My Proven Step-by-Step System For Seducing a Woman (From A to Z)

0:00 I am going to explain my step-by-step structure to attract a woman and everything you need to do. So what I have in my coaching is called the four pillars of attraction. The four pillars of attraction are frame control, value, sexual attention, qualifying. And if you don't know what frame control is, congratulations, because that might be the single element you're missing that will make you better with women. The Unapologetic Man Podcast. Do you know why guys get labeled as creepy when they approach women? It's because they're getting sexual way too quickly.

0:36 They are showing too much interest. They are showing too much sexuality, leaning in too much, being so happy. It's like all their Christmases have arrived on the same day, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, basically acting like a woman acts when she's attracted. Guys, this is absolutely the wrong move. In today's episode, I'm going to explain my step-by-step structure to attract a woman and everything you need to do so that first of all, you get her attracted to you. But perhaps most importantly, you don't get labeled as creepy and you don't get blown out so hard when the concussion hits, it blows the mustache off your best friend's face.

1:13 So first and foremost, boys, we have to understand that we do not hit on women until they're attracted to us. We simply go in and give what? That's right. Frame and game. And what that means is we are controlling the frame. And if you don't know what frame control is, congratulations, because frame control is literally the most important thing in seduction. And the reason I say congratulations is because that might be the single element you're missing that will make you better with women. So if you don't know what that is, go listen to any and all my episodes with frame control in the title.

1:45 You will be well taken care of. The next thing we do is what we call game or what I like to call value. Value is basically entertaining her in the conversation, being interesting, making her laugh, keeping her intrigued, keeping her off what I call her inner balance point, and basically eliciting emotions inside of her. But the most important thing in my framework is, again, we do not hit on girls. We do not show any interest whatsoever beyond interest in the conversation until she's attracted to us.

2:17 So what I have in my coaching is called the four pillars of attraction. For those of you who have been listening for a long time, you know about this. But if you're new, I'm going to go over it briefly. The four pillars of attraction are frame control, value, sexual attention, qualifying. Before she's attracted to us, we only do the first two pillars of attraction. Which are frame control and value. Frame control, yet again, if you don't know what it is, go listen to my episodes. But a very brief explanation is that you are leading the conversation.

2:48 You are controlling where the conversation is going. And you are taking that little girl under your wing and showing her a good time. The dynamic is basically like, hey, hey, hey, little girl. I got this. Follow along with me. I'm going to show you an awesome time. And I'm going to elicit emotions inside of you, which I know is exactly what you want. Guys, why do you think women go out to nightclubs and get all beautiful? Do you think it's because they can go hang out with their friends and dance to music?

3:15 Yeah, maybe 25% of the reason is for that. But 75% of the reason, and I know this because I have talked to tons of hot girls and I have hot girlfriends, 75% of the reason is so that they can get checked out by dudes, get attention by dudes, get emotions by guys. Because as I always say, the feminine is externally validated, which means women get their validation from outside themselves. Instagram likes, people checking them out in their day-to-day activities and or going to nightclubs looking super damn hot so that they can get attention from boys.

3:51 Well, in that vein of thought, we understand that women get their state. And when I say state, it's like the state they're in from outside themselves. So what they're doing is they're going out to nightclubs hoping that not only a lot of guys will check them out, but that they'll meet a guy who's entertaining, a guy who elicits emotions in them, a guy who makes her feel like she's a little girl again, having a crush on little Jimmy in third grade and all those butterfly feelings inside her stomach, that's what she wants.

4:21 What she doesn't want is some super thirsty dude approaching her, being way too eager, being way too excited to talk to her because the last time he talked to a hot girl was in the 1900s and a dude who goes sexual before she's ready to go sexual. Now, here's something that gives a lot of guys an aha moment in my coaching. I always say that you are the leader, but you always have to lead women to where they want to be led. And what that means is in a way, she's actually leading it because it's up to her attraction when you take her to the next step.

