Why 2 Expert Pick-Up Artists Decided to Marry Their Dream Woman (And Why You Should, Too!): With Robbie Kramer

0:00 What advice would you give to guys about like, let's say you have a guy listening. He probably pulls like a couple of sevens here and there, you know, some sixes, maybe an eight once in a while. And he wants to get that out of the system. But like you and me, he does have that traditional viewpoint of marriage and what it can bring to his life. How would you direct him to make his decision and go down that path? There's really three things you can work on.

0:23 You can work on yourself as a product. You can work on your marketing. So how you basically interface with women and how you get yourself in front of them. And you can be in the best market, right? So if you have three of those things optimized, then you're going to have the most options of the highest quality women. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I super appreciate you. And I'm going to do something today that I never do.

0:45 And that's have a guest on. And I'll tell you what, boys, this guest has to be amazing to even have a glimmer of a hope to come onto my podcast. Because every single day I get these emails from these idiots that's like, Dr. Rosenstein invented vibrating anal beads. Can he come on your podcast and share the benefit of sexuality? And I'm like, fuck no, dude. Piss off. But Robbie Kramer, who hosts the Inner Confidence podcast, has come on today. Robbie, welcome. Thank you so much for joining me.

1:26 Great to be on, Mark. That's so funny you say that, dude. I get so many of those emails every day from these annoying podcast bookers. And can you have this person on this person? And I'm just like a hard no on all guests for the most part, unless it's someone who's super legit and I trust and I know, like yourself, who's been on mine. And yeah, it's so pathetic, all these. Oh my God, I'm so sick of those emails. Five a day. Five a day. Five a day.

1:50 Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. And my, my, uh, assistant Laura, she just deletes them. I'm like, just delete them or reply saying, Hey, sorry, Mark likes to be alone on this podcast. But when we have a champion like you, it comes around. Absolutely. I want you back on. We've known each other for like six years. Now you came on the podcast on like 2019. And at the time you were living in Ukraine and getting, what was it? Explain what you were doing, like play by models. You had some sort of setup.

1:50 Could you, could you outline that for us? Yeah. So my buddy had the rights to shoot the playboy calendar for Ukraine playboy. Um, so every, every year we would do a trip typically to the Maldives where we would, uh, he was a photographer. We also brought like celebrity photographer, well, you know, Instagram celebrity photographer. Some of these, uh, Slavic guys, Ukrainian, Russian guys had like millions of followers. So they would come, they'd bring some girls. We would do castings for girls in Ukraine. I would even, you know, bring some potential friends from the U S and we would, we'd charter a yacht and we'd do like a six or seven day trip.

2:49 Sometimes we did them in villas. Sometimes we did them in castles and it was a photo shoot and a party. And it was crazy and wild. And some of the craziest times of my life, you could say. So I was doing these like every, um, and we'd come up with other reasons to, to do them. Not just for like the photo. I mean, there's always a round of photo shoot, but sometimes it was for the playboy calendar. Sometimes it was for, you know, a different person's like birthday party or this or that.

3:09 But if we, we had just a huge social circle of cool girls and guys that we met, um, over there. And, you know, like everyone wants to come back to a great party. So it just sort of fed itself. And, uh, yeah, I was doing that from 2018 till about 2020 when I met my, my wife. So two, two years of pretty intense socializing and partying. And I was also obviously doing my main business, you know, the podcast, running my coaching, um, for the guys. And I was integrating that together.

3:46 I'd have the guys who are really advanced and who could, you know, hold frame in an environment like that around really beautiful women. I'd invite them along. And, uh, it, it was wild cause you just see beautiful women in an environment that's totally, you know, outside of what most guys are used to, right? You're in an environment where there's a ratio usually of two or three to one women to men. And that's actually a more natural environment because women enjoy competing for, for men. They like to be in a space where there's other beautiful women.

4:30 The guys aren't thirsty. The guys aren't grabby or touchy. You know, there's not an overwhelming amount of like dick coming at them. And, you know, girls are way better at socializing. So when you put a bunch of girls in a room with just a small number of, you know, cool dudes, like you have amazing experiences. That's how like the best sort of parties should be run and the best socializing should happen. So the super eyeopening just to kind of get into that spot took me, you know, 10 years of, of learning game and learning value and how to exchange value and how to get on the radar of other guys, you know, and, and the way that I met this guy was interesting.

5:13 I went, I was invited to a party and I show up at the party and I didn't have a girl with me. And the guy who invited me, he was like, Oh, we don't need to bring girls. There's going to be like 40 girls there. I'm like, that's exactly why we need to bring girls. So the guy who's running the party doesn't see us as like a mooch. And he's like, ah, it's fine. And this guy ended up banging one of the girls that he met that night and trying to like get away with it from the guy who's hosting the party.

