How to Get a Girlfriend in 2024 (My Step by Step Game Plan)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What's up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. If this is your first time listening, welcome. My name is Mark Sing. I'm an NLP dating coach. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. I work on what's going on inside your head. And the reason I do that, as you're about to find out today, is because your behavior is the single most important thing to getting a girlfriend.

0:39 If your behavior is off, she's not going to get attracted to you. So we need to work on our self-esteem, our self-worth, traumas we've had in the past, so that we behave correctly in order to attract a girlfriend. One of the things I notice about guys who are trying to get a girlfriend is, they're coming, first of all, from a place of scarcity. They haven't had a girlfriend in sometimes many years. So they think that they'll listen to a couple of podcasts, deploy what they learned off those podcasts, and sniper approach the thing by going to get a girlfriend.

1:11 They see the girl, they go use the lines that I've taught them, and then boom, they've got a girlfriend and they can get out of this mess once and for all. But you and I both know that's not the way it works. When it comes to this niche, when it comes to attracting women, this is a skill set. And as a skill set, you have to think shotgun approach, not sniper approach. What do I mean by that? I mean that you need to build the skill set by speaking to many women over a certain amount of time to build a skill set, just like reps in a batting cage, so that when you do meet the girl that's best for you, you're not, first of all, choosing from scarcity, which means, well, that's the girl.

1:47 I guess she accepts me, so I'm going to take her. You're choosing from abundance. And this makes me think of a story. I was talking to this old man the other day, and he knew I was a dating coach, and he confessed to me. His wife had died about five years ago, and he regretted marrying her. And it's pretty rare that you're going to get somebody admitting that they regret marrying somebody. But he explained to me that in his situation, they were introduced through mutual friends, and they got along pretty good.

2:12 She was somewhat attractive. She liked him. So he settled down with her. Now he's in an old folks home. He's an old man, and he has zero options because he has zero game. And he told me that that was one of the biggest regrets of his entire life was marrying this woman. They didn't get along. They just weren't compatible, but he settled because he didn't have the skill set. So the fortunate thing about the position that you're in is you can take the time to build this skill set.

2:39 And I'm telling you, gentlemen, it doesn't take that long, especially if you come into my three-month coaching program. It's months before you can attract women on command. If you don't do that, what I always think about is, what if I'm on my deathbed and I have regrets? What if I look at my wife and I say, damn, she was unattractive. We didn't get along. I didn't love her. I just chose her because she was the lesser of all evils, and she chose me. She accepted me.

3:07 So I just went ahead and accepted her. Brothers, I don't know about you, but to me, that sounds like the quintessential definition of hell. Being with a woman for the rest of my life who I don't truly love, who I am not best friends with, who isn't hot, the sex isn't bomb.com, and we get along like soulmates. I know that's what you want to find, but I have to tell you, it doesn't come from the serendipitous moment that your friend just happens to introduce you to this chick.

3:31 You haven't worked on yourself. You haven't tightened up your battleship, as I always say. You haven't dealt with the bullshit inside your head. You definitely haven't built this skill set, but somehow she still accepts you. Brothers, you and I both know it's not going to happen that way. What's going to happen is eventually, yeah, you'll meet a chick who's far below your standards. A canyon mule, as I always say, and perhaps a sea donkey. Throw your definition at it, but definitely a girl that's not up to your standards.

4:02 So guys, the first thing you need to realize is this is a skill set that can be developed. So I'm going to give you a step-by-step game plan on how to get a girlfriend, but what I need you to understand is before you get that girlfriend, that, I want to reiterate, you choose her and she chooses you, you need to build a skill set. So this whole framework is going to come from that mentality. This whole framework is going to give you game in the quickest way possible.

4:26 First thing we need to understand is from quantity comes quality. Just as I explained, when you're dating lots of women, when you're not afraid to approach, when you know what to do, know what to say, know how to deploy the best first date ever, know how to text with her, get her on that date, how to ramp up attraction, kiss her correctly, have sex with her correctly. And don't forget as well, keep her interested in you in a relationship. You are choosing from abundance rather than scarcity.

