Can You Date Lots of Girls Without Hurting Them? My Answer Will Shock You!

0:00 If you're looking for your wife, I'm going to tell you this, from quantity comes quality. You have to develop the skill set, and the only way to do that is to talk to as many girls as possible, and yes, even date as many girls as possible, even those who you know will not make the cut. Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. A mic checker, one, two. What is up, you champions?

0:37 Thank you for tuning in to another episode of The UMP, The Uniform Mike Papa, The Unapologetic Man Podcast, and today, gentlemen, we are going to talk about, can you date a bunch of girls without breaking their hearts? Because you know me as a dating coach tells you that you need to date as many women as possible. This is a skill set. If you're looking for your wife, I'm going to tell you this. From quantity comes quality. You have to develop the skill set, and the only way to do that is to talk to as many girls as possible, and yes, even date as many girls as possible, even those who you know will not make the cut.

1:14 As my friend used to say during our childhood, she's like a moped, fun to ride, but you don't want to be seen with her. And I know for a lot of you guys, that's a situation where you meet a girl and you're like, yeah, she's kind of cute. She's got maybe a nice ass and some nice tits, but I just know that the second I hit it, I'm going to be over it. I just know it. And you feel bad about that because you're a good dude, and I respect that about you.

1:38 But I'm going to tell you my philosophy about how it is that you can date women, yes, even women that you know have no chance with you and still leave them better from having met you, still ameliorate them in the way where you're making them grow without necessarily breaking their hearts or at the very least being honest with them, not lying to them and telling them how it really is that relationships that start fast and fast, we're just hanging out and seeing how things go. And if she makes the mistake of catching feelings too quickly, well, that's kind of on her because you're being honest, you're being moral, you're giving value, and you're being a champion who is essentially searching for his dream woman.

2:19 Because I know that's eventually what you guys all want. Yeah, you probably want to play the field for a while, experience hotter women than you ever have before. But eventually, I know you guys want to find that perfect woman for you, and I respect that. And I also respect that you don't want to break a bunch of hearts in the process. So we're going to talk about today how to do that. This actually comes from an email from my boy, Brett. What is up, Brett? His name actually isn't Brett, but I know that he's in a high status position where he probably doesn't want me revealing his real name.

2:48 So we're going to call him Brett. And this is what he emailed me this morning. He said, I'm getting to a place of abundance regarding dating and women. I've noticed that I've started to feel guilty building attraction with so many women, especially when I can tell they are catching feelings. My last relationship, I got my heart broke pretty bad, which led to me joining this program. I find myself feeling guilty because I don't want to cause anyone else that same pain. Brett, you're a good fucking dude.

3:15 What do you think is the best way to approach, reframe this, and strategies not to be a heartbreaker, but to provide value to women until I find the one that I truly want? So Brett, that's a very moral question. You should smack yourself on the ass because you're a good fucking dude. And I feel I'm a good dude too, but I'm not going to not date women just because I'm afraid of hurting them. And I'm going to explain my exact philosophy as to why that is.

3:40 So first and foremost, Brett, as well as the rest of you listening, we go up to women and we give what? What is the most important thing that I've told you guys time after time after time in this podcast? When you go up to women, you have to give good value. That includes giving good energy, giving good experiences, giving her a good conversation, taking her on a world-class experience. So initially from the onset, your philosophy has to be that of a go-giver, not a taker. Because most guys out there, let's be honest, boys, are just takers.

4:15 They want to take her phone number, take her on a date, take her home, take off her underwear, take her sex. You are not that way as an unapologetic man. You are an alpha silverback who gives value. So immediately when I approach a woman, and I want you guys to think the same way, when you approach a woman, it's like you're handing her a $20 bill. She just won the lottery being able to talk to you. And even if you're sitting there thinking to yourself, yeah, right, Mark, I'm fucking short, fat, ugly, bald.

4:44 I look like a chicken McNugget with tits. I have no game. I go into screensaver mode. I can't even remember my last name, let alone say something to her that's going to make her laugh. I don't give value. I want to disagree with you, brother, because the biggest value that we give women when we approach is our energy. And the two most important things you need to approach women with is good energy and good tonality. So immediately when you approach a woman, I want you to think that you're giving her something.

5:14 How many of you guys think that? Not many. Reason being is you're afraid that you're taking something from her because you have belief systems, don't disturb strangers. She'd probably want a better guy than me. I'm just going to annoy her. That needs to be reframed in the way that I am giving her something by approaching her, which is exactly what I think. And it's exactly what Brett thinks too now that he's in the coaching program. So Brett understands, dude, I'm a valuable dude. And this is why he went from getting very little attraction from women to getting more women than he knows what to do with who are getting attracted to him.