5:39 Where I did the opposite. I, you know, I connected with him. I was like, dude, this is amazing. You could create this. I do a sort of similar thing because I was running model houses and stuff back in the U S before I moved to Ukraine and had a similar setup in terms of like ratios and, and being able to create an environment like that, where you have more women befriending promoters and whatnot. But I connected with him and I made that event about like bro-ing out with him.

6:02 And then of course we became friends and then he then wanted me to participate in all the other events he was throwing. Cause it's really hard to find other guys who don't immediately like blow their load in an environment where there's so many girls around. So, you know, when it's not necessarily tricky or complicated, but you would just have to remember, like prioritize the guys. If you can find one guy who's a beast with girls and befriend that guy and bring the guy value, like you, you'll never have to like hunt for girls again.

6:31 But most guys are just so short term focused on getting laid. It's very hard for them to get there. First of all, condolences to you on having to get married. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm just kidding. Terrible. Just kidding. Of course, we're going to, we're going to talk about that in a minute. Cause I made the same mistake, which we're going to talk about, but, but secondly, okay, fine. So, and we're not going to spend too much time on this. I want to get into the marriage part, but the guys are curious.

6:57 How did you get laid? How often did you get laid? They, they just want to know a man. Was it just an ass parade or like, what was that like? I was keeping stats. So in 2018, I bang 58 or 62. I can't remember exactly. I could check my, my notes, but it was like a girl a week. Right. And obviously there was a lot of repeat customers. So I had a squad or a harem, whatever you want to call it. Like I had such a huge harem. It wasn't even like a harem.

7:28 You could say it was just, I had so many friends who were more than friends where I would, you know, throw a party or just have people over. I had girls living with me. You know, I, I was having so much sex that it sort of became monotonous almost to an extent, right? Like I never thought I could get sick of, of sex with new girls, but after a while, it's just like, okay, like this was fun. This was great. I just got off, but I was always very picky too.

7:58 I wasn't trying to like run up numbers per se. It was, you know, these were girls that I liked and I liked having relationships with them. And because I was having sex with a lot of people, whatever, like I would talk to the girls about the other guys they were fucking. I would talk to, I would tell the girls about other girls. A lot of it was group stuff, you know, I'd have two girls and another girl would come over and we'd just all start hooking up.

8:20 You know, I was living like a Hugh Hefner sort of lifestyle. It's just girls all around, photo shoots happening, girls half naked. And they were always seeking me out for sex. It wasn't me being like, I'm horny, let's fuck. It was the girls being like, I need dick. You know, they'd come back from a party or they would have a bad date and they'd, they'd just show up at my place. And my place was just always like an open, I had like a four bedroom place in the middle of Kiev.

8:44 And it was on the top floor of a commercial building. There was like law offices below us. So there was no one there between, you know, 8 p.m. and 8 a.m. or 6 p.m., whatever. So it was just like a revolving door of fun and girls. And I'd say my full body count after it was all said and done was somewhere between 300 and 400. But when I was living over there in Ukraine and just running all of these, you know, running my social circle there. Yeah, it was, it was, it was a lot.

9:15 But ultimately I got, I got bored of that. I wanted to kind of enter a new phase of life. Maybe it was because I was nearing 40. I was 38 at the time. And I just started like the, the marginal utility of more sex and a new girl became less and less interesting. It was like, I'd rather go, you know, play hockey or work on a cool business thing or do something else. Like the, the novelty started wearing off. What would you tell a guy who doesn't experience that and yet wants to experience it?

9:48 Do you try to get your clients to go experience that first before they settle down? Or is it just like, Hey bro, trust me, take it from me. It gets old. Find your girl and settle down. That's a really good question. I tell them the former. I tell them if they want to have that experience, they owe it to themselves to go out and do it. And because you only get, you know, one chance being Mark Singh or being Robbie Kramer, like whatever you believe in, right?

10:15 There's, you only get one shot to be you, right? In this life. And if there's something that you want, don't judge yourself for wanting it. Just go make it happen, right? Because I used to judge myself. Oh, Robbie, you're shallow. All you want is like girls and this and that. And that never got me anywhere. But when I finally went out and did the hard work to make it a reality, then I was like, fuck yeah, man. Like you did that. That's amazing. Like, you know, some guys aspire to be like multi-billionaires.

