5 Proven Strategies to Become Your Own Hero!!!

0:00 How many times do you guys say to yourself, I love you? How much compassion do you give your soul that's been through so much shit and who is so much stronger than you think he is? That is a goddamn warrior inside you right now. You have no idea what you're capable of if you just tap into it, believe in it, and be your own hero. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it.

0:39 What is up, you goddamn champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And in this one, we're going to talk about how you need to appreciate yourself, brother. If you knew how strong you were, if you knew what an absolute champion you are, you would believe in yourself so much that yes, you would be your own hero. And that's what we're going to talk about today. So to kick off this episode, first of all, brother, I want to let you know that I know a lot of you guys are suffering.

1:09 I know a lot of you guys have negative thoughts about yourself. A lot of you guys are having self-deprecating belief systems that are not conducive to your success. And you may not feel at all like you could ever get to the point where you believe that you're your own hero. But that's the point of life, isn't it? The point of life is to overcome those adversities that were given to you that I believe you chose, you incarnated to come into to overcome. It's kind of like insulting yourself because you're climbing a mountain and you're only halfway up the mountain and you're pissed because you haven't overcome that gigantic ice cliff.

1:46 Like you're climbing Everest and you're trying to put on your crampons and you can't quite get them on and you've tried to climb that thing several times and it just hasn't happened and it's really fucking difficult. And then you sit there beating yourself up because you haven't achieved that success yet. That's the way I look at it. And the way I look at it, too, is that you are such a strong soul. You have no idea how powerful you are. And I want to give you guys some empirical evidence to prove that to you.

2:11 I don't want to just sit here behind the camera, behind the microphone saying like, bro, you're a champion, be your own hero, you've come so far, you've overcome so many challenges, believe in yourself more. I want to actually look at those with you and I want to analyze from a very logical perspective why indeed you are a goddamn champion, why not only should you be your own hero, but you're actually my hero, too. And I want you to go to bed every night when your head hits the pillow being proud of yourself because there is a lot to be proud of.

2:41 So once again, this all comes down to your belief systems. Do you believe that life is easy? Okay, I can say for 99.99% of you, probably not. A lot of you guys have been through a lot of bullshit. You've been through a lot of calamities. You've had rejections from girls. Maybe you're insecure about certain things about yourself. Don't like your job. Don't like the way you look, whatever it is. We can both agree you've been through a lot of shit. But here you are listening to a podcast like this one.

3:09 Here you are trying to improve yourself. You clicked on this with 20 minutes to spare, knowing that you could be watching porn right now, knowing that you could be watching some bullshit on Netflix that does nothing for you, knowing you could be doing a bunch of self-deprecating things like eating like crap, doing drugs, using people, fucking killing somebody. But you're not. You're here trying to better yourself. And with all the shit that you've been through, you're still in the fight. Okay, you haven't given up yet. Have you killed yourself?

3:38 No. And now you may be looking at the example and you're like, really, Mark? You're going to say that because I haven't killed myself yet, I should be proud of myself? That's a pretty weak argument. Give me a chance, man. I'm building my argument. I'm just starting there. Okay, but it's true. How many suicides are there every year? You know, a lot of them aren't reported because families are embarrassed about them. People don't want to talk about it. We really avoid death in the society because we think it's a really bad thing as well as old age that we should be ashamed of.

4:06 And in some ways, it's true where we don't want to focus on suicides, but there's so many people who give up. And not only by killing themselves, but also being depressed, doing drugs, sleeping 14 hours a day, which I've been there myself. I've been suicidal. I've attempted suicide a couple times. I don't know a lot about you guys, but I used to sleep 14 hours a day and I've come out of that shit. And so have you. Here you are. You're alive. You're still slogging forward. Clearly, you clicked on this episode because you want to better yourself.

4:37 That alone, bro, like I could end the episode right now and be like, dude, you're a fucking champion. You're still in the fight. You haven't given up yet. You're never out of the fight. You have that can do, never give up, never quit attitude. And for that alone, you should be proud of yourself. But let's keep going. I want to keep talking about the evidence. So let's look at all the shit that you guys have overcome. Okay, all the way down into your childhood. Look, I work with dude after dude.

5:02 And when they come work with me, they fill out the NLP intake form, which is based on the DSM-IV psychological preview, as well as the five neurological levels of NLP. Guys who have been not only verbally and physically abused, but sexually abused, guys who have lost parents, guys who have had fucked up step parents, a very close friend of mine had a stepdad that just berated him through his entire childhood. And what's he doing? He's persevering past it. He's working on it. He's trying to make himself into a better man.

