My Top 3 Secrets to Literally Not Care What People Think of Me Anymore

0:00 You know, one of the most emotional moments I ever witnessed in my life is when my best friend came out of the building crying, overcome with emotion, and he kept saying over and over again, it's a boy, I can't believe it, it's a boy, and we knew at that moment that we should probably go to a different brothel. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen?

0:39 Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Happy Thursday. I hope the week has been treating you well, and I want to ask you, brother, have you been going throughout your life caring too much about what people think of you? I can almost guarantee for pretty much every single one of you guys, the answer to that is a definitive yes. You care, gentlemen, way too fucking much about what people think of you. You think they're thinking about you way more than they actually are.

1:06 You care way too much about outside opinions, and outside opinions is what you use to dictate how you feel about yourself. This obviously is what perhaps makes some of you unattractive to women and definitely makes all of us less attractive to women when we care so much about what people think of us. So what I'm going to do today, gentlemen, is I'm going to give you my three biggest secrets that I have used personally to overcome caring about what people think of me so that the only opinion that matters is my opinion of myself.

1:37 This has helped me so much, not only with women, but also in becoming happier in life. Because, dude, it fucking sucks when you're concerned all the time about what people are thinking of me. Do they like me? Do they hate me? What about my reputation? It's a really shitty way to live, and I think a lot of you guys are experiencing that. So we're going to go over that today. And I'm hoping by the end of this episode, you too will not give a literal shit about what people think of you.

2:02 Because, brothers, it absolutely does not matter. And I think these secrets are going to help you a lot. Before I get into the content, a lot of you guys know that I am doing a masterclass in two days, boys, the online dating masterclass based on four months of research with 11 guys sending over 13,267 messages, finding out what messages work, how to get girls on dates, how to absolutely close off the dating apps, even if, yes, you look like an unfrozen caveman or a guy who would be at the wrong end of a freak show experience, or even if you've had like okay results on them, but you want to improve your results, this is going to be an absolute game changer.

2:40 Guys, I'm not going to do this again. If you cannot come, you will get a recording of it. I have a money back guarantee if you're not absolutely blown away. I'm also giving four awesome bonuses, including templates of what to send chicks, 60 opening messages that have proven to work time and time again. And yes, all my absolute best ones are in there, as well as what to say to the prompts that they ask you, like, what do you do for fun? If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

3:07 All those bullshit prompts that they have you answer. I give you the answers to what to say to those, as well as how to break it off with chicks, how to set up the date, the word for word template that I give my clients. All those bonuses are included. Why you wouldn't come to this masterclass is beyond me. Get your tickets right now, gentlemen. I know some of you like to wait until the last minute. Well, this is it. This is the last minute. Grab your ticket right now.

3:31 It's the first link at the very top in the description of this podcast. Click that link. You can listen to this episode while you go through that page to see everything that's included. Grab your ticket right now. This Saturday, June 28th at 2.30 p.m. Mountain Time. And as I said, if you can't attend, you still will get a recording of it. This is going to be a game changer masterclass. I'm so pumped on this. I've been literally preparing this shit for four months. I have everything mapped out in my spreadsheet, in my PowerPoint.

4:01 It's going to be a game changer. So make sure you don't miss it. All right, boys, let's get into the content. First and foremost, gentlemen, did you grow up with supportive parents? If you did, that's probably a big reason why you're so concerned about what people think of you. Let me explain. What we do as parents, and I can attest to this because I have a five-year-old little girl, is we consistently compliment them. We consistently tell them, great job. Consistently tell them, you're smart. You're talented.

4:32 You're amazing. I do it myself, boys. Even as an NLP coach, I instinctively want to do this. My daughter's name is Lucia. She's five years old. She's about to turn six. I'm super proud of her. I love her so much. She's literally the thing I love most in the world. I would fucking die for this kid. If you guys haven't had kids, the feeling it gives you is like no other. I strongly suggest it. I will say this. Sometimes it's a hassle. Sometimes they will piss you off.

4:58 It's the most frustrating thing you will ever do in your life, but it's also the most rewarding. So as a father, I just naturally want to say it, dude. I want to be like, good job, Lucia. You're so smart. You're so talented. But what happens is this. They get addicted to the dopamine rush of outside validation, meaning she begins to become addicted to me telling her that she's doing a good job, not relying on her internal voices to tell her that she's doing a good job.

5:26 And therefore, we become reliant on the outside approval of other people, and then what happens? You guessed it. When we get older, we become reliant on what people think of us. Do they like me? Do they approve of me? Do they think I'm good looking? Do they accept me? Because our parents set that precedence. Our parents, by getting us addicted to their approval, basically set up the dynamic of needing other people's approval to make us feel good about ourselves. What do I tell you guys all the time about what you should be as a truly masculine man?

