The Art of the Comeback: Mastering Witty Banter to Keep Her Hooked (With Lines to Say)

0:00 So use these where you feel fits best, usually in like the beginning of the conversation, kind of before she's really attracted, but the attraction is developing. So here we go. You're probably the kind of girl who alphabetizes her spice rack, huh? You're probably that kind of girl, aren't you? Oh, you're one of them? Damn, I was really hoping you were normal. Careful, you keep looking at me like that, and I'm going to start charging you rent. That's cute. You rehearsed that in the mirror before coming out tonight?

0:27 And the last one, boys, I knew you were trouble. The moment you opened your mouth. There's so many of these. I have one where like I point my cell phone at her and I'm like pressing buttons. She's like, what are you doing? I'm like trying to turn you down. Where's the volume on this fucking thing? Messing with her playfully. That's what banter is. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it.

0:59 What up, boys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode. Let's get right into the content. So what exactly is banter? Banter is essentially flirting, really, if you think about it. Because a girl who's not attracted to you whatsoever won't banter with you. Banter is teasing each other, joking around, having funny things to say to what the other person says. And it is absolutely a skill set. But here's the cool thing. You can learn a bunch of different lines. You can learn a bunch of different techniques to banter off the cuff when perhaps this isn't so much your skill set.

1:36 I work with a lot of guys who are in science, technology, engineering, and math. And this just isn't what they're good at. They just don't think this way. They think very logically. And the male brain, in fact, is very logical. But we have to get out of that logical kind of thinking and think more about kids on the schoolyard. Bantering, summed up, is perfectly exemplified by two kids messing with each other, playing with each other, playing fighting, messing with each other, and laughing and giggling and having a good time.

2:08 Chicks absolutely love this shit. And the reason they're attracted to it is actually because it points to intelligence. If you're able to banter, if you're able to bust her chops and come up with witty comebacks, this shows that you're intelligent. And intelligence is always attractive. Unfortunately, going back to the STEM dudes, you showing her your resume isn't attractive. Even if you do have an IQ that'll make you one of the smartest guys in the world, well, that doesn't make you attractive because it doesn't necessarily show survivability.

2:39 A woman's attraction for you is based on your survivability, how likely you are to survive in today's society and thrive in today's world. The reason she wants this is because she wants you to pass on your genes to her children so that they too have a good chance of survival. Well, you being good at math or you being very logical doesn't necessarily point to survivability. You may think it does, but it doesn't necessarily do so because you'll see that some guys who are really smart, like academically, aren't always very successful.

3:11 Why is that? Because they're not socially acceptable. You ever hear the term, it's not what you know, it's who you know? The reason that is, is because we as human beings are social creatures and our ability to ascend through the pecking order is based on what? Our ability to be socially effective. That's why humor is one of the most attractive things is because when you're humorous, most of the time people like you. When you're able to banter, most of the time people are going to jive with you and therefore you are going to ascend in the social hierarchy.

3:43 This is why the intelligence of banter is more important than the intelligence of you having a PhD, for example, because again, it's going to allow you to ascend in the social hierarchy, the most important hierarchy there is. So women love a guy who can make them laugh. And if you're not naturally phony, again, you're stoked because you can learn a bunch of stuff, some of which I'm going to give you today. Some fundamental techniques that you can deploy on chicks when they test you or when they mess with you so that you can banter with them without necessarily being naturally funny in a bantering kind of way.

4:18 If you're not able to have humor, it's like a boxer without a jab. You're just not going to win the fight unless you're able to make her laugh. And that's what we're going to talk about today. So banter is going to come through in your conversation when once again, she has some initial attraction for you and she's willing to play with you in that way. If she's not into you, she's just going to be like, yeah, I'm not interested. I'm not trying to banter with you.

