10 Reasons Why Self Development is The Best Thing You'll Ever Do

0:00 Uh, I just want to say it's been a great experience. This is not just, well, for me at least, this was not just a program to get girls, but it's like a fucking evolution. I feel like I've morphed into like a different Dante, you know, a whole different person. It's been great. Thank you, Mark. Everybody, you're fucking champions. You're going to do great. Mark is the fucking man. You're in good hands. He actually cares about you. Okay? That motherfucker, that long-faced motherfucker over there cares. Okay?

0:30 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What's up, boys? Happy Monday. I hope the weekend treated you well. And today, guys, we are going to talk about the 10 biggest reasons why you should continue on your path of self-development. If you're listening to this podcast, you already are on this path, so I want to congratulate you and corroborate what you're doing is exactly the right thing, man. I mean, self-improvement, self-development, trying to fix myself has been the absolute best decision I've ever made in my life.

1:17 And I kind of see my friends, and this might be true with you too, from childhood who really didn't do that, who are kind of just coasting. They're lazy. They're not really into this stuff the way you and I are. And their lives kind of suck. You know what I'm saying? Like, you probably have a friend like that too, who just kind of does the same shit every day, works the same job, isn't really trying to improve himself, watches Netflix, masturbates to porn, maybe smokes pot, eats like shit, looks like a chicken McNugget with tits, looks like a fucking muffin top, and he has gynecomastia, some man boobs.

1:49 And you're kind of like, bro, like, what are you doing with your life? I'm telling you guys, self-development is the most important thing. And if I'm honest, I kind of feel like I'm more of a life coach than I am a dating coach. Obviously, the dating is really a big part of what I do. It's the main part of what I do. But oftentimes, what I tell clients when they first come into my program is that this is a life-changing program, and therefore, I'm more of a life coach.

2:14 I do NLP, neuro-linguistic programming. I work on trauma, schemas, bad belief systems to remap the brains of my clients, and that's why they get the best results. So what Dante, my client, who you heard at the beginning of the show said, is absolutely true. I care about my guys. They always improve their lives because, yeah, getting girls is great, and of course, I'm going to teach you every single trick I have when it comes to that. But really, and ultimately, having discipline, dealing with your bullshit, going after your traumas, et cetera, is the most important thing, and that leads to the biggest amount of happiness.

2:49 A quick announcement before I jump into the content. I've been doing a perks program where I've been asking you guys to tell your friends about the program, post on Reddit, on Facebook, on Instagram about my podcast. And if you do that, I will give you certain perks. Well, one of the perks is that you get enrolled into a drawing to win entrance into my three-month coaching program. Well, that drawing is taking place tonight, June 30th. I'm going to do it at 8 p.m. Mountain Time. Mountain Time, if you don't know, is two hours ahead of Pacific Time and I think two hours behind East Coast Time.

3:24 But you can look it up real quick on Instagram. It's at Coach Mark Singh. I'm going to do an Instagram live. I'm going to do a little bit of coaching, and then I'm going to do the drawing to reveal who it was that won free entrance into my life-changing, game-changing three-month coaching program. And again, that's going to happen tonight. Just show up to that. Also, if you want to learn more about the perks program, perhaps enter the next drawing. I'm going to do that in July, August, September 30th.

3:53 So I do it every three months. I'm going to draw the next guy, which again is free entrance into my three-month coaching program, included with all the other perks I send you when you help me out. Even if you leave a review, subscribe to my show, hopefully do more things like tell friends about my podcast. I do certain things for you that, in my opinion, are more than what I ask for for you to do for me, which was a really hard sentence to say. And therefore, I think you guys should all do that, and you get enrolled in that drawing.

4:23 So if you kind of want to meet with me, chill with me tonight, check out Instagram live at 8 p.m. Mountain Time, and I am going to reveal who it was that won entrance into my three-month coaching program. All right, boys, let's get into the content. We got a lot to get through. So first of all, the first reason as to why self-development is the most important thing you'll ever do is because obviously you build self-respect. When you do what's hard, your life will be easy.

4:49 When you do what's easy, your life will be hard. And part of the reason your life is hard is because when you're slacklining it, when you're a fucking idiot and a goddamn corn sloth, you don't have self-respect. You're sitting on the couch masturbating with fucking Doritos in your belly button from the entire bag you just ate as you watch six episodes of Netflix, binging on transient sense gratification. Transient, short-term, sense, sensory, gratification. Being gratified, you don't have self-respect. And this is a big reason guys have low confidence, low self-esteem is because they don't give themselves something to look up to.