10:42 I never really cared about that. You know, as we were talking about, I grew up in Orange County, not from like a rich family, but like upper middle class, you could say. So I didn't need to go out and like validate myself with a bunch of wealth or anything like that. But I did grow up kind of like dorky. You know, I was a little kind of the chubby kid who didn't get girls in middle school and got passed over. And so I got a little bit of a chip on my shoulder.

11:03 And that's why game became so appealing to me. Because I was like, I want to get the results that like I see some of my buddies getting where they can just like walk into a bar and like pull the hottest girl or they're always getting laid. And I'm like, I want to be able to do that, too. What's stopping me from doing that? So just kind of reaching the top of the mountain and having all those experiences was like such an amazing like, fuck, yeah, I did it.

11:24 And no one can take that away from me sort of experience that I see. I see rappers doing that same thing. You know, it's just a different sort of validation. But it's like, don't judge yourself for doing that. Just go fucking do it. Like there's nothing stopping you from doing that. I tell my clients the same thing. I just think you need to get out of your system. Otherwise, you're always going to be peripherally wondering. You know, if you just settle down with the first girl you meet on Tinder who looks like a mountain troll, you're like, bro, like, could I have improved this shit?

11:55 Yes, you can. And in my opinion, you need to get that out of your system. But there's the same thing for me. There's only so much sex. And I mentioned this in the podcast that we just recorded. My mentor eventually told me, he's like, bro, what's with you and like your addiction to pussy? Like all pussy is basically the same thing. One is just like the other. Why are you trying to like bang so many? And for me, it came to pass that I didn't feel like I was worthy of love and I needed to prove to myself that I had game because I got cheated on.

12:22 And there's always some psychological issue. However, I do believe that guys should get that out of their system because let's not lie to each other, boys. We all want to do it. And it's pretty fucking cool when you're doing it. But eventually it gets old and then you settle down. So the title of this episode is going to be Why Two Expert Pickup Artists Got Married to Their Dream Woman. You are definitely an expert pickup artist. And while I haven't had the same experience, I believe that I'm pretty damn good, too.

12:52 Maybe not to the Robbie Kramer level, right, of the playboy. No, man, you're you're just as up there as me. It's just different different roads, different paths. Yeah, I did it the hard way. You're a fucking lazy bum about it. I like to life hack. So I try to find the leverage points, you know. Love that. That's what I say to my boys. I'm like, when Delta Force goes and takes out the Taliban, they don't show up in the middle of the day when the Taliban have their machine gun ready.

13:19 They show up at night with nods on and they sneak in. That's the way you got to hack the system. And we both teach how to do that. So while you're doing this, you meet your current wife. Was she a playboy model? Like, what was her deal? How did you meet her? So she was a model. She was actually a Miss Ukraine finalist, but she was more of like a studious. Like, she got a scholarship to attend a university in Ukraine. She's from Zaporizhia. And she wasn't in that, like, party girl crowd because we were attracting a very sort of specific type of girl who, like, wanted to pose for Playboy, right?

13:53 Like, that was it's an archetype of a type of girl. And she was, like, more of, like, a high-end fashion model, you could say. And I met one girl at one of these parties, and she was a total, like, fish out of water. She was just, like, uncomfortable. She felt like, oh, my God, there's all these girls, like, running around and, like, you know, partying. And I could just – she wasn't, like, uncomfortable in a bad way. She just seemed shy. And I went over to her.

14:16 Her name was Anya. And I was, like, hey, like, if anything gets crazy, like, you can just, you know, you can come to me and, like, I'll, you know, I'll be your shepherd or whatever. And so we became friends. And I even had her sort of help me with some business project. I was making these shirts that say fucking PZDX, which is, like, a funny sort of English-Russian-Ukrainian saying. It means, like, shit happens, basically, but in a more vulgar way. I remember thinking to myself, like, I need to friend zone this girl because I guarantee she has other girlfriends that aren't such crazy party hoes.

14:48 Because I was – and I tell this to my clients back to your other question, like, as you get the party ho stuff out of your system, as, like, you hook up with, like, a lot of crazy fun girls like strippers or porn stars or whatever, like, you'll inevitably fall in love with a couple of those girls. And they'll inevitably cheat on you or do, you know, crazy shit that you'll be, like, damn, you know, like, cocaine is great. But if I do cocaine all the time, that's not good for me, right?

15:14 And that's how these party girls are. Like, they're not interested in long-term relationships or this or that or the other. But, you know, it's fun to have those experiences nonetheless. And I had had, you know, a series of, like, pretty bad heartbreaks from girls who were, like, I fell in love with. And I was like, oh, maybe we could, like, leave the party scene together. And, you know, after making that mistake, like, five or six times, maybe ten, I can't remember, I was like, Robbie, you should probably find a girl who's fun but maybe not so insane.

