10 Terrible Pick Up Lines That Somehow Work

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you legends? Happy Monday. I hope the weekend treated you well. And today, we are going to go over 10 terrible pickup lines that somehow work. I've been doing a lot of more serious podcasts lately, especially the last one. So we're going to lighten it up a little bit. I'm also going to skip the blatant advertising about my three-month coaching program and jump straight into the content.

0:37 So first of all, gentlemen, it's extremely important to know that delivery is literally 99% of this shit. They're cheesy, but if you could do it with a smile on your face and you're kind of charming and you're in a good mood and you're feeling good, then they work. I have done every single one of these with success. In fact, there was about six months there where I was like focused on just cheesy ass lines because they crack girls up. I was having a good vibe because I was dating lots of chicks.

1:03 I had pre-selection. I had tons of options. I just had a good vibe. So I would do these cheesy lines. They would work. They'd crack open the set. But if you're insecure, you have weird body language, you're not sure about it, then it's not going to work for you. And that's the thing about opening lines. 99% of the time, the woman has no idea what you said to her because she's on her back foot. So as long as you're confident and you do the two most important things of opening a girl, which is have good energy, feeling good inside yourself, hopefully better than she feels.

1:34 And number two, having the right tonality where your tonality goes down at the end rather than up at the end, then you will probably get her attracted to you and you will probably crack open the set. So as you listen to these, you need to put it in the right context. You need to put it in the context of we're having fun. She's feeling good. You're feeling good. You're coming up with a smile on your face. You're just being charming. You're just messing around. And the entire point of these opening lines is to crack her up so that it cracks open and you can ask her other questions.

2:06 So really keep that in mind because yeah, these are terrible pickup lines, but they work because they're so terrible. So keep that in mind as I'm reading these off because it's very easy to fall into the one up trap where you're like, dude, that would never work. I'm so much better than this guy. I can't believe he's actually got a podcast that's successful because honestly, bro, if you don't understand how these would work, then you're probably not very good with women. And I hate to call you out like that, but it's true.

2:33 It's like every time I get an email from a dude who's like, bro, what you teach would never work. I'm like, dude, you suck with chicks. I don't even need to meet you. I don't need to look at you. I don't need to know anything about you. Just the fact that you don't understand why this would work tells me everything I need to know about you. So have an open mind. We're just fucking around. Don't forget, boys, girls just want to have fun. It's one of the most important adages you can remember when going to speak to women.

2:56 So let's jump right into it. All right. So the first one you want to avoid is, are you into fitness? And she's like, yeah. And you'd be like, how about you fitness dick in your butt? Okay. That one we're skipping. All right. These other ones we're going to get into. Number one, my buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the cutest girl in the bar. Want to buy some drinks with their money and you have a smile on your face.

3:19 Okay. So my buddies bet me, I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the cutest girl in the bar. You want to buy some drinks with their money and then you smile. So it's the delivery. And sometimes I would say my buddies bet me, I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the hottest person in this bar. I'm not really able to talk to myself. So you're next in line. Let's go buy some drinks with their money. What do you say? And oftentimes they're like, hell yeah, let's do it.

3:40 Sometimes they'll say, no, not interested. And you'd be like, all right, bye. And then you do it to the next girl. Remember, it's all about having a good vibe. It's feeling good. And something I neglected to say is you should probably be warmed up. What does warmed up mean? It means you approached and ejected. You talk to other people and you got yourself in the flow. I call it the flow state where you're just throwing shit out there. You're vibing, you're charismatic. And what is charisma?

4:07 It's leaving people feeling better from having met you. And where does that come from? As I said, the two most important things about opening a woman is one, do you remember? It's having good energy, just feeling good inside your body. If you feel better than she feels, then she is going to want to talk to you almost every single time. Why? Because we're always trying to get into a better state. And women particularly are externally validated. They get their state from outside themselves. So if you come up feeling good, you know, smile on your face, you're just bantering, you're fucking around.

4:39 She's probably going to talk to you. Even if you say you must be a beaver because I know you're dying for my wood, which is another one you shouldn't say. But honestly, I think you pull it off. If you have a good vibe and she's got a good vibe and you guys are just messing around, you kind of meet eyes and you go over there and you have a smile on your face and you're like, you must be a beaver because you're dying for this wood.

4:57 She might fucking like that, bro. I have said some shit to chicks that is so unbelievably cheesy and maybe even a little bit insulting. And they freaking loved it. It's like my opening line where I tap the girl on the shoulder and I'm like, hey, I just had to let you know, you are so unbelievably in my way. Would you mind stepping aside, please? And they just light up, dude, because they thought I was going to say, you're so hot, you're so attractive. And then I say, you're in my way.