5:50 So the immediate reframe is, A, I'm giving you something of value. I am making your life better. I'm making your day better. Gentlemen, don't get it twisted. Women want to be in a better state than before they met you. And if you're able to leave them in a better state, you just demonstrated charisma. You just gave them a gift. Women are state seekers. They are constantly looking for state outside themselves. Men, on the other hand, generate state within themselves. So it's our job as men to go make women feel beautiful.

6:22 Yes, even a girl who's unattractive, who you can tell put a lot of work into her outfit, give that girl a compliment, man. Raise her up. Brighten her day by saying, hey, your outfit's really cute today. I love the way the little bow tie on your head matches your purse. You're killing it. And then you give her a high five and you walk away. You just gave value. Now, let's say you're practicing and you're like, dude, that girl kind of liked me. And you circle back to her.

6:46 Yes, boys. Even a girl who you're not attracted to just to practice. Now you start talking to her with all the gambits that I teach, all the strategies I teach, all the things I give my boys in my three-month coaching program, and yes, a little bit in this podcast, and she starts getting attracted to you. Do you think you're taking something from her when she's getting the experience of being able to be attracted to a man? Fuck no. This is what women love. They love to feel those little girl giddy feelings of being attracted to a man, of having a great conversation, of laughing, of being given value.

7:22 So you're not taken there either, are you? Now let's say you take her phone number knowing full well that she has absolutely no chance with you. Well, here's my thought on that. If you take her phone number and you know that you're not going to make her your girlfriend, you know you're probably not going to even touch her beyond her hand when you shake it. Is that taking something from her? I don't believe it is. Reason being is I go into the interaction always thinking to myself, how can I lift this girl up?

7:52 What can I teach her? What can I bring to her? Can I show her a good time? Can I be the dude who brings her to that next level of her evolution of her consciousness? That's always what I'm thinking. So when I go into the texting conversation, I'm cracking her up. I'm giving her emotions. She's on a high note. Then I say, hey, you seem pretty cool. What would you think about hanging out sometime? And she's like, yeah, for sure. You say, cool. What's your week looking like?

8:16 Boom. You set up the date. Then you take her out to, let's say, tapas, right? It's going to cost you about 20 bucks and you should pay. You are giving value by taking her to a restaurant. Then you do things like run the cube on her, strawberry fields, the pig, handwriting analysis. You tell all the stories of you becoming. You do the three-part answer when she asks you what you do for a living, what you do for fun. You do reverse cold reading to big qualification. You're doing all these fucking gambits and she's just giddy as fuck.

8:46 She's super into it. Yet you still know this girl has no chance. Would you feel guilty about it? I wouldn't. I just gave her tons of value. I just read her personality. I analyzed who she is. I told her all these stories. I gave her some of my philosophies. I let her view my life and I built her up because of it. Am I sitting there promising her she's going to be my girlfriend? Hell no. Am I sitting there even promising I'm going to kiss her?

9:12 Hell no. We are on a date to get to know each other. And don't get it twisted, gentlemen. There have been, for me as well as for you, certain girls who were able to get us attracted to them via their femininity and their conversation. Now, I admit you get some really obese girl who you're like, no way in hell. There's probably not a chance with that kind of girl. But sometimes a girl who's like a moped, fun to ride, but you don't want to be sane with her, they might have a chance with you.

9:39 So why are you neglecting to give her that chance? You being the champion, you being the prize, give her a chance, bro. She likes you. Give her a chance to win you over. She just might do so. And let me ask you this. How many times have you been on a date with a girl who, let's say, was a seven when you first met her and you're like, yeah, probably not. Then you kind of liked her and her femininity was kind of sexy. Then you kind of started looking at her lips and you're like, yeah, I kind of want to kiss this girl.

10:07 And you kiss her and it was really good. Then you guys have sex and the chemistry was like bomb.com. I'm talking naked monkey sex where you make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit with a tornado and you came so hard, you blasted off the bed and hit your back on the fucking ceiling. That's happened to many of you guys listening. So don't lie to yourself. Even a girl who at first isn't attractive to you, you could still get into her. But now let's go back to the situation where she probably won't win you over.

10:37 You and I both know the truth, bro. If she's not attractive enough, there's a very small chance. There is a chance, but there's a small chance she's going to actually really be able to win you over where she becomes your actual girlfriend. Fine. What did you give her? You gave her value in the first conversation. You cracked her up over texting. You took her on a quote unquote date, which I actually call a hangout in my coaching just to not put too much connotation on it.

11:03 You take her on a hangout, you buy her food, you give her good value. Then you send her a text that says, hey, Kelly, I had a great time with you, but I don't think we have the kind of chemistry to justify continuing this forward. I don't want to waste your time. So I think it's best we part ways. Some other guy is going to be lucky to meet you. Take care and be well. That whole experience, in my opinion, made her better. Yet she's going to be a little bit disappointed that perhaps she's not going to be able to be my girlfriend.