4:53 And that's the first tip is I need you guys talking to as many women as possible. Now I'm going to give you a game plan for how to do that, but that needs to be your mentality. In fact, when guys come into my program, I often tell them, brothers, I don't want you getting a girlfriend too quickly. Now you're going to be able to attract a lot of women with my help. But what I want you to do is develop the skill set so that the women get better and better and better and better until you're like, holy crap, dude, I can get it straight up nine or 10.

5:24 That's the level I want to get you to. Because if you've been living in a desert your entire life, and then suddenly one oasis pops up, you're going to jump into that thing head first and just lap it up. What I want you to do is relax, step back. Yes, experience that oasis. Have fun with it. Go see another oasis and another one and another one until you're in the freaking Saudi kingdom of heaven where there's palm trees, hot girls everywhere, and your freaking toilet is covered in gold.

5:47 That's the level I want you to get to. To do that, we have to think quantity, as I said. So first of all, I want you guys approaching and ejecting with women. I talk about this all the time in my coaching, and it's a very fundamental skeleton of what I teach to, A, of all, get you used to talking to women. B, of all, realize most chicks are pretty cool when you're cool to them. Get the philosophy that strangers are friends I haven't met yet and practice, practice, practice, practice.

6:14 What you do is you simply go up to people, ask a question or a couple of questions, and then dig out. For example, go up to a girl in the supermarket and say, hey, where are the watermelons in this place? And she says, oh, they're over there and over there. And you say, cool, nice to meet you. Have a good day. And you dip out. This is simply to prove to your subconscious mind that approaching people is safe and to get you comfortable. Because the more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you're going to be.

6:39 The more relaxed you are, the more correct your body language is going to be, and the higher chances she'll have of getting attracted to you. So what I prescribe to my clients is 20 girls a week, open and eject, open and eject, open and eject, to get us used to speaking to them, get us out of our shells. Because a lot of you guys are, and I hate to call you out on this, what I call podcast jockeys. You listen to tons of podcasts thinking that if I just get more information, then I'm somehow going to be able to attract the girl when she shows up.

7:14 But here's what's really going to happen. Because you haven't been practicing and all you've been doing is listening to podcasts. When she does walk around the corner, you're going to chicken out. Because you haven't had the reps. You're not just talking to people, getting warmed up, putting shit out there and seeing what sticks. Instead, again, you're getting information. You're not being involved in your own transformation. You have to get experience. There's no way around it. It's like you asking me, how do I hit a home run in the World Series?

7:39 I'm like, well, first of all, you got to go into high school baseball, then college baseball, then whatever, quadruple A, triple A. Then maybe you get into the majors. Then you have some smaller games and build up to the bigger game. That's what you have to do. Now, obviously, in my program, I give you tons of information about how to meet girls. But that's the first tip, 20 girls a week. Second tip is you have to get on the dating apps. I know a lot of your buttholes puckered when you just heard what I said.

8:06 But I'm telling you, you have to do it. And instead of getting on one, two or three apps, get on five, six, seven apps and just blast messages. Now, fortunately, in my program, and I know this is turning into a big plug for my program, but I don't give a shit. I believe in it. In my program, I give you templates for what to send chicks. And guys usually double or triple the results after what they were first doing. In addition to that, my three hottest girlfriends go through your pictures, tell you which ones to use in which order.

8:37 I tell you which apps to get on, how to send messages. And my guys are getting tons of dates from them. Now we're approaching and ejecting or approaching and stacking and getting phone numbers from 20 girls a week. Now we're on five to six dating apps, sending out messages continuously. The third thing is what I call top of funnel ideas. This is a goldmine that, yes, I only share with paying clients who come into my program because it's such fucking gold. In fact, I had a guy just write me in there today.

