about in the last episode. I'm going to give it to you, and if you don't like it, you're an idiot, and I'm going to take it to somebody else.

4:34 It's like you're a party, and you have so much overflowing abundance. Of good vibes. You got drugs, dude. You got cocaine. You got fucking everything that you can share with people, party favors, as it were, that if she doesn't want it, okay, no problem. You go share it with somebody else. So we're interested in the conversation because we're social creatures. Now, I know for a lot of you guys, you don't feel like at all a social dude, and to be honest with you, I'm the same way.

5:01 I know you may think I'm extremely extroverted, but the truth is I'm introverted with practice, talking to girls, going out to nightclubs, doing day game, going to bars, top of funnel ideas, all the stuff I teach for how to meet women in person as well as on the dating apps. You get used to it, bro. You build up that social muscle, and it's not nearly as exhausting. So when you go out, you actually kind of get addicted to talking to chicks because it feels good. So you have value to give.

5:31 You don't have to conjure it from the depths of your despair, seemingly trying to rise yourself out of the fucking grave after you've been dead for 200 years and go run a marathon. That's what it feels like to some guys to go do this shit. To open one girl feels like this monumental expenditure of effort. But as you get better, as you practice easing yourself into it like an old man into a warm bath, you get better at it, and it doesn't become as hard. So your frame is this.

6:00 I'm going to talk to you about what I want to talk about. We're going to have a good time. If you like it, cool. If you don't like it, I honestly don't give a shit. I'm going to go talk to somebody else. So that's the vibe. I want to talk to you just to talk to you. And yeah, you may be cute. I'm going to give you a chance to let me take your phone number. And if you're lucky, let me take you on a date.

6:23 And if you're really lucky, let you get this dick. But it's probably not going to happen for you. And right now, let's slow down a little bit. All I'm doing is talking to you because I want to see if you're interesting. That's the vibe. So the vibe is, I want to talk to you. But if it's not you, it's somebody else. So it's the, I'm interested in talking to you for the sake of conversation. And if it's not going to be with you, it's going to be with somebody else.

6:47 All right. Now we're talking to her and we're more interested in the conversation, as I just said, than we are in her. However, as the conversation goes and you learn more about her, what you guys need to do is kind of pretend that you're getting attracted to her once she's already getting attracted to you. This goes into what I teach called the 80-100 rule. You guys have probably heard me say this a hundred times, so I'm going to go through it quickly. What she gives you a hundred percent of, you give her 80 percent of.

7:16 So as you initially speak to the woman, we don't hit on them. We simply give value. We have frame, we have game, and we get them attracted to us. Once they're attracted to us, then we can fiend interest in them, meaning we can express interest or show interest in them. But in the beginning, we are only interested in the conversation. And again, if it's not with you, I'm going to talk to somebody else. We're talking. She becomes interesting to me. Now I'm kind of getting interested in her.

7:45 Only 80 percent of what she's interested in me, which begs the question, how do I know how interested she is in me? You watch her mannerisms. Is she asking you personal questions? Is she leaning into you? Are her toes pointed at you? Is she touching you, laughing at your jokes, asking you things about the future or what you're doing in the future? This shows interest. And now we can express interest back into her. But again, you are interested in her at this moment, but you will also drop her at the flip of a switch.

8:17 You are not needy in any way whatsoever. When you get her phone number, the vibe is, hey, you seem pretty cool. I'd like to get to know you better. How would you feel about tossing me your number? You never say, can I have your number? The most you say is, how would you feel about tossing me your number? Or why don't you toss me your number? Or hey, give me your number. If she's in high compliance with you, meaning that she's buying into your frame, she's following your lead, oftentimes I'll just hand her my phone and I'll be like, here, put your phone number in it, right?

8:46 Because women want to be led. And when they're in compliance, they want to be led there. But again, if she says no to your phone number, you're like, okay, no big deal. Why? Because you're dating four other chicks. You just got 20 other numbers tonight. So who gives a shit if you got her phone number? You literally do not care, boys. Now, in the beginning, a lot of you guys are going to have to fake this until you make it. But once you are pulling girls, you literally feel that way.

