Unlock Magnetic Eye Contact: Mark's Eye Contact Blueprint

0:00 I, Mark Sing of Denver, Colorado, son of Richard and Lusha Sing, father of Lusha Sing Jr., hereby decree that all saxophone solos be abolished in music from this day forward. Order in the court. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Uniform Mike Papa, the Unapologetic Man Podcast. And in this one, we are doing an eye contact masterclass.

0:45 That's right. We're going to talk all about eye contact, how to use it to get women more attracted to you and how more confident in order to maintain the right kind of eye contact with women. Because I'll tell you what, a lot of guys, especially when you're intimidated by a woman's looks, will have darting eyes, not be able to keep eye contact or looking at her way too intensely. You've seen this all the time in the bars and the nightclub. So we're really going to go over what the correct eye contact is and how you're going to get there by practicing it on people who don't really matter, which has been a theme that I've been discussing in my podcast episodes as of late.

1:25 So gentlemen, first and foremost, when you make eye contact in a situation where a woman is walking towards you and you want to meet eyes with her and you possibly want to get her attracted to you, it's absolutely essential that you are not the one who looks away first. So this is eye contact 101 where, brother, you have to win that staring contest. So let's say you're walking through the mall and you make eye contact with the cute girl that's coming towards you. Look at her, look at her, look at her until she looks away.

1:59 If you're the first one to look away, it looks cowardly. It looks feminine. It communicates that you're not controlling the frame and it is an extremely bad look. So we keep eye contact with the woman. We keep looking at her, keep looking at her. And by the way she looks away, which again, you have to be the one that wins that staring contest. I mean, there's nothing more cowardly looking in the eyes of a woman who, when she looks at you, you're the one who looks away first.

2:26 Now there is a subtle thing I want to add on to this in a minute about when it's okay to look away first. But generally speaking, if you want to get a girl attracted to you, then you look at her and a good trick is to look at her between the eyes. So you know where that unibrow used to be that you shaved off recently, that space right between the eyebrows. That's where you look. When you look there, people can't tell that you're looking there. It looks like you're making eye contact.

2:48 So if you're shy, just look in that space right there between the eyebrows, keep staring at her until she looks away. Now, if she looks down, some psychologists say that this is submissive behavior, which could indicate that she's attracted to you. But the big thing that I look for, and to me, it's super obvious, especially if you have decent eyesight, if you're not blind as a bat, you will be able to see this. What I look for is dilated pupils or a slight opening of the eyes the second she sees me.

3:17 When somebody is attracted to something, whether it's a member of the opposite sex, whether they're hungry and they see a delicious piece of steak sitting there, or whatever it may be, when you're attracted to something, your eyes will unconsciously open a little bit more to take in more light and thus take in more information. So you're walking along, you and a girl make eye contact. And by the way, this happens to us too. So be cognizant of it. It's not really easy to hide, but don't be like a deer in the headlights.

3:47 Like, oh my God, because that's the look that shows you're attracted. And it's the look that shows women are attracted. So as I'm walking, I like to be scanning, looking for cute girls, obviously, because that's the space we're in. We're looking for hot girls. And when I see one, I'll just kind of be looking at her, looking at her, looking at her. And the second she looks up at me, I look for that little, whoop, that little unconscious blip of the eyes where she's attracted and she's trying to take in more information.

4:11 Now, if she continues staring at me, I'm just going to keep it on, man. Like I've had girls do three seconds, five seconds, 10 seconds in a couple of instances. I'm not fucking looking away. No way in hell I am winning that staring contest. And if she looks away first, that's a very good sign. And then I could go open her, showing my dominance, showing my masculinity. She acquiesced to me, which means she went into her feminine energy, which is good. And then you can go open it up.

4:38 So some psychologists say, if she looks down, it's submissive behavior, which means she's more attracted to you. But you know what? I can kind of tell just by her reaction, and you will too, if you practice the stuff enough, if you feel she's attracted to you. Now, sometimes you'll get girls who look at you and then just look away as if they didn't even see you. That's a pretty bad sign. That means you really didn't make an impact on her. You were the gray man, as it were.

5:04 You were unnoticed, and your chances of her being attracted to you go down significantly. But you should still go approach her. Because as I always say, a girl who you don't approach, you just got rejected. If you don't go, you never know. And I want you to get that tattooed on your forehead so that when you make eye contact with yourself tomorrow morning, you'll see it. Every single time you don't go, it is a no. She is rejecting you. So fucking go talk to her. But what you do is you make eye contact with these girls.