9:05 What is up, Robert? He's like, bro, idea number 83 changed my life. I'm now dating five girls a week because of this one idea that I gave him. And I literally give hundreds. I give you guys a sheet that's just chock full of you could do this. You could do that. You could do this. Where to meet girls. Okay. So now we're opening and ejecting with 20 girls a week. We're getting balls and we're starting to stack as I call it. And you can look up a previous podcast episode called stacking.

9:30 We're getting phone numbers. You could look up a podcast episode, how to get a phone number. Then what we're doing is we're texting. Look up the episode about texting. We are always maintaining frame control. Look up that episode too. And we are getting girls on dates. In addition to this, we are on the dating apps. Yes, I understand. There are canyon meals, sea donkeys, and mountain trolls on there. Unfrozen cave women and chicks that look like trailer swift. But it's practice, boys. P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E needs to be your theme for the next several months.

10:03 I don't want you getting a girlfriend tomorrow, bro, because I know she's not going to be up to your standards. Why do I know that? Because you're not practiced, especially if what I'm saying is scary to you. You're like, oh, I don't want to do that. I've never been rejected. I can tell how good a guy is with women by how many times he's been rejected. Less than 10 times? Hate to say it, bro, but you suck with chicks. Hundreds of times like me, you're fucking really good with chicks.

10:23 Rejection is part of the ballgame. The problem is, is that a lot of you guys are externally validated, putting too much emphasis on what she thinks of you rather than what you think of yourself. Why not reward yourself for approaching her rather than criticizing yourself for her rejecting you? Have you ever thought of it that way? That's the way I frame it. If I go up to a girl, the only thing I care about is if I had the balls to do it. So I do it a time and time and time again.

10:49 Where I'm at now, rejection has gone way down, but it still happens. But here's the thing. I don't care what she thinks because I'm proud of myself and her opinion doesn't matter. It's like the book title that I love. What you think of me is none of my business. That's the way you guys need to think. So you're approaching and ejecting. You're starting to get numbers that way. Now you're on the dating apps. You're starting to get dates and numbers that way. Even if you go on a date with a girl who you find unattractive, who cares?

11:20 It's reps. It's practice. We are developing a skill set. How can you tell an epic story? Do a gambit. And what I suggest you do too is go into my podcast and look for anything that says attraction building technique. Oh my hell, that's fucking gold. How are you going to get good at doing those unless you practice them? Do you really think you're going to listen to a podcast episode six times and be like, okay, dude, I got it down and never done it once. And then a hottie comes walking around the corner.

11:47 You go into screensaver mode. You can't talk. You can't think everything goes out of your mind. And then when you're trying to run these techniques on her, all of which you've listened to hundreds of times on the UMP, it's out of your mind and you can't remember it. That's because you haven't been able to endure the social pressure of being in front of hot girls, talking to them, seeing how interactions go and just get comfortable. The third way to do it, as I said, is top of funnel ideas.

12:15 You put yourself in a situation where there's tons of hot chicks coming in. You're in the alpha role, which makes them more attracted to you. And then you get attraction from that. And because you've been opening people, even because you've been going on dates with girls that are not deemed worthy by your high standards, that's okay. Because you've developed a skill set and you can yank girls out of there. The fourth way is to up your social presence. Instagram is a phenomenal way to do this.

12:43 I also teach this in depth, but it's funny to me because there's a lot of guys on Instagram that will sell you courses for how to pimp out your Instagram to attract girls. And I always say, okay, yeah, that's fine. That's one small piece of the puzzle. But the way they frame it is, I'm going to teach you how to pimp out your Instagram. You're going to get tons of girls and you're going to meet your 10. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. What about all the things that happen after you guys meet?

13:09 How do you text her correctly? What happens when you get on a first date and you show up insecure, having never practiced this shit before? You have nothing to talk about, no attraction building gambits. You just thought your Instagram would make her marry you. Welcome to the real world, gentlemen. It does not work that way. You need game. You need self-belief. You need experience. Experience is going to get you a girlfriend because again, shotgun, not sniper. Shotgun means you're hitting lots of different women. I want you talking to five to 10 different chicks consistently.