5:26 Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from doing the hard work. And here's a secret, boys, when you work hard, when you embrace the suck, and when you go into pain willingly, you are rewarded in ways that I cannot even explain. The universe is built to reward hard work. The universe is built to reward self-development. And that alone is the biggest reason why self-development is the smartest thing you'll ever do is because you constantly get rewarded with dopamine hits, harder girls, more money, and yes, more self-respect.

6:00 Number two, you feel in control of your life. A lot of people are drifting through life like a fart on the breeze. And when you live that way, chaos breeds anxiety. When you have too much uncertainty because you're not really taking the reins of life and grabbing the bull by the horns, as it were, you feel chaotic. You don't know what's going to happen. Tony Robbins said something that I really like a long time ago when I went to one of his seminars. He said that every person needs a certain amount of certainty and a certain amount of uncertainty.

6:29 So what you need to figure out is how much certainty do you need to feel happy and how much uncertainty do you need? I remember I really wanted my life to be uncertain when it came to women. I was always excited about the next girl to get into my bed, excited about perhaps the next girlfriend I was going to get or how hot she was going to be while having sex with her. But now I really like certainty. I want to know that my woman is there.

6:55 She's got my back. We're a team. We're a family. And that's become more important to me. So as your life changes, your level of certainty versus uncertainty also changes. But when you have discipline and when you go into self-development, you have way more control over that because, again, you're willing to be proactive and take the course that you want to take in your life, creating your life the way you want it to be rather than being just a victim of it or being at its whim.

7:22 All energy flows according to the great magnet. What a fool I was to defy him. You ever see that movie? It's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the funniest fucking movie ever written. But it's kind of true. Energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet. You need to take control. And when you're self-disciplined, you can steer where that magnet is going to push you. And therefore, be calm in the storm of chaos because you are at the helm steering the ship, not getting tossed around by the waves of circumstance, but instead going into those waves with a full heart, self-respect, self-discipline.

7:58 Number three, progress equals purpose. One of the most important things that I could ever teach you is that you, brother, need to have purpose in order to be happy. Now, here's a big secret that I wish I learned a long time ago. Your purpose is wrapped up into your passion. What are you passionate about? What gets you up in the morning? Even if it seems like you couldn't make a dollar doing it or you couldn't help humanity doing it, I guarantee you there is a way for you to help humanity make money and be happy doing your purpose.

8:32 So you need to know, what am I passionate about? And when you find that passion, you develop yourself in the most optimally way possible to execute on that passion effectively, just as I have as a dating coach. I've always known that being a dating coach and also, yes, a life coach was my number one passion. I've always wanted to do it. And though I failed for literally a decade, I look at those failures as building resilience, building my self-development, building my ability. The ability to take the bullshit, because I'm going to be honest with you, as an entrepreneur, there are mountains of bullshit that drop on my shoulders every single day, but I can hack it.

9:12 I'm bigger than my problems. And the reason that is, is because I followed my passion, knowing it was my purpose. The universe, knowing that I needed resilience in order to not only be a good entrepreneur, but also relate to you guys who are struggling, gave me a mountain of bullshit to deal with. I did not fucking quit. I will never quit. I am never out of the fight. And that's what I kept telling myself. And eventually the gates opened and now I'm extremely successful. But the reason I feel I'm successful is because I continued to follow my purpose, even when seemingly society and yes, even the universe was telling me that I shouldn't.

9:50 I just kept following my passion. And if you do the same thing, following your passion of self-improvement, following your passion of trying to get to the next level and or whatever it is that you're passionate about, you will succeed. Because purpose equals progress and the forward motion of going after something that you're passionate about will give your life meaning and meaning always equals happiness. Number four, confidence becomes earned, not faked. You guys have seen fake confidence. You've seen people who feel entitled because, say, for example, they're born into a fortuitous situation such as being born with money.

10:29 Did you guys ever see the documentary about, I think it was like rich kids on the East Coast or something like that. And they're interviewing these kids and they have a lot of confidence, a couple of guys specifically that I can really think of, who have this golden spoon up their ass, who feel like they're somehow deserving of it, but they never earned it. They were just given it. When you're given success, say, for example, you win the lottery or something to that effect, you do not have self-respect because you did not earn it.

10:58 I'm going to go on a limb here and talk about Dan Bilzerian. I believe that Dan Bilzerian is a fraud. And the reason I believe that is because I've watched a lot of videos about him. But more importantly, I just look at his body language and how he carries himself. This might be controversial, but hear me out. His dad was found to have made millions and millions of dollars like swindling people or doing something illicit and illegal. What I believe happened is his dad gave him all that money.

11:25 He's basically a trust fund baby. And because Dan Bilzerian felt shame about what his dad did or wanted to cover for his dad, he said that he won all his money playing poker. Now, I'm a little bit into watching gambling and watching poker, and there's very little evidence that he's won that much money. He said he's won like tens of millions of dollars playing poker. There's very little evidence of that. And guys who make that much money, like this really famous gambler, Mickey Mays, I think is his name, they're very much in the public.