9:11 I don't fucking care because there's going to be a hotter girl than you with a better personality coming up in about two minutes. It's like a bus, dude. You're at the bus stop. Just imagine you're at a bus stop and every two minutes, a hot girl pulls up in a car and she's like, you want to get in? You're like, ah, what are you into? Oh, I'm into like anime. You're like, ah, I'm not really into that. So move along. Two minutes later, another one comes up.

9:36 You say, hey, what's up? What's your name? What are you into? What do you like to do? Oh, I really like to mountain bike. Oh, you do, huh? Cool. What else do you like to do? I like to watch movies and go out to nice dinners. Hmm. That's pretty interesting. What's your spiritual beliefs? Oh, I believe in God and I'm not really religious. I just believe in, you know, being a good person and love is all there is. And you're like, damn, dude, I fucking connect with the chick.

9:57 All right, toss me your number. Next, please. And then the next one comes up. It's a fucking conveyor belt, brah, where girls keep coming one after the other. I know a lot of you guys don't have that reality. You're lucky if you get like one date every six weeks. I get it. But once you get abundance, you become the selector. And it's such an important concept that works into this. I am the prize. You're the one submitting the application. I'm interested in you. But we have 500 applicants.

10:25 So I'm going to interview you, see what you got. And if you make the cut, we'll move you on to the next step. That's the process. And the next step is phone number. Hey, why don't you toss me your number? And maybe we'll catch up some other time. I don't give a shit if you give it to me. Because again, guys, the freaking bus analogy or the conveyor belt. You ever been to one of those sushi restaurants where the freaking sushis are going around the entire restaurant on plates and you just grab a plate of the one you want?

10:50 That's literally what it's like. And that's the perception I want you to have when it comes to chicks. I want you, but I don't need you. I'm interested in you. But if it doesn't go well, I don't give a shit. And initially, boys, you're not even interested in her. You're interested in having a good conversation with anybody who's around. Yeah, of course, you chose her because she's cute and you're sexually attracted to her. But you almost have to pretend that it doesn't matter. You're just interested in talking to anybody.

11:16 You're a social guy. You're giving value. And that's the balance of being interested and indifferent. When you're texting with her, do you think that if a guy is truly indifferent, when she doesn't text him back, he double texts her? Of course not. And this is why it works into my rule. Never double text a chick. Always wait either longer or as long as she waited in the beginning. In the beginning. Don't get this twisted. In the beginning. If she waits an hour to text you back, then wait like an hour and 15 minutes.

11:45 If she waits half a day to text you back, you're waiting half a day, bro. Because if you look needy, like you're more interested than you are indifferent, then it's going to get you blown out. And this keeps you looking indifferent enough not to get yourself blown out. In a relationship, I have something called the drop rule, which basically means I will drop your ass without a moment's hesitation if you fuck up or flex up. If you push my boundaries and you're disrespectful to me, you are done.

12:15 And this is called the drop rule. I've done a podcast about it in the past, but the basic concept is this, boys. You need to be mentally prepared to drop her without a moment's hesitation. You don't say this verbally like, oh, I'll drop your ass without a moment's hesitation. You show it through your actions. And all you need usually in your actions is simply to be prepared within yourself to do so. You don't even need to say, I'll drop you. Or you don't even need to say, if you don't like that, I'm afraid I can't help you.

12:44 There's the exit. Don't let the door hit you with the good Lord split you. You don't even need to say that because it's translated through your actions. But the drop rule states, I will drop you. I am expecting to walk around the corner and see that chick making out with another dude, and I'm okay with it. Until she catches feelings for you, do not let yourself go, boys. Take it from my own experience of having my heart freaking ripped out of my chest, thrown on the ground, stomped on, shit on.

13:10 And then she invites a sumo wrestler over to come shit on it. And then she lights it on fire. That's happened to me multiple times. And I don't want it to happen to you. So what do we do? We hold ourselves back until she gets sprung. We're willing to drop her without a moment's hesitation. And if she pushes your boundaries, you turn the car around. You say, get out. I'm not putting up with this. Or if she doesn't like something you're doing, such as talking to other girls, and she's like, I don't want you talking to other girls.