13:42 Sniper means there's that one girl. I'm going to go get her. Once you've done shotgun, then you could do sniper. But until you have, it ain't going to happen, dude. I hate to break it to you. I hate to be honest with you, but that's what I feel you deserve. And me as your coach, I'm not afraid to tell you how it really is. You have to go out and meet tons of chicks from quantity comes quality. So when it comes to Instagram, you basically portray a high value lifestyle.

14:03 You communicate all those high value things like pre-selection, which means you have other attractive women in your life. You have an adventurous lifestyle. You have good style. You know how to take pictures that show scarce resources. Basically, you have access to things that other people don't have access to, such as a private jet, let's say, or you take a picture next to a nice pool, or you're up on some mountain top. This communicates that you're high value because high value men have scarce resources. And again, some people sell courses for how to do this, but is that going to get you a girlfriend?

14:36 No, because you show up on the date and you're like, I don't know what to talk about. And then you're insecure. Your mannerisms are wrong. You have bad belief systems. It's going to be communicated within milliseconds is how quickly women are able to pick up on this shit. So to get a girlfriend, you need to get a skillset. So the better title of this episode should be how to develop the skillset to attract women on command. But I wanted to throw that title at you so that you would click on it under the unrealistic expectation that your uncle Mark Singh was going to tell you five magic words to say to that next girl.

15:13 And she's going to jump into the air, slide onto your dick, ask you to be her husband and fall in love with you. It ain't how it works. Skillset. Remember from high school ball, college ball, AAA, major leagues, then World Series. Now, a lot of you are sitting there thinking, dude, this is too much hassle. Listen to my other podcast episode. Attracting women is so exhausting. It's not. It's your frame that says it is. How much experience do you have with it? Probably very little. How much experience have I, as well as my coaches, as well as the thousands of guys that I've taught have had with it?

15:46 Tons. And the amount of effort it takes is exactly how much effort you want to put into it. Sure, you should put in about, I'd say, at least five hours a week, which is what I expect of my boys when they come into my program. But is that really that much to meet your partner, the woman who you're going to spend the rest of your life with? You say you want a girlfriend, but is it just some warm hole that you can stick your dick into so it gets wet outside of the shower?

16:11 No, this is your partner. This is your soulmate. And in order to find her, you have to build the skillset. I want to drum that into your head. So even if you take one thing from this, brothers, just start talking to people more. Even men, grandpas, children, just throw shit out there, get talkative. A lot of you guys are so stifled and in your little fucking hole, you won't even go outside half the time. And I can relate to that because I used to have agoraphobia until I manned the fuck up, dealt with it with NLP.

16:38 And yes, NLP completely got me over my anxiety, agoraphobia, approach anxiety, shyness, and shyness is just insecurity, to get me out there talking to people. And then I realized, aha, people are cool when you're cool to them. Strangers are friends I haven't met yet. I could be the most charismatic dude in the room and I don't have to expend all this energy or time in order to do it. Yeah, if you're actively dating more than three girls, it becomes a very big time investment. But what I want you to do is be talking to five to 10 girls, just texting with them, throwing stuff at them on the dating apps.

17:13 Maybe you got a number and you're texting with them very innocently, but actively dating usually about three girls at a time. Can you imagine how quickly your skillset will develop if you're willing to do this? Look, if you want to get a girlfriend, you need to make it into an immersion phase. An immersion phase means you're going to focus on it, not exclusively. It doesn't mean you have to quit your job or quit your favorite hobbies, but make it something that you're actively trying to get better in, which I know a lot of you guys are doing, especially those of you who are still listening 18 minutes in.

