7 Proven Strategies to be More ALOOF With Women (THIS IS A MUST DO!)

0:00 Women want to know that you can do better than them. They want to know that they got the best guy possible. This is why you hear about female hypergamy. Women are always trying to date up. So when you're that dude and you show her, look, girl, I could get any other girl I want. You're not necessarily getting all my attention, which is where we're going to work in the aloof strategy. They will get more attracted to you because of that, and they will stay with you when you have these priorities straight.

0:28 So really listen closely, gentlemen. I'm going to drop gold in your lap today. Let's get into it. The Unapologetic Man Podcast. What's another name for coming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Uniform Mike Papa, The Unapologetic Man Podcast. I super appreciate you joining me. And today, boys, we are going to talk about being aloof. Now, if that little joke I just said got you a little butt hurt, if it hurts your feelings, then kick rocks with your head down.

1:01 Don't let the door hit you with a good Lord split you up. Beat it, you fucking sea donkey. Click out of here because we are going to talk about being aloof with women, and that's going to get you even more butt hurt if you are indeed that hypersensitive. Now, over recent episodes, I've been talking about how you need to have warmth with women, how you need to listen to them with empathy, do some chivalrous things. And as I always do in this podcast, I try to bring you guys balance.

1:28 I always tell you, yes, you have to be cool. You have to build rapport. You have to build trust and connection with the woman. But at the same time, you need to show her you're not to be fucked with. You need to be a little bit aloof. She needs to know that you can get other girls. So it's that balance, boys. And so many guys go to one extreme or the other. Either they get in the friend zone because they're Mr. Nice Guy, fluffing her feathers, blowing smoke up her ass, or they're an asshole.

1:56 They have tons of game, and she wants to have sex with you, but she just doesn't trust you. So we need to get that balance. Now, obviously, boys, I'm going to say some things today that might get you pissed off, but I want to reiterate that I absolutely love women. I respect them. I believe it's like the sacred feminine, and women have a power that us men do not have. Yes, we have power as men too, but that's masculinity and femininity. Masculinity has its advantages. Femininity has its advantages.

2:25 So I don't want you to misinterpret. I don't want you to get butthurt and fucking send me an angry email. Everything I say here is simply a strategy to derive attraction. It's not a statement about how I intrinsically feel about women because I love women. I have a six-year-old daughter. I absolutely cherish her. I cherish my wife, Marissa, who honestly I'd die for. So before you send me that hate mail, just know that this is entertainment. This is strategy. And at the end of the day, we love and cherish women.

2:56 And actually, we're doing this so that they can feel good to get attracted to us so that we don't blow ourselves out. So in a way, boys, everything I teach that some of you guys get butthurt about and women listening, oh my hell, do they get butthurt? It's for your advantage. It's because if you fuck up and become Mr. Nice Guy or do too much game, she's not going to trust you or she's going to put you in the friend zone. So it's almost like I'm teaching you how to behave so that she can feel good getting attracted to you and you can take her on the experience that she wants.

3:28 What do I always tell you guys? Lead women to where they want to be led. And this is part of it. Women want, prepare yourself here. Some of you might get butthurt. Women want to know that you can do better than them. They want to know that they got the best guy possible. This is why you hear about female hypergamy. Women are always trying to date up. So when you're that dude and you show her, look, girl, I could get any other girl I want. You're not necessarily getting all my attention, which is where we're going to work in the aloof strategy.

3:58 They will get more attracted to you because of that and they will stay with you when you have these priorities straight. So really listen closely, gentlemen. I'm going to drop gold in your lap today. Let's get into it. So as I alluded to previously, women want to know that you're the prize. You're the one who's being chased. You're the fucking alpha leader. How many of you guys have been on a date with a girl who you weren't that into, right? She may be a little bit heavier than she was in her pictures.

4:25 She had a weird voice. Maybe she smelled weird. She had a fucking bean on her tooth. She kind of looked like Trailer Swift or Tweaker Bell and you're like, oh, I'm not really into this girl. So while you're speaking to her, you're like, yeah, I'm not so into it. You just automatically were aloof, weren't you? She couldn't quite get your attention when she brought up shit that you weren't interested in. Maybe you were looking around the room. You challenged her a little bit because you didn't give a shit about what happens.

4:52 This is the same way we need to be with girls who we are attracted to. You need to be a little bit aloof. She needs to have to fight for your attention just a little bit. She needs to know that your attention is a highly valuable thing and she can't get it so easily. What do most low value guys do? They're really excited. They have a big smile on their face. They're trying to get commonalities. They agree with everything she says and consequently, they get slapped into the friend zone.