11:30 But boys, we're playing with fire here. Do you think that every single girl out there thinks to herself, I don't want to hurt this guy, I don't want to lead him on? No, we have to kind of lead people on in order to get to know them. We have to play with fire, as it were, in order to see if we're compatible. So you're in this game and to deny the inevitable consequences of that game is, in my opinion, stupid. We all know that we're playing with fire.

11:58 We all know we could get hurt. Even Brett got hurt once and he doesn't want to do that to other girls. Fine, Brett. Don't promise him anything. Don't say, I'm going to be your boyfriend just so you can go have sex with her, such as if she tells you, listen, I'm not having sex until we're boyfriend and girlfriend. So do you want to be my boyfriend? And he's like, damn, I really want to get it. Even though she's a moped fun to ride, I don't want to be seen with her.

12:20 And I know she has no chance with me. I'm going to hit it anyway because I'm so horny I'd fuck a snake if I could hold it straight. And I'm just going to hit it and I don't care the consequences. Then he hits it and he's like, oh my God, that was horrible and blows her out after saying he's going to be her boyfriend. Come on. We all know Brett wouldn't do that. We all know I wouldn't do that. And I bet you listening wouldn't do that except for a small percentage of you.

12:42 And you know who you are. If you do that, lying to women, making them false promises, bullshitting them into bed, that's fucked up. But if you're like Brett and you're a moral dude, which I'm assuming you are, then what you do is give value and let her know there's no promises here. There's no promises. And if she's asking, what are we, what are we going to be? Are we going to be boyfriend and girlfriend? You say this, you say, hey, listen, I like you a lot, but relationships that start fast and fast.

13:11 So I want to take it slow and see where it goes. If that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand. We can go ahead and part ways. If you say that you're being completely honest, you're still giving her value. You're not making her any promises. And if she chooses to have sex with you, she knows she's playing with fire. Women aren't stupid boys. They know the game. They know the consequences. If you make her no promises and you're completely up front with her and she still sleeps with you, then it's her burden to bear if it doesn't go well for her.

13:41 So she would be wise to try to give you the best orgasm you've ever had where she's sucking your dick and you come and she blasts up the ceiling, hits her back on it and comes back out into the bed, that's what she needs to do in order to get you. So again, we understand we're playing with fire. Do I feel we're taking anything from a woman when we go up and give value even if we have no intention to date her? I do not. I even recommend that my guys take girls on dates, but if she has no possible future with you, then just don't sleep with her.

14:11 Because sleeping with a woman releases oxytocin in her brain, which is a pair bonding chemical that will make her start to fall in love with you. This is why women get really strong when you have sex with them. So my rule was always this. If I know she has no chance with me, I'm not having sex with her. If I know she's just a moped, fun to ride, but I don't want to be seen with her as my best friend in childhood used to say, I'm not going to do it.

14:36 I used to do it because I was a dog when I lived in Arizona, but I stopped doing it when I moved to Colorado. My parameter was if this girl has a chance with me, then I'm going to have sex with her. And I would always try, gentlemen, not always successfully, but I would always try to just have sex with one girl at a time. So I'd be dating Ashley and Sarah. I've been dating Sarah a little bit longer. We're about to have sex. We have sex.

15:01 Ashley tries to have sex with me. I put her on ice. I'm like, nah, let's not have sex. Let's take it easy. Relationships that start fast and fast. Now I'm dating the other girl. What the fuck was her name? Amy or something. And I realized, or Sarah, was it? I don't forget. I realized Sarah ain't got the juice. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to blow her out. And then I have sex with the second girl. I think her name was Ashley. That's the way I'd always handle it, where I would be dating basically multiple girls, but only having sex with one girl at a time.

15:30 Did I always successfully do so? Having sex with only one girl at a time? Of course not. There's situations where it kind of falls in your lap and you're like, yeah, I'm super horny. I'm going to go ahead and knock it out. Sometimes there would be some overlap, but generally speaking, I would only be having sex with one girl at a time until I blew her out. Then I'd get the next girl. So in my opinion, that's the way to keep your moral compass completely clean.

15:56 You're giving value. Yeah, you're taking girls on dates who you're not attracted to. If they get attracted to you, that's not the end of the world, Brett. This shit happens. It feels good for them to be attracted to a dude. Have you ever been attracted to a girl? I'm sure you have. It feels damn good. Yeah, it kind of sucks when she doesn't reciprocate it, but it's still fun. It makes you feel giddy. And for women in particular, they feel like little girls again. So you can run game and say things.

