How to Pick The Perfect Woman to Spend Your Life With (93% is Perfection)

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. Today, we are going to talk about how 93% is perfection when it comes to choosing the woman who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. I want to preface this by telling a story. I like to start out these episodes with stories because as human beings, we enjoy listening to good stories.

0:40 And I think I got a lot of them, at least this one, I feel is super interesting, at least it was to me when I experienced this. And this is going to preface exactly what I mean by 93% is perfection. You might be able to guess what I'm saying there, but you're about to know all about it based on this story. So, there's a dude who basically started this whole niche, this pickup niche, this how-to-attract-girls-on-command niche. Before the early 2000s, this really didn't exist. I guess there were probably small pockets of people who talked about this stuff.

1:13 I'm sure people were figuring it out as early as the 80s, but it didn't really take hold until the early 2000s, which is when I got into it. Well, there's a dude named Mystery, and he's one of the OGs, the original gangsters of the pickup artist niche, and he created this thing called the Mystery Method. Now, Mystery, in my opinion, is a fucking champion. I like the dude. I really appreciate everything that he taught. He paved the way in many ways for guys like me to come in and to, in my opinion, make better what he taught because he was the original dude, and I've stolen a lot of what he taught.

1:47 Frame control was really his idea, or at least it was an idea that he elaborated on that I took, in my opinion, even further and got deep into the weeds on. But essentially, this guy is a complete champion, in my opinion. He created this. He put himself out there. He created the three-second rule, which means when you see a girl, you got to go approach her in three seconds. He created something called last-minute resistance, which was girls resisting having sex with you in the last minute.

2:15 Frame control reversals. He has this thing called hoop theory, which I call requests, which is basically when a girl asks you for a favor, you got to make her do a favor for you first. A lot of this comes from mystery and his program, The Mystery Method. So, I want to preface the story by saying I have nothing but respect for this dude. If I ever met him, I would bow in deference to him and be honored to spend even a second in his shadow because he is such a goddamn legend.

2:43 Well, I saw an interview with him the other day. I haven't seen him in a long time, and he's aged like all of us have. But the interview really surprised me and kind of depressed me, to be honest with you. And what happened in the interview is the individual is asking him questions about what he's doing in his dating life. Has he met anybody yet? And what he said to that question, have you met anybody yet, is still looking for my queen. Now, mind you, he's 52 years old, has more game than 99.99999% of the population, understands how to attract women on command, has been with the hottest of the hot.

3:22 And I know this because I've seen him with absolutely stunning women, yet hasn't met his queen, and he's 52. So, I'm looking at this, and I'm saying, okay, he's probably dated thousands, if not tens of thousands of women, right? He's had every single girl you could possibly imagine, yet he hasn't found his queen yet. So, what's going on here? Is it because he's been unlucky? Probably not. He's probably met women that have been more than qualified to be his wife for the rest of his life. Is it because he's some weird, independent guy, and he just doesn't want to get married?

3:56 I guess that's possible. But he just said in the interview that he's looking for his queen, which means, I'm looking for my wife. I'm looking for my soulmate. I'm looking for my woman. So, I don't think that argument really makes sense either. What I think is happening is he's looking for perfection. Literally, perfection. She has to be perfect. Perfect feet, perfect legs, perfect ass, perfect tummy, perfect tits, perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect face, perfect mouth, perfect everything, including personality, soul, belief systems, all that stuff. That, in my experience as well as your experience, has to fit like a key into a lock.

4:31 Some things need to be completely the same. You need to have similar opinions on things like politics, things like what happens after death, the reason we're here. I believe that's really important to be exactly the same. But then other things need to be opposite. For example, Marissa and I, Marissa is naturally very optimistic, and I'm naturally kind of a pessimist. So, I'm always looking for what could go wrong. And her big statement, which I love her for, is don't worry, it's going to be great. And we balance each other out because some things are opposite, but most things are the same.

