The 2nd Most Common Mistake of Men Who Suck With Women – "The I.O.S. Effect"

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me on another ass-kicking episode that I hope is going to enlighten some of you guys because honestly, one of the biggest issues with guys making excuses as to why they can't approach women, why they're not able to get the kind of girl that they want is because they have this thing called illusion of superiority.

0:39 The ego, which is extremely powerful, and we all know this, is not your amigo. It is going to screw you in the butthole like Ron Jeremy in a midget colony. So we need to be very pragmatic. We need to be very realistic with ourselves when it comes to our ego and question boys. Life is oftentimes just about questioning everything. I've been doing a lot of podcast episodes about questioning the food you eat, the types of detergents you're using, the body wash that you're using, as well as questioning yourself.

1:11 Why do I believe this thing? Why do I believe that I'm not enough or I shouldn't approach women? Why do I believe that girls are too good for me? Why do I believe that she'd be better with another dude? And oftentimes, why do I believe that I'm actually superior to her? Women are pieces of shit. They can't be understood. They're emotional. They're illogical. Why do I believe that? Is it because it's true? Does it speak to the majority of my experience? Or is it because I'm essentially butthurt?

1:38 And my ego, which again is not my amigo, is trying to convince me of something to simply make me feel better. And that's what this episode is about. So the illusion of superiority is often seen in guys who are a little bit older, who are successful monetarily, who are intelligent. But this can also be seen in younger dudes. And I've seen it many times in guys I've spoken to, friends I have, acquaintances, and oftentimes clients will come into my coaching program. And just by the way they speak about women, just by the way they talk about their own experiences, I can tell they're very, very bitter.

2:13 And their ego has mapped this meta program inside their head that they are essentially superior to women, and that women are less than they are. Women are stupid. They're emotional. They can't be trusted. And they're basically dumb asses. And this is why the guy hasn't achieved success with women. So what's interesting about the ego is it's going to use whatever it can to build you up. And I want each of you guys to look at yourself with an honest, deep look in the mirror. What has your ego done to build yourself up?

2:45 Even if it's a victim mentality, your ego will grab onto anything in order to make yourself feel better than others, make yourself feel alive in this world, worth it in this world. And even if you're like a friend of mine who constantly posts on Facebook what a victim he is, his ego has rationalized to himself that he's more of a victim than you are, therefore he's better than you. Look at that. I'm victimized. People hate me. And in his deal, he's all about his own nationality, his religion.

3:20 He thinks everybody's attacking his religion. And he's basically using that to be superior over other people because you haven't suffered like he has. You don't know what he's gone through. And this happens with guys when it comes to women. Guys will often think, well, women are stupid. They don't understand anything. They're emotional. They're illogical. And they don't get it. That's why they don't like me. I'm actually quite a bit superior to women. I'm way smarter than they are. I'm way more talented and I'm way more successful than these idiots.

3:52 Fuck women. They don't understand me. And that's why they're not attracted to me. And this is what the ego will do to make excuses for your failures. And I hate to kind of put that out to you in such an obvious way, but honestly, it's true. If you want something and you're not able to get it, that is a failure. Now, am I saying that you're a failure as a human being? No, you've just failed in this avenue of attracting women. It's one single avenue. Has nothing to do with money.

4:23 Has nothing to do with your health or your self-worth as a man. It's just a skill set that you failed with. But oftentimes we wrap it up into our ego so much because unfortunately we think that, well, if women don't approve of me, then I'm not worth it. Because we have meta programs based around our mother, the feminine archetype, there's some really serious, heavy shit going on when it comes to women's opinion of us and our opinion of ourself. So to save one's quote unquote self-esteem, they will rationalize that it's the woman's fault and they're actually superior to women.

4:55 And this is what I want you to look for in yourself. Are you bitter against women? Do you think that women are, as I said, illogical, bad drivers, can't be trusted? Oh, all women cheat. All women have a side dude. All women are going to eventually lose their shoe to marble, become cat ladies and go completely insane, divorce me and take all my money. There are a ton of dudes listening right now, and maybe it's you and maybe it isn't, that believe that. I want to ask you, if you were to believe that, and some of you do, and I want you to be straight up with yourself, do you think that helps you or hurts you when it comes to this skill set of being able to attract women on command?