17:43 You have to make that immersion phase and you have to go talk to chicks. How do I get good at baseball? Well, don't play baseball. Don't swing the bat. Don't throw the ball. Just watch videos all day on baseball and you'll be great at it. Bullshit. You got to go out there and talk to females and they're fucking cool. They want you to approach them. God damn it. You have no idea how many of my girlfriends say, I wish more guys would approach me. Just be cool.

18:08 Give good energy. Be that dude who wants to give value rather than take it. Be a go-giver, as I say, time and time again in this podcast. When you do that, one day a girl just may be like, hey, nice to meet you. And you're like, oh shit, I think she's attracted to me. And then you take a couple of the gambits that I've taught you, such as cold reading, storytelling, the cube, messages in water, five-finger death punch, and the myriad of other shit that I've given you and the freaking vaultful that I give you in my three-month coaching program.

18:34 And then it's over. She's super attracted. You say, hey, why don't you toss me your number? We'll catch up some other time. Then you know how to text her correctly the first time, how to do texting game, how to set up the first date, what to do on the first date. All that information is available on my podcast, but don't just be a podcast jockey. I know you're a burrito jockey and you make burritos at Del Taco, but don't be a podcast jockey. Get out there and experiment with what I teach.

18:58 Rejection is just your game. She didn't reject you. And who gives a shit what she thinks? She doesn't know you. She hasn't been what you've been through. Your opinion of yourself needs to be the most important thing. That's masculine. Did you know when you're afraid of rejection, you're in your feminine energy? You're externally validated. And who is externally validated? Women. That's why they want us to compliment them. Check them out and jock them when they have their hair perfect and their makeup on. They're externally validated.

19:27 Don't be that dude. From today forward, be like, fuck it. I'm just going to get out there and experiment. And no, guys, another podcast or another PDF or just one more round through the YouTube video, it's not going to change shit. You need to get out there and experiment. I just gave you the blueprint. What's the blueprint? Quantity, quantity, quantity. I want you filling up the top of your funnel with as much freaking rock as you can so that the gold chunks come out. But until you actually fill up your tumbler like you're an Alaskan gold miner to get some of that gold out of it, it ain't going to happen by you staring at it and saying, one day.

20:01 Don't end up like that dude I spoke to in the old folks home. Don't end up with a woman who you regret marrying because of lack of options. What kind of cowardice is that? That's my final point. Really think about it. Fuck, dude, how cowardly would that be? If I married a chick just because she chose me or I was too afraid to learn this shit and I met her at work and she kind of had a nice ass but her breath smelled like, as I said in my previous episode, a dead fish that farted.

20:30 Screw that, boys. That ain't going to be me and I know you don't want it to be you. So get out there, approach people, get talkative, listen to my podcast, gather up techniques and then go use them. And if you want the black hole shortcut like all my clients I've gotten who've come into my program, click the link below. Fill in the quick application. You and I are going to talk. Then you're going to get on a free one-hour NLP session. NLP is, again, neuro-linguistic programming to see what's going on inside your head.

20:58 The traumas, belief systems, archetypes, metaprograms, and bullshit that somebody else gave you before you could defend yourself from it. And now you're not getting the success you want with women because of what's going on inside here that you haven't addressed yet. I address that. And you can get on a free one-hour session with us to see if we can at least 10x your results with women. I'm talking more women, hotter women, higher quality women, so that from abundance, boys, you can pick your queen. Because I know that's what every single one of you boys wants and I can give it to you if you just step to the plate and practice this shit.

21:36 Once again, boys, my name is Mark Singh. I'm an NLP dating coach. If you want to meet with me, I'm open to you. In the meantime, I draw podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. Go search for those podcasts on frame control, on attraction building techniques, on things like cold reading, the cube, messages in water, as well as anything from my 550 episodes. Or again, if you want the black hole shortcut where I curate everything to you and I give you a vault and make you practice it in my three-month coaching program, apply below, bro.

22:05 It's just that easy. Let's 10x your results this year. Life is too short to end up regretting marrying a canyon mule. I appreciate you guys listening, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.