Approaching Girls Conversation Secret: "The Social Hook Point"

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And today, we are going to talk about something called the social hook point. Social hook point refers to when the girl is hooked into the conversation. We all know what it's like, or some of us know what it's like. Unfortunately, some don't.

0:38 Where you go in and you talk to a girl and she's basically really standoffish. She doesn't want to talk to you. She has her arms crossed. She's answering you with one-word answers. And you're like, what the literal fuck, dude? I'm giving this girl great value. Why isn't she participating? So I'm going to tell you guys how to get the conversation to crack open, what to look for when we're going for that all-important social hook point, and exactly what the social hook point is, and how to leverage that to continue a conversation that's going to build attraction, build her desire to want to give you her phone number, and actually text you back.

1:12 So this is a really important one. Make sure to stay tuned until the very end, because I got a lot of really great information for you boys today. Gentlemen, I want to thank you sincerely for listening to this podcast. I know you could be doing a million things right now with your time, but you've come to this episode to perhaps check out what I'm about, or more likely indulge in another episode of my material. And because of that, I want to send you a sincere debt of gratitude.

1:37 If you leave me a review, if you perhaps comment on a YouTube video, leave a comment on Spotify, iTunes, tell your friends about it, which is actually the thing that I want the most, email me at CoachMarksing at gmail.com, and I will send you three awesome programs as well as a VIP masterclass. Absolutely, if you tell your friends about it, or better yet, and this is the best thing of all, post about it on a forum, a forum where guys are talking about how to get girls, perhaps something like Reddit.

2:08 One time somebody posted on Reddit, and I got a huge influx of listeners. So if you feel that I've helped you a lot, and you want to reciprocate some of that kindness, the best thing you can do for me, the absolute best thing you can do for me is to tell others about it. Try to get more people to listen to this, because that helps me tremendously. If you do that, I will get your name tattooed on my neck. I will get a realistic portrait of you tattooed on my butt, and songs will be written about you that will be sung around campfires for generations to come.

2:36 All right, gentlemen, the social hook point. What is this? This is basically when she's interested in the conversation. As I alluded to previously, hopefully you've been opening women, and you realize sometimes they get into it really quickly, and then other times they don't get into it at all. Well, them getting into it is the social hook point. That's where you go up, start talking to them, and they're engaged in the conversation. A few things we can look for when it comes to the social hook point.

3:04 Open body language. You'll notice that when women are not interested in speaking to you, they'll be turned away from you. One thing to look for in particular is her toes pointed away from you. If her toes are pointed towards you, that's an indication of her being interested. Something else you can look for that shows she's not interested is her having her arms crossed in front of her, her answering your questions with one-word answers, and generally not being very enthusiastic. So we want her to have open body language, toes pointed towards us, her being enthusiastic.

3:37 And one thing you can really look for, and this is something I don't ever want you guys to do, but I want you to look for in women, is when her tonality goes up at the end. When your tonality goes up at the end, it means you're trying to seek rapport with somebody. It means that you're interested in them. And yes, you have hit the social hook point. So if she says something like, really? That means she's hit the social hook point. She's hooked. It's kind of like hooking a fish, right?

4:04 Once you get that bastard on your line, then you can reel them in. It's the same thing with women. And this is why, too, a lot of guys have approach anxiety. They don't want to get rejected, which I spoke about in a previous podcast, as well as myriad of other podcasts I've done in the past and will continue to do in the future. Approach anxiety is stupid. And you being afraid of what she thinks of you or her rejecting you, quote-unquote, is a bullshit fear, and fear is nothing but false evidence appearing real.

4:32 I have no place for approach anxiety because, honestly, brother, she's the one submitting the application. But invariably, we are in a situation where you're a man and she's a woman, and in today's societal constructs, it's the man who has to go approach the woman. I, again, discussed this in my previous episode. A lot of you guys have issues with this. Check out that episode. It's really good to reframe some of that anxiety. But because we have to approach the woman, it's our job to lead the conversation, to begin with asking questions, and crack open the conversation until she gets to the social hook point.

