Attraction 101: How to Tell if a Woman is Attracted to You (15 Tell-Tale Signs)

0:00 So, Brian. Yeah, Mark. When I snap my fingers, you will forget you were ever gay. Dude, I was never gay. See? It worked. Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of The UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. And today, boys, we're going to go back a little bit to basics and talk about when a girl's attracted to you.

0:41 We need to make sure that a woman is attracted to you before we try to escalate any part of the conversation, any part of the seduction, getting her phone number, kissing her, and obviously having sex with her. I always tell my boys, you need to have at least three, preferably five signs of attraction. And these are part of them in order to get her phone number. So, when you first go into the conversation, you obviously don't ask for the phone number unless she's feeling it, unless she's vibing.

1:09 And you need to be like a detective sometimes, seeing if she's attracted to you or not so you know what to do next. As I always say, women are the barometer for your escalations. What that means is if she's not vibing with you, then you don't escalate in any sexual way whatsoever. Yes, even asking for her phone number, touching your hand, complimenting her. It's based on how much she's liking you that you can show her how much you're liking her. That's why when we first go in, obviously, we're attracted to her.

1:40 She's cute. She's got a nice body. As men, we're attracted to women within literally 0.3 seconds. You look at the girl, bam, she's hot. You're attracted to her. But we have to almost pretend that we're just interested in the conversation. We're just interested in getting to know her better. We're just a social guy before we actually show that attraction. And we do that based off her attraction signs. So we go in, we don't hit on girls. We go in very innocently, very innocuous, just conversating, just having a good time.

2:10 And then when she shows signs of attraction, then we can start showing interest in her. And I usually say it takes about three, four, five of these until you start doing that. So let's get into the content. So the first thing you guys want to ideally do is kind of watch her talking to her friends or watch her talking to a guy that you don't think she's attracted to. This way you can get a base level on her behavior so that you're not misinterpreting how she's treating you as opposed to how she's treating other people.

2:40 What happens to a lot of guys is they'll talk to a bartender who's like really spunky and really smiley. And it's like all her Christmases have arrived on the same day. And they're like, oh, dude, this girl's attracted to me. But what they don't realize is she acts that same way with every single dude she meets. And why would a bartender act that way? Obviously to get more tips. So we have to have some sort of base level reaction to how she's being with other people before we can assess whether or not she's really attracted to us.

3:06 But if you guys get three to five of these signs, you can be pretty sure that she is attracted to you. And here they are. The first one is when she's smiling a lot. And like I said, you don't always know how much she's smiling because you don't know if she's like an avid smiler or if she doesn't smile a lot. But generally speaking, most people don't smile all the time. So she's smiling at a lot. And the second one is laughing at jokes that aren't funny.

3:31 This is a really big sign that she's probably attracted to you. If you do like a stupid noise, like you just poke her and you're like, ooh, ooh, and you poke her and she starts laughing, who would laugh at that? It's totally stupid. It's totally silly. But if she's attracted to you, she goes a little bit into five-year-old girl mode where she does think things like that are funny. She's going to laugh at them. The next one, boys, is leaning in, invading your personal space. So usually when we talk to people, we give two to three feet of personal space.

4:01 At least that's the way it is in the United States. If she's kind of leaning into that space, invading your personal space, that's a huge sign of attraction. Generally speaking, until she's attracted to you, you don't really want to invade her personal space too much because it's going to make her possibly feel uncomfortable. But if she's leaning into your personal space, that's a really good sign. Another good sign is if she's touching you. I would say this is probably one of the biggest signs because if a girl's not attracted to you, is she really going to touch you?

4:32 Yeah, maybe she's touchy-feely with a lot of people. But generally speaking, it takes a decent level of attraction and trust for a girl to actually touch you, such as hitting you on the arm when you tease her, such as wanting to touch your hand to show you something, or like when you give her a drink, she kind of touches your hand while she's getting it. These are really big signs of attraction. The next several involve playing with certain things on her body. And this is something I really look for, particularly playing with her hair.

5:00 So if she's kind of spinning her hair around her finger, or she's kind of grooming herself, like almost like combing her hair in a way or putting her fingers through her hair, that's a really big sign of attraction. And it's also unconscious. And interestingly enough, it comes from primate behavior, grooming herself to look more pretty for you because she's unconsciously attracted to you. Next thing she's going to do is play with her jewelry. Like if she's wearing a ring, she might be playing with that ring.