15:46 Someone who's interested in, like, building a relationship, not just, like, being the hottest thing in the room and having all the validation. Because that's what, you know, people are playing that game. Like, I was playing that game, too. And I did that to a lot of girls. And, you know, as we were talking, I'm going to be a girl dad and you're a girl dad. And that's life's way of giving us the karma of, I could tell that she was different. Well, sorry. I could tell this girl Anya was different.

16:13 And then I ended up meeting Maria, my wife, through Anya. And it was funny because I even had the reputation of being, like, a total playboy and a man whore and all that stuff. And Maria knew about me through her friend Anya. But Anya was like, trust me, whatever you've heard about Robbie, he's not like that. He's super cool, super down to earth. Like, of course, people say that, like, he's a player and he fucks all the girls. And he does. But he's, like, a really good guy.

16:37 And he's, you know, he likes all these girls. And he takes care of them. And he's, you know, he's genuine. And so when she met me, and she had heard other things from, like, other guys who were salty of my results or whatnot. So she came over to smoke shisha at my place during COVID. And that's how I met her. I met her through my friend. And that's how I tell guys, like, the best way to meet someone is through your social circle. You've got that pre-selection and the status.

17:01 And it doesn't matter if you have a reputation of being kind of like a cad or a fuckboy, whatever. That's not going to hurt you. That's the story. Sorry if that was a little long-winded. But no, I love it, man. It's always guys like you and me. And it was the same thing with me and Marissa. We go for the party girls because they're hot and they're, like, fun and easy to hook up with. But it's just like you said. It's like cocaine or what I like to say.

17:28 I don't do drugs. I never have. It's like cotton candy. It's a quick rush of sugar. And it's fun. But it's so unbelievably unfulfilling. And after you eat that whole cotton candy, you kind of feel like shit. And, dude, like, it's gross, man. Having sex with lots of chicks and kissing them, it's like spit and dick, butt and pussy. It's butt-doocy. And your whole room stinks. And you find out later she had herpes. And this other girl's mad at you. And it's just a clusterfuck. I mean, you guys should go do it.

17:58 Be careful with your reputation. I had to move out of Arizona because I blew out my reputation. And I was a lot more comfortable with it in Colorado. And so I met Marissa in a supermarket. It was, like, 11 o'clock at night. She was dressed in leather pants and a little crop top. And she had the bob cut. I love chicks with the bob cut. You know, with the bangs. And I see her in there. And I'm like, God damn, there's a stunner. And she was looking at peaches.

18:26 And I just walked up. And I was like, how are the peaches today? Yesterday they weren't ripe. And she's like, oh, they're okay. And then I was like, do you always get dressed up to go fruit shopping? And then she said to me, this is when I knew this chick was dope. She's like, do you always look like a homeless man when you come fruit shopping? And I was like, I do, actually. I live in a cardboard box right outside of the supermarket. So, yeah, you called me out.

18:47 And we just, we hit it off. You know, those good girls are hard to find. Not hard. They're out there. But those good girls are a little bit rare. And when you get one, you lock her down. So my question for you is this. You were in Kiev, which, of course, is in Ukraine. Didn't you leave right before it was invaded? How did you get out of there? What happened there? Yeah, so Russia had, like, 150,000 troops, like, stationed at the border. And Putin was saying, oh, it's just an exercise and blah, blah, blah.

19:19 And, you know, luckily my mom, who's a, you know, very protective Jewish mother, she was like, Robbie, you need to leave. Like, I think Russia's going to invade. And it was so funny because I think the Ukrainian government knew it was coming, obviously, but they didn't want to scare the population. So they kept saying, like, oh, it's fine. Nothing to worry about. Luckily, it was kind of like the dead of winter at that time because they invaded in February. And Maria and I had left Ukraine the winter before.

19:47 We went to Mexico and spent, like, five months there. And our plan was to take our two dogs. And I had just bought a car and to drive down to Turkey and spend the cold winter in, you know, beautiful Turkey. So we left in January. We had to get all the dog passports. And Ukraine is very, they have a lot of annoying bureaucratic shit you got to deal with, like, documents and whatnot. So we wanted to leave earlier in, like, November. But we ended up leaving January.

20:14 And then, yeah, I remember the morning that I read on the news that they invaded. And I had so many friends that were there that had to, like, you know, get out. And it took them, like, three days to get to the border and get out in, like, a crazy panic and whatnot. So I'm just really glad that we got out ahead of time and got to skip all that. What happened to Maria's family? Are they okay? Yeah, so they're in, not far from the front lines, actually.