5:59 What I tell you is that you should be internally validated, not externally validated. Internally validated means my opinion of myself is the only one that matters. Let me ask you, brother, do you really feel that way? Be completely honest with me. Is your opinion of yourself the only one that matters? If you and I met and we were chatting, would you kind of care what I think about you? Would you be like, oh, I hope Mark Singh thinks I'm good with women. I hope he thinks I'm cool.

6:27 Be 100% down to the penny honest with me. You and I know the answer to that, not just with me, but with other people. You're probably too reliant on outside approval. And this could possibly be because your parents were too supportive, but it could also be if your parents were kind of hard on you. They told you you're not enough. They told you you're not good at XYZ thing. You're not smart. You're not talented. Therefore, you too are reliant on trying to get their approval because they've been telling you for years that you're an idiot or you're not good at certain things.

7:01 Therefore, you become unconsciously reliant on their approval. Well, when you can't get their approval, you start seeking it from outside yourself from other people. And when you get that approval, somebody tells you you're good looking, you're talented, or worst of all, you start winning trophies because you're good at a certain sport. And you get addicted to the trophies on the wall, approving of you and telling you that you're enough. This puts you in a bad state. You start caring about what people think of you. So that's tip number one, boys.

7:32 Most of us have been conditioned to care way too much about what people think of us. We've been conditioned to base our own self-esteem on what other people say about us or our reputation. Interestingly, this also goes back to tribal communities because if you think about it, in tribal communities, there was like probably a couple hundred to a couple thousand people. Your reputation and what people thought of you was important because it was literally tied up into your survival. If people didn't approve of you, they could exile you.

8:05 Suddenly, you're on your own. There's predators out there. The next thing you know, you die. We as humans have found out that the best way to survive is in tribes, in communities. That's why we're mapped that way is because with the community, we find safety and with approval, we find safety. So caring about what people think of you is kind of anthropologically natural. And one of the first steps is to forgive yourself. Hey, I care what people think of me because it meant my survival. And that's literally mapped into my lizard brain.

8:36 Lizard brain is the part of your brain that's developed through hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. So you are literally mapped to care what people think about you. When it comes to chicks, check this out. You're in a tribe of 200 people. You want to bang the little squall called Singing Sparrow. And Singing Sparrow is the girl of the head warrior. So you kind of hit on her or she catches you jacking off to her as she washes her clothes in the river. And she's bent over and you can see her perfect ass.

9:04 And she tells the head warrior, suddenly your fucking head is lopped off. You know what they did when they named Native Americans? They would name them based on the last thing that the woman who gave birth to the kid would see. It would be very unfortunate if your name was two dogs fucking. So with all that laid out, we understand that first of all, our parents fucked us up because they either approved of us too much or they didn't approve of us enough. And secondly, we understand that this is mapped into our brain by being in tribal communities.

9:35 By the way, the way that you should raise a kid, and this is what I'm doing with little Lucia, is I ask her, how do you feel about that? She shows me a picture and she's like, look, daddy, look at this picture. And I'm like, that's great. How do you feel about it? Do you like it? And I ask her all the time, do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? Are you confident? How do you feel about the fact that you rode your bike around the neighborhood and were able to do a complete turn in the cul-de-sac?

10:03 How do you feel about that? This creates the unconscious meta program where she begins to rely more on her own internal voices than those of the outside world. Guys, my daughter literally frame controlled me the other day. It was the most epic thing. I was like, Lucia, why are your shoes sitting there? And she's like, daddy, the real question is, why aren't you wearing your shoes yet? And I was like, dude, yes, this is my kid right now. She is going to be an absolute powerhouse.

10:30 I'm getting her internally motivated. And of course, I taught her that frame control concept. The real question is. But unfortunately, a lot of you guys weren't raised by an NLP coach who had your best interest in mind. And forgive your parents because no matter what they did, either being super supportive or super critical of you, they know not what they do. They were literally operating under their best system that they too learned when they were kids. So no matter what they did to you, it was out of ignorance and we have to forgive them.

11:00 That's the first step. Second step is to realize, okay, they mapped this inside my head. Do I want to continue choosing this for the rest of my life? The answer to that is obviously no, because as I tell you guys, you're going to be more successful, more happy, more at peace if you stop fucking caring what people think of you. And as I always say, awareness alone is curative. So now you guys know, you were messed up by your parents. Let that shit go because you should be internally motivated.