5:28 Or if she's wearing a necklace, particularly a necklace, I've noticed, she'll kind of play with that necklace because she's unconsciously attracted and she's fidgeting. When we're attracted, we're nervous. And this is why a lot of you guys get stifled when you approach women. When you're nervous, you're going to fidget. And this too is why a lot of you guys will sit there with your straw, pounding it into your drink or stirring your drink with your straw because you're fidgeting, which shows insecurity. It's a low value behavior.

5:56 But when women do it, they'll do things like playing with their hair, playing with their jewelry, or, and this is a big one, adjusting her top. What I feel she's doing when she adjusts her top is to make herself look prettier and possibly, and I've seen this many times with women, make her boobs look better. So she might pull her top tighter because it makes her tits stick out. Or as a lot of you guys do, you'll pull the shirt off your fat because you're insecure.

6:24 So if she's adjusting her clothes or adjusting like her cummerbund or something about her general clothing, that's a really big sign of attraction. She's trying to look pretty for you. And obviously the reason she's doing that is because she's feeling attraction. Some other signs are she will stand there when the conversation dies instead of politely excusing herself. You guys have all been there where you're talking to a girl, the conversation dies and she's like, so it was good to talk to you, but I'm going to get back to my friends now.

6:52 And you're like, okay, because you went into screensaver mode, you became a canyon mule and you lost the conversation. It's your job, as I always say, to carry that conversation. But let's say you're talking to her and the conversation just dies. You run out of things to talk about. You can't think of anything else to say. And she stays there and or she asks you more questions. That's a huge sign of attraction. The next one is crossing one leg in front of her other leg. Me and my buddies have had long, learned conversations about why girls do this.

7:25 Because if you look at it, she's crossing one leg in front of her other leg, which seemingly would say that her vagina is closed. And I know this is diving deep into the weeds of why she's doing this, but hear me out. So you would look at it and you would think that's actually closed off body language, kind of like her crossing her arms in front of her chest, which by the way, is a sign of non-attraction, which actually I should do a podcast about, but she's doing it with her legs.

7:50 And we've seen it time and time again, where girls will do this. And we finally came up with the possible answer a couple of years ago, whether or not this is true, it doesn't matter. But what we thought was she's starting to feel some tingling down there in her vaginal region. And she's kind of closing her legs because it's just a sensation. Like she just wants to close it up because she feels like the flower is opening. The snail trail hath begun down her leg. So she's trying to close it up to prevent that from happening.

8:21 We laughed about it for years. We would talk about this because we'd see it time and time again. And girls will do it. And we'll kind of like look at each other and wink like, oh, there's the sign, bro. She's putting one leg in front of the other, which we would always laugh about. She's getting tingling in the old dingling. She needs to close it up because she's getting some feelings down there. So that's one thing that women will always do. Another big one, boys, is they will tell you you're different from other guys.

8:49 Oh, my hell. This is such a big sign of attraction. She'll say, you know, you just you're different than other guys. I don't know. There's just something about you. You're different. You're not like the other guys here, which, by the way, is one of the things you should tell girls when they get jealous of all the other girls you're talking to. So if a girl accuses you of being a player and talking to a bunch of girls, you could be like, yeah, I talk to girls, but do you see me getting their phone number?

9:15 No. Do you see me making out with a bunch of girls? No. Yeah, I just talk to girls. And honestly, I don't know. I kind of get a sense about you. You seem different than those other girls. And they always agree with that. And they always say those other girls are bitches and sluts. Meanwhile, she's the one who's at the club three nights a week. It's so funny how they rip on each other. But her basically saying that you're different than other guys is a huge sign of attraction.

9:38 The next one is she asks you what you do on the weekends or more specifically, what do you do in this weekend? So she asks you about any future plans. What do you typically like to do? Do you like to do X, Y, Z thing? Say, for example, you live in Colorado as I do. She may ask you, do you like to go skiing? Do you like to go snowboarding? Are you into fishing? Like, what do you do on the weekends? Huge sign of attraction. All right, the next one, boys, is also a primate behavior that I find so interesting and so consistent.

10:09 They will actually itch the underside of their wrist, which is primate behavior. I don't know why it happens, but it must be something is elicited in the neural system when she's attracted to you and her inner wrist starts itching and she'll start itching it. We have seen it many times, and that's actually what primates do, which I find absolutely fascinating. Now, the next one, boys, are super obvious, but for some reason, a lot of guys don't pick up on this, including myself when I was in my 20s, asking you if you have a girlfriend.