5:20 So again, we need that balance. We need warmth, comfort, connection. But at the same time, we need to be aloof. How aloof? About 10%. Now, when I say aloof, it's exactly as it sounds. It means she's not getting your attention. You're interested in something else. You're getting bored. You're looking away. You're yawning. You're thinking about other things. Maybe even checking your cell phone without being a dick now. We don't want to be disrespectful. But she needs to know that your attention is a little bit hard to get.

5:49 So when you were out on the date with that Ham Planet fatty, who was 70 pounds different than her fucking pictures on Hinge and Match.com, you're like, what the fuck, dude? Why did these chicks show up looking completely different? Because these chicks know that their pictures are going to get them dates. But do you agree with me? Like, why did they fucking show up fat? And you're like, dude, when did you take these pictures? This was like 20 pounds ago. Do you really feel like this was honest?

6:15 Like girls get butthurt when we lie about our age or we lie about how tall we are, yet they put pictures of themselves when they were a fucking fitness model 10 years ago and they're 50 pounds heavier. So you're on a date with this chick and you're kind of like, yeah, yeah, whatever. I just want to get this over with. And then she gets attracted to you. You guys have all experienced this. This is because we as humans always want what we can have and we will always go after that which seems hard to obtain.

6:43 This is a classic sales technique. Hey, we have a line of applicants. We only have so many products. So you're going to have to wait. You're going to have to apply. You're going to have to qualify in order to get that. You need to be perceived the same way. Brothers, you're the prize. The red helmeted warrior in your pants is the fucking trophy that she's going after. You have a line of girls waiting to date you and she's the one submitting the application. So when you're speaking to her, you want to put about 10% of aloofness into it.

7:14 Once again, aloofness is kind of looking away, maybe staring at her forehead in a weird way like you're thinking about something else. Another strategy is to back channel at the wrong time. I'll get into that in a second. But essentially, she just can't get you and you want about 10% of that. Now, I told you in a previous episode that you also want to be warm. You want to build trust and connection. But think about this. It's that hot cold, right? That push-pull. That kind of vibe where he's into me yet he's not into me.

7:44 He pays attention yet he doesn't. That's what gets attraction and you guys have all experienced that. Most of you guys have been highly attracted to a girl who you couldn't quite get. She was kind of into you sometimes and when she was, it was like really good and then she wasn't available. You couldn't quite get her attention and you've also had girls into you, most of you, where you weren't really into her but she was like a moped, fun to ride but you didn't want to be seen with her.

8:10 You gave her a couple days a week and she fell super in love with you. Well, guys, this is the way it works. Women want what they can't have and you need to be a little bit out of her grasp, a little bit aloof. How much? 10%. And I specifically do this when she brings up shit that isn't conducive to attraction. So for example, you're on a date with her and she starts complaining about something. Her job, her friends, her mortgage, her apartment, her anal bleaching appointment that got canceled.

8:40 You need to understand that dealing with humans and also women is a lot like dog training. When they do what you want, you reward them. When they do what you don't want, you punish them. It's very simple. So she starts complaining about her anal bleaching and you're like, oh my hell, dude, how is this conducive to attraction? It isn't. So I'm going to kind of look away. I'm not going to be interested. I'm going to back channel at the wrong time, which I'm going to get into in a second.

9:06 Then she feels that, oh, I'm not getting his attention. I'm not getting his attraction. And she'll probably switch topics to which now she's talking about how she's attracted to you or you guys should do XYZ thing. You want to reward that behavior. Again, dealing with human beings is a lot like dog training. You do what I want, you have fun. You do what I don't want, you don't have fun. So when she's talking about boring shit or shit that isn't conducive to attraction, politics, religion, or her being negative in any kind of way, you start looking away.

9:40 You seem disinterested. Maybe you get a look on your face like your whole table was sprayed with shit mist. I call it cake face because I'm going to show you a picture. When I was 10 years old, I think I was around 10, my brother had his 15th birthday and he's blowing out the candles and I have this look on my face like, again, I just got sprayed with shit mist because I was fucking pissed off that idiot, that moron, got a fucking birthday cake and I didn't.

10:04 So I'm looking up at him like, ah, you fucking moron, right? And we call it cake face. Marissa always laughs at me. She's like, you just did cake face which is kind of like, ah, god damn this guy, this look I get on my face, I'm going to throw cake face at her. And again, if you're watching on video, I just showed you a picture and I do that to this day unconsciously when people kind of piss in my river or they're doing some shit I don't like.

10:29 So I might give her cake face or I might question her. Is this how you do it? You go on a date with a guy and you start talking about negative things like look what you did. For the past two minutes, you've been complaining about your boss. I mean, I get it. That day kind of sucks and I hear you. But at the same time, do you think this is what you should be talking about on a first date? And furthermore, you do understand that what you put out there energetically comes back to you, right?