5:34 That guy's my fucking hero. And if you're listening, you know who you are. And every guy I work with has something that has happened to him. Not only something, but some things, many things, dozens of things. Just calamity after calamity, fucking hit in the face after hit in the face, getting punched down into the curb, nose bleeding, kicked in the fucking ribs over and over and over and over again. And they're still fucking here. Those guys are my heroes. Every single guy who comes into my program, and yes, even you listening, I know you've been through hell.

6:06 I know you've been kicked in the fucking guts when laying in the gutter with your nose bloodied and your hope completely taken away from you, yet you still get up, yet you still keep going, yet you still keep trying. And that alone, brother, is why you should be your own hero. So this whole concept of be your own hero is something that I came up with. I'm sure somebody else has said it somewhere else. I may have heard it and unconsciously came out with it. But it's a big premise of my teaching where we only listen to the voices inside of us, and we only believe those.

6:40 So I often tell you guys that haters are just peanut butter and jealous, right? That's something I like to say, that dude, that guy's just peanut butter and jealous. I get a lot of hatred, as I'm sure you guys get hatred too. Jealousy, bro. That's all it is. You would not hate another person unless there was something in them that resonated within you in a negative way, made you feel insecure. Usually it's jealousy. It's either jealousy or that person is resonating with something they don't like within themselves.

7:08 So anytime somebody hates on me, I almost take it as a compliment. Because if they're trying to bring you down, it's probably because you're doing something right. It's a big quote that I really like to think about when I think about these things. But not only the haters whose voices you should, of course, not listen to because they're just peanut butter and jealous. Just say that to yourself. Anybody who hates on me, they're jealous. Fuck them. They can have their hatred. See you later. Good luck with your life.

7:33 But let's also look at the people who support you. Now, this is something you may not hear a lot of self-development gurus and teachers say. But people who support you can also be imposters and they can also hurt your success. Why is that? Because you begin to rely on the positive opinions of others to feel good about yourself. With me as a podcast host, I get love every single day. And listen, if you've sent me love, keep doing it, man. I love it. Not so much because it builds me up, but because I know I'm changing your life and that's my purpose.

8:05 So I'm internally validated to the point where I don't need those good opinions. After I record this podcast, I'm going to press stop on it. And I'm going to ask myself, did I do my best? Did I give these guys everything from every single part of my soul, every part of love that I have from the deepest recesses of who I am? Yes or no? And of course, the answer is going to be yes. I'm trying as hard as I fucking can right now to help you out.

8:31 So when I press stop, do I worry about the opinions that are going to come in? Do I worry about an email I'm going to get that says, dude, that podcast was gangster. Thank you so much. It's really helped me out. Do I worry about those positive opinions, which I often get? No. The only thing I worry about is, did I try my best? Did I give you everything I have? And the answer, of course, is going to be yes. So now from that perspective, we have control.

8:56 Not only can the negative voices not affect us, but even the positive ones. And when we get that control, what that essentially means is we are internally validated, which means our opinion of ourself is the only one that matters. And therefore, we now have power. And therefore, we now have power. We're seeded into our power. So as we continue to go through life, only trusting the filter that we have within us, then we have power over our life and we can move more closely into being our own hero.

9:24 Because when you're no longer dependent on the good opinions, when you're no longer affected by the bad opinions, the only thing that matters is in here and that's easier to control. So as we continue to look through our lives and we say, look, I've been through a lot of shit. I'm still persevering. I'm trying to better myself. Those people who like me, I like that because I'm probably helping them in a way. My love that I put towards them is making their lives better and that's good.

9:50 But also the haters, they can't affect me because I know when a person hates on me, it's just a symbol about what he feels about himself. If somebody says you're a piece of shit, what he's really saying is I'm a piece of shit, meaning himself is a piece of shit. So now those are gone too and the only thing we have left is our own opinion. Now, this gets into some NLP. I want to let you guys know that the bad opinions are illusions, okay? Anything you think bad about yourself right now, it's a fucking illusion.

10:19 It's smoke in mirrors. It's a wisp of smoke that suddenly is gone. Where did it go? Hmm, it was never there in the first place. But even the good opinions are illusions. Now, you may be thinking, well, if the bad opinions are illusions and the good opinions are illusions, aren't I just lying to myself no matter what I say? In essence, yes. But here's the point. And I really want you to think about this. The result is what matters because that's real. So if you have an opinion about yourself that I'm confident, I'm a champion, I'm a good dude, I'm attractive to women, I'm a champion, I'm an unapologetic silverback legend, that's an illusion.