10:39 She doesn't give a shit if you have a girlfriend, if she's not attracted to you. The only time she cares about that is if she is attracted to you. So if she asks you that, put one on the board. She's definitely attracted. The next one is accusing you of flirting with other girls. The only reason she's going to do that is because she's attracted and she's butthurt that you're talking to other girls. This includes asking you how many phone numbers you got, saying things like, is this what you say to all the girls?

11:06 Saying things like, is that one of your pickup lines? Now, if you guys have been listening to my podcast for any amount of time, you know about frame control. What do you say if she says, how many phone numbers did you get? You say, I got nine numbers. One more, and I would have had a full phone number. Thank you for that, Liam, my awesome podcast editor. I appreciate you editing that in there. So if she says, how many phone numbers did you get? You're a player, aren't you?

11:29 How many girls are you talking to? Oh, you're a slut, aren't you? All signs of attraction, bro. She knows that you have game and frame. She's peanut butter and jealous of all those other girls you're talking to, and she's attracted to you, dog. So those signs are actually good. So don't get butthurt about it. If she's like, oh, is this what you say to all the girls? A girl wouldn't say that to you unless she was feeling some level of attraction. What would she say? Not interested.

11:54 Go away. We don't want to talk to you. That's no level of attraction, which again, I should do a podcast on. But if she's kind of accusing you of being a player, accusing you of talking to all the girls, being a flirt, it's a really good sign. She's feeling attraction, but you need to get past that frame check to show her that she's the special one as I told you to do previously. All right, boys. I just took the time to count them all up, and we definitely have way more than 15 already, but I'll give you one more that's really important.

12:22 When she's overly shy and she has trouble looking at you. So sometimes girls can be really forward, invading your personal space, asking you personal questions. Then other times it's like they won't even look at you. Have you ever experienced this? This is because she's attracted and she's shy. Now, as I've done a podcast in the past about shy girls, they are harder to read than girls who are a little bit more forward. But oftentimes if I see her talking to other people and she seems pretty social, yeah, maybe she's a little bit reserved.

12:52 But then she talks to me and like she won't even look at me, yet she's still standing there. She's still laughing at jokes. She's still involved in the conversation. But like she fiends to make eye contact with me, like it's difficult for her to look me in the eyes. Attracted, bro. That's a huge sign. All right, we're going to go over on rapid fire. And I was an idiot with a stupid mullet because I didn't put them in the order that I just listed them to you.

13:16 But I'm just going to list them out in the order that I haven't written in my notes here. Let's get into it. Smiling a lot, leaning in, touching you, asking you personal questions, playing with their hair, playing with their jewelry, touching your mouth, staying there when the conversation dies, saying you're different than other guys, adjusting her top, crossing her leg in front of the other, trying to prevent that snail trail, itching her wrist, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, invading your personal space, asking you what you do on the weekends, asking you if you have a girlfriend, accusing you of flirting with lots of girls, accusing you of being a player, asking you how many phone numbers you got tonight, being overly shy compared to when she speaks to other people.

13:56 So these are all signs, gentlemen. You get three to five of them, then you can ask for a phone number. One quick tip. Before you ask for the phone number, make sure to qualify her. Qualifying her means making her work for you, which basically happens with questions such as, what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Do you know why you're awesome? And she's like, why? And you're like, it was a question, dum-dum. The next one is, what's good about you beyond your looks?

14:22 What's your best quality? Are you a good friend? Are you an awesome cook? Because the way to my heart is through cooking. Any of those questions you should ask before going for the phone number. And when you go for the phone number, just say this, hey, you seem pretty cool. I think we owe it to ourselves. Hang out sometime. Why don't you toss me your number? Just as simple as that, boys. You'll hand her your phone. And what I often like to do is put stalker, Texas ranger as her name or like dum-dum or hurricane and then her first name.

14:50 So if her first name is Amy, I'll put hurricane Amy and I'll type it in and then I'll hand it to her. She'll see it. She'll laugh. She'll put her phone number in and you're in like Flynn. You need three to five of those signs of attraction. So get out there, boys. Practice this shit. When you get those signs of attraction, assume the clothes. Hey, you seem pretty cool. Why don't you toss me your number? You get the number. Text her the next day at 6 p.m.

15:11 And use all the techniques that I teach in this podcast, but more importantly, in my three month coaching program. And guys, I want to tell you this. Stay tuned on Monday. I have a gigantic, humongous, stupendous announcement that you won't want to miss. I'm really excited about this one. I'm going to hook you guys up with so much content. It's going to blow a hole in your mind so big that even I could fuck it. So come back on Monday. Listen to that podcast. I appreciate you guys listening.

15:40 I drop podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. Outro.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.