5:03 So, he's looking for his ideal partner, and inevitably, and I've been through this myself, this is why I feel I can comment on it. You see something in the person that bothers you, and you blow them out because of it. Because you have the unrealistic expectation that perfection exists. But what is the cliche statement that we all know? Nobody's perfect. And this includes women. Guys, I want to tell you something right now. That's the whole basis of this episode. There is no such thing as perfection.

5:29 No matter how many women you get, no matter how much game you get, no matter how good you get in this niche, and you're going to get damn good, especially if you come join me in my three-month coaching program, you are going to find something about the woman that is not perfect. And this is why I titled this, 93% is perfection. I think you know what I meant by that. 93% of being perfect is perfect when it comes to picking your wife, which means she is going to have things about her you don't love.

5:56 She is going to annoy you in certain ways, as yes, Marissa annoys me sometimes. She is going to not have the perfect body after a certain amount of time because atrophy, especially if you're going to live with the woman for the rest of your life, is inevitable. Do you look perfect after how many years you've been alive? No, you probably get a little bit of sagging here, some extra skin there, maybe a mole here, a skin tag, a wart, whatever it is, it's going to happen.

6:23 So this illusion of expectation, of perfection that I believe mystery has, has prevented him from meeting his wife, who he's probably met dozens of times. I guarantee you he's met some women that were absolutely amazing. How do I know this is true? Because I too have been with bunches of women who I could have spent the rest of my life with, but I'm glad I did wait for Marissa because she, in my opinion, is perfect under that expectation that 93% is perfection. If I have to be honest, when it comes to Marissa, I'd say she's about 95% there.

6:57 There's about 5% of stuff that I'm not completely thrilled on. For example, she has some differing opinions about what it means to be a man and a woman. She's a little bit more left-leaning than I am, and she thinks that people can flip-flop between their genders. We completely disagree when it comes to that. My opinion is either a boy or a girl. And yeah, if you want to switch to become a girl when you're a boy, go ahead and do so, but don't join the fucking volleyball team and decimate everybody.

7:22 Or worse yet, join the UFC and Donkey Kong motherfuckers because you were born as a boy, and now you say you're a girl and you're beating everybody up in the ring. So we have some disagreements where that's concerned. That goes into that 5%. Does she look as amazing as she did when I first met her? Bro, we're in our mid-40s. Inevitably, no matter how beautiful the person is, and believe me, this is a beautiful, amazing angel of a woman. She's still getting some atrophy, dude, and I'm not going to lie.

7:52 It is what it is, but I love her soul. I love her soul to the ends of the world and back because she is an amazing human being. Just like she always says, don't worry, it's going to be great. I need that in my life. So when I'm helping guys pick their wife, you have to pick somebody who you actually enjoy being around. And I've spoken about this in previous episodes. Would I spend the rest of my life on a desert island with this person, this female, if I had one person to choose and nobody else?

8:20 Would it be her? That's my weird parameter that I put out to my boys if they're like, hey, man, I'm thinking about marrying this girl. I'm thinking about settling down with this girl. I always ask them, if you had one person to choose to spend the rest of your life with on a desert island, would it be that chick? And a lot of times the answer is no, right? It's like, no, she annoys me, but the sex is good. This two boys is the reason that by age 40, the average divorce rate goes up.

8:45 Why is that? Oftentimes, we marry somebody because we're in love with them. What is love? It's literally a chemical. It's this long-ass chemical name I can't pronounce that starts with a P that gets put into your brain every time you see the person and they act on you like a drug. So you get addicted to this person. You think you're in love with them, but it's really lust. It's really that male-to-female connection. The sex is good. And you think you have this amazing connection with them, but it's just that lust.