5:09 So in the beginning, you're going to be doing 90% of the talking. And yes, boys, you have to ask several questions to, again, crack open that conversation and get her engaged. What does engaged mean? Just like I said, she's leaning in. Her body language is open. She's participating in the conversation. And you can also look for something like dilated pupils. Just something to indicate, okay, this chick is interested in this conversation. She's not just trying to get rid of me. So we go in with what's called the OQQP method.

5:42 I've done a podcast on this specifically, but I'll touch base on it a little more here. If you want more information about that, just search the term OQQP method. That's Oscar, Quebec, Quebec, Papa method, and it will pop up. I suggest you listen to that. But essentially, it's like this. You open with a quick question. Then you might ask another question and perhaps another question. And then you pry open the conversation, looking for something that she said to tell a story, give some value, or get her to give value, thus reaching that all-important social hook point.

6:19 Now, when we go in with that first opener, a lot of guys want this amazing, fantastic, mind-blowing opener that's going to make her jump in the air and slide onto your dick. But gentlemen, I am telling you, from all my experience, and that's decades of experience with not only opening girls myself, but also teaching other guys to do it, the first thing you say does not fucking matter. They don't remember it. Why don't they remember it? Because they're on their back foot. They're thinking, who is this guy?

6:48 What does he want? Why is he talking to me? You ever been walking through Costco or Sam's Club and some jackass is like, hey, man, you want some new sighting for your house? And you're like, oh, my hell, get away from me. What does this guy want? Why are you talking to me? Okay, it's similar with women. And yes, boys, you might get that, why are you talking to me? Where she does have her arms crossed, she's leaning back and her toes are pointed away from you.

7:11 But the thing you have to do is endure that social pressure where she's uncomfortable. You need to be as comfortable as you possibly can and pretend it's not happening. And back to that opening line that you want to blow her mind where she immediately gets attracted to you. It doesn't matter because she's not going to even remember. I have interviewed countless women and asked them, do you remember the first thing I said to you? 90% of the time, they have no idea. What they remember is how they felt about me.

7:41 What dictates how they feel about you, how comfortable you are, how relaxed you are, how much you assume familiarity. Another podcast episode I suggest you listen to is called the AF Method. That's Alpha Foxtrot Method, which you can search and that'll pop up, assume familiarity. So it doesn't matter what you say, but obviously the easiest thing to do is just to ask a fucking question. So I'm going to give you an example of a conversation I had just yesterday because I was in Orange County, California, visiting my mom.

8:12 She lives in Irvine and I just flew back to Denver, which is where I live. I live in Morrison, Colorado, and I saw a really hot girl. So I was with Marissa and my daughter, but Marissa knows how I roll. I like to practice this shit because unlike some coaches, I actually practice what I preach. So I saw a hot girl. She's waiting for the flight, which was delayed. And I went and I talked to her. So I walked up pretending to have just arrived to the gate.

8:36 And I asked her, hey, is this flight late? Because it was late. They were supposed to board at like 2.50. It was 3.05, something like that. And so I asked her that. And she's like, yeah, I think it's about 10 minutes late. So then I said, which really wasn't that interesting, but she probably doesn't remember if you asked her today. And the conversation just happened yesterday. I was like, oh, do you have the United app? Is that where you found out? And she's like, no, they just announced it over the loudspeaker.

9:01 Okay, so I've asked two questions, both of which were pretty damn boring, but I'm getting into a conversation. I haven't yet reached that social hook point. I've asked, is the flight late? Yes, it is. Oh, do you have the United app? And she's like, no, they announced it over the loudspeaker. Okay, guys, that was literally seven seconds, but I'm in the conversation. Have I reached the social hook point yet? No, I haven't. So I'm going to continue asking questions. All I'm trying to do is pry open the conversation.

9:29 So then I made an observation about her, which is a really powerful thing to do because what's people's favorite topic? Always themselves. It's called with them. What's in it for me? All she's thinking about is, is this guy going to be entertaining or is he going to bore me with the boring ass conversation as so many other guys do? So I made an observation. I'm like, honestly, you look like you're from Orange County. I cannot see you living in Colorado. And she's like, why is that?