4:39 But if there is some attraction, she's going to maybe throw some shit at you. Now, in my coaching, I call some of this frame checks. This isn't the only thing that banter encompasses, but it is one thing. Frame checks is where she says some mean shit to you like, oh, you're not tall enough. Why are you talking to me? Is that one of your pickup lines? Why don't you have a girlfriend in a challenging kind of way? Now, the only reason she's doing this is because there could be some attraction there.

5:04 So when I get a frame check, I actually celebrate inside my own head, of course, because I know she might be attracted to me. If she's not interested, she's simply going to be not interested and not interact with me in that way. So when they say bitchy things to you, don't get butthurt, bro. Don't fucking walk off with your tail between your legs like a goddamn coward. Stick in the set. Be completely unaffected and flip the frame on her. Now, for those of you who have been listening for any amount of time, what are my four favorite words in the English language?

5:36 That's right. You are a smart motherfucker. The real question is, I got to tell you, boys, I was like, is it four or is it five? I'm going with four. And if it's five, I'll just rerecord it. But four was the right answer. The real question is, why are these my four favorite words in the English language? Is because you can flip frames on chicks so fucking quickly. And this right here is banter. When she says to you something like, why are you wearing a Seattle Seahawks ball cap?

6:03 Like who would ever wear that? You would say the real question is, why aren't you wearing a Seattle Seahawks ball cap? This is the shit. So what you do is you flip it and you make it all about the other. So the real question is, as well as the better question is, are two of my favorite statements of all time and lately I've been using a similar one, which is what we should actually be talking about is. So if she brings up something that's not conducive to attraction or she challenges you, you could be like, no, no, no, no.

6:34 What we should actually be talking about is, did you see that thing over there? Or what we should actually be talking about is, why are you wearing those sandals right now? Do you understand it's literally five degrees outside? Like why would you be wearing those right now? And you flip it on her, making it all about the other. Somebody challenges you, the real question is, and you challenge them back, even if it's with something completely irrelevant. So your friend's like, bro, why do you eat so many Cheetos, dude?

6:59 You're starting to become a Cheeto. You look like Donald Trump. Veto the Cheeto. And you're like, the real question is, why are you so focused on me, bro? And actually, the real question is, why are you driving that fucking piece of shit hovel on wheels? Thing's an absolute piece of crap, bro. Oh, you might as well have a Prius with a brown door and a burrito decal on the hood, you fucking sea donkey. And you flip it on them. Obviously, always joking, being composed, having a smile on your face.

7:26 But what that is, is banter. Your friends teasing you is banter. Your friends fucking with you, challenging you. Girls doing the same thing. It's banter. They want to see if you could throw it back at them. And those terms, the real question is, the better question is, or what we should actually be talking about is, and you saying something about her, thus flipping the tables, is banter 101. And that's why those are my four favorite words in the English language. Tattoo that on your fucking face, bro.

7:55 The real question is, anytime somebody challenges you, asks you a why question, why are you eating that? Why are you wearing that? Why are you going to that school? Why are you watching that TV show? You just say, the real question is, why aren't you watching this TV show? You obviously don't got your life together, bro, if you don't like this TV show. This shit's the shit. And that there is frame control. I'm so confident in my interpretation of reality that I'm going to question you, especially when you question me.

8:24 You say to me, dude, why are you sagging your pants, bro? I can see your butt. The real question is, why are you staring at my ass? You see how it's all about the other. You have to make it about the other person. And that goes into the next technique of banter. Is that what you do? So a girl says something really mean to you, you'd be like, is that what you do? A guy comes up to you and the first thing you say is something completely mean like that.

8:46 Has that worked for you? Is that what they tell you to do in the girly magazines? And you're teasing with her. Then she might say, yeah, it is what they tell me to do in the girly magazines. Then you're like, how's that been working for you? I see there's a line of guys around the bar waiting to talk to you. You're getting picked up so much, you're starting to grow handles, which is another phrase you could throw in to add to the banter. For example, she's like, don't talk to me.

