How to Win Any Argument (7 Steps to Victory!)

0:00 What's the best way to win an argument? At gunpoint, of course. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it, and today we are going to talk about how to win any argument. Seven steps to victory, victory, victory, and you too are going to be a complete victor because you are an absolute legend.

0:39 And dude, I looked shit up on the internet about how to win an argument because I definitely have my ideas, and it's all crap out there. I swear to God, there is so much bad information that I try to come in this podcast and give you shit that you can actually use, stuff that you can deploy on a girl or perhaps an asshole guy that's come into your group or whatever it is as soon as tonight. And I want to give you actual things to do that are not only very effective but super funny at the same time.

1:08 So, I said seven things that you can do. Actually, it's going to be more like eight or nine. I always over-deliver in this podcast. So, without further ado, gentlemen, let's get into it. So, what do you think the best way to win an argument is? As I said at the top of the show, of course, it's at gunpoint. But all jokes aside, the best way, obviously, to win an argument is to not get into one. When your life is good, when you're kicking ass, and when you're a high-value alpha male, getting into fights really doesn't happen anymore because your life is so good.

1:39 It reminds me of one time when I was a bouncer. There was a fight, and this guy had a drink spilled all over him. He was just a bystander. He wasn't actually in the fight, and I went up to him, and I was like, bro, I'm so sorry. Let me get you some towels. I apologize for this. And he's smiling, and he's like, it's no big deal, man. My life is so good. Shit like this can't affect me. And I looked at him, and I was like, dude, that's the philosophy.

2:02 When your life is good, you're not trying to pick fights. You're not flipping people off in your car and getting road rage. You're not getting offended by what people do, which, as I've discussed in the past, being offended is just your ego trying to claim dominance over other people. So, when you're successful, you don't get into fights. You don't get into arguments. Now, here's me saying this, but actually living it is a different story, because I will get into confrontations. I do have a short fuse.

2:31 It's something I've been working on, but invariably, sometimes you'll get into arguments. Because look, sometimes people are straight disrespectful, and in my opinion, you need to be unapologetic and tell them, hey, that behavior will not stand. Now, these next seven steps are going to teach you how to get into the argument and still have the upper hand. But before we get into all that stuff, you always catch more bees with honey. And what that analogy means is when you're cool to people, when you take the higher road, arguments are very few and far between, and you can avoid them altogether.

3:05 What's the best way to win a fight? Run away. Avoid it completely. Now, inevitably, you're going to get into some arguments because they can't be avoided. It's just how the earth works. It seems like we're all pissing in each other's rivers, launching 50-foot ropes of diarrhea into each other's morning coffees. So you're going to get into a fight. But the first two tips are this. Be cool. Always take the higher ground. Be the bigger man. When they go low, you go high. The second one is don't engage with the topic at hand.

3:35 If, for example, you're with a female and she's trying to pick a fight with you, you can either ignore it, change the topic completely, and just don't engage with it. Just be one of those dudes that's like, no, we're not doing this right now. And if you have a strong frame, you can out-frame control her desire to actually fight you or his desire to fight you. So those are the first two steps. Really, they don't have a lot to do with how to win the argument.

4:00 It's more like how to avoid it. When you take the higher ground, when you're the guy whose life is freaking awesome, you just don't get in arguments anymore because you're not butthurt. You're not mad because you're a failure. And that's always what I think of people who flip me off in traffic or are mean to me or like try to one-up me or amog me. I always think, bro, your life sucks. And sometimes I'll say that and you can throw that in as perhaps the ninth tip I'll give you.

4:27 Point out the fact that their life sucks. Why are you so angry, bro? Why is your life so horrible that you have to come at me with this energy? Do you need to talk, bro? Do you need a hug? What's your middle name, man? I want to get to know you better. And you kind of punk him like that, pointing out the fact that he's getting emotional. Why is he getting emotional? Probably because his life sucks. He gets so little sex that his dick is going to audition for the next movie of Dune because the guy is completely failing in his life.

4:54 Reggie, that one was for you. So point out the fact that, dude, your life obviously sucks. If you're going to come at me with this kind of energy, I hope things get better for you. And that's occasionally what I'll say to haters on Instagram. By the way, I've been insulted in every way you could possibly imagine. One guy said to me the other day, which actually got a good laugh out of me. He said, with a mug like that, I'm sure hope you have game. And I put a like on it because I thought it was pretty funny.

