5 Proven Strategies to Become the Guy Women Feel Nervous Around (In a GOOD WAY)

0:00 One of the biggest things I noticed from guys who are good with women is they're not afraid to be disagreeable. They're not afraid to be a little bit of a dick to her. And most importantly, they're not afraid for the interaction to go badly. Women want that mystery. They want to feel a little bit scared around you, a little bit nervous. And I'm going to give you guys some techniques today for how to make them nervous. The Unapologetic Man Podcast. One of the biggest reasons guys fail to get attraction with women in that first conversation or first few interactions is because they're not mysterious enough.

0:31 They don't build enough intrigue and they are not a mystery. They put everything on the table. She knows everything about you. They're agreeable. They're nice guys. They go in too quickly trying to pull her into an outcome that they hope will manifest. And then obviously they don't get her attracted. One of the biggest things I noticed from guys who are good with women is they're not afraid to be disagreeable. They're not afraid to be a little bit of a dick to her. And most importantly, they're not afraid for the interaction to go badly.

1:01 And this is probably the biggest reason most guys fail with women is you have an intention in mind. You want it to go well. You want to yank her phone number, take her on a date, take off her pants and take her sex. Look at that word there. Take. They're just in this taker mentality where they really want it to go well. So they're like super agreeable. They're super friendly. They do her favors. They tell her everything she wants to know about them in like the first conversation and they don't understand why she doesn't get attracted to them.

1:33 Women want that mystery. They want to feel a little bit scared around you, a little bit nervous. And a lot of you guys have been there where a girl is attracted to you and she kind of looks at you like she's scared of you or like she can't make eye contact or she crosses her arms in front of her chest and she stands away from you. Some of you guys inadvertently mistake that for lack of attraction. But honestly, she might be a little bit afraid of you because she's attracted to you.

1:58 I mean, I've had girls look at me like I was an alien species who just uploaded them into my UFO craft and they're laying on the table looking at me like, oh, my hell, their eyes are like saucer pans. And I walk up to them and I'm like, any questions? And they're like, yeah, I have questions. How'd you get me up into your ship? Why is there UFOs? Where do you come from? That's the vibe we want. We want them a little bit nervous. And I'm going to give you guys some techniques today for how to make them nervous.

2:30 Now, you guys have to understand that attraction is a very nebulous thing. I talked about this in my last episode where you're almost like making a cake and it has a lot of different ingredients. It's not just flour, sugar and butter, but there's other ingredients too, right? There's like the icing. Maybe you throw some cardamom in there. You throw some chocolate in there. You throw a bunch of different flavors in there to make a really good cake. Because if you're too simple, if you're too one channel, such as building rapport the whole time, there's not enough ingredients in there to really make an attraction cake, if you will, that is actually tasty.

3:01 That is the stupidest analogy I've ever come up with, but we're sticking with it. So you have to understand that not only do you need to build intrigue, but you also need to pull her a little bit, give her compliments a little bit, be warm, be trustworthy, be real. So the last few episodes, I've been showing you guys a lot of techniques. And my next episode, which is going to be called the emotional permission technique, how to make women feel safe getting attracted to you. We have all these different variables.

3:28 So I want you to understand that this is one single technique in a myriad of techniques that you need to use in that first conversation to get really deep level attraction, where not only is she going to give you her phone number, but she's actually going to text you back. And more importantly, she's going to go on a date with you. Now, a lot of you guys are like, dude, this shit is too fucking complicated. And I get it, boys. Women are not simple. Attraction is not simple.

3:54 But here's the thing. And I actually say this to my coaching clients all the time. Once you get it down, like a couple times, right? Like you go into set, you don't do well the first like few dozen times. But then one time you really nail it. Oftentimes when that happens, you have an aha moment and it unlocks for you. And you understand something that actually is pretty easy to understand. And that is how to mix in the building rapport with the building mystery, with making her nervous around you, with telling stories that show about your ambition, getting her into her emotions, making her feel good, but at the same time, making her a little bit confused and being a little bit mysterious.

4:35 Once you get that mix, you can just replicate it time and time again. You guys are all decent at cooking something, right? Maybe it is like a cake or maybe you're like me where you're awesome at making a steak on the cast iron skillet on the stove, whatever it is that you're good at. You first sucked in the beginning and then you practiced it. You got it down. Some of you can just eyeball the ingredients and then it comes out perfect every single time. It's the same thing with chicks.