9:09 I've been approached by enough guys. I've been picked up enough tonight. And you're like, yeah, you've been picked up so much, you're starting to grow handles. So anyway, you blow past it, that's bantering, that's messing around. She throws something at you, you throw it right back at her with a smile on your face. Because what is bantering? It's kids on the schoolyard. Once a kid gets butt hurt, specifically if he's the little boy who gets butt hurt by a little girl, she's over it. She's blowing him out.

9:36 She's disinterested. So you have to be cool, composed, no matter what she says, boys. She says, is that one of your pickup lines? What would you say to that? Well, let's go back to the lesson. The real question is, the real question is, is that one of your pickup lines? Is that what you say to all the guys when they approach you? How's that been working for you? Or my favorite one, how many numbers did you get tonight? She says, you say, I got nine numbers, one more, and I would have had a full, full number.

10:03 She laughs. You guys are bantering. That's what bantering is. It's challenging. It's play fighting. Anytime she challenges you, you could throw a why right back at her. Okay, so she's like, why would you come talk to us? And you'd be like, why would you say that? I'm seriously confused. Why would you even bring that up? Like, what are you doing? Or she's like, not interested. And you're like, oh, you're not interesting. That's okay. I'm sure we could work that out. Let's work on that. You're not interesting.

10:31 Here, here's a question for you. What would you do without any chance of failure? Or what would a billboard on the side of the freeway say if you had the opportunity to write on it anything you wanted? Now we're bantering. Now we're throwing it back and forth. We're fucking around. And guys, I'm going to get into how to sexually banter in a minute because bantering is not just challenging stuff. It's also playful stuff that goes into sexuality. But when they challenge you, you got to throw it back in a playful way.

10:58 Right? She throws a rock at you. You catch it. You look at it. And you say, ha ha. And you fucking huck it across the lake, skipping it across the water, showing her that I will not be affected by you. Another one is, I can see you're pretty fired up about XYZ thing, which I'll do a lot of times to girls who are like arguing their point with me very stubbornly. For example, she's like super anti-Trump. And I want to get a rise out of her.

11:24 And I'm like, god damn, I should have worn my MAGA hat tonight. And she fucking comes unpeeled, loses her shooter marble, loses her precarious sense of her own composure. She's like, oh my god, I fucking hate Trump. He's such a piece shit. I'll be like, whoa, relax. You're getting a little bit fired up. I'm fucking with you. Relax. I knew it was going to get a rise out of you. So I'm fucking with you. Here's the thing, boys. If you could tease a girl and she is more reactive than you are, meanwhile, you're more composed than she is, she will get attracted to you.

11:56 That's banter. One thing I like to say lately is, whoa, Sarah, I didn't mean to activate your nervous system on that one. Take it easy. I'm fucking with you. That's messing with her. She's like, you didn't activate my nervous system. I'm like, your nervous system is on all cylinders, dude. Fucking straight from the bottom of the spinal cord all the way to your prefrontal cortex, just like snapping pissed off. She's like, no, I'm not. You're the one who's pissed off. You'd be like, yeah, I'm super fired up right now.

12:24 Can you see the steam coming out of my ears? I'm so upset. Calm down, Sarah. Listen, go ahead and take a second to step back, take a deep breath and get over this whole thing. I'll wait. See, that's play fighting. That's playful banter. On that note, boys, about two years ago, I recorded an episode about play fighting. If you search my name, Mark Singh, play fight technique, that's a really good example of how you can play with her, fight with her, mess with her to get more attraction.

12:54 One of my biggest openers is I'll go up to a girl, specifically at a bar I go to. I'll look in the mirror that's over the bar, wait until she sees me in the mirror, and then I'll bump her with my arm and be like, what's up, punk? You trying to fight? And you would think, wait, aren't you being violent? Aren't you like being combative? No, I'm being playful. I'm bantering. And oftentimes they'll be like, oh, I'd kick your ass. I'll be like, what you got?