11:28 What is my opinion of myself? Now, the next thing is that let's say you're walking through an airport and you're really concerned because you see people, people watching. Because that's what we do when we're sitting there waiting for a fucking airplane as I did last week. I just went to Philadelphia and you have to wait for the airplane. It's like you could be on your phone or you could people watch. I prefer people watching. I think we use our phones too much. I try to stay off mine as much as possible.

11:52 So I'm people watching. And every single person I could see was caring too much about what people thought of them. You could just tell by the way they hold themselves. But here's the truth, boys, and this is one of the secrets. Most people don't give two shits about you. They don't even recognize your existence. They are caring about their own problems. They are thinking about their own insecurities. They're completely and utterly wrapped up in the thinking loop of, what are people thinking of me? So think about it.

12:24 If a bunch of us are thinking, what are people thinking of me? Are we thinking bad things about other people? Probably not. Most of the time we're like, oh, do I look fat in this? Oh, I hope my gynecomastia man boobs don't look like fucking titties as I'm walking through the airport. Or thinking about the past. I can't believe I said that. I can't believe my boss said that. How dare she say that to me? Whatever it is, people are stuck in their own heads. People are chronically thinking, boys.

12:52 And what are they thinking about? They're thinking about you. Are you so important that they're thinking about you, wondering about what Mike or Brian or Chris is doing? Fuck no. No offense, bro. But the only person who really cares about you is your mom. And if you're like me, your dad. Your dad and your mom, those are the ones who are thinking about you. Do you care what your mom thinks of you? Probably not. Unless some of you are really fucked up, in which case you need to come work with me, where we can do NLP on your head and release your need to be approved by your parents.

13:23 Most of us are like, yeah, my mom loves me. She supports me. But what I really care about is what that guy in the airport at gate 2A waiting to fly out to Dallas was thinking about me. Who fucking cares? Because dude at gate 2A was thinking about his own problems. Or at the very most, he's thinking about getting home in time so he can masturbate before his wife comes home. People are wrapped up in their own problems, boys. They don't care about you. And on that note, everybody's insecure.

13:52 Everybody who I was watching at the airport, I'm like, oh, yeah, I can tell. That guy's kind of insecure. And guys, really hot girls are sometimes the most insecure of all. And this is my next point. You think this chick with this angelic face, perfect tits, and perfect ass isn't sitting home literally all day just dwelling on that body part that drives her completely nuts? Like her nose is a little bit too big. Do you know how much effort she's putting into putting a makeup on it to make it look smaller?

14:22 Or like researching doctors to go get a nose job? Or like her butt isn't big enough? Or too big? Or she's too tall? Her legs are too skinny? Too fat? Whatever it is, hot chicks are sometimes the most insecure because they too are reliant on that external validation. Think about it. People are constantly telling them, oh, you're beautiful. You're so gorgeous. I can't believe your vagina looks like the gates to heaven itself. They're constantly getting complimented. So what happens? They start to rely on those compliments.

14:52 No longer do they feel internally validated. They don't really care what they think of themselves. What do other people think of me? And this happens to chicks on OnlyFans, Instagram, those girls who are on IG posting pictures of their ass. All they want is validation and they never get enough. It's kind of like drug use. Once you get a hit, you need more and more and more to validate you. Problem with women is their looks will often fade or you can only take so many pictures of your fucking butthole before it gets old.

15:23 And then the likes go down. And with it, their self-esteem goes down. So if you care what people think of you, you're setting up the same precedence of some Instagram chick who was born hot, never worked on herself, who you're giving way too much credit to, and her self-esteem is actually really low and she's relying on outside approval. Don't be that guy because not only is it unattractive, but it only results in more neediness. The next one, boys, is this. How many guys do you think are listening to a podcast like this one?

15:55 How many guys do you think go into like a three-month coaching program like what I have or even sign up to an online dating masterclass to improve themselves, to increase their results? I know how many listeners I have to this podcast and I know exactly how many tickets I've sold to this online masterclass boggles my fucking mind that more of you guys aren't doing it. A lot of guys are too scared or they think I'm going to rob them and they don't trust people or because they don't really believe in themselves.

16:23 They don't think I could get those same results. They think, yeah, maybe everybody else could, but I couldn't. And you're the kind of person who, even by listening to this podcast, and I know there's some of you who haven't signed up, and I'm a little bit butthurt about that, but I'll forgive you. But even by listening to this podcast, you are different from 99.99% of the population. You are working on yourself, brother. So few guys do that. So fuck what they think of you. The guy who's going to insult you because you approach a girl and get rejected is the same guy who would never approach that girl.