5:39 Obviously, it hurts you. Have you ever heard of the concept that when you like other people, they like you? One of the best ways you can be liked by others is to simply like them, see the good in them, be joyous that you're meeting them, be happy when they show up or call you on the phone. Be stoked that they're in your life and genuinely be interested in them. Ask them questions about themselves. Listen and be curious about who they are. That's the way to be liked.

6:02 So do you think that if you hate women and resent them, they're going to like you? Of course not. They're going to resent you because they're going to feel the resentment from you. And oftentimes, as I said, guys will rationalize their hatred towards women by saying, I'm superior to them and women are stupid. They're below me. They're idiots. Like the guy who always makes jokes about how women can't drive or how women are unreliable. Or, and this is the worst thing you could possibly do, so please make note of this for your future, ripping on your wife in front of others, criticizing her, putting her down, saying, oh, she's a woman.

6:42 She can't be trusted. Guys, do not go down that rabbit hole that so many guys do. Life's a bitch and then you marry one. Yeah, it's a funny joke and we can joke around with our friends, but it has detrimental effects. The illusion of superiority. Now, here's the next phase. Oftentimes, guys won't approach girls for this single reason. And I know a large percentage of you are doing this as we speak. You look at a girl and you say, dude, I'm not going to give that chick the power to reject me.

7:13 Me? I'm an unapologetic silverback legend. I'm not going to give that chick the opportunity to reject me. Fuck her. I'm not going to approach her. How many of you guys, and be honest with me now, have used that rationale? You may think to yourself, dude, this is so unfair. Why do I have to put myself out there? Why do I need to approach her when, as Mark Sing always says, in which I believe too, I don't know this chick. Yeah, she's hot, but how do I know she's worth anything?

7:44 How do I know if she's interesting? And you use that to rationalize yourself out of it. It's an illusion of superiority. Who is she to be able to judge me? But as I hope you can see, you're analyzing it on the wrong channel. You're saying that she's approving of you or not? No, she's not. You're going to see if she's interesting. You're going to see if she makes the cut. And there's two people here, and they can both reject each other. So when approaching a woman, here's the right mentality to have.

8:10 Is she good enough for me? And, and this is hugely important, I want you guys to listen. I am not going to let her beauty, her sexiness, her long legs, tight ass, beautiful tits, and perfect face intimidate me. I am going to overcome that intimidation because I'll tell you boys, while you think you're rationalizing yourself out of not approaching her because you're superior to her, or you don't want to give her the power to reject you. Here's what I think when you don't approach a girl.

8:41 And when I don't approach a girl, I think she beats you, brother. You got fucking whooped by this chick because you didn't have the balls to approach her and you let her beauty win. Rather than letting her reject you, what I frame it as is that you bitched out because she was too hot for you to deal with. So the ego is very cunning. It comes through the back door. It will rationalize with you in ways that you will not believe in order to essentially keep you safe.

9:11 And here's the thing about approach anxiety, not wanting to be with girls is there's a part of you that's trying to keep you safe. And oftentimes we fight that part of us. We call it a pussy. We say, why are you doing this? You shouldn't be doing this, which as I always say, you're shooting all over yourself. But here's the technique to get over those insidious ego plants or those parts of you that are trying to keep you healthy and safe. What you say to them is, listen, I know what you're doing.

9:37 I know you're angry at women because you've been hurt and you're trying to rationalize to me that women can't be trusted and you're doing it to keep me safe. You're telling me such things as don't approach that girl to keep me safe. And I appreciate that. I appreciate that you're trying to keep me safe. But here's the thing. It's keeping me lonely, dude. It's keeping me miserable. The fact that I don't have a warm girl in my bed who's sexy and fucking nurturing and feminine and romantic and who can suck a mean dick and when that ass is up high, it makes me want to cry is a tragedy.

10:14 Because gentlemen, your health and testosterone is highly mixed up into your ability to be able to get women. So yeah, there's a part of you that's trying to keep you safe by not approaching girls, not being with women, rationalizing that you're somehow superior to them because they're stupid and emotional and you're so smart and talented, no girl's even good enough for you. So you rationalize yourself out of approaching them, dating them, settling down with them. And then what happens? You're lonely. Did you know that being alone is equivalent to smoking something like 10 cigarettes a day?

10:48 Every day that you're alone, feeling that loneliness, that sadness of not being able to attract and pair bond with a woman is the equivalent to smoking packs and packs and packs a year of cigarettes. Is that worth it? Of course, it's not gentlemen. Look, I relate to you brothers. I know it's a shit show out there. I know it's difficult. I know that the dating game seems to be rigged against guys like you who may not be naturally good looking, naturally charismatic. You may be an introvert.