4:56 So what we basically do is we go in, not caring about what happens, that's a hugely important one, we go in controlling the frame, taking her to where she wants to be led, eliciting emotions inside of her, then only when she's ready do we go to number three and number four in the four pillars of attraction, which again are sexual tension and qualifying. This is where I derive the concept of the V-CUT protocol. And when I'm holding up my hand, for those of you listening on audio, I have four fingers up, what I'm doing is the we come in peace sign or the thing that Spock did on Star Trek, where it's like he's making a V, his first two fingers are together, and then his last two fingers are together, and there's a V in the middle.

5:39 Very hard to explain, but I think I did a good job. That's called the V-CUT protocol. And the reason I do this is because the first two pillars are when she's not attracted yet. All we're doing is frame, game, frame, game, frame, game. All we're doing is just dropping value on this chick. We're not complimenting her. We're not even expressing any interest whatsoever beyond interest in the conversation itself. We don't want to come off as thirsty. We don't give a fuck what happens. We're just talking to her because we're a social guy.

6:06 She looks interesting. The most will compliment her. In the beginning is say, hey, I thought you were cute, had to come meet you. What's your name? Or, hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to come over here and see if you were interesting, which lays down the premise. Hey, I don't know you yet. Let's see what you got. And then you're interesting in the conversation. You're leading the conversation. But again, in a weird way, she actually leads it. And this is the big aha moment that a lot of guys have because they understand that we don't escalate until she's ready to escalate.

6:38 Hence the V cut protocol. The reason there's the V in the middle between frame and game and sexual tension and qualifying is because we don't go there until she's attracted. And sometimes for ease of memory for my clients, I often say that the V is kind of like a vagina. Her vagina is getting wet. She's starting to feel something for you. Now you can go into sexual tension. But let's go back to frame and game. So what you're doing is telling stories, doing techniques like cold reading, asking her emotionally driven questions such as what was the best day of your life?

7:14 What would you do without any chance of failure? What would you do right now if you could travel to anywhere in the world? Who would you have lunch with if you could have lunch with anybody throughout history, alive or dead? In addition to that, we do things like hypo stories, role playing, teasing her, false disqualifiers, push-pull, which I just talked about in a recent episode, the three-part answer to when she asks you obvious questions. Again, I talked about that in a recent episode. Storytelling, which I mentioned, but is so critical.

7:44 And I'll probably do another episode on it because that tells her about you, elicits emotions. But are you hitting on her? No. So many dudes go in and say, oh, I love your dress. It's so sexy on you. Why don't you have a boyfriend? How come you're single? Like, why are you out here? And it's like all their Christmases have arrived on the same day. They're giving an ear-to-ear smile like their fucking smile is wrapped around their head and held in the back of their head with the goddamn rubber band, showing all teeth glimmering in the sun.

8:13 So stoked because the last time they talked to a hot girl was like 15 years ago. Guys, we don't want to telegraph that we're attracted to her in the beginning. We're simply telegraphing that we're interested in talking to her. Hey, you're a person. I'm going to talk to you. If I'm not going to talk to you, I'll go talk to somebody else. We also have to portray that we don't give a shit. We will drop this conversation. We will drop this girl without a moment's hesitation. Why?

8:38 Because this communicates that you have options. I had a client in last night's coaching call. And he's like, hey, man. So I was talking to that girl I was dating. And she's like, oh, I think I'm going to go on a date with this other guy. And girls do this to test you. And my client, Hank, was like, cool. I think you should go out with him. He sounds like a great guy. Have fun. Why did I just get more attracted to you when you said that?

9:00 And I asked Hank. I was like, why did you get more attracted to you? And he's like, because it shows options. If I'm willing to drop her, let her go out on a date with a different guy without getting butt hurt, which so many guys would do, she's going to understand that I have options and I'm not needy. And that's what we're trying to portray in those first two elements of the four pillars of attraction, frame and game. All I'm doing is talking to you, girl.