5:00 So if you're frustrated or you're annoyed, just know all it is, is a simple skillset. And most women are pretty much the same. So once you lock it down, that kind of mixture of all the things that you need, you can rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. Now, every girl's a little bit different, but that too goes into the recipe where you can adjust according to her reactions. So that being said, when you use some of these, some girls aren't going to react well to them.

5:29 Others are going to go fucking crazy and absolutely love it. This is why I'm going to give you guys five proven examples to test out on girls. Like I talked about in the previous episode, testing it over and over again to prove that it works, memorizing it, and then adding it like an arrow to your quiver. And then you can duplicate it time and time again. Honestly, guys, for men who are good with women, it's easy for them because they've unlocked that code. Just like a recipe that you can duplicate over and over again, women are very similar to that.

5:59 Again, every woman's a little bit different, but attraction generally works the same across all ages, across all cultures. Attraction basically works the same and this works into it. So let's get into it. All right, boys. So the first one is you want to be a mystery, right? Like let's say, for example, she asks you, what do you do for a living? Now, obviously I have cool ways to answer that question, but initially you can try a building intrigue approach, which says you don't want to know.

6:28 So she's like, what do you do for a living? You'd be like, oh, you don't want to know that. You don't want to know. Trust me. You would be out of here if you found out what I do for a living. Now, again, you have to judge the girl, see how she reacts, but some girls get really into that. And this is why I love building intrigue techniques such as there's so many good things about you and just one bad because a lot of girls will chase after that.

6:47 And that's making her nervous in a good way because she's like, why is he saying, I don't want to know his job? Is he like an assassin or is he like on SEAL Team 6 or Delta Force or something? Like, why would he say that? It builds that intrigue and makes her a little nervous. She doesn't know everything about you. And this gets women thinking. It reminds me of that movie Grease 2 from the 80s where Johnny, the guy who rides the motorcycle, always has his helmet on.

7:14 He's got his leather jacket on and she can never see his face, but he's like mysterious. He's that one guy who she doesn't know about. Meanwhile, all the other beta cucks are hitting on her and she's like, I'm not interested in you guys. I want that dude who I can't quite figure out. And then of course, at the end, they have that scene where he jumps a canyon literally on his bike. And it's the absolute worst shot in Hollywood history of the stuntman just fucking launching a jump.

7:41 His motorcycle is like basically vertical. You could tell the dude is absolutely going to eat shit. And then the next shot's like him landing perfectly, right? It's like that movie Starsky and Hutch where like the person falls off the side of the building and they're falling for like five seconds. And then there's a shot of the other guy catching him from the top. Just horrible movie editing, but it proves the point. Women want that mystery. All right. The next one, boys, is be willing to disagree with her.

8:10 If she likes a certain football team that you don't like, let her know. If she has some sort of view that you don't agree with, let her know. If she's wearing something that you think is ridiculous, given the weather outside, let her know. For example, she's wearing this tight little mini skirt, which looks great, but it's literally 14 degrees outside, which happens in Colorado all the time when I'm gaming girls in the winter. I'll be like, dude, why are you wearing that? You are absolutely going to freeze to death.

8:38 I do not understand why you wore that tonight. And let her explain herself to you. Now, when it comes to disagreeing with things, if she's Christian and you aren't, just don't bring it up, man. Don't talk about religion, politics, anything that might get controversial. Like she's a huge Trump supporter. She's got the MAGA hat on and you're some super left-leaning dude who wants to finger blast Biden's butthole. Don't fucking talk about it. Just be like, all right, fine. She's a MAGA girl. It is what it is.

9:02 Or maybe you're a MAGA guy and she is. It doesn't fucking matter. But if it comes to opinion-based stuff, for example, she really likes McDonald's and you're like, oh my God, McDonald's? Are you serious? Burger King, so much better. That kind of thing you can do. It's good to disagree with girls, get into little fights, but it has to be a play fight. It can't be emotional. Once again, if you're talking about politics, religion, your viewpoint on anything controversial, avoid that shit completely. And if she brings it up, you could do the exact technique I just told you.