10:58 That's just something you're creating, but the results are real. And the results are making more money, getting more girls, having more happiness, having more peace. And peace is what we're all striving after. But also, if you have negative opinions, which a lot of you guys do, you have opinions that I'm not enough, that girl would be better with another dude, she doesn't want to be talked to, sex is wrong, I'm a piece of shit, I'm not worth it, I'm not worthy of love, which is a huge one.

11:25 Illusions, bro, smoke and mirrors. Why did you buy into that illusion? Well, oftentimes we do so because somebody who we loved, such as our mom or our dad, put that into us, sometimes even inadvertently, not even meaning to be malicious with it, they put it into us, and we just keep hitting print on a printer that spits out the same results over and over again. But when you guys realize that, wow, not only are other people's opinions illusions, the good ones and the bad ones, but my own belief systems are illusions, the good ones and the bad ones.

11:59 But what's real? The result that comes out of it. So if we know that, wouldn't we choose the belief systems that are most conducive to positive results? Even if we're lying to ourselves, and I'm doing air quotes with my fingers, we're lying to ourselves, well, you're lying to yourself otherwise, right? Well, you're lying to yourself either way, so you might as well lie to yourself in a way that gets you what you want, wouldn't you agree? So now with that, I want you to think to yourself, well, I can choose however I think, and if thinking creates my reality, why wouldn't I choose the best thoughts that create the best results?

12:37 So now we have that philosophy in place, and with this philosophy, if I've been able to convince you, which I sincerely hope I have, I tried my very, very best to do so, you can take the philosophy from today forward, and yes, today is the first day of the rest of your life, and start choosing positive thoughts about yourself, including being your own hero. So how would I behave, how would I think, what would I do if I was really my own hero? And that's something I want you guys to ask yourself on a daily basis, it's actually part of my morning routine.

13:11 What would I do today? How would I be today? What kind of person would I exude to the world today if I were my own hero? Okay, I'd have discipline, I'd meditate, I'd eat right, I'd treat people well, I'd do really good work, I would treat my clients like brothers, I'd go the extra mile, I'd be a fucking man, and do shit that I have to do, not necessarily what I want to do. I'm going to record an episode about discipline here in the next few weeks, and that's the big point of discipline.

13:40 Doing shit you have to do, or you should do, not shit you necessarily want to do. And that's it. It's focusing on your higher motives, not your lesser motives. I'll get into it on that podcast, but if I'm my own hero, how would I behave today? Okay, so we have that on a day-to-day basis where I'm keeping myself to a very strict policy of sticking to the positive thoughts, having discipline, and never, ever, ever letting that bullshit that somebody else put into my head when I was a kid sneak in its insidious belief systems to make me feel bad about myself.

14:17 No, dude. I've had enough travails in my life to have dealt with that already. Thank you very much. I know the results that that gets me. It just makes me feel like shit. It makes me feel insecure. It makes me do self-deprecating things like eating like crap, watching Netflix, playing video games, and masturbating to porn way more than I should. No, I'm done with that. I've been there. And how do I know you guys are ready to hear this? Because you're listening to this right now.

14:40 I believe there are no coincidences, right? Agree with me. Don't agree with me. I don't give a shit. Because again, I'm internally validated. I believe in myself. But there are no coincidences. You guys came to this episode at the perfect time, at the perfect moment in your life where you're ready to live it. So we get very stringent about, look, I'm going to be my own hero today. But also, boys, if you have to look back into the past, don't look back at all your failures.

15:08 Look back at what those failures produced in your life, which was pain, and the fact that you overcame it. All the shit that you've been through, I literally look at it like rungs on a ladder. There's one rung, two rung, three rungs, four rungs, five rungs, all the way up for as high as it goes into infinity, let's say. And every single thing you've been through that hasn't made you quit is a rung that you step up to develop yourself more and more and more and more.

15:36 And you're just going higher and higher into that self-actualization, which is becoming the best person you can be. Which, again, is what I believe is the reason we're here. We are here as divine beings who have chosen an ego, who have chosen to live in fear. Remember, there's only two basic emotions, love and fear. In my opinion, you are pure love. You come from divinity. You incarnate into this world. You are given a big dose of fear in the form of an ego, as are other people.