11:54 You can see video of them playing poker. There's a lot of evidence of their earnings. They'll show you receipts. They'll show you invoices. They'll show you their login information into MGM and how much they've won through the year. Dan Bilzerian doesn't talk about any of that stuff. But what makes me doubt him the most is that I feel like just looking at him, he kind of looks like he's depressed. And there's a little bit of shame, in my opinion, behind his personality. It just seems like he's always trying to avoid the money conversation.

12:22 It seems like he's just kind of bummed out. And I believe the reason that is is because he didn't earn what he says he earned. So he's kind of living a lie. Now, this is just my opinion. Maybe I'm completely wrong. But I fully believe when you don't earn what you have, your confidence is faked. It's not genuine. Now, don't get me wrong. Dan Bilzerian is a fucking badass. He got through SEAL training. He even got through hell week. He bangs tons of chicks. He's got tons of game.

12:48 Believe me, the guy's a champion in a lot of ways. But I believe he didn't earn his money. And there's just my belief. If you disagree, that's fine. I don't want to talk to you about it. But I believe because his dad gave him that money and he has to basically lie about how he did it, playing poker is his story, which I totally don't believe. He has that sense of shame. He has that slight feeling of less confidence about his own accomplishments as a man.

13:11 And therefore, his confidence was not earned. When you're willing to step into the fires of self-development, which is what you're doing right now, listening to a podcast like this one, your confidence is earned. It's not faked. And that is lasting confidence. And by the way, women pick up on this as well. That's why a trust fund baby, like that documentary about those rich kids in New York City or whatever it was, you could tell those dudes wouldn't pull girls. They feel entitled. They feel above you.

13:39 Because why? My dad is the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. That's not good enough reason. You have to build that self-inherence, that sovereignty, that confidence within yourself because of persevering through adversity, earning that shit. And then you get equal confidence delivered to you based on all the shit you went through. The reason I'm very confident is because I failed for 10 years. That failure of 10 years was a gift to me. The adversity, all the hard nights, all the times I fucking flipped over my desk because my seduction business wasn't succeeding was a gift to me.

14:14 Showed me how to be resilient. Gave me the confidence of having persevered through adversity to really earn it. So you being in self-development the way you are, brother, you're earning that shit. And I respect you for it. Number five, you stop comparing yourself to others. As I talked about in my previous episode, what you think of me is none of my business. I don't give two shits because you haven't been through what I've been through. And I'm talking for you, brother. Nobody has been through what you've been through.

14:42 So when you actually earn your confidence through self-development, doing what's hard because you know it'll make your life easier, you stop needing the approval of others. You stop comparing yourself to others because, brother, you're on a different fucking level. You're on the level of self-development, perseverance, sovereignty, self-inherence, freedom. You know it comes from within. You can't get it from anybody else, so you're no longer externally validated. Fuck what they think, as I talked about in my previous episode. Number six, discipline helps you delay gratification, which equals actual joy.

15:19 Again, when you do what's hard, your life will be easy, such as working out, eating right. Yeah, eating right fucking sucks when you see all your friends at a party blasting beers and eating chocolate chip cookies like they're eating out some chick's butthole. But then they feel like shit afterwards. They wake up with a hangover. They look like the chicken McNugget with tits or a potato standing vertically with a bathing suit on it or a turnip standing there with a little penis on the thing. That's the way they look because they don't have discipline.

15:50 You, on the other hand, discipline yourself. You sleep enough. Perhaps you meditate. You work out. And what's the gratification from that? Feeling good. Looking good. Being vibrant. Healthy. Girls jocking you because your testosterone and immune system are up as high as possible. Discipline is acting on your higher motives, which means being healthy, being in shape, working out, being a fucking legend. Whereas the opposite of discipline, gratification, is acting on your lesser motives. Eating that chocolate chip cookie like you're eating out a hot girl's butthole. Shotgunning beers.

16:27 Sitting on your fucking ass. Binge watching Netflix as you eat Doritos out of your belly button because you're a lazy corn sloth. Discipline equals deep fulfillment. Discipline equals freedom. As Jocko always says, one of my favorite quotes from him. I actually have a shirt that says that. Discipline equals freedom. The freedom to be healthy. The freedom to be vibrant. The freedom to date the kind of girls you want. Make the kind of money you want to make. And the freedom to be confident in yourself. To love yourself.

16:57 Respect yourself. Which is one of the most important things you will ever achieve with self-development. All right, number seven, you attract better people. Goes without saying, boys. When you up your vibration, when you up your standards, when you become a tier one dude, you attract tier one dudes. And you know what else you attract? Tier one chicks. A girl who's high quality, who too works on herself and who's hot as fuck because she takes care of her health and she eats right, wants a tier one dude.