10:53 When you put out negativity, when you complain, you do know about the law of attraction. The universe is a mirror. What you put out there comes back to you. So you're doing this on a first date. I kind of have to wonder, is this often how you are? Are you like kind of a negative person? Now what that does is it sets the precedence that she has to kind of sell herself to you. You kind of corrected her, let her know, hey, you fucked up a little bit.

11:18 This is a first date and here you are complaining. This builds attraction because it shows, A, you're not to be fucked with. B, you're not going to put up with the complaining. And C, you mentor her. Show her a different way to be that's better, more conducive to her happiness, which we're all trying to achieve. Now I mentioned back-channeling. Back-channeling is when somebody is talking and you say, oh really? Uh-huh. Oh yeah, no shit. It's those words you say to let that person know that you're listening and you're paying attention.

11:49 Now you guys should do good back-channeling when she's talking about things that are conducive to attraction and you should do bad back-channeling when she's saying shit that isn't conducive to attraction. So she's talking about how she wants to go on a different date with you or she wants to go to the hot tub and you guys are going to play Truth or Dare, which is the most gangster way to sexually escalate. Truth or Dare in the hot tub. If you didn't hear my episode about that, I definitely suggest you check it out.

12:16 But she's talking about that. You're going to back-channel at the wrong times. You'll be like, oh yeah? Tell me more about that. And you're in it. You're looking at her. You're present, like I talked about in a recent episode, meaning you're not thinking. You're just there with her. You're feeling your heart. She feels you. Listening to her. But then she starts complaining about, I don't know, her alcoholism. She's like, you know, I didn't drink for 11 years, but then I turned 12. And you're like, oh my God, dude, this chick's a fucking total alcoholic.

12:44 She's talking about it and all like the negativity. Now, of course, if it's like a struggle that she got past or you feel like you want to empathize with it, fine. You can listen to her. You can give her that space. And this is for you guys to decide. And yes, this takes some experience and some social intelligence, some social calibration. But if she's just like fucking routely complaining, just oblivious to any kind of positivity, just going for the negative, this is when you backchannel at the wrong time.

13:11 You're like, uh-huh. Oh, really? Yeah. Hmm. Got it. Got it. And you're kind of trying to like rush her through it. Have you guys ever experienced this? You're talking to somebody, they're backchanneling at the wrong time. You're like, dude, this motherfucker isn't even listening to me. It usually comes with socially unintelligent people, but I'm going to do it when someone's complaining or being negative. One of my favorite quotes comes from Jocko Willink. He's an ex-Navy SEAL. He has a Jocko podcast. Fucking legend, this guy, dude.

13:39 I seriously want to get this guy's face tattooed on my ass. This guy's a fucking champion. He has this quote that I absolutely love. It's called, all your excuses are lies. I absolutely love that because it's true, man. Any excuse you make is a fucking lie. It's just a reason you're creating to make up for your lack of performance or your lack of being fucking disciplined. So when she's like making excuses to me or doing shit like that, I'm going to backchannel at the wrong time.

14:04 I'll be like, oh, really? Oh, seriously? Or I'll fucking check my phone or I'll call the waitress over and kind of start chatting with her. I'm willing to be a little bit disagreeable, boys. And you need to be that way too. Question, girls. Why are you wearing that? Why'd you order that? Why'd you just say that? And when they're doing shit that isn't conducive to attraction, remember what I said. Dealing with women is a lot like dog training. When they do what you want, they have fun.

14:29 When they do what you don't want, they don't have fun. Very simple. And frankly, boys, dealing with anybody is like dog training. You have an employee, you know how it works. If the guy's a fucking dick, he doesn't get a raise. He doesn't get your attention. He doesn't get a good review that quarter. But when he is a good worker, you reward him bonuses. You compliment him. It's very simple. And it's just like dog training. You can't let women or men or anybody for that matter get away with behavior that isn't conducive to attraction.

14:57 I saw a guy the other day I was like eavesdropping on a table where this dude was kind of newly boyfriend and girlfriend with this chick. And in my opinion, I could just tell I'm a dating coach. I can just read people like a book. He probably gave her the girlfriend label way too early. So she kind of snapped at him. I didn't hear what she said, but what I saw absolutely blew my mind. She snapped at him and he's like, oh, I was just kidding.

15:22 Guys, he just lost all frame. He set the precedence that he can be fucked with and he's going to collapse under her social pressure. The way she snapped at him was really disrespectful. It was like that time when Alec Baldwin's wife snapped at him on live TV. I would have fucking broken up with her on the spot. I mean, I probably would have waited until we were off TV, but I've been like, yeah, you're done. You can't disrespect me like that in front of millions of people.