11:17 You may be short, fat, ugly, quote unquote, bald, whatever it is that's holding you back. I get it, brother. I was a skinny, insecure, anxiety-ridden pussy who couldn't get laid if I was in a Tijuana brothel with $100 bills strapped to my penis and a freaking deldo tied to my forehead. I could not get laid. So I feel you, brother, but you have to question why it is that you still are single. Question your belief systems. Question how you've rationalized how women aren't X, Y, Z, fill in the blank.

11:48 And know that you can master this game. And here's the beautiful news. Even if you're suffering, even if you've had loss after loss after loss, I want to tell you, do not let that insidious ego rationalize to you why you should just give up women completely. Join the Mitt Gal. Men go in their own way, which is totally anti-woman and I don't need them. I can do it all myself. Honestly, bro, you do need women and you can figure this out. So if you're suffering, do not let your ego take you down the insidious route of blaming women.

12:24 Do not let your ego prevent you from approaching women because you think, oh, I'm above her. Why would I give her the chance to reject me? Reject me? Fuck her. She doesn't get that opportunity and instead reframe it and make yourself go out there and approach her knowing you're the prize. You're the hot chick. That penis in your pants, brother, is the prize, not the vagina in her pants. It's all about reframing. We're in this game. And yes, I know the game fucking sucks for some of you, but you can win it.

12:53 What makes you more of a man? Figuring out how to win the game, figuring out how to have command over women's attraction for you, where you can literally flip attraction hot switches at will, or just giving up and being bitter and dying an old bitter man who never got this figured out because yeah, you were dealt some mean hands in life. But I'm telling you, brothers, I have worked with thousands of clients, many of whom were probably way worse off than you are. So you can do it, but do not let your ego take you down that insidious road of blaming women, rationalizing you're somehow superior to them so you don't need them, or worse of all, saying men go in their own way.

13:35 We don't need chicks. Let's just be alone and masturbate in a puddle of our own tears. Believe me, that's not the way your life is supposed to go. So watch out for this trap, the illusion of superiority, thus making you lonely. Tackle it frontally, address it as if it's standing right before you and forgive it and say, hey, brother, I know you're trying to keep me safe. I honor that. I thank you. But that's not going to keep me safe, man. It's going to keep me lonely.

14:05 It's going to keep me miserable. I don't know about you guys, but do you want to end up in the old folks home alone? Nobody to come visit you? No grandchildren bouncing on your knees on Christmas? That's not for me, man, and I don't think it's for you either. We as men want a paragon. It's in our nature. Our health is literally contingent upon it. So don't give up on the game by letting your ego rationalize yourself out of it. Instead, master the game. Figure it out because it can be mastered no matter what limitations you're going up against.

14:35 I have a guy in a wheelchair in my program right now. I have a deaf dude. What's up, Bob? I have guys who are Indian, Asian, short, ugly, bald, fat, have tons of issues with their health. Whatever excuse you can think of, I have helped guys overcome them. So the first step, brother, before you even apply to my program and work with me is to question, what are you doing to rationalize yourself out of the game? Question it, thank it for trying to protect you, and then reframe it so that you start approaching women knowing you're the prize, my friend.

15:06 They're the ones submitting the application, and you're walking up to them thinking, hmm, I wonder if she's going to make the cut. Once you reframe it like that, this illusion of superiority where you're convincing yourself to not speak to women because you're so superior to them gets thrown out with yesterday's garbage because it is insidious, and I see it all the time. So I hope that me introducing this concept to you has, one, helped those guys who are doing it already, and two, helped those guys who may end up doing it in the future because not being good with chicks fucking sucks.

15:40 I so empathize with you. I have so much compassion for you if you're in this situation, but here's the good news. It can be learned. It can be mastered. Imagine how good it would feel to be able to flip attraction hot switches on command. Love women. Cherish them. Bask in the feminine glory because there's so much positivity about it. Once you start thinking that, women are going to like you more. You're going to approach them from the perspective of who are you rather than let me prove myself to you, and then everything changes.

16:16 So question yourself, boys. Question everything. I feel like that's been the lesson of the last few weeks, and I hope it's opening your mind and making you do such things because your reality is very much in your control. You're a very powerful creator, so create that which you desire most. Pair bonding with a woman is definitely part of that. You wouldn't be listening if it wasn't. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. As a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.