9:56 And her voice went up at the end. Now I've hit the social hook point. So what I did was throw out something interesting about her or something engaging that she can play ball with. It's kind of like tennis. You're hitting the ball back and forth. And now she's in. She's like, oh, really? What's that? And I was like, look at you. You got the freaking yoga pants on. You got the crop top. Your hair is all perfect. You are definitely California all the way. I'm right, huh?

10:21 She's like, yeah, I live in Fullerton. And I was like, called it. I'm like, you know what? There's 10,000 people a month who moved to Colorado. You're not planning on moving here, are you? Now I'm being a little bit challenging. And I'm also getting information about why she flew out here. So she told me, I can't even remember, that she flew out here for some conference for her work or whatever. And it turned out that she worked in human resources for this scientific lab that's trying to cure cancer or some shit.

10:49 And this gave me an opportunity to ask her about why she wanted to get into that line of work. Is she passionate about trying to cure cancer? Why would that be? What kind of shit are they doing? And then after I asked that and she told me something, she asked me what I do. And then I gave her the old ass model bit where when a woman asks you what you do, the first thing you do is tell her a joke. I'm an ass model, a dolphin trafficker, a backflip expert.

11:16 I work at the almond farm and I milk almonds, whatever is funny to you. And then I told her the real thing, which is I'm an NLP coach. And actually in this instance, I told her I was a dating coach because for me, that always gets a really good response. And then I told her some stories about my clients and about some of the things that I experienced. At that point, now I was getting attraction. So the way it works is open. They're going to be standoffish.

11:40 They're not really into it. They're giving you closed off body language. They're giving you some boring answers or they could be into it. But most of the time, it's kind of like they're wondering about you and they're kind of on their back foot. Then what you do is you be comfortable. You persevere past that. Ask a few more questions. Look for something you can pry into, such as me making the observation that she's probably not from Colorado because she looked like a fake titty platinum blonde with boltons and freaking Botox all up in the motherfucker.

12:08 And you know that chick's from Orange County. So I made that observation. She said that was correct. I gave an interesting fact about Colorado. And then boom, we're off to the races because we got that social hook point. After the social hook point, I'm giving value in the way that I teach in this podcast. But more importantly, in my three months coaching program, boom, she's getting attracted to me. But before I asked for her phone number, I was like, hey, it's good to talk to you.

12:31 I got to get back to my family now. Peace out. And I could tell she was a little disappointed, which always makes me happy because I like to get that attraction. So in the sequence of speaking to women, the very best thing you can do, brother, is just get experience speaking to women. Guys ask me all the time, do you have the perfect opening line? What do I say to this girl? She's so hot. How do I approach her? The best thing you can do is what I prescribe to my clients and hold them accountable to do so, which is to open 20 girls a week with the simple open and eject.

13:03 Open, ask a question, and then eject. Once you're comfortable doing that, open, ask a question, then perhaps another question and maybe even another question, and then try to pry open the conversation and then eject when you feel like there's too much pressure on you or maybe she's not into it or you just want to get out of there, and then you continue to push your conversations more and more and more until you can throw in some attraction building techniques and get the girl attracted to you.

13:31 Now, another huge thing I strongly recommend you guys do is tell stories. Telling stories is a way to give value, display your personality, let her experience you as if she's looking into a fishbowl and she's just kind of watching the fish or like watching a movie. You're telling a story about how, for example, the last time you flew into Orange County, the plane literally almost crashed into the 405 freeway, which goes right under John Wayne Airport, and you were scared out of your mind. You even peed a little bit, and that's a story that pertains to the situation you're in.

14:07 So, boys, one of the best things you can do, because I know you guys like to prepare, is to prepare stories for each venue that you typically go into. Let's say, for example, that you're a corporate guy wearing that three-piece noose and going into Starbucks every morning to get your morning latte. And you go into Starbucks and you always see hot girls and you're like, I don't know what to talk about. I don't know what to do here. I'm just going to not talk to them and fucking masturbate in a puddle of my own tears underneath my desk that's in a cubicle.