15:48 So here she goes snapping at him and he's like, oh, I was just kidding or whatever the hell he said. And I was like, dude, you literally lost all frame in three seconds. Literally, boys, that's how fast it can happen. The dynamic of a relationship with the woman, that precedence that you set about your boundaries, what you will and will not accept is set within the first two weeks. And being aloof is part of this. It's showing when you complain, when you're negative or when you try to talk about politics or religion, you're getting cake face and we're not talking about that shit.

16:22 I'm going to literally look like you just sprayed my face with shit mist. And that's going to communicate to her that you don't put up with the shit and we use that aloofness here and there to get them attracted to us. How much? About 10%. And usually, if applicable, applied when she's being negative, boring, talking about shit that isn't conducive to attraction. But you can throw it in here and there too wherever you can just to get that little bit of aloofness. When she's talking about something that you're just not into, you don't want to talk about it, just kind of stare at her forehead.

16:53 Get a look on your face like you're a little bit confused. And then when she's like, what? You'd be like, oh, never mind. Keep going. Right? Like, real bored. Like, go ahead. Keep going with your thing. Right? Like, you don't even know what she's talking about. You're like, keep talking about that thing. Go ahead. Right? And she's like, what's wrong? Then I'm going to be very calm. Guys, you have to understand, no negativity. I'm going to be very calm and I'm going to say, you know, you've kind of been complaining about politics for the past five minutes.

17:20 Do you think that's really like a positive topic that we should be talking about? And she's like, well, it's really important to me. You'd be like, yeah, but let's be honest. This is a first date, right? We're trying to get to know each other. I got your politics, right? You're some super left-leaning chick who fucking hugs trees, dodges soap, and whose muff is so big when I take down her underwear, it's going to go when the muff comes out. Got it. Got it. You play the harp on the weekends at the fucking hippie circle.

17:46 Got it. But I've learned that about you. I know your politics. Let's move on. So what was the best day of your life? What would be something you'd never do again that you just absolutely regretted? And you take that conversation, boys, and you lead her to where she wants to be led. I can guarantee you, even if a girl goes down a negative avenue like talking about how much she hates Trump or how stupid it was that Trump invited Travis Pastrana, Ricky Carmichael, Jeremy McGrath, and Deegan to do backflips on the fucking White House lawn.

18:16 So gangster, dude. I love that that happened. She's complaining about how dumb that was. You are allowed to interrupt her, let her know like, hey, this isn't really conducive to attraction, this negativity, and guide her to the next best thing. But you have to remember, you cannot be negative yourself. You have to be calm, composed, on your inner balance point, unaffected, and leading that little girl into a better experience. Then that night when you come inside of her, you could be like, hey, you're a dishwasher.

18:45 And she's like, why? And you'd be like, because I just loaded you up, right? And so many people are getting pissed off right now. Let me tell you something. If you get offended by what some random dude says on this podcast, no offense, brother or sister, you have an extremely weak frame. Anybody who gets butt hurt by trigger words or who gets hurt about what somebody says is fucking weak. Strengthen your frame, be in your own internal reality. Who gives a shit what some guy says on this fucking podcast?

19:14 Let it go. Focus on yourself. Are you so unhappy that you actually get mad about what somebody says on their podcast? Dude, you got some problems and you need to work on yourself. No offense, but you need NLP, Neuro Linguistic Program. And you know what? Even the haters, I welcome you brothers to come work with me. And if you want to send me hate mail, go ahead. It's fucking funny to me. It entertains me. Why? Because I have a strong frame. And you guys have to have a strong frame too.

19:40 If she's being negative, if she's being boring, asking questions like, do you think that clouds go backwards ever or do they always go forwards? You'd be like, dude, what? You give her cake face, your table is just sprayed with shit mist and you're changing topics. You're being aloof when she's doing shit that you don't want to hear about. Guys, 10% needs to be thrown in there along with the 20, 30, 40%. Go listen to that episode when I talked about warmth, but you need to have all these combinations. And like the stupid analogy I made recently of the cake where you're cooking a really delicious cake, it has to have all those ingredients.

20:17 Otherwise, it's just going to be flat. So implement this, boys. Use it on the next time you hang out with a girl. And finally, guys, I want to leave you with this last piece of wisdom. You are the prize. She's the one that's in the application. That red helmeted warrior in your pants, she wants it bad. It is the fucking trophy that she's going after. And if you're not into what she's saying, if she's doing some shit that you don't like, ignore it. Look at her like she sprayed you with shit mist.

20:43 Look away. Check your phone. Change the topics. Be the leader and let her know that you are the prize. Gentlemen, I super appreciate you listening. Stay tuned for next Tuesday as I have an awesome one coming up and I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review. You have no idea how much that helps me.

21:14 Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.