9:37 Just be like, hey, listen, I don't really want to talk about that. We're on the first conversation right now. That seems like a conversation for subsequent hangouts. So we'll talk about that later. If you don't want to talk about something, you don't have to talk about it. So just don't. Just be like, no, we're not talking about that and blow past it. That too will build some intrigue. All right. The next one, boys, goes into a cool experiment that I learned about when I was studying psychology in college.

9:59 It's basically the shaking bridge experiment. So here's how it worked. They had guys go across this really unstable bridge, like one of those bridges you might see in the Brazilian jungle, right? Like it's very shaky. The wood is broken. It feels like you might fall off that shit. Then at the end of the bridge, they had a semi-decent looking chick. Like she was probably a seven or an eight interview the guys that would come across and she'd say, hey, what'd you think about that bridge? Hey, how was that experience for you?

10:25 Then after a couple of hundred meters, there would be another dude interviewing them who asked them how much they felt attracted to the girl who interviewed them right after the shaky bridge. Now stick with me here. It's almost done. But what happened next is they had guys go across a stable bridge, almost like walking over a freeway, like a concrete bridge. The same girl would interview them. Then a couple of hundred meters later, there would be a guy that would interview them and say, hey, how attracted did you feel to that girl who interviewed you after the bridge?

10:58 What they proved is when they went across the scary bridge, they were much more attracted to that girl who interviewed them than they were when they went across the stable bridge. What does this prove? This proves that when you're scared, you can mistake your scared emotions for attraction because it's literally the same chemical that's released in your head. So women cannot tell the difference between being a little bit scared. And I'm not telling you to wield a knife on her or do something psychotic. I'm going to tell you what I think you should do in a second, but they can't tell the difference between being a little bit scared and being attracted to you.

11:32 So what I suggest to guys on the first date is to take her somewhere where she might get a little bit frightened, such as a carnival. Or what I used to do is I used to be really good at drifting my car. And sometimes I drifted through the fucking intersection. When we were on a date, I would always ask her first, I'd be like, hey, do you mind if I unlock this and get a little sideways in the intersection? And sometimes it would be a few minute conversation before I actually deploy it.

11:59 But dude, if you can get her to be with you when you guys are doing something exciting or something a little dangerous, she's going to mistake that attraction for you. This, by the way, boys, is why I got laid every single time I took girls on a ride on my crotch rocket. I used to have an R6 street bike. It's a Yamaha 600 crotch rocket. And I would take chicks on that. I'd have an extra helmet, take them on it, got me laid every single time. And for you guys who ride motorcycles, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

12:27 It's that dangerous element, making her feel a little bit nervous. She's mistaking those nervous feelings for attraction for you. So maybe drift your car, take her to a carnival, get her on your crotch rocket, load her into a fucking cannon, launch her out of it into a net that's 600 yards away. This kind of shit builds attraction. Again, boys, this is one channel that we want to use of many different channel. I would say about 10 different channels that you need to click off flipping attraction hot switches in her head.

13:00 Not to mention that also includes trust and connection and being real, which I'm going to talk about my next episode, but don't get it twisted. If you miss one of the ingredients in that cake, that cake is going to taste like you got it in a prison chow line. All right. The next one, boys, is to qualify her. This is the fourth pillar in the four pillars of attraction. And the four pillars of attraction are frame control, value, sexual attention, qualifying. Qualifying means making her work for you.

13:27 Asking her questions like, what's good about you beyond your looks? What would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? What's the coolest thing you've ever done for your friend? If you saw a couple puppies along the road, would you stop and help them out? And my favorite one, boys, is, do you know why you're awesome? And she's like, why? And you're like, it was a question, dum-dum, which is my favorite qualifier lately. Chicks always laugh and they always jump through the hoop when you put that out there.

13:59 But qualifying is extremely important to get her to sell herself to you. You want her working for you. And this builds nervousness inside of her because you've flipped the frame, haven't you? You're the one submitting the application, not me. So what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you is an awesome qualifier. It's going to make her a little bit nervous because now she understands that you're the prize she submitted in the application and she needs to explain herself to you. All right, boys, we're getting long in the tooth here.