5:33 Do not be the first one to look away and don't look at them like a lion on the Serengeti looking at a little gazelle they want to eat. Don't sit there staring at chicks licking your lips and freaking having your hand in your pants. That's a bad look. Just look at them very calmly. I also see that guys who are very good with eye contact kind of have a sleepy look to their eyes because they're comfortable in their environment. I've talked about this before in my body language episodes where when you're very comfortable in your environment, it means that you have a strong frame, you're not intimidated, and your eyes seem very relaxed.

6:08 Whereas guys who are uncomfortable in an environment such as new guys in nightclubs, guys who are super attracted to a girl, will have very wide fear-based eyes that are darting around everywhere. So remember to keep your eyes very relaxed. Just be walking through. You're just chilling. You're just looking at the girl. No big deal. You don't have a look on your face like you want to have sex with her. You're just looking at her. And then watch how she looks at you. Are her pupils dilated?

6:34 Did her eyes just go whoop really quickly with a quick opening? And if she acquiesces to you by A of all looking away first and B of all looking down, it's a good sign you can go open her up. If, on the other hand, she looks at you and then kind of looks away like she was looking at a piece of cardboard and interested her in no way whatsoever, not the greatest sign, but I still think you should open her. This goes into one of my techniques that I use all the time in the bars and the nightclubs, also bookshops, also Starbucks, supermarkets, wherever I happen to be.

7:09 Okay, what I'll do is when I see a cute girl, I'll kind of just look at her. Okay, I'll be looking at her for however long it takes for her to look up at me. Now, naturally, if I'm staring for like 10 seconds, I might break off and come back to the project in a few minutes because I don't want to look like a creeper to the other people. But honestly, fuck what they think. Okay, so I'll be looking at the girl. She'll look up at me, make eye contact.

7:29 I'll assess whether or not she's attracted to me by way of that unconscious dilation. If she does something that I deem to be her being attracted to me or her being interested, such as her pupils dilating, her looking away, maybe smiling a little bit and putting her head down, whatever it is, then I'll keep looking at her. And what I'll do is I'll wait for her to look back and then I'll give her a little wave. You know, not like my arm completely extended like, hey, over there, how you doing?

7:58 No, it's just chill, like, hey, what's up? And then if I feel she's really attracted, I may even say, hey, come over here. Now, getting a girl to come to you is a lot more difficult than you just going up and opening her. So what I suggest is look at a girl. She looks at you. She looks away first, always. Keep looking at her. She looks at you again. Give a little wave and then go talk to her. It's a great way to open up the door to opening a girl, kind of feeling out how she feels about you, seeing if she's at least a little bit attracted so you can go up more confidently.

8:31 When speaking to other women in nightclubs, you will catch girls looking at you from all over the place. The next time you're talking to a girl, look over her shoulder and there will be other girls looking at you. Girls will start migrating towards you. Girls will flip their eyes towards you because they're attracted to you because you're speaking to other girls, which is what's called pre-selection. You are pre-selected and that cute girl who you're talking to has validated you. Therefore, other women are going to be attracted to you.

9:01 Okay. Now we get into what to do when you're having a conversation with the girl. I am going to give you the secret to the perfect, absolute, most legit eye contact you could ever have with the woman. Here it is. Who is the person in your life that you're the most comfortable with? Who's the person in your life who you're the least intimidated by? Who's the person in your life that you feel the closest to emotionally and that you just have a really good place in your heart for?

9:29 That is the person who you have the perfect eye contact with. So the next time you talk to this person, pay attention to how much am I looking in this person's eyes? How much are they looking at me? Do I have my body shifted away from them and I'm looking somewhere else? Or do I have pretty good eye contact? Usually you're going to have good eye contact unless you have some really big self-esteem issues because of lack of eye contact is directly related to a lack of confidence.

9:51 It's almost like you don't want the person to see into your soul. And this, by the way, is when somebody's lying to you, they're not going to give you eye contact. There was an experiment done several years ago where people were instructed to talk to another person and count the times they blinked their eyes. So two people were simply sitting at a desk having a conversation with one another. One person was counting the blinks of the eyes of the other person and the other person didn't know it.

10:21 So they're just talking about whatever, right? They're just talking about football, the golf game, how the weather is, whatever. And unbeknownst to one person, the other was counting the blinks. After he or she counted the blinks, the person whose blinks were counted, the other person, was asked how much closest they felt to that person, how much they liked them. And when they counted the blinks, they liked them significantly more, like 200, 300% more. Why? Because the blink counting was just a way for the psychologist to get them to have good eye contact.