5:24 They love that shit, especially if they're already attracted to you, which really helps these lines. Next one is, I was blinded by your beauty. I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes. And that goes out to my boy, Bobby, who literally is blind. He would say, I was blinded by your beauty. I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes. Love it. Next one is, which I've used many times. Hey, you can delete your dating apps now. I'm here. You say it totally confidently.

5:55 That one kind of have a wry smile on your face. When I say wry, it's W-R-Y. It's kind of like that smile that Edward Norton gives in Fight Club where it's like, I know what's up, little girl. You're going to love this. Here, let me take you under my wing and show you a good time, which is frame control, confidence in yourself and in your delivery. And if she doesn't like it, what I'll often do is almost look like I get distracted and look away and then just walk away.

6:21 It's almost like you're talking to her. She says something that just pisses in your river. What she said sprayed your face with shit mist and you just got totally distracted. You're looking elsewhere and then you just walk off like a zombie. I will do that all the time when girls don't react positively because it's like, yo, I'm the prize. If you can't get down with this fun, if you don't understand the humor in this, you're not even worth talking to. And I'm not going to even waste my breath saying, bye, have a good night.

6:44 Thank you. I'm going to be like, oh, what's this over here? And just walk off. Oftentimes I'll do that if they blow out these kinds of lines. I said this to a girl once. Oh my God. This is a funny story. I said it to her and she's like, um, I'm 17. And I was like, oh, my bad. Sorry about that. And I walked off. But I was like, hey, is your name Ariel? And she's like, no. And I was like, oh, because we're made for each other.

7:11 Like, I'm kind of smiling. And she just looks at me completely serious. And she's like, um, I'm 17. And I was like, I'm out of here. See you later. My bad. I was just practicing. I always practice on chicks. A lot of you guys have approached girls who are younger than you. It doesn't always go so well. Next one is, hey, just had to tell you, your hand looks really heavy. Let me go ahead and carry that for you. And then you can hold her hand. Have done that many times successfully.

7:38 If again, guys, you have good flow, maybe you have some girls with you and she's checking you out already. It's that vibe that you're bringing into it. Good vibrations, a great song by the Beach Boys and also something that you should always keep in your mind. Good, good, good vibrations. I need to feel good and bring that to her. If you're feeling good and you're with your boys and you have a good flow state going, you could be like, hey, hey, that looks really heavy. She's like, what?

8:04 You'd be like your hand. Let me go and help you carry that for a second. And then she's like, oh my God. And they'll buy into it or they won't. In which case you get distracted and like a zombie, you walk off without even acknowledging any kind of rejection. Gangster level shit. Next one is feel my shirt. Know what it's made of? Boyfriend material. And you could say that one with a completely straight face or a right smile on your face. The next one's the closed hand method where you walk over to her and you pretend like you have something in your hand that you're going to give her.

8:33 And you'd be like, here, here, take this, take this. And then she'll reach out her hand and open it, which some girls have some trepidation with it. It takes them a few seconds, but you're like, trust me, trust me, trust me, take it, take it. And then they'll put their hand out and then you grab their hand and they start walking with them. And you're like, so where's our first date? And that'll crack them up many times. I'm telling you guys, takes confidence, takes balls, takes good energy, and takes the right tonality.

8:55 If you have the wrong tonality, it's going to blow up in your face. But what's the title of this podcast? Is it 10 perfectly constructed lines that'll blow up in the set every single time? No, it's 10 terrible pickup lines that somehow work. And the reason they work is because they're so terrible. So please keep that in mind before you email me. Oh my hell, the emails I get sometimes. And guys, I got to say something. Check your fucking grammar. When you're going to email a coach, can you at least proofread it?

9:22 What's up, couch mark? Like half the dudes spell my name wrong. Couch mark. And they're like, I love the UAE. I'm like, it's the UMP. What kind of programs are you selling? Do you have any PDFs? And I'm like, no, dog. Like, can you please just look at my website first before you email me? Listen, guys, I always appreciate you emailing me. So I don't want to say I'm hating on you. But dude, proofread your shit. If you text a girl the way some of you email me, she's gonna be like, dude, this guy's an idiot.

9:50 He can hardly spell his own last name. He's like an unfrozen caveman who doesn't understand how to use technology. Don't be that dude. And by the way, coach is spelled C-O-A-C-H, not C-O-U-C-H. Couch mark sing, the greatest couch sold by a lazy boy in 2024. Next one. Hey, do you have a raisin? She's like, no. You'd be like, how about a date? And that one, you have a little smile and kind of wink at her a little bit. Works well. I've done that one many times. Next one is similar to one I said already.