20:38 Zaporizhia is very close to the front lines. So there's always, like, a risk of shelling and bombs and whatnot. But I haven't been back since the invasion. I still have my car over there. I still have my place. I had a bunch of Airbnb properties over there that I was renting and subletting as a nice little, you know, side hustle. And I own one office there that still, luckily, we have tenants in there because it's on its own generator. It's got, like, a – because that's the thing is now I still have friends and clients who live there.

21:06 But there's rolling blackouts all the time because they're always targeting, you know, the energy infrastructure. But as far as, like, a place to go, if you're a very risk-loving passport bro, you know, the ratio of men to women over there, it's absolutely insane. Really? Yeah, because the men are fighting, right? The men are fighting. You know, I know guys who are, like, locked up in their rooms or in their house because if they go outside, they'll get picked up and sent to the military. And so, you know, it's, like, guys who are required to fight, like, they will be drafted and they'll be fighting.

21:44 So, like, nightclubs are open. There's a curfew. I think it's midnight in Kiev. But restaurants are open. But, you know, there's not a lot of foreigners there, obviously. But if you're willing to go and risk that, it's just girls. It's a problem, you know, over there. For the women, there's just not enough guys. But luckily, I feel like the tide's changing a little bit with the war. Ukraine has done such a good job of utilizing, like, drones and tech more so than Russia. So I am hopeful that they can prolong this out long enough to win.

22:11 But we'll see. They need more help. So are you allowed as an American to go to Ukraine? You're actually allowed to fly in there and do that? I think that's worse. I think that's worth the risk, bro, to get some super hot Slavic women. I think it's worth it, man. It's a great opportunity. Yeah. I mean, you got to. So you got to fly into Poland. Then you got to take the train or you can drive. But it's absolutely, like, a crazy ratio in your favor.

22:38 Women are, like, I have a buddy who's, he's Argentinian. So he can be in Russia. Because if you're American, obviously, they're not going to want you in Russia. But he lives in St. Petersburg. And same sort of deal. Because all the Russian guys are getting drafted, too. And he's got girls approaching him, you know, day gaming him. Like, anywhere he goes, it's just, it's nuts. Girl walks up to you. She's like, could I ask your opinion on something? Who has more, men or women? You're like, wait, what?

23:07 You're gaming me? Did you see the fight outside? That's crazy. Okay. So the ultimate question, bro, is, and I know my reason. Why did you get married, though? You have so much game. You're a girl magnet. Why would you throw away, squander this opportunity? Robbie, why would you do that? It's funny, because I had to really think about that, right? Because there was the desire. You know, I grew up in a very awesome, loving, stable household. My parents are still married. You know, the oldest of four kids.

23:38 So marriage and children and that lifestyle was always a goal of mine. No divorces, actually, on either side of my mom and dad's side. You know, grandparents, all together. Like, no one's ever been divorced in my immediate family, which is pretty, you know, pretty insane. Me too, to come to think of it. Really? When you think about that. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I mean, how rare is that? Like, it's got to be extremely rare. So that was my model, right? And, yeah, I wanted to, like, go out and become this, like, guy who was amazing with women and have those experiences.

24:10 But I always, in the back of my mind, like, knew that when I grew up, that's what I aspired to. And, like I said, after having so many awesome experiences and sort of checking everything off my sexual bucket list, like, having a threesome was a thing that was on there, like, throughout my 20s. And then, you know, I finally met that bisexual girl in, like, my early 30s. And we had literally, like, 80 threesomes together. And then I had threesomes with other girls. So, like, I don't know.

24:36 It was just, like, the power behind it and the ability to do that. Yeah. Have you ever had a foursome? I have. Three girls and me, yep. Too much butt and pussy around, bro. Like, I'll never do that again. It was the most uncomfortable, horrible, high-pressure situation I've ever been in. Threesomes cool, but foursome, too much, guys. You don't want that shit. Too much pussy. You know, it's funny. Actually, I only had one or two foursomes. I think just one. I had, like, multiple, like, me and a guy and, like, six or seven girls or me and three guys and ten girls.

25:09 Like, you know, it's usually, like, once it becomes a group thing, like, if there's other cool people there, the group thing kind of expands some of the time. I've had a gazillion threesomes. But the thing that was great about the foursome was it was, like, three's a crowd, but, like, two couples are good. So, like, all three girls were really into each other, and we were all into each other, which is, like, the recipe for a good threesome. Like, the desire has to be there for everyone.