5:20 But dude, I've gotten death threats too. Obviously, I ignore the majority of them, but occasionally I'll say, hey, bro, I hope your life gets better because you're obviously suffering to a very high level if you're going to reach out to a guy like me and hate on me. I mean, if you're in that mentality, yes, you listening, examine your life, dude, because there's obviously a lot going on that isn't happening the way you want it to. And that's called the pain gap. The distance between what is and what you want is called the pain gap.

5:49 The more people are angry, the more they try to argue with you, cut you off in traffic, flip you off, the bigger that pain gap is. And you can know that and even point it out if it has to get to that point. But the higher level, of course, is to say, hey, man, I know you're suffering. I hope things get better for you. And maybe even try to help the dude out. That's like Buddha or Jesus level shit, but we're not on that level. So let's talk about other ways you can basically punk people because that's why you clicked into this.

6:18 The first and most important thing, and I really want you to make note of this, is to be the least affected, the least negatively pushed by their energy in any way whatsoever. What is a strong frame? You guys know I talk about frame control all the time. What is the essential backbone of a strong frame? It is being unaffected. Being on your inner balance point, as I call it, nobody can get you off of that. No matter what happens, you're smiling, you're happy, your life is freaking awesome.

6:48 That's a strong frame. So to be the least affected in any argument, that is not getting mad, not getting butt hurt, not getting that energy up. As I will admit, I've done a few times in my life as well. That's the way to win an argument because the person who's the most affected is the one who has the weakest frame, and I don't care what the topic is. You could be talking to one of those people that believes the world is flat, and you know so wholeheartedly that the earth is round that their argument holds no weight whatsoever.

7:18 And even if your argument is correct, science has proven it a million times, it's undoubtable if he's least affected and just like, whatever, bro, if that's what you believe, I'm afraid I can't help you with that, which is another thing I like to say. He's going to win the argument, quote unquote, because arguments imply that the topic at hand is now off the table. It doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. It now is a frame control battle. Who can control the frame, which means who can remain the least affected?

7:49 And do not get mad. Do not start shouting. Do not get into your pain body, as Eckhart Tolle calls it, which is the accumulation of pain throughout your entire life that just comes out in these types of confrontations. Do not let that happen. You have to be the least affected, even smiling. Hey, it's no big deal. We're just having a discussion here. If you believe that, I can't help you with that, bro. Sorry. Hey, you believe the earth is flat? I'm sorry, dude. I just don't agree with it.

8:18 Hey, have your belief. It's all good. But honestly, I don't agree with it. But it's cool, man. Do what you got to do. So again, be the least affected. The next one is to say how angry they are and tell them to relax. Those are my favorite five letters of the alphabet. And by the way, I had to record that freaking six times. My podcast editor, Liam, is probably laughing right now because I just told you guys to not get off your inner balance point. And I was like, I couldn't say it.

8:46 And so I got pissed. And Liam's probably laughing because I just contradicted myself. But I love to say, relax, bro. I'm not going to say that to myself right now. Relax, Mark. You got through the sentence. It's going to be okay. One time I was picking up my girl at the airport. And I had to park in this USPS parking lot. I didn't realize that I wasn't supposed to park there. So I park. I have my window down. I'm listening to some music, just chilling. My girlfriend at the time was going to fly in in like 20 minutes or whatever.

9:13 And so I'm relaxing and this angry, pissed off, absolutely apoplectic woman comes up to my window and she's like, why are you parking here? You're not allowed to park here. Did you not see the sign? You fucking idiot. Don't you know you're not supposed to park here? And I look at her and I smile and I'm like, relax, lady. Holy crap. Look at the freaking vein in your forehead right now. You are literally going to give yourself a stroke. You're up here. I need you down here.

9:43 Now, calm down. Tell me what's going on. And she's like, I just said it. You're in this parking lot and you're not supposed to be. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, you're spitting all over me. So I'm going to need you to take a step back, relax a little bit. Okay, let's breathe together. There you go. And she's just getting mad at her, right? All these veins are popping out of her head. She's hyperextending her vagina. And she's like, just get the hell out of here.

10:08 And I'm like, I hope your life gets better. And I drive off. So who won that argument? I did. Because even though she was right technically, I shouldn't have been there like a freaking idiot in their parking lot. I missed the sign. I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen. What do you expect? I still shouldn't have been in that parking lot. But when it came to the argument itself, the subject matter didn't really matter that much. What mattered is who could keep the calmest, who points out to the other person that they're coming unpeeled, losing their shooter marble, losing their precarious grasp on their own sense of reality.