14:35 And I work nine to five for 25 years to hopefully earn that shiny new pen that thanks me for supporting the company for 25 years of my fucking life. Listen, I know I'm ripping on guys who have corporate jobs, but that shit ain't for me, man. I'm so fucking blessed to be able to do this. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. I do appreciate it. So, you're going into Starbucks every morning. I don't know what to talk about. Brother, tell stories. Tell stories about how the barista was mean to you.

15:03 Tell a story about how there was a fight outside the Starbucks between, I don't know, some soap dodging hippie and some tight jean wearing soy boy who plays in an Ebo band. And they were both like, ah, and they were grabbing each other's hair like a couple of girls and it was really funny. Tell stories about where you go. Do you go to nightclubs? You should have at least five stories about that nightclub specifically. You go into the supermarket. Talk about how you got yelled at because you split the bananas and the guy who was stocking bananas yelled at you because apparently you're not supposed to split them or how they changed everything in the supermarket and you can't find anything.

15:40 Do you know where the olive oil is or anything that pertains to that venue specifically? You need to have stories so that when you open, you can immediately go into a story. I opened a girl the other day in the supermarket and she had some macaroni and cheese and this is a really good tactic. So, listen up. When you see a cute girl in the supermarket, go walk by her and look in her cart and say, hey, where did you get that thing? So, if she has mac and cheese, a freaking watermelon, a dildo, whatever, just be like, yo, where did you get the magnum condoms in your cart?

16:11 I see those condoms there. I need them too. Where'd you get those things? And then she'll tell you and then you can pry open the conversation with more questions. For example, you look in her cart and there's some mac and cheese, but it's not the Kraft mac and cheese, which is poison by the way. It's the Annie's mac and cheese. So, you're like, hey, I noticed you have mac and cheese right there. Where'd you get that? She's like, oh, I think it was like a couple hours over.

16:32 You'd be like, cool. Hey, question. Why'd you get Annie's mac and cheese and not the Kraft mac and cheese? And she's like, oh, I don't know. I hear it's healthier. You'd be like, yeah. Did you hear this thing about Red 6? Well, apparently they're putting this like Red 6 stuff and all this food. It's in Skittles, it's in Doritos, it's in Wheat Thins. That's what they say. And all that stuff's been banned in Europe. Have you heard about that? And then she's like, oh my God, I haven't heard about that.

16:55 Bam, social hook point. When she's interested, when she's engaged, you've hooked her like you hooked a fish. Now it's time to get to work. You just bought yourself several minutes. So, this is how it works, gentlemen. You open 20 a week until you get used to opening. Then you do what I call stack, which is ask a couple questions. Try to pry open, based on her answers, tell a story if you can. And yes, I will tell stories within the first 30 seconds to give her a glimpse of who I am, my personality, my confidence, and then I'm off to the races, able to build attraction.

17:31 But don't get it twisted. In the beginning, what do you expect from her, bro? Do you expect her to be like, oh, hi, and like flipping her hair and freaking putting her phone number on your phone? No, she's going to be on her back foot. She's wondering, who is this guy? Is he worth my time to speak to? Is he going to suck value out of me or give value to me? Which is why you need to speak 90% of the time. Then once she's hooked, it becomes 50-50.

17:56 The best conversations are 50% you, 50% her. You're asking her questions. Hopefully, she's asking you questions and you guys are going back and forth. I understand not all girls are going to be that way. Some girls are going to want to talk 80% of it. Some girls are going to want to talk 20% of it. But it's your job to always lead it and try to get that social hook point before you go for attraction. Now begs the question that all you guys want to know, how long do you stick in there before you give up?

18:27 If she's giving me mundane, boring-ass one-word questions, how long do you stick in there before you say, hey, it was good to meet you. I'm out of here. About a minute. About a minute, maybe two. And for you guys who are really advanced, you can stick in there for three, five minutes. And I have seen some girls that it took that long to warm up. But for you guys who are mostly beginners, just give it 30 seconds to a minute. Ask a couple questions. If she's not vibing, if she's not hooking, then politely excuse yourself.