13:39 You say, hey, listen, I'm talking to them. I'm only having sex with you, but I am talking to other girls. If that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand. We should probably part ways. Part ways is a soundbite I use to tell a girl like, look, I will drop you. Going back to the drop rule without a moment's hesitation. If you don't like the way I'm rolling, I get it. In fact, I support the fact that you don't like it. You probably shouldn't like it, but I'm going to keep doing it.

14:05 So if you don't like it, there's the door. Don't let it hit you with the good Lord, split you. Kick rocks with your head down. Get lost, you fucking sea bass. You wouldn't actually say that to her. I'm just trying to make you guys laugh. But you understand where I'm coming from. Now, what I just talked about was a lot of push, right? Pushing her away. I'll drop you. I'm only interested in the conversation. If you don't give me your phone number, I don't give a shit.

14:29 I'm not going to text you nearly as much. But we also have to show interest. How much interest? Come on, boys, use that thinking cap. That's right. 80% of what she's showing us. Now, let me ask you this. True or false? When I, Mark Singh, I'm talking to a girl in the nightclub, who has seen me talking to a bunch of different girls, I make her feel like she's the special one. Of course it's true. How would you like it if you were talking to a girl who you knew had a line of dudes going around the block?

15:00 And I'll tell you this. Most hot chicks do have a line of dudes going around the block. And you were just one of those other dudes in her book. She's like, ah, you're okay. How would that feel? Not very good. How would it feel if you were the special one? You're the different one. You're unlike all these other guys. And you kind of got her attention. Not completely got her attention, but kind of got her attention. That's the vibe too. So what we do again, going back to the first conversation, is we go in, don't give a shit.

15:28 I'm here to talk to you. If and when she gets attracted to you, which she will, boys, especially when you come into my three-month coaching program and I teach you exactly how to attract these chicks on command, when she gets attracted to you, you show her a little bit of attraction. When you can tell she's pretty into you, you say, you know, you're different than these other girls. And oftentimes, dude, it's so funny. When you say to a girl, especially in a nightclub, you know, I feel like you're different than a lot of these other girls in here.

15:56 Is that true? She's going to be like, oh yeah, these fucking hoes, right? They're all the same. And it's funny because I say that same shit to every single girl and every single girl says the same thing back to me. Oh yeah, those fucking bitches are total hoes. They're all sluts and all this and that. They all say the same thing. But here's the thing. I make each one feel special. So when you go to get her number, you'd be like, hey, you know what? I usually don't do this, but here, toss me your number.

16:21 You're pretty cool. What you've done there is show her, hey, I usually don't do this. You made the cut. You told her to toss you her number because you have frame, you have authority, and you're doing it based on her attraction for you. And you also have the vibe that if you don't give it to me, I don't give a shit because chick, you saw me talking to all those other chicks. And this is why girls always say to me, how many numbers did you get tonight?

16:45 And I always say I got nine numbers tonight. One more and I would have had a full phone number. Thank you for that, Liam, my podcast editor. A couple sound effects do break up the monotony, I will say. So I don't give a shit. Yank her number. When I'm texting with her, I'm being charismatic. I'm being funny. On the first date, I'm dropping charisma bombs, telling stories, doing gambits, doing NLP frame control. I'm doing all that shit. Until she's showing good signs of attraction, then yeah, I show some signs of attraction back to her.

17:16 80%. Because there's a balance between being interested and indifferent. As she goes from being interested in you into being sprung on you, you too can go from being interested in her to being a little bit sprung on her. As she goes from being sprung on you to being in love with you, you too can go from being sprung on her to starting to fall in love with her. We're always a little bit behind her because I'll tell you, if you're ahead of her, she's going to blow you out.