10:20 Do you know what my shirt is made of? It's made of boyfriend material. Next one you guys have all heard. So cheesy, bro. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? Not really one that I'd use. This one I have used with a wry smile. I cannot stress that enough. Do you believe in love at first sight or do you need me to walk by again? And you can say that too with the deadpan or you can say with a smile. It's kind of your own vibe.

10:45 It's how you're feeling. But I'm telling you, if you're warmed up, you're having good conversations, maybe you yanked a couple numbers or you just had sex with the girl in the bathroom. You're going to deliver this perfectly and it works. It's almost like the less you care and the more you're in the flow and just throwing shit out there, the better shit works. I've opened a girl saying, hey, you might want to tuck in your ass. You almost killed three people with that thing. And she's like, I'm like, really?

11:09 I was expecting you to fucking straight slap me. I cannot believe she bought into that. It's just your flow, dude. You can say anything. I used to go up to girls and be like, hey, I tied my shoe today. Really proud of myself. Got it tied. Can you believe it? And they'll be like, that's cool. What's your name? I'm like, oh my God, these chicks, dude. It's all vibe. It's all delivery. Next one is kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? Get it?

11:37 Kiss me if I'm wrong. So not gangster, but it does work. Finally, the lint ball method. This one, I wouldn't slate into a terrible pickup line because I've actually done it many times. I want to leave you guys with one that's pretty good. All right. What you do is you go into your laundry and you get a bunch of lint out of the lint catcher thing. You get a big old lint ball, at least the size of a golf ball, maybe even the size of a baseball and you put it in your pocket.

12:07 Then you go up to a girl on the street and you're like, hey, excuse me real quick. Just had to let you know you've got something in your hair. I don't know if you knew that. It's right there. And she's going to reach for it. And you'd be like, no, no, it's not there. Do you mind if I just grab it for you? And she'll always say yes. And then what you do is you take out the lint ball with your right hand and you pretend to take something out of her hair and then you present it to her and you say, that will be $5, please.

12:29 And it always tracks them up. So boys, that's 10, probably more like 13 terrible pickup lines that somehow work. And I cannot stress enough. It's all about the vibe. If you vibe, they will subscribe. Finally, I have a funny thing that happened the other day. I wanted to tell you guys about, and then we're going to wrap this up. So I was telling my buddy about Kim Jong-un and how he has like 200,000 chicks in his harem. They're called pleasure squads or something like that. 200,000 is the reported number of chicks that he gets to just have sex with whenever he wants.

13:04 And my friend hears that and he turns to me and he's like, then why is he such an asshole? And we started laughing so hard because I'm like, it's true, bro. If you have a fucking harem of 200,000 chicks, would you be an asshole? I feel like you'd be a pretty lighthearted, happy dude because you're just getting your dick sucked dry literally all the time. But it also goes to show that getting laid isn't everything. But if you're not getting laid, it sure as hell seems like everything.

13:28 And I want you guys who aren't getting laid or aren't getting laid enough or aren't getting laid enough with the chicks that you really want. I really want you to up your game and experience that because just like me, maybe you have the motivation of not getting to the end of your life, ending up on your deathbed and regretting that you didn't have the balls, you didn't have the perseverance, and you didn't have the courage to get this part of your life fixed once and for all.

13:54 Gentlemen, I have a three-month coaching program. As I said on Thursday's podcast, we just had a masterclass. In fact, the masterclass has taken place on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and now today, Monday, and tomorrow, Tuesday. And in so doing, why do you think I'm doing the masterclass? Obviously, to teach the boys about the deepest level of frame control possible, but also, of course, to sell my three-month coaching program. Once these guys experience how gangster frame control is, how good of a coach I am, and they get to see the high-quality content that I reserve off my podcast, I'm going to try to get them to sign up for my program.

14:31 So obviously, boys, we are about to get a tidal wave of applications, and it's all first-come, first-served. Not only that, he who replies the fastest gets moved up in the queue. It's all tracked by AI, so the person who applies the quickest, replies to my emails the quickest, and does everything else the fastest gets pushed up in the queue, which the last time we did a masterclass was out to two months. So this is a public service announcement that says, if you want to explore working together with me in my three-month coaching program, making sure that you don't get to your deathbed and die with regrets of never having mastered this shit, I would suggest signing up now rather than later, because the tidal wave is a-coming.

15:09 I don't know exactly what's happening because I'm recording this, obviously, the week before, but I'm telling you, we are going to get a fuck-ton of applications. As I mentioned, the last time we did a masterclass, we were out to two-month waiting lists. Actually, it was nine weeks. So if you're interested, got to shit or get off the pot, gentlemen. The link is in the description below. We'd love to meet you. We'd love to take you to that highest level. All right, guys, I hope you got something out of this, if nothing more than just a good laugh, and I will see you in the next episode.

15:40 Good night.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.