25:33 And so it was cool because it was, like, all four of us were hooking up, but it was, like, two and two, and then two swapped, and then two, and then, like, the... I think I was responsible for the whole lot, and it was not enjoyable. Yeah, if they're only interested in you, then it's just, like, too much to handle, right? And if the girls don't like each other, and you just... Yeah, it feels like a job. Like, you're trying to please everybody. Yeah. It was a job.

25:58 Okay, so you've had every sexual experience under the sun. You're having fucking orgies where the mailman shows up, and he's doing you in the butt, and you're like, wait a second, bro! Wrong hole, bro! Yeah, wrong hole, exit only, dog. Like, what are you doing? Okay, so you had all that shit, and you've had a really good upbringing, and you always wanted that. So you decided to get married. My question for you would be, why not just, like, stay with her, but don't get married? Why marriage?

26:28 That contract? You know, it was a respect thing. Like, I respected the shit out of her so much, and I loved who she made me show up as. Right? Like, having her around just made me want to work harder, provide more, be a better guy. Like, I got in way better shape since being with her, and it was all, like, not because I was worried she would leave. I like to brag about how I catfished her, and she always talks about how I catfished her, too, a little bit.

26:58 Right? Like, I wasn't as in good of shape. Like, I was not as well-dressed. Like, I was kind of a mangy street mutt, you could say. Like, doing pretty well, but, like, not, I look way better now than I have ever looked. And this was, you know, six years ago when we met. And I just respected the shit out of her. And I was like, I want to be with her forever. I want to, like, I want her to feel, I want her hopes and dreams to come true.

27:25 Like, I want to, like, give all of that, and I want that, too. So, everything was, like, in alignment, and, like, you know, she even told me, like, what ring she wanted, which was great, because I didn't have to, like, figure that out. I was like, okay, go to this store, get this ring. I knew what day we were going to get engaged, because we met on, you know, August 5th, and I, we had talked about, like, getting engaged on that same anniversary. So, I proposed to her on the golf course.

27:52 I have it on video on my Instagram if anyone wants to see. She was shocked and surprised. And then we got married a year later in Vegas on the 5th of 2022. So, yeah, to answer your question, it was, like, a respect, a mutual desire thing. And it was easy, because, like, I wanted to be married, too. And, of course, I, like, you know, I had all the shit in my head. Like, why would you get the government involved in your affairs? And, like, why do you need to marry?

28:19 You could just, but for us, you know, getting her to America, which was always kind of the plan, I at least wanted to be able to come here and maybe split our time between the U.S. and Ukraine. So, getting her citizenship and, like, a green card required marriage as well. So, that was, yeah, it all just sort of worked out. I love what you said, and I think this is the biggest point that both of us can bring to any guys listening, which is, does she make you better?

28:48 Does she make you better? And ameliorate your life. Ameliorate your life. Make your life better. Make you better. Become a teammate with you. And what I always tell my guys is, if you had to go spend the rest of your life on a desert island alone and you had to choose one person, would she be that person? And for me, it's absolutely yes. I have fun with her. We're a team. We work good together. And you guys are about to find out how good you work together, Robbie, once you have that kid.

29:15 And what was it, July 24th? Yeah. She's due? That's right. Good memory. Oh, man. Oh, man. So, what advice would you give to guys about, like, let's say you have a guy listening. He probably pulls, like, a couple sevens here and there, you know, some sixes, maybe an eight once in a while. And he wants to get that out of his system. But like you and me, he does have that traditional viewpoint of marriage and what it can bring to his life. How would you direct him to make his decision and go down that path?

29:44 What advice would you have there? Well, I would tell him to really look at, like, what's on his sort of sexual bucket list? Like, what are his goals when it comes to dating and women and sex? And to cross all of those things off. Because if you don't, you know, you might be looking over your shoulder. You might have the grass is always greener syndrome. You might get bored, right? Like, a thing that kept me out of monogamous relationships for a really long time, because I did the normal thing I think a lot of guys do, is to sort of be the serial monogamous when I got into the game, because I could finally now get some girls.

30:18 But I didn't have the frame to, like, you know, remain in a relationship that I wanted. So I'm like, okay, they want to be monogamous. I'll agree to that. And then I'll cheat. And just that's messy and drama. And so I needed to teach myself to, like, own the frame, be in open relationships, not agree to monogamy just because a girl wanted it. And then ultimately, I got to a place, like we've talked about, where, like, that I just didn't really need to do that. I wanted to move to the next stage of life.

30:43 There's really three things you can work on. You can work on yourself as a product. You can work on your marketing. So how you basically interface with women and how you get yourself in front of them. And you can be in the best market, right? So if you have three of those things optimized, and they're never going to be fully optimized, you work to optimize those things. Then you're going to have the most options of the highest quality women, right? And that may involve moving, right?