9:13 So time goes by, you guys are having sex, you're happy, and then by the time you get to 40, the sex kind of goes down. She starts losing some of her looks, and you guys lose the passion. Then you realize you have nothing in common to begin with, and then you get divorced. So what I always say is make sure this chick is your best friend. Do you actually enjoy spending time with her? I literally enjoy just hanging out with Marissa, talking to her on the couch, just talking story, bullshitting with each other, telling each other about our dreams, our hopes, our aspirations, telling stories, laughing at each other, making fun of each other.

9:45 You guys need to have that friendship. Now, some people say, no, no, no, no, you can't be friends with your wife. Bullshit. You should be best friends with that woman, in my opinion. And this is just my opinion, because when it comes to this, there's a lot of opinion, but I think mystery has met many women that he's completely related to, but their ass cheek just had kind of an extra fold in it, so he's out like sauerkraut. It's that illusory expectation of perfection that makes a lot of guys like us end up alone, because we get the power to attract women on command, and a lot of guys want that power, and I want you guys to have that too.

10:21 I want you to experience dating as many women as possible, so that, relating to my previous episode, you can see what you like, see what you don't like, build your skill set, and then when you meet a high-quality woman, you can actually have the power to attract her to you, settle down with her, and see if she makes the cut. 93% is perfection, and even if you have to, write down all the things you like about her, and the things you don't like about her, and literally turn it into a mathematical equation.

10:50 Does she meet 93% of my expectations? Is she 93% there when it comes to perfection? If she is, in my opinion, that's marriage material right there, because that shit is hard to find. Let me tell you something else. If you're dating a girl, and you guys are having fights when you're living in your apartment, and she's living in her apartment, break up with her immediately, because if you expect to be able to work it out when you guys are living in different places, not living in the same house, let alone having a kid together, you are in for a rude awakening when you guys live together and when you have a kid together.

11:25 A kid is going to test your relationship like you never even thought possible. I'll tell you what, kids are probably the biggest reason for divorce. A big reason is because the sexuality leaves, the love leaves, and they realize they don't like each other, but children, oh my God, they will frustrate you, they will annoy you, they will put tension on your relationship, they will age your woman. Okay, I'm warning you boys, they will age your woman like you've never seen. Now, Marissa is elegant, she's beautiful, but little Lucia, our four-year-old girl, she's aged Marissa a couple years, and she's aged me too, because they take a lot of work.

12:00 They test the relationship, and you better damn well be a teammate with that woman, a best friend, somebody who you want to help rather than take from if you're going to have a successful relationship. 93% is perfection. I have this saying when it comes to relationships, you have to accept rather than expect. What that means is eventually you have to love the person unconditionally. Even if, yes, they put on a couple extra pounds, and I just mean couple, if they start to have the badonkadonk butt, maybe you need to sit her down and have a conversation, but maybe she will put on a couple pounds.

12:35 Maybe her face will sag a little bit. She'll get some crow's feet around her eyes. She'll get some laugh lines. She'll get a little bit of a turkey neck going. This is all going to happen. Look at grandma's, bro. Do you think that if you marry a woman and you're going to spend the rest of your life with her, she's not going to look like a grandma in 50 years, 40 years, 30 years, 20 years, however old you are? Get that out of your head, bro, because she's going to grandma status.

12:58 Would you like to hang out with that grandma or not? Maybe you think, ah, I'll never get married then. I also disagree with that. We are meant to pair bond. It has been scientifically proven that people are healthier, happier, and live longer when they have a wife or husband and a family. When you have children, when you have a tribe around you, and you are the elder of that tribe, the silverback, as I know you want to be, that's where happiness is. And in today's society, there's a big movement to push guys, and I've done this myself, to be fuckboys, to think that the more girls I have sex with, the more girls I experience, not only will that fill me up and make me feel better, which too is an illusion, but eventually I will find perfection.

13:38 And then I'll settle down with her. That too is an illusion. So here's how you do it. Per my previous episode, date lots of girls, build the skill set, get so good that you can attract really high quality women on command. I'm talking girls that, yes, look like they stepped out of a Maxim magazine, who take care of themselves so will continue to look beautiful into their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s, just like Marissa is doing. Then from that pool of women, think to yourself, 93% is perfection.