10:42 And it was her. And I punked her a little bit and I drove off and I felt real good about myself, right? Patted myself on the back. But if I was that Buddha level motherfucker, I would have been like, hey, hey, hey, honestly, take it easy. What's going on here? You shouldn't be parking here. Listen, I know that you're angry right now, but I don't want to see you do that because you're going to give yourself a stroke. Like, take it easy. I'll move my car.

11:04 Apologies. Now, some of you might be getting as angry as she was saying, wait, wait, wait, apologies. This is the Unapologetic Man podcast. Yes, it is, gentlemen. But unapologetic means you don't apologize for who you are, what you believe, the fact that you're attracted to women and you're a sexual man who's highly masculine and has a shit ton of testosterone. But if you fuck up, as I did, you could say, hey, I'm sorry, relax a little bit. I'll get out of your way, which is what I should have done in that situation, taking that higher ground.

11:36 But if you want to punk somebody, point out how pissed off they are while you stay calm. So ridiculously effective because honestly, it just makes them more mad. And then it proves your point even further, thus letting you win that argument. The next one is about them attacking your character. And this happens a lot in arguments, especially between people who are right-winged and people who are left-winged, where the Republicans will accuse the Democrats or the liberals or whatever of being pussies and soy boys and whatnot.

12:08 And the liberals will accuse the Republicans of being selfish pricks who love their guns and just want to take all the natural resources for their own selfish uses. So they're really fighting each other. And what you'll see is they'll start attacking each other's character. Oh, you don't care about anybody but yourself. Oh, you're such a pussy. Your nickname in high school was Vagina Face. And then your nickname in college was Cinnamon Muff. So what they're trying to do is attack the person's character because they've run out of arguments to make on the logical side of things.

12:37 So I can't win the argument here. So I'm just going to call you a piece of shit. So when they do that, you roll out the whole, is that what you do method? The is that what you do method is something I came up with having lots of arguments, particularly with women, more like frame control battles with women, where they'll say something really mean to me in the beginning of a conversation. And I'll say, is that what you do? Some guy comes up to you and he starts talking to you and you just immediately point out how, for example, his shoes are dumb or his hair looks ridiculous.

13:08 Is that what you do? And this points out the fact that she's being a little bit socially inept. She's being a little bit cruel. She's going to a level of depravity that basically shows just kind of how unintelligent she is. And she's falling back on trying to insult you. So while they're trying to attack your character on the insult level, what you do is flip it back on them. And this is called reframing, shifting the table so that now we're looking at them. So they attack you because let's say you are a Republican.

13:37 They're like, I can't believe what a piece of shit you are. All you want to do is take, take, take. You voted for that asshole Trump. Whatever they say, you say, is that what you do? We're having a discussion here. We're trying to discuss the point. And now you're attacking my character. Is that the kind of person you are? You call me a piece of shit. You don't know me. Is this what you do? This is how you try to win the argument. That's a pretty low strategy, if I'm honest.

14:03 And I'm afraid I can't help you with that. So you might want to consider working on that, trying to up your level a little bit. Because right now you're trying to take some low blows and it's not working for you. Just being honest. So again, it's the, is that what you do method? Pointing out their behavior and questioning it. Saying, wow, this is how you're behaving? You're actually trying to attack me on a personal level when what we're talking about is politics or religion. And this, by the way, boys, is why you should never talk about politics and religion with a female, especially in the first couple dates, the first conversation.

14:38 Now, obviously, if you meet her at Christian band camp where you're playing the trumpet and she's playing the flute, hopefully the skin flute, then obviously you could talk about religion. But if you meet her at a nightclub, a coffee shop, supermarket, wherever, the typical places we meet females, stay away from those topics. They usually end in an argument or at the very least, they kill attraction immediately. All right. The next step to win any argument is to give the other person an out. And when I say out, that's O-U-T, an escape, an exit.

15:11 When I was in high school, this freaking jackass stole my hacky sack. And I knew that motherfucker did that, but I didn't want to confront him because he was a little older than me. He was a bit of a bully. And I knew he just would have stomped me out like the pussy I was. So what I did is I gave him an out. I saw it in his bag very clearly. And I said, bro, you found my hacky sack? Thank you so much, man. I've been looking everywhere for that.