9:23 I'm not hitting on you. And by the way, boys, this significantly reduces the chances of you getting rejected. This significantly reduces what we call approach anxiety. Also, on another side note, a lot of side notes today, but this is really interesting. The reason why you're nervous when you go approach a girl is because you want an outcome. You want a positive outcome. There's no other explanation for it. If you literally don't give a shit, which all you guys have experienced, where you talk to a fat girl, a ham planted fatty or a New York rump roast, you just didn't care what happened.

10:00 You were not nervous in any way whatsoever. So why is it that we get nervous when we're talking to hot girls? Because you want it to go well, brother. And what is that? That's external validation. You want her to validate you. Therefore, you're in the feminine energy. So what's the secret? The secret is to not give a shit, to be talking to as many girls as possible and to not go in with any intention. You are not trying to pull her into any outcome whatsoever. You're there to simply practice, to give value, which is another important tip, feel good, go in, show her a good time and be like, eh, if she likes me, fine.

10:37 If she doesn't like me, that's fine. I don't give a shit. The V-Cup protocol, boys. Frame game, frame game. All I'm doing is leading this girl down a track of good emotions. All I'm doing is building intrigue in her. All I'm doing is cracking her up, telling stories, showing my value. And what I'm doing is showing her that I'm not to be fucked with when she tests me. Also in last night's coaching call, a different client, Jeremy, was like, hey, this girl said, oh, you're trying to kiss me, aren't you?

11:06 And I said, Jeremy, what'd you say? And he flipped it perfectly, boys. He was like, listen, Anna, I know you're trying to kiss me right now and like do some reverse psychology, telling me that I want to kiss you so that I will kiss you. But relax, we just met. And I was like, dude, you nailed it. And that's frame control, where we're not buying into a frame. We are in our own frame. If she says something to us, we're going to use the frame control tenets, agree and amplify, misinterpretation, reframe, ignore, or reframe with a qualifying question.

11:37 All my clients know about those ones. And now she's getting attracted to you. So you start getting signs. She's flipping her hair. She's licking her lips. She touched you a couple of times. She's like, oh, Adam, you're so silly. Like rubbed her hand down your chest. And the other thing they do, which I've talked about many times, is they'll put one foot in front of the other, kind of crossing their legs, which is really interesting. Look for that one. And jokingly, me and my clients always say that the reason they do that is because they're feeling a little bit of a festival in their vestibule, and there might be some tingling down there.

12:11 So they put one leg in front of the other. I've asked my friends about this. I'm like, girls, why do you do this? They don't know. But that's our little theory. Thus, the V-Cup protocol. V stands for festival in her vestibule. She's getting a snail trail. She's starting to get down with your funk, and she's liking what she's seeing. Now we go into sexual tension. Last night, my other client, Peter, was like, yo, can you give me some good techniques to build sexual tension? And then all of us were just going off on this tangent.

12:38 And Peter's like furiously writing notes, and he's going to go deploy it because now that he's in the program, he's starting to nail dates when he never did before. And he's like, Mark, these girls are getting attracted to me. How do I go into sexual tension? And I'm like, Peter, that's coming up in your training. But for now, brother, here is what you do. And what you do, boys, the easiest one, and I give this away on the podcast, the other ones I say for my tier one clients, but this one is gangster.

13:04 So basically what you say is, you know what, Anna? I'm kind of curious about you. You're funny. You're cool to talk to. You're pretty charismatic, and I'll give it to you, little girl. You're pretty cute. Why don't you have a boyfriend? It's got to be because you're a bad kisser, huh? Now, this is the third or fourth pillar. By the way, these two are interchangeable. They don't have to happen exactly in sequence. These two are, too, frame and game. They kind of happen together, as does sexual tension and qualifying.

13:30 These all kind of happen together, and it's not necessarily like fire one, fire two, fire three, bounce quarters off the bed in your deck cabin because you're a fucking champion. It's not like that. It's a little bit more nebulous. But generally speaking, we're doing frame and game in the beginning until we get signs of attraction. Then we start having her game us, and this is the mirror image of what we originally did. We originally went up and gave value. We gave frame. She's getting attracted. Then we start asking her questions to game us.