31:09 If you're in a shitty market, if you live in, like, bumfuck Indiana, where there's just not a lot of women, like, you're never going to succeed in that market. So you could take a guy with a great product, good game, good marketing, in a shitty market, and he's fucked. You got to move, right? You can be the opposite. You could be in LA, which is arguably a better market. But to be competitive in LA, you have to be really fucking good. Like, your game has to be on point.

31:33 Your product, as yourself, you got to be in shape. You know, you have to, your frame has to be amazing. Like, obviously, like, looks don't matter that much if your frame is good. But the competition's very high. An interesting thing, a little bit on, like, passport growing, like, going to Ukraine or going to Colombia or going to one of these places, like, if you're just doing that as a hack, the problem with that is you might meet an awesome girl there. But if your frame in your game isn't good enough, when you bring that girl back, she's going to realize, like, this guy's a loser back home.

32:04 And she will be in a market where there's a lot of high-quality men, and she'll probably leave you. And I've seen that happen with a lot of guys who try to hack the system, right? And so I didn't go to Ukraine because I couldn't get laid in the US. I went to Ukraine because I wanted to go to Ukraine, and it was fucking awesome. And it was a great opportunity. Maybe you go to Colombia for two or three years, and you get a lot of experience, and you have a lot of awesome sex with girls.

32:25 But at some point, you need to make sure, like, if I bring this girl back, like, she's not going to leave me for a better option. And if that's in your mind, she will, right? So, you know, you got to optimize for those three constraints. And there's one more constraint that I like to talk about, and that's brotherhood, right? Or having a community of wingmen, guys who you're, like, doing this shit with, right? Because doing, this is not a solo sport, right? Like, I talked about in my journey, like, it wasn't the girls that, like, allowed me to create that social circle.

32:55 It was the other guys that were, you know, on the same wavelength, wanting a similar sort of lifestyle, and we built it together. So it's like finding other guys, working on yourself, getting yourself to a place where you know that you're the man. You love yourself. You're like, fuck yeah, I'm the man. I deserve a girl of my dreams. And then she'll show up, and she'll realize you do. And that's, you know, it's a lot of hard work, but it's the most rewarding work you can possibly do.

33:22 And you owe it to yourself to fucking do it. Yes, you owe it to yourself. So what's the plan for you, man? You got a little girl on the way. What does the future look like? How many kids? How much are you going to destroy your life with children? Talk to me about it. That's a really good question. So we got the little girl on the way. I'd obviously like to have another one and hope it's a boy, just so who doesn't want that. But at the same time, like, I'm good if we decide just on one.

33:52 I'm pretty sure Maria wants to have more than one, and I'm good on that, too. I don't know if more than two, like, after two, I might be like, all right, we got our little, you know, our squad here. That could be good. But we'll see. I know I'm super inspired now to, like, work a lot harder, knowing that I'm going to have to provide for that. And, of course, living in Corona Del Mar, you know, it ain't cheap or easy here. I've been trying to enjoy a lot of golf and a lot of, like, freedom while I still have it before the baby comes, because, you know, I've heard a lot of words of wisdom from both you and, you know, everyone else.

34:28 You're not going to get any sleep. You're not going to have time for you. And I'm ready for it. Like, now that I'm 43, like, like, what the fuck else am I going to do? You know? Yeah, that's, dude, that's what, that's how old I was when I had my kid, 43. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, it's a good time. I wish I had a little more energy and also kind of mentally prepare yourself that Maria is not going to look the way she used to after she has a kid.

34:54 So, so get used to that. And that, too, is why it's important. You're just attracted to the person for their soul and their energy and the, the sexual chemistry, because, dude, Marissa, my wife, is 48 and she ain't no spring chicken, bro. Either am I. Yeah. You know, atrophy is something that's going to happen and you just have to love the person for them. And guys, even though Robbie and I have been with absolute stunners, I mean, models, it's not that that's important to you after a while.

35:24 It's the person's soul and even sexually, you are having sex on a, on a soul level, not just physically. And I'm still very drawn to her. I'm still super in love with her. And it's because I believe we're soulmates and we have that deeper connection. And I know you have that with your, your girl too, but just prepare yourself emotionally and they can be the same. And dude, I'm interested to see if you have another one, because after four years from when she was born to four years old, I was like, fuck this.