14:07 If I meet a girl who meets 93% of everything that I'm looking for, that's perfection. And put her up against a hard list. Would we raise a child the same way? Do we have the same belief systems when it comes to religion? What happens after death? About things like abortion, about things like what kind of schooling do we want our kids to have? Things like how much are we going to push the kid or let the kid just be? All these things need to be discussed. If she's 93% there, pull the trigger.

14:34 And of course, the most important thing is you love her soul. You don't just love her ass and her tits. And I've been there many times where I'm just like, oh, I love this girl, bro, because she's so banging. Don't fall into that trap. It's a chemical. It's lust. And it will fade. You have to love the person's soul, who they are. Would you trust this person with your life is another important question to ask. I would trust Marissa with my life, hands down. No questions asked.

14:59 And I say that about five people. About five people in my life. She's definitely one of them. I trust her to never cheat on me. I trust her to never steal from me. Fuck me over. Do anything mean to our kid. That too needs to be in place. But perfection doesn't exist. And I think Mystery, being 52 years old, on that interview, he just kind of looked sunken and depressed. And he was smoking. And he just didn't look like his old vibrant self full of hope and enthusiasm.

15:25 He literally looked like he reached a point of constant disappointment. And he's still buying into the illusory expectation that he's going to meet perfection. And she's not out there, man. Because humans aren't perfect. We're supposed to be fallible. That's the whole point of life is to make mistakes and grow from them. You can't be perfect and make mistakes. So she's going to have flaws about her. Accept rather than expect. Make sure it's 93% there. But at the same time, do not use this as an excuse to settle down with the first sea donkey that you meet and say, Well, Mark said perfection doesn't exist.

15:59 So I'm just going to get out of this whole dating thing and just settle with the first girl who likes me. Don't make that mistake. Have high standards. But don't make perfection your highest standard because it doesn't exist and you're going to end up alone. How bad would it suck to be 80 years old in the old folks home and have no family to come visit you? You don't have children. You don't have grandchildren. You don't perhaps have a woman sitting across from you that you spent your life with, that you love with every fiber of your being.

16:26 I think that is hell incarnate. You can marry the wrong woman, which is one form of hell, but not settling down with anybody at all because your standards are too high. That, too, is a form of hell. So get out there. Get the skill set. Yeah, bro, get laid. Have tons of sex. Have tons of different women. But when you meet a good one, hang on to her because they are somewhat rare. And if you really click with the person, you love their soul and their nose just happens to be slightly hooked or you don't like their badonkadonk butt because it's just a little bit too small for you because I know you like them gigantic, ask yourself, is this 93% or am I just making an excuse because I have too much perfection and I don't want to settle down or because I don't think I can get a girl who's good enough for me and I'm just going to settle down with this sea donkey because it's all I could get.

17:14 So be realistic with yourself, but let's not make the mistake that mystery did. And I'll tell you as a final point, I almost made that mistake. I really did. I've never told you guys this before, but I've broken up with Marissa before because she wasn't perfect. And I kept coming back to her because she's her, man. She's an amazing woman. I love her with every fiber of my being. But I was like, nah, she's not perfect. I mean, one time I wanted to blow her out because she used the same shampoo that my grandmother used.

17:41 And I was like, oh, she smells like my grandma. I don't want to take this girl anymore. I was so unrealistic in my expectations. Don't make the same mistake that I did. 93% is perfection. When you settle down with your woman, love her soul. And always ask yourself that question. If I had to choose one person to spend the rest of my life with on a fucking desert island, would it be this chick? Yeah, she's going to annoy me sometimes. But 93% of the time, we are going to be jiving.

18:07 We're going to be working as a team. And it's going to be fucking great. So that's the standard, boys. 93% is perfection. I do appreciate you listening. I draw podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.