14:00 Then we start showing interest and can take it a little bit sexual, which is the example I just gave you. Why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? Yeah, I heard about you. You do the helicopter tongue maneuver, the jackhammer tongue maneuver. I heard you lick guys' faces when you get all fired up. It sounds gross. No, I don't. I do this. Now she's selling herself to you. Do you remember my recent episode where I talked about weaponizing cognitive dissonance?

14:27 The more you can get a woman to sell herself to you, the more she's going to get attracted to you. And boys, never under any circumstance do you want to sell yourself to a woman. When you do that, it shows low value. It shows you don't feel like you're enough. It's like taking a girl on a really expensive date. The reason we don't do that is because it basically says, I don't feel like I'm enough, so I'm going to basically buy an experience because I don't feel like I can generate an experience with my conversation alone.

14:57 So as the man, we are never trying to qualify ourselves to a girl, sell ourselves to a girl by her respect or by her time. We know where the shit and when you believe it, being internally validated, which is masculine, she will know it. Being feminine, going along with you, following you, getting state from you, therefore getting attracted to you. So in the third and fourth pillars of attraction, we are starting to make her sell herself to us, tell us stories, for example. So Sarah, I told you a story about last summer where I went on that trip.

15:30 Have you ever been on any trips? Yeah, I've traveled a little bit. Oh, really? Where'd you go? Tell me about it. Like what happened? What's like the coolest thing that's ever happened to you on a vacation or like a camping trip or a hiking, backpacking trip? Well, what happened to you there? Get her talking about it. Then as she's working for you, you start quote unquote, pretending that you're getting attracted to her. And we as men know, we were attracted to her from the beginning. I mean, guys get attracted to girls within literally 0.3 seconds.

15:58 You look at a girl, do the quick scan. You're attracted to her. And the reason that is it's own podcast episode, but it's health signs for her to have a healthy baby ingrained in your lizard brain where you can literally look at a girl. And this is your superpower, brother. You can look at a girl and know exactly how healthy she is to have a baby. How do you know that? How hot she is. How much you want to stick your red helmeted warrior into her squishmitten and have a festival in her vestibule.

16:27 That's how healthy she is to have a baby. Isn't that interesting? So we pretend we're not attracted to her in the beginning. And yes, boys, you have to act a little bit, which goes into another recent episode I did, which was why you should play games with women. You have to game yourself and be like, I don't care. And what I do oftentimes is I'll focus on something that's unattractive about her. I was talking to this really hot girl the other night in a nightclub and she had like just the hottest face, but her cheeks were like a little poofy.

16:55 So I was like focusing on that. And this is just gaming yourself. It's not anything negative about her. You have to calm yourself. Tell your red helmeted warrior in your underwear to stand down Sergeant Hayter. He will get his when it's time. Guys, being patient with chicks and not caring about what happens, letting go of outcome is one of the most powerful things you can do. And I will remap your brain if you come into my three-month coaching program to not give a little shit about what people think of you.

17:25 Because I guarantee you 50% of the reason you're so thirsty is because you're not getting any and you're so horny you'd fuck a snake if you could hold it straight. But the other 50% of the reason is because on some level, you don't feel like you're enough and you want that girl to validate you. When you remove that from your brain and when you're talking to five girls at a time, you literally don't care. And that's the best vibe. You go in not giving a shit. You get her attracted to you.

17:50 Then you take her through the sequence where she can game you. Then you pretend that you're getting attracted to her. And this is kind of fun because you could put on your acting lessons that you took in ninth grade and be like, huh, I'm starting to get attracted to you, little girl. Damn, I didn't realize that you were so great. And this works into you not just trying to yank her phone number because she's hot, which so many guys do. I say all the time, it's easy to get a phone number.