13:16 You've been training? What you training in? And then we will role play, bantering, about how we're going to kick each other's butts. Great opener. So remember, boys, messing around, play fighting, getting into situations where you can tease each other. And don't forget those terms. The real question is, the better question is, or what we should be talking about is, this is the way to get into bantering. All right, now, as I said, bantering is not only in the way of play fighting or only in the way of the beginning of a conversation.

13:48 Once you guys get attraction, bantering comes into all levels of your interaction. You guys are going to say cute and maybe flirty things with each other in the beginning. Once she starts getting attracted, you can say something like, don't look at me with those eyes. Don't do that. You're going to regret what happens. And she's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to regret it. I'd be like, ah. Do you want a guy to kiss you in front of everybody right now? I don't think you want that.

14:14 A guy like me with such a horrible reputation, they're going to think you're a horrible girl. She's like, I'm going to look at you the way I want. That's bantering. See, it's flirty once, and I have to reiterate this, once she's attracted enough to do it. Remember, guys, she's the barometer for your escalations. If you start trying to get flirty too soon, if you try to take it sexual too soon, she's going to get turned off. We only escalate when she's ready to escalate. So before I go sexual with it or even flirty with it, I'm waiting for her to get attracted to me first.

14:46 By doing bantering that doesn't show my interest in her but instead teases her, play fights with her, messes with her, or we're like talking about something else and bantering about that, then she gets attracted. Then she might get flirty with me. Then I'm going to banter with her back in that flirty kind of way. Do you know the best way to get a girl to send you nude pictures? You guys all perked up now, didn't you? You're like, what? I was falling asleep a little bit, picking the lint out of my belly button, but he said, nudes, now I'm listening.

15:16 Pay attention, you fucking sea donkey, because I'm going to teach you how to do it. The way you do it is this. You tell her, hey, I was thinking about you today, and I kind of got a little bit uncomfortable. And she's like, why'd you get uncomfortable? You'd be like, you know that black dress you wore? Yeah, it's kind of fucking me up. And she's like, what do you mean? Well, I was in public, and I was thinking about it, and I was sitting down, and let's just say the table started to raise without me using my hands.

15:40 And she's like, oh, it did, did it? You'd be like, yeah, but let's not talk about it, because it's going to get me turned on, and I don't want to be embarrassed. What's she going to do? She's going to want to embarrass you. She's going to want to banter with you, flirt with you. She's going to send you nudes, dude. I've done this so many times. Where you say, don't send me nudes, little girl, because it's going to turn me on. And I'm under a blanket right now on the beach, and suddenly I'm going to be under a tent, because you're going to give me a boner the size of the Sears Tower.

16:06 Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Fucking nudes flying in. This is the way to banter. This is the way to think differently than X plus Y equals Z, and I'm going to get the girl with my resume. You're not, dude. You need to be charismatic. You need to banter. Humor. And this is how you do it. So once you guys start flirting, you could be like, yeah, you know, we should never kiss. Definitely should never kiss. And she's like, why? You'd be like, well, you know, there's a lot of innocent people in this room, and I can tell we have chemistry.

16:35 If we kissed, explosion. This whole fucking place would just explode like a J-damn bomb was dropped on the place because of all the chemistry. So don't touch my hand. Don't get near me. We are definitely not kissing. Besides, you're a terrible kisser. I could tell. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. What do you do? What do you got? Well, I do this and this. Oh, that sounds pretty good. What else you got? Oh, I do this and this. Okay, stop. You're right. I think you might be decent.

16:59 It's kind of turning me on a little bit. The last thing I need is to walk around with the tent in my pants. So slow down, little girl. That's bantering where you're messing with her, and you guys are flirting in a funny, mischievous kind of way that can also somewhat contain play fighting, right? Like I'm like, don't look at me like that because you're giving me a boner. That kind of shit is bantering. And again, it can be done sexually and should be done sexually. Now, as you guys heard at the top of the show, I'm going to drop some lines in your lap that you can use.