16:56 Every time a guy snickers at me, which happens very rarely, by the way, when I get rejected by a girl, I'm like looking at him thinking, bro, you don't even have the balls to do that. You don't even have the right to judge me. You're not the man in the arena, splattered with blood, with dirt between your teeth, having been knocked down dozens of times, and you refuse to quit. So you get back up and you keep going. He's not that guy. So who cares what he thinks?

17:22 People don't know what you've been through. They don't know what struggles you've had. They are not you. So their opinion doesn't matter. It doesn't count. So fuck what they think because they're not thinking about you. They're insecure to begin with, and they're not in this fight the way you are. They are not trying to improve themselves. And anybody who would judge you negatively does it because they feel they are lower than you. Nobody who is more successful than you are, happier than you are, would ever try to criticize you.

17:53 Here's something about me, and I feel like I'm a pretty successful guy. I kind of got life together in a generally good way. I don't judge people negatively. I do not hate on people. In fact, when I was in that airport, yeah, I was seeing that there were insecure people, but I was also like, dude, that dude's a champion. And more what I do is that dude's suffering. I feel bad for him. I hope he has a great day. And I'll send people love. I love you, bro.

18:18 I wish you the best, bro. That's what somebody who's successful does. So who cares what the minions say or the peasants say who are insulting me? It's because they're fucking peanut butter and jealous, bro, Tendo. Just the way they're peanut butter and jealous of you. Anybody who would insult you is threatened by you. Tall as poppy always gets cut. Or as one of my favorite quotes goes, when they're trying to take you down, it's because you're doing something right. And we could even quote the title of a book, What You Think of Me is None of My Business.

18:50 And that's what I want you guys to think. What you think yourself is the only thing that matters. So do you love yourself, brother? Do you approve of yourself? If not, it's time to do that internal work. Fuck what the masses are saying. Fuck what the peasant in the nosebleed section of the Coliseum is saying about you. As you're fighting on the floor of the Coliseum for your life, he doesn't have the right to judge you. And you will only be affected by what he says if you let it affect you.

19:18 You have the ability, brothers, to either let it in or say, nope, I'm going to let that go right over my shoulders. I get hated on all the time. I don't even read the comments. That's the best way to do it. If they're not there, then it's not happening. And here's the final strategy, boys. Perhaps the fifth secret. I don't know how many secrets I've dropped, but it's definitely more than three. Here's the secret. The entire purpose of life is this. Listen carefully. The entire purpose of life is to love yourself.

19:48 If you could get to the point where you love yourself, where you could literally look in the mirror and say, I love you, bro. I'm proud of you, man. You've done a great job, brother. You've been through hell and yet you refuse to quit. I love you, man. If you could say that to yourself, you have just won at life and everything that you want will come to you. Because a man who loves himself is so rare that society rewards it. Everybody else falling into the trap of caring too much about what people think of them, you're different.

20:20 You're the dude who doesn't give a shit about the nosebleed section insults. You instead only rely on what you think of yourself. And if I'm honest with you, bro, if you've listened this far 20 minutes in or whatever it is, you're a fucking champion and you deserve to love yourself. So the secret is to become your own judge and jury. You decide whether or not what you're doing and who you are is at a level that you can accept. And if it's not, then you fucking change it until it is.

20:50 And remember, boys, let go of the schemas that your parents set up within you, either approving of you too much or insulting you. That was their bullshit, their baggage. It literally has nothing to do with you. So guys, I hope this has helped you again, man. Those guys who invest in themselves, and I know who you are, who signed up to my program, are the guys who can truly be proud of themselves because they're trying to get to the next level where everybody else is just complaining and insulting others because they don't have the life they want to live.

21:18 I am going to reveal the secrets that we uncovered over four straight months of testing among 11 guys sending over 13,000 messages. And I'm going to reveal those secrets in two days. This Saturday, June 28th at 2.30 p.m. Mountain Time. Click the link in the description below. Read through the page. And again, boys, if you don't absolutely love it, I'll give you a refund. Nobody's going to ask for a refund because it's going to be so fucking gangster. But if you do, I'll buy it back from you.

21:46 No questions asked. All right, guys, I do appreciate it. Stay tuned on Monday. On Monday evening, I'm going to announce who the winner was from my Perks program to come into my Tier 1 three-month coaching program for free. I'm going to announce that, and I'm going to talk about that on Monday as well. I got a really good one set up. I hope you have a great weekend. Fuck what people think. Only love yourself. And that is the secret to your happiness and to your peace. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening, and I will see you in the next episode.

22:15 Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.