18:56 And it goes without saying, boys, don't go up with some creepy, overly invested opener where you're trying to get her phone number immediately, such as, hey, baby, I just want to make love to you until the room stinks. Do not open with that over-thirsty kind of opener. Just go in real innocent. Just ask a quick question again. She's in the supermarket. Something about her cart. She's in Starbucks. What are you drinking today? How long's the weight been? Have you ever tried this drink right here? How about the pumpkin spice latte that they rolled out with 6,000 grams of sugar?

19:30 That's going to make you look like a chicken McNugget with tits or a turnip standing vertically with a penis on it. Or in the case of her, give her a badonkadonk butt that she can't even get through the door because her ass is so big. How about that pumpkin latte? Is it any good? These basic questions. Because again, she's on her back foot. Then you pry, try to get to that social hook point where she's interested, which is indicated by open body language, dilated pupils, and her voice going up, trying to build rapport with you.

19:57 Then we get to work on a 50-50 conversation, telling stories, giving value. Then we can throw on the other shit, such as cold reading, push-pull, hypo stories, role-playing, all the shit that I teach. That gets attraction. So in the case of the chick at the airport, she's sitting there going through her phone, probably doing Instagram. Guy comes up, hey, do you know if this flight is late? Sure, she may know, okay, I'm banging. I got the yoga pants and the bolt-on titties, platinum blonde hair, and filler in my lips to make some DSLs, which is dick-sucking lips.

20:29 Of course, he's probably talking to me because he's interested. But me, being good with women, I'm calm. I'm not overly thirsty. I'm not smiling too much. I'm giving her space. I'm just talking to her like I've known her for years. I talk to her literally like I talk to Marissa. Like, hey, is this flight late? What's the big deal about that? The only thing I have to focus on is having good energy in my body and downward inflection, so I'm not trying to build rapport. It's not, hey, is this flight late?

20:55 It's, hey, is this flight late? Oh, do you have the app? Is that what they told you? No, they announced it. And then my next question, next question until she's hooked, and then I can start working my attraction-building gambits, such as getting her to talk about why she's passionate about curing cancer, telling her I'm an ass model and going through that whole bit, and then telling her what I really do. And then we're talking about other things. Guys, the way the best conversations go is this.

21:21 You go on one tangent, which breaks off to another tangent, which breaks off to another tangent, and you almost never complete a thought. Have you guys ever had conversations like that, such as with your best friend or whatever? You guys constantly are just going on tangents like this. That's the way you want those conversations to go, and that's the way she's going to feel like she has good rapport with you, and she's going to get attracted to you. Guys, it's not easy. In fact, opening on cold approach is the hardest thing you will ever have to do with women, but it's easier than you think it is.

21:53 It's less scary than you think it is. And believe me, gentlemen, most women want to be approached. If you could just come up with some good energy, don't have that supplicatory tone where your voice goes up at the end, and just give value, ask questions, pry open the conversation, make her day better than it is her just scrolling through Instagram. It's not that hard. And if you get out there and practice doing, as I make my clients do, 20 girls a week, think about it. In five weeks, that will be 100 girls that you've opened.

22:26 Just imagine how much better you'll be in five weeks than you are today if you just had the balls to try it. And if you're scared, just ask one question and then dip out. Then once you get warmed up, ask more questions, and then try to pry open the conversation. After you get to that social hook point, then you're building attraction. Again, it's not easy, and opening chicks ain't for pussies. That's why 20% of guys get 80% of the women. Those 20% of boys are coming out of my program because I hold my dudes accountable and make them do it until they realize, wow, this isn't scary.

22:58 This is, in fact, fucking awesome to get a girl attracted to you on command. There's nothing better than that. So two favors to ask you. First one is tell friends about the podcast, post about it on forums, and then email me, and I'm going to send you a bunch of cool shit. Second is go to my website, check out my program, read all the testimonials. I think I have over 300 now, and it's ridiculous. I have all these damn screenshots on my desktop that I really need to read.

23:23 Check those out. If you're interested in talking to us about joining us, where you're going to get more asked in the toilet seat, where you're going to 10X your results in three months guaranteed, apply to the program, and let's discuss it. I do appreciate you listening, gentlemen. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode. So-da! We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.