16:21 You don't want to commit to anything or even do sexual tension with them unless you have an actual intention to date them seriously, but you can get them attracted to you. You can give value. You can crack them up, break rapport a little bit, bust their chops. It's good to have lots of girls attracted to you. In fact, I want as many women attracted to you as possible. Now, whether or not you take them on a date is up to you. If you do choose to take them on a date, I still don't feel that it's necessary for them to have good potential to be your girlfriend.

16:52 You're just going to hang out. You're just going to see what's up. Now, obviously, if you kiss them, you have sex with them, then maybe you should be like, okay, I'm only going to kiss girls who I think might have some potential to be my girlfriend. I won't even kiss them unless I think that. And definitely, in my opinion, don't have sex with them unless you think that they could have some potential. But that also begs the question, well, what if she says I'm not having sex unless we're boyfriend and girlfriend?

17:19 I would say this, and I've done this many times. I would say, listen, I understand that, but I'm going to be honest with you. I usually do not commit to a girl until I've known her for at least three months. I feel you have to change with somebody to really get to know someone. So that's cool. We can not have sex, but I'm letting you know it's probably going to be three months. And I'll also tell her this. I'll say, I also feel, Kelly, that in order to really get to know somebody, especially in a relationship kind of way, you kind of have to have sex to see if you guys have chemistry.

17:50 So I'm just letting you know that's kind of where I'm at. You know I'm talking to other girls. I'm not guaranteeing that I'm going to be able to stick around for that whole time. And again, relationships that start fast, end fast. So I'm going to take at least three months to get to know you. I'm willing to chill and keep doing what we're doing. And if sex happens to happen, fine. If it doesn't, if you want to stick to that, that's fine too. But just know that I might have to bounce because having sex, in my opinion, is really important.

18:17 So basically what you've told her is in a very roundabout way is if you want to keep me as a possible boyfriend, you would be wise to have sex with me. But if you don't want to do so, that's totally your prerogative, but just know it might cause me to go elsewhere. And that's always what I kind of lay down with women, which is my way or the highway, but I don't forcefully put it upon them. I say, hey, this is the way I am. If you don't like it, we should probably part ways, which again means I'm going to be the way I'm going to be.

18:49 And if you don't like it, then let's part ways. No big deal. And by you willing to drop her like that called the drop rule. She'll probably stick around as I found in the majority of my experience. But again, it usually doesn't have to happen that way. What usually happens is she gets so attracted. She's willing to have sex with me or you without these parameters in place. Like we have to be boyfriend and girlfriend first. We have to have arrived at X many weeks first.

19:16 I don't kiss until the third date. What do you say when a girl tells you that? I always say, well, I don't kiss until the eighth date. So we're going to have to wait at least two months, young lady. And no touching my hand either. I know you're trying to seduce me, little Casanova. Stay over there. No kissing for at least two months. You always go further than what she said. But the basis of this podcast is this, gentlemen. You can practice on women. You can give value.

19:40 Be a go-giver without breaking hearts because you're not promising anything. And listen, if she definitely isn't going to make the cut, then don't kiss her. Don't have sex with her, which is usually where broken hearts happen. Broken hearts rarely happen in the attraction phase. They usually happen in the falling in love phase, which happens because of sex. So yeah, I want you practicing on girls that you're not attracted to. Talking to girls on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, out in public, in your top of funnel ideas, in your social circle that perhaps don't have a chance with you.

20:11 Yes, even take them on a hangout. Give them value to practice your skill set. Because the more you practice your skill set, the more you're going to be prepared when the quality ones do come. And when the quality ones come, I'm going to tell you this. Stick to the exact rules that I outlined both in this podcast, but more importantly, in my coaching program, which is to behave the same way with the girl you're really into as a girl you're not really into, which is to kind of hold her at arm's length, take her on a good time, but don't flirt with her too much.

20:41 And again, only have sex with them if you think they actually have potential, Brett, this one was for you, and I hope it helped you out. You need to build a skill set, brother, and giving girls value while you do so is not taking anything whatsoever. It's giving. So be a go-giver, give value, make these women better from having met you, and for God's sakes, stop feeling guilty about it, brother. Women love this shit. They want a guy to make them feel giddy. They want to feel those emotions.

21:09 And if it doesn't work out for them, they know they're playing with fire, so it's not a big deal. Just don't be like my buddy in childhood who would say, she's fun to ride, but I don't want to be seen with her, because we can see the exact connotation of that statement means he's using this chick. He has no intention whatsoever of committing to her, so he's kind of being a douchebag. But if you just practice, in my opinion, it's giving, it's not taking. So what's the big whoop?

21:33 Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I have another awesome one coming up on Monday. I'm really proud of this one, so please stay tuned for that one, and I will see you in the next episode. See you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.