14:28 We're about 17 minutes in, but stick with me. I got a few other ones that you definitely don't want to miss. All right, the next one is to leave the conversation first. And so many guys don't do this, but I do it all the time, especially in a campaign. And a campaign is a series of multiple touches with the same girl over an extended period of time until I deem that she's attracted enough to me for me to go for her phone number. So for example, boys, the gym.

14:51 What I love to do in the gym is I love to have multiple touches over an extended period of time before I go for her phone number. What do most guys do? They go talk to the hot girl. They stick her there. They milk the conversation for as long as they possibly can. And they usually try to get the phone number in that first conversation. I like to do it differently where I'm going to see her on multiple occasions. We're always working out in the same place.

15:18 We usually work out at the same time. So the first conversation and subsequent conversations, I want to leave her on a high note. So my typical gym opener, when I first see a hot girl in the gym is very quick and very non-intrusive, but I want to leave her on a high note. I want to leave some mystery. So what I do is I go up and I basically say, Hey, what's up? Never seen you in here before. Or, Hey, what's up? I always see you in here.

15:41 My name's Mark. What's up? What's her name? She says, Hey, my name is Kelly. You shake her hand and you simply say this, watch out for that machine. It killed two people last week. She laughs. And then you leave instead of trying to stick in the set, extend the conversation until you can get a phone number, be the first one to leave. It's the same thing I do when I see a hot girl working at the dry cleaners or a girl at Starbucks, whatever it is, I always try to get them laughing.

16:08 And then I leave while they're laughing. So if you're in a situation where you can see a girl multiple times over an extended period of time, or even in a bar or a nightclub where you can go in and then eject and come back later, leaving them on a high note builds that mystery, makes them a little bit nervous the next time you go in because they're like, Oh, it's that guy. Is he going to leave again? Is he going to leave me on a high note?

16:29 You always want him wanting more. So when you can, you leave them laughing and you leave before they've had enough of you. All right, guys, push pull is my final example. You guys have probably all heard about this push pull. It's basically like too bad. You're not my type, which is a push because you're pretty cute, which is a pull. So you want her a little bit off balance. She doesn't know if you like her. She doesn't know if you just like rejected her, right? Like too bad.

16:54 You're not my type because you're pretty cute. Like, what is that? You want her a little bit off her inner balance point, a little bit thinking, wait, does, does he like me? Or did he just tell me he doesn't want me? Another example is, you know what, Kelly, you're actually pretty damn adorable. I'll give that to you, but I can also tell you'd ruin my life. So she hears that and she's like, Oh, he thinks I'm adorable, but I'm going to ruin his life. Now, obviously that's a joke and push pull deems another podcast episode or further training to do it correctly.

17:24 But that's the intrigue. It's a push, which means you're pushing her away and then a pull you're pulling her in. She's offering her balance point. She doesn't know if you like her or if you don't. And that's where we want her. So let's go over them again, boys. Answer some questions with, you don't want to know, or, Oh, you don't want to hear about that. Scare her while on the date, just a little bit. Again, don't wield a knife on her or anything. Be willing to disagree with her on opinion-based subjects, not on really serious things like politics or religion.

17:55 Qualify her. What's good about you beyond your looks? Leave the conversation first, always on a high note. Make her want more of you. Very important. And push pull. Too bad you're a fucking sea donkey because you're actually pretty fun to talk to, which I probably wouldn't suggest for you guys to say, but I say that all the time because I can deliver it correctly. And delivery is 90% of it, right? Like when you do these things, like for example, do you like to travel? And she says, yes.

18:22 And then you push her gently and you say, travel over there. You always want to have a smile on your face. You're playful, but at the same time, you're showing her you're mysterious. And more importantly, you are not to be fucked with. Now, that being said, gentlemen, make sure you stay tuned for my next episode that's dropping on Tuesday. It's going to be called the emotional permission technique because don't get it twisted. While she could get very attracted to you with these push pull techniques, these building mystery techniques, these techniques that make her a little bit frustrated, you also have to build trust and connection.

18:56 She has to feel safe around you. And most importantly, she has to trust you in order for her to give you her phone number and more importantly, show up to the date with you. So make sure to stay tuned for that one, boys. I drop podcasts every Tuesday and I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review.

19:23 You have no idea how much that helps me. Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.