16:07 And it's a fucking shit show. It's a goddamn dumpster fire down here. But it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be. And that gives truth to the strange Buddhist saying, which says, without suffering, there could be no enlightenment. You have to have the dark in order to recognize that you're light. You have to have something to overcome. What's the point of hiking the mountain? To overcome the mountain. And that's what you're doing. So to insult yourself when you're halfway up the mountain and say, I'm a piece of shit.

16:33 I'm no good. I can't be my own hero. All these haters are right. And even the people who say good things about me are wrong. That's all bullshit belief systems. But it has a purpose for you to overcome it. So the time has come. The time has come to not buy into it. To recognize why it's there and use it to your advantage. And yes, that even makes it beautiful. And when I say it, I mean all the bullshit that you've been through. It had a purpose, brother.

17:00 So honor it. Forgive it. Have compassion for it. Did you know that that person who did XYZ thing to you when you were XYZ age could have been your greatest teacher? If you reframe it and say, dude, this guy really helped me grow. Even though he did all these shitty things to me, look how fucking strong I am. And back to that champion who I was referring to in the beginning of the episode, that's for you right there, bro. That thing that your stepdad did to you, that made you grow into the champion you are today.

17:28 And I've seen you standing in front of me, man. I've seen your character. I know the dude that you are. And you're a fucking legend. And oftentimes, and this goes for all of you, that comes from people who have done shitty things to us. Things that have been calamitous in our lives, that have brought us down. Those are sometimes your greatest gifts. I know the best single thing that ever happened to me were my panic attacks, agoraphobia, and massive anxiety that I experienced when I was in Japan.

17:54 Why? Because I overcame it. With NLP, with meditation, with working on myself, I overcame that calamity. And I'm the champion who is sitting before you today, either on video or audio. And I love myself, man. I am my own fucking hero. Because no matter what comes, I say to myself, this will not bring me down. I'm going to get over it. And I'm going to grow because of it. So when a calamity comes, yeah, it sucks. But you say to yourself, dude, this is a rung on the ladder of my championhood.

18:23 And I'm going to step on it, squish it, and get myself that much higher. This is the philosophy of a man who is his own hero. So that's my challenge to you, brother. Monitor your thoughts very closely. The negative thoughts are gone. I've been harping on this for the last three months. No more negative thoughts. That shit's a thing of the past. Next thing, focus on all the stuff you've been through. And instead of insulting yourself for it, say to yourself, dude, I'm a champion. I've been through this, and I didn't give up.

18:50 I am never out of the fight. And the third thing is, don't listen to the bad opinions from others, but also don't listen to the good opinions. Be happy that you're helping those people who love you and who support you and who are inspired by you, but don't rely on them. Where do you rely? You rely on this inside here, your own filter. That is the essence of being your own hero. So as we continue on, gentlemen, forgive yourself for all the shit you've been through.

19:17 That's the point. You were supposed to go through it. It is there in order to make you grow, and it has done so. But from here forward, now that you have this new perspective on how life actually works, choose your belief systems, choose how you react to calamities, and choose to be your own hero. Because you are a goddamn champion, brother. And if you look at all the evidence, you will agree with me. So tonight, when your head hits the pillow, say, you know what, dude?

19:44 Mark is right, bro. I've been through a lot of stuff. I'm still here. I'm still slogging forward. I'm trying to improve myself. I am a fucking champion. And you know what? I can believe in myself. And you know what? I'm going to go even to the furthest stretches that Mark suggested. I am my own hero. And give yourself a spiritual hug, an emotional hug, whatever it is, and just be like, dude, I love you, man. How many times do you guys say to yourself, I love you?

20:11 How much compassion do you give your soul that's been through so much shit? And who is so much stronger than you think he is? That is a goddamn warrior inside you right now. You have no idea what you're capable of. If you just tap into it, believe in it, and be your own hero. So gentlemen, I want you guys to walk around with your head held high, a smirk on your face, your shoulders back, your chest sticking out, your spine straight, and know that you are life's warrior.

20:40 And you are still here fighting the good fight. And for that, you should be your own hero. So I thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. I know when I click stop on this episode, I'm going to pat myself on the back and say, dude, you gave your best, wasn't perfect, but you do your work and step back and focus on the next thing. Only caring, did I give my best? And if the answer is yes, then I too can be my own hero.

21:04 I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, gentlemen. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.