18:18 But the real challenge is getting a phone number that sticks. Part of the reason phone numbers don't stick, which basically means she doesn't text you back or doesn't agree to go on a date with you is because you didn't show any interest in her. You went up and you're like, oh, you're so beautiful. Could I have your phone number? And she's like, okay. And she just gave it to you to get rid of you. Whereas in my structure, the four pillars of attraction, more specifically, the V-Cup protocol, you're framing game until she gets attracted to you.

18:46 Then you go to sexual attention and qualifying to let her game you. So when she goes home at night, having given you her phone number, she's like, oh, I really like Brian because he likes me too. Like we connected. I told him about my hiking adventure where I'm so hot that 15 different dudes carried me up the mountain and I didn't have to exert one ounce of energy because I'm a hot girl. Oh, being a hot girl is so challenging. But I like him. He just feels different.

19:14 And he's interested in me beyond more than my perfect ass and perky tits. He doesn't just want to have a festival in my vestibule, but he likes me for me. Then she texts you back. So the four pillars of attraction, boys, frame, value, sexual tension, qualifying. The first two obviously happen at the same time. And the second two can be kind of switched back and forth as to when they happen. But they only happen once the snail trail hath started down her leg because she's so attracted to you.

19:45 Then you go into, so what's good about you beyond your looks? What would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Oh, that's great. And something I say to a little line you can steal from me is you just went up 20 points in my book. You're now at negative 30. Congratulations. High five. And she'll probably smack you on the arm. Another sign of attraction. Then you do a little bit of sexual tension. All the techniques I teach in my three-month coaching program, but you guys can have that one.

20:11 So why don't you have a boyfriend? I bet it's because you're a bad kisser, huh? You do the helicopter tongue maneuver. You do the jackhammer tongue maneuver. And I bet when you go down on guys, you like nibble on the head of the penis, don't you? Give a little nibble. And guys, for some reason, don't like that. I don't know why you don't have a boyfriend nibbling on the penis. Every dude likes, I'm fucking with you, Kelly. Relax. No real talk. Why don't you have a boyfriend?

20:34 Oh, because I'm picky, which is what they all say. You say, oh yeah, like, why are you picky? And then she explains that. You'd be like, I like that. You actually want a guy with integrity. Let me find you a guy in here. Oh, that dude right there. Let's go introduce you to him. No, I don't want to meet him, right? This is all building attraction. It's giving her a reason to be attracted to you and to know why you like her beyond just her looks, which is so damn important.

21:00 So don't forget the four pillars of attraction, the basic structure of how to go in, talk to a girl, get her attracted to you, yank her phone number that has a high chance of actually getting a text back. Now, obviously, what to do on the first date, how to build even more attraction, how to physically escalate, how to do all the things that you're going to have to do in this game if you want to get better with women. I teach a little bit in my podcast, but more thoroughly in my program.

21:27 But still, boys, this is the basic structure to get a woman attracted to you from A to Z, at least in the first conversation. Don't forget the four pillars of attraction. And please, boys, do not be the creepy guy that shows so much interest in the beginning, compliments her, blows smoke up her ass, gets way too sexual before she's ready. You have to remember that women are the barometer for escalations and that you're leading them to where they want to be led to. When she wants you to kiss her, you kiss her.

21:57 When she really wants to be your girlfriend, that's when you ask her to be your girlfriend. Even up to marriage, you got to wait for that girl to be like, so are we going to get married? You'd be like, hell no, dude, I wouldn't marry you, you sea donkey. And she's like, shut up, no real talk. Make her wait for that and then take her there, boys. You have to lead women to where they want to be led and do not go sexual too soon because when you have more interest in her than she has in you, you will get blown out so hard.

22:26 It's going to blow the mustache off your best friend's face when the concussion hits. So gentlemen, I hope this has helped you. Please stay tuned for my next podcast episode, which is dropping on Tuesday. As a reminder, I'm now doing them once a week and I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review.

22:54 You have no idea how much that helps me. Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.