35:57 I'm never doing this again. Really? This was the hardest being a toddler. In my opinion, it was the hardest thing I've ever went through, but some guys just have, have a knack for it. And I think you could do it. And hopefully the second one's a boy, but just know you, you guys might decide. Yeah, fuck this. We're out. This is hard. So you guys are done with, with one no more. Cause she's six, right? She's six. We did try to have, uh, we had to do IVF by the way, and we had spent a lot of money just to get my daughter.

36:25 Her name is Lucia. Uh, she's my world. I love her more than anything. We had to spend a lot of money and we had a lot of eggs that didn't work out. So we probably went through 40 eggs just to get one. That was good. And we did try again because I wanted to have a son. We were going to name him Axel. I love it. Ax. And, and that failed. And honestly, now that she's six, I'm kind of glad it did. Cause I can't go through that again, bro.

36:51 That was, that was brutal, but it's also rewarding. Like you're going to feel things in yourself. I'm guaranteeing you, you do not know how much you can love until you have a child. You are going to discover the deepest love you've ever felt when you have that little girl. So get ready. The best moment of my life. Number one moment. And I've had some moments, believe me, just as you have was when she was born. I just lost it. I was crying. Like it was the most intense moment of my life.

37:20 That's happening for you, man. In just a couple months, dude, I'm so excited for you. Yeah. Yeah. It's coming up. I'm, I'm, I'm very excited, you know, I already feel like I'm a dad kind of, I've been good about like, you know, reading the books or whatnot, but like, you know, talking to the baby and just trying to like what she's going to look like, what her voice is going to be like. I remember when my wife was pregnant, everything's quiet and very calm, right? You're reading to it and you're like, I wonder what it's going to be like.

37:49 And then it happens and you're like, Whoa, this is crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, it's different. I think because they say women become mothers the second, you know, that they realize that they're pregnant and guys don't really become fathers until the baby actually is delivered. And then you, you know, you meet the baby and then you actually feel like a dad. And that's kind of what it sounds like. You had the experience that was super emotional. I've never talked about this on the podcast, but I'm going to wrap it up with, with one quick thing.

38:16 Continue talking to your baby in the womb because she will recognize your voice. And I'm not going to tell the whole story because I'm saving the story for my daughter's wedding. I don't want to give it too much away, but I will say this. I went up to her and I said, hi, Lucia, I'm your dad. And she stopped crying and looked at me. Wow. And she recognized my voice, dude. And like, I'm getting teared. I'm getting teared up just thinking about it. That was the single best moment in my life with second place being miles away.

38:48 Crazy. Yeah. So I'm excited for you, brother. Yeah. You know, it's inspiring. I'm going to talk to her more now. Yeah. Keep talking to her, sing to her, have her listen to your favorite music so that when you play in your car years later, as I do, I'm like, Lucia, do you remember the song? And she's like, yeah, I feel like I've heard this before. And I used to play it when she was in the womb. So congratulations to you, man. You're a fucking champion. I feel like if we live next to each other, we'd be homies for sure.

39:13 Like we just, we just click. Come on back. Move back to OC. Yeah, man. Well, I visit often. I'll hit you up when I do. But guys, you got to check out Robbie Kramer. He is the real deal. Real recognizes real. And I'll tell you, this man can definitely teach you. So tell the guys a little bit about where they can find you, kind of what your deal is and where you want them to go. Yeah. So go over to interconfidence.com. That's my site. Or you can just find me on Instagram.

39:40 I like to connect with, you know, whoever's listening to the show personally. I love when people reach out and like, hey, I heard your episode. That was awesome. And, you know, I like to kind of get nitty gritty with my clients. I work with usually like 20 to 30 guys very closely. And I help them build out that sort of framework I was talking about. You know, your product, your market, your marketing, and then find a brotherhood. And I like to connect guys within my network to live together and to do this stuff together.

40:06 So it's, you know, it's a very small vetted group of dudes who are like willing to go above and beyond and learn this stuff. So some of the guys are like total beasts. A lot of the guys are living over in Poland or, you know, like I said, a couple guys in Ukraine, some guys down in Colombia. So I tend to get a lot of the remote workers, you could say. So yeah, if you like my vibe, go on over, check out my stuff. And yeah, brother, super appreciate you on.

40:31 Once again, guys, innerconfidence.com. I will leave a link to it in the show notes. So Robbie, thank you so much for coming on and keep going, man. And good luck with that baby. I'm going to hit you up and be like, what's it like, man? You'll be like, holy crap, I haven't slept in three days. I'm going to need some coaching from you. I think I'm going to be hitting you up for some advice, I'm sure. Anytime, man, you know I'm available. So thank you once again.

40:53 Gentlemen, I drop podcast every Tuesday. So please come back for the next one and I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review. You have no idea how much that helps me. Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk.

41:26 Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.