17:28 Use these where you feel fits best. Usually in like the beginning of the conversation, kind of before she's really attracted, but the attraction is developing. So here we go. You're probably the kind of girl who alphabetizes her spice rack, huh? You're probably that kind of girl, aren't you? Oh, you're one of them? Damn, I was really hoping you were normal. Like she says something or does something stupid, you'd be like, oh my God, you're one of them again. I really thought you were normal. Again, playfully busting her chops, a smile on your face.

17:57 I see what you're doing. You're trying to impress me. It's working, but just tone it down a little bit. It's a little bit try hard. Oh, it's try hard, huh? Oh, yeah. So try. Look at all the energy you're putting in and trying to impress me. Good job. You're impressing me. I'm impressed. You can slow down now. That's fucking with her. That's banter. Hold on. Let me take notes. I'm fascinated by this level of nonsense. Careful. You keep looking at me like that, and I'm going to start charging you rent.

18:24 Are you flirting with me, or are you just naturally this ridiculous? That's cute. You rehearsed that in the mirror before coming out tonight? I don't know what's more impressive, your confidence or your ability to be completely and utterly wrong. This is fun. You say dumb things, and I pretend like I'm actually taking you seriously. Is that what you say to all the guys? Love saying that to girls. I bet you're the president of the fun police, huh? Like she's being boring or she's being stupid. I bet you're the president of the fun police, aren't you?

18:54 Or you should say, I bet you're the president of the itty bitty titty committee, aren't you? No, I'm just kidding. Don't say that shit. And the last one, boys, I knew you were trouble the moment you opened your mouth. There's so many of these. I have one where I point my cell phone at her, and I'm pressing buttons. She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm trying to turn you down. Where's the volume on this fucking thing? Messing with her playfully. That's what banter is.

19:18 So, boys, I want to leave you with a way to practice this shit. Do you guys have friends? I sure hope you do. Practice on your friends. Bust their chops. Mess with them. Fuck with them. They'll come back at you. You come back at them. Now, suddenly, you guys are play fighting. And guys do this all the time. In fact, in my coaching program, if I'm not ripping on you and teasing you, it's because I don't like you. Guys express their love for one another by ripping on each other.

19:45 So, I always tell my guys in the program, I'm like, brothers, the more I rip on you, and it's joking. Guys know I'm just fucking around. And I talk about how they like to finger blast girls' buttholes and shit. It's not serious, right? But the more I mess with dudes, it's because I like them a lot. Lastly, boys, and I forgot to mention this. I want you to really pay attention to what you have about you specifically. Let's say you're really tall, like a client I just had.

20:09 His name was Brian. Or let's say you're really short, like another client I had. His name was Joe. Or you're bald, like another client I have, Isaac. What's up, Isaac, if you're listening? What's up, Joe? What's up, Brian? If you have something special or specific about you, you have to have a joke ready for it. The guy who's really tall, you say, yeah, it kind of blew out my dream of becoming a horse jockey. The guy who's bald, I love being bald. It makes me more aerodynamic.

20:33 I could get to my mailbox and save three seconds off my travel time. You have to have something witty and funny to say about what you are and what you do, right? I wear hats all the time. Girls will sometimes say, why do I always see you in a hat? And I'll say, oh, it's because I'm completely bald underneath my full head of hair. And it kind of makes them laugh. But it's because I have something about me that's consistent and girls always question. So I have a funny banter line lined up to make her laugh when she questions me about it.

21:02 How many times have I been asked, how many girls have you talked to tonight? And my standard answer is always, well, I've talked to 535 girls. 570 is my goal. So I have 35 more to go. I believe I can do it. Your number, what is it? 536. Do you want to take a number? I actually have numbers you could take because I'm talking to so many girls. I got to organize you. Like I got to put you in quadrants and stuff. What was your name again? Shadinesty, was it?

21:26 Shadinesty? That's banter, boys. You have to be ready for what they're going to say. And again, those four magic words. The real question is, you idiots. Have that memorized and you will never lose another bantering, fake play fight argument again. You will come out with her attracted to you, which of course is the point. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.