17:46 And this is the balance between being interested and indifferent. I want, but I don't need. I'm interested in you, but more for the conversation. Yeah, I'll take your number if you want to throw it to me, but who cares if you don't because of the other buses coming. I'll text with you. And if you're interesting, I'll ask you to hang out. When we're hanging out, what do you have to bring to the table? Huh, that's pretty cool. Kind of getting more interested in you. But you know what?

18:11 If it doesn't work out, I'm okay with that. Now we're really dating and I'm like, look, I like you. I want this to continue, but I will drop you like a bad habit. And that's something I'll say too. I'll be like, listen, I know doing XYZ thing is not cool for you, but that's how I am. I really like you, Kelly. I'm having a great time with you. But if it's a deal breaker, this thing that I'm doing, then it's cool. We should probably just part ways.

18:35 And they'll always be like, no, no, I don't want to part ways because when you're willing to drop them, when you have that balance of like, I want you, but I don't need you, they always seem to stay. And boys, finally, this goes into your relationship. You want to want the girl. You want to support the girl. You want to even love her if she's already in love with you and you want to give her that 80% of what she wants from you. But make no mistake, boys, you know, you could get a new girl.

19:00 You know, you could drop this chick without consequence. If she fucks up, disrespects you, pushes your boundaries, or does something that to you is unacceptable. Such as you find out that before you met her, three weeks before you met her, she had a threesome with two other dudes. Would you be cool with that? That's something that you need to decide and that may come up. So you kind of always mentally have to be ready to drop these chicks. And I want to ask you a question.

19:25 If you were to drop a chick, would you have another one lined up? Would you have the ability to attract one on command? The reason guys get needy is because they don't often have another one lined up. They don't feel like they can attract another one on command. So they get needy for that one. They become too interested and not indifferent enough. But you have to have that balance. I'm interested, but I'm indifferent. I want, but I don't need. I want to stay with you, but I'll also drop you.

19:56 And this too is a really good philosophy on life. On anything you have. Your car, you should feel this way. I like this car. I love it, but I can get rid of it. Money. How many of you guys are this way about money? Here's my money. A lot of you guys hoard it and you're like, oh, I can't lose it. I can't lose it. But you should really be like, you know what? If I lose it, I'll just make more. I'll just get more. It's okay, right?

20:16 It's okay. You have to have that belief in yourself. So it's a balance of, I want, but I don't need. I'm indifferent. I'm interested. I'm in love with you, but I will drop your ass without a moment's hesitation if you fuck up, disrespect me, or do anything that I deem unacceptable in my woman because there's another bus coming and another one and another one or another freaking sushi plate, bro, with the freaking salmon eggs. God, it's disgusting. And I lived in Japan for four years, could never get used to that taste of the salmon eggs, yet the Japanese are just freaking lapping it down, bro.

20:52 They love the sushi, man. That's one stereotype that's definitely true. They used to have, I used to live in Osaka, Japan. They used to have literally a drive-through sushi place where you drive through on your bicycle. You pull up to the window on what's called a mama cherry. Mama, meaning all the mamas drive it. Cherry, like chariot. It's called the mama cherry, a little bike with the basket on the front. You pull up, you order your food, you pay for it, and you ride off with your sushi.

21:19 Swear to God, dude, the thing was right next to my house when I lived in Osaka. And that's what this is. It's one of those sushi joints where the freaking plates are just coming by and you pick up the one you want, you taste it, you don't like it, you put it in the trash and you grab the next one. That's how it works with chicks. You need to think abundantly and be indifferent while at the same time being 80% interested as she is in you. Gentlemen, I hope you got a lot out of this.

21:45 As I said, if you leave me a review on any of the podcast platforms, including YouTube, and my YouTube presence is growing thanks to some SEO champions that I've hired finally getting some real views on these videos, I'd really appreciate it. Leave a comment, leave a like, subscribe if you vibe, and just show me some love, gentlemen, and I will send you those three awesome programs, The Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, and Three Sacks to Build Massive Attraction in Women. Once again, my email is coachmarksingh at gmail.com.

22:16 Leave me that review and I will send you that stuff. I do appreciate you listening, gentlemen. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.