15:36 I really appreciate you, bro. And then I grabbed it and I was like, thanks, dog. And like I did the old hand slap to the back tap. And he's just standing there like the idiot that he was, completely dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. And he's like, sure, man, no problem. So by giving him that out, it gave him an excuse to basically lose the argument. Because had I attacked him frontally, it probably would have blown up in my face. Speaking of hacky sacking, have you guys ever seen that show Between Two Ferns with Jack Galifianakis?

16:06 That is the funniest shit I've ever seen. And he was interviewing Matthew McConaughey. And he's like, Matthew, are you ever disappointed that somewhere in the world, there's not a sack being hackied? I thought that was so funny, dude. And Matthew McConaughey did too, because he has a strong frame, right? He didn't get insulted by it. He laughed about it. So when someone insults you, such as that guy saying to me, it's good you have game with a mug like that, it made me laugh, which shows security inside yourself.

16:40 That's why we want to be the least affected. All right, a couple asshole maneuvers that I like to do. When somebody's arguing with me, and I even do this with females when they're talking to me, they'll be talking and I'll put up my finger and I'll be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then they'll shut up and then I'll let a few seconds pass and I'll say, continue. So by doing that, which admittedly is a bit of an asshole move, but in an argument, if you tell the other person, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, and stop them, then you just showed frame control.

17:10 You showed them who's really winning the conversation. Could you imagine that lady coming up to me in that parking lot yelling at me and I'm like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, and she stops talking? She just acquiesced to my power. And then I let a few seconds pass and then I say, go ahead, continue, thus giving her permission, quote unquote, to continue yelling at me. But really what was shown is I'm the one controlling the situation. You're following my lead because you just followed my lead.

17:37 Therefore, I'm winning the argument. The next one I like to do is so fucking funny. Have you guys ever been stared down by a dude or just glared at by a chick and it's silent between you two? I saw this on some cartoon movie my daughter was watching. I think it was Angry Birds or something. But the character was giving the other one stink eye, kind of staring at him very quietly. And the character who was being intimidated, the one who was being stared at, looks at him and he's like, are you communicating with me telepathically?

18:09 So it points out the fact that the person's like mad dogging you, like trying to scare you. And then you just totally make a joke about it. Like, are you communicating with me telepathically? Wait, wait, I'm getting a message. You love me? You want to be my best friend? Come here, bro. Hug it out. And that's what you do too. You always want to try to be the dude's friend. Try to take the upper ground. Say, relax, bro. We're just messing around. Why are you getting so fired up, dude?

18:34 Don't worry about it. Like I said earlier, hey, man, I want to know your last name. And that came from a friend of mine who was getting in a fight where they were playing pool. And the other guy's like, motherfucker, you don't know me. You don't know me. And he's like, I want to know you, bro. What's your middle name? And the guy just got even more pissed off. So it's all about being the dude who's calmest, almost smiling in a way. And then when they get pissed off, you're basically pointing out the fact that like that woman who was yelling at me in the parking lot, her freaking vein is going to pop out of her head and she's going to give herself a stroke.

19:08 If they attack your character, you could say, is that what you do? Then you could give them an out so that they can feel like they didn't lose the argument too bad like I did with that hacky sack guy. And then you can do the wait, wait, wait, continue maneuver or the are you communicating with me telepathically maneuver. All really powerful stuff. So, gentlemen, I hope you got a lot out of this. But, again, I have to say, man, as an unapologetic alpha silverback, we shouldn't be getting into arguments.

19:35 We should be trying to help people, bring people up. Why? Because your life is fucking awesome, man. You're one of life's big success stories. And the happier you are and the less you fight, the more it subcommunicates both to yourself as well as to women that you are a high-value man. And women are attracted to men who stay on that all-important inner balance point. So, be unaffected, man. Just like me on Instagram. Do you understand how much hatred I get? As a dude who's a dating coach for men, could I put myself out there any further?

20:09 But as a very successful man once said, when you're hiking up a river, do not stop to deal with the piranhas that are biting at your ankles. Because if you stop, only more are going to come and you're going to get overtaken. You just take the hits with a smile, be unaffected, it doesn't bother you, and then you continue up the mountain. Because people are straight-up peanut butter and jealous. They're going to hate on you when you are succeeding. So, take it as a compliment. When you take it as a compliment, you can keep the frame, you can stay unaffected, and yes, brother, you will win that argument.

20:44 Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. As a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, and your patronage, your listening, lending me your time twice a week is so unbelievably appreciated that I'm going to continue to work hard to deliver actionable, tangible content that you can use today to become that next-level dude. I sincerely appreciate you listening, and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.