17:25 You got to be a 10 to get a 10. Even if it's only in your own mind, the most important place it should be, you have to feel like a fucking 10 before you can get a 10. When you become a high-level person, you attract high-level people. You attract more money, more success, more happiness. And more importantly, more peace. Number eight, you get emotional resilience. Just like I was talking about, boys, all the failures you've had. And I know all you guys have had a lot, has built resilience. So be happy about those failures.

17:58 Thank those failures. Because all the bullshit you've been through has made you resilient to the mounds of bullshit that are coming for you. And don't get it twisted. You can never arrive to a place where your struggles are done. The better question is, how can I choose the struggles I want to have so that the universe doesn't give me the struggles that it feels I need to learn the lessons I need to learn? Because here's the point of life. The point of life is growth. And if you refuse to grow, sitting there watching Netflix, working a shitty job as you eat Doritos out of your belly button, the universe is going to make you grow by giving you challenges, by giving you BS to deal with.

18:38 But when you choose the BS, yes, that means embrace the suck. The universe is like, okay, this dude's doing the work for us. He's growing on his own. And here's the difference. When the universe serves you bullshit because you're a corn sloth, it fucking sucks. And oftentimes, you don't even learn the lesson. But when you choose the lessons yourself, being disciplined, working out, eating right, being a good person, doing the right thing in tough situations, the universe usually rewards you with more abundance. Hotter girls, more money, more happiness, more peace.

19:12 Do what's hard and your life will be easy. Do what's easy and your life will be hard. You guys are listening to this. I'm giving you a lot of difficult truths, yet you keep listening. You are the kind of guy who's doing what's hard right now. Rather than listening to some audio book about some smut like Fifty Shades of Grey or wasting your time watching Netflix, you're listening to this shit. A lot of you guys are exercising right now, working out or working a tough job so you can feed yourself and your family and maybe even go on after promotion in said job or putting money away so you can start your own business.

19:46 That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Discipline equals freedom. Number nine, you earn your peace. You sleep better. You worry less. Not because life is easy, but because you know you are handling your business. I absolutely love that. And number 10, boys, you become proud of who you are. Here's the most important thing about life, and I said it on the last episode. You need to learn to love yourself. How do you love yourself? You first need to respect yourself. How do you respect yourself? Go into self-development willingly.

20:18 Be disciplined. Again, do what's hard. Your life becomes easy. It becomes easy to love yourself. I want to give you a challenge. Can you look in the mirror tonight and say in your own eyes, I love you, man. I'm proud of you, brother. I think you guys have already deserved that, especially if you're listening this far in. But if you haven't, then continue on the path of self-development. And as Dante said, that guy who was talking at the beginning of the show, talking about my long face, which I used to be insecure about, but when he said it, it got a good laugh out of me.

20:50 What he said is, this was the best money I've ever spent in my life. Because it grew me as a man. And if you guys haven't been able to achieve what you need to achieve just by podcasts like this one, by trying to develop yourself via diet, exercise, and everything else, I have a program that goes frontally into all the bullshit that you've been dealt in this life to deal with your traumas, metaprograms, bad belief systems, bad ways of thinking, archetypes, and schemas that aren't conducive to your success.

21:21 Discipline is doing what's hard, knowing your life will be easier after you do it. And that's the exact essence of my three-month coaching program. And yeah, boys, I do care about you. Because my purpose here is, once again, I am a life coach. I am a dating coach. And every time I get that success, as hard as it is sometimes to drag my clients across the finish line, kicking and screaming, every time I see their success, their smile on their face, the dopamine rush of self-development, that's where I get my fulfillment, even though it's hard.

21:52 So if you want me to drag your ass across the finish line, kicking and screaming too, you know what to do, man. Just click the link in the description below. Apply to my three-month coaching program. If you're not ready for that yet, then at least do me the kindness of going onto my perks program page. Do one of those perks, either telling friends about it, leaving a review, posting about it on Reddit, whatever it is. I will send you all the cool shit that's listed out on that page.

22:17 And you'll get enrolled into a drawing to win a free ticket into my three-month tier one NLP-based custom dating program. And finally, boys, don't forget tonight at 8 p.m. Mountain Time, I'm going to do an Instagram Live. I'm going to pop on Instagram, do the drawing, and see who won entrance into said three-month coaching program. The absolute best program ever created to turn men into bonafide girl magnets, but perhaps most importantly, to make them happy and have self-confidence again, because you too deserve that. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening.

22:52 As a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. Come back for Thursday too. I got a really good one. I already have all the notes blasted out, ready to go. It's going to be sick. So please make sure to stay tuned for that. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.