10:57 So as you're looking at the other person's eyes counting blinks, inevitably, it seems like you have good eye contact. So you're counting the blinks. Now the person is feeling much better around you. So generally speaking, more eye contact is better. However, I don't want you guys to look like stalker Texas Rangers. I don't want you to look like that lion on the Serengeti. I don't want you to look like you are trying to devour this chick because you're a fucking psychopath. That is not the right look.

11:22 Okay. The right eye eye contact comes from a level of comfort and confidence. Now you clicked on this because you wanted an exact recipe. Like I need you to tell me how much eye contact I should have. I obviously can't give that to you, bro, because I would need to talk to you. And this is something I do work on with my clients. Oftentimes when I get on calls with my clients, I can tell their eyes are darting around and I call it out, man. I'm like, listen, your eye contact is horrible.

11:48 You haven't looked at me once what's going on. And naturally they're intimidated by me sometimes because I'm a coach, but I guide them through it to get them comfortable having eye contact. And I even give them that same tip. If you're afraid to have eye contact with somebody, then stare at that space between their two eyebrows where their unibrow must be. And the unibrow is something I'm going to get to in a second because there's a way we're going to use the unibrow joke to completely build attraction in a woman, which I'm going to get to in a second.

12:20 So the right eye contact, if you have to put me in a corner and tell me I must give you a certain number, a certain number of minutes, a certain percentage, I would say it's about 70% of the time, 60 to 70% of the time you're making eye contact with the girl while you're speaking to her. So if you're confident, if you feel good, you're going to have good eye contact and don't be afraid for God's sakes to maintain that eye contact. And this is something I do very deliberately as I spoke about.

12:49 When I'm meeting a stranger and we're walking by each other, I'm holding that shit until she looks away. But I'll also do that in conversations. Certain points of the conversation, especially when she's talking about something that I like or I want to reward, I'm going to lock eyes with her, talk to her until she's the one who looks away. Now with women, it's all over the court as well. Some chicks have tons of eye contact. Others can barely hold it at all. But generally speaking, if she has a lot of eye contact, you should get in on that ASAP.

13:16 Okay. Dip into it, maintain eye contact as much as she is. And on that point, I'll oftentimes use her as a barometer of how much eye contact to have. So if she's having like five minutes out of seven minutes of eye contact, I'm going to have about that much as well, because eye contact generates tons of attraction. If you can meet eyes with the woman and hold it. Some of you guys know I used to live in Japan. Well, while I was out there, I used to be a wedding announcer.

13:46 I used to marry Japanese couples in Japanese because they liked American style weddings. Well, part of that job was for me to go to wedding fairs. And I would dress up as the groom, the dude who was getting married. And we would have mock marriages with brides, like Japanese brides who were pretending to be the bride of me. And I was the groom. So we would stand there and we would literally have to stare in each other's eyes for fucking hours because people would be taking pictures of us.

14:15 People would be coming in to check it out. Like, what's this wedding like? What does it look like? So I'm standing there in a tuxedo, looking like a fucking champ. Hair is all done. You know, I even plucked my nose hairs. I really wanted to be dialed in. I run a tight battleship. I'd be holding her hands and we'd be staring at each other for literally hours. Do you know how many times that got me laid? Probably about 90% of the girls, unless they had a husband or a boyfriend, I had sex with.

14:43 Just think about the power of that, just being forced to stare in each other's eyes. And this, by the way, is why I use the following gambit. Okay. As you're talking to the girl, whether she has good eye contact or not, you want to say to her, you know, as I'm sitting here talking to you, you actually have really good eye contact. Has anyone ever told you that? And she'll be like, yes, no, whatever. My dad told me to have good eye contact, whatever she says.

15:10 And you say, cool. I challenge you to a staring contest. Okay. So you guys are going to have a simple staring contest where brother, you know what I'm going to say? You absolutely, without excuse have to fucking win the staring contest. If you're the first one who looks away, you just pissed attraction out the window. Goodbye attraction, loaded up into a catapult and unceremoniously launched that attraction out of the city because it is gone. So obviously you need to win. Now here's what you do. I want you to have eye contact with her as long as possible.

15:40 If you're afraid, which I hope you wouldn't be, but if you're afraid to maintain that eye contact, then like I said, look at that space between her two eyebrows. People literally cannot tell you're looking there. I've tried this on many different women and I've actually asked them later. Could you tell I was looking at your eyebrows? If you're more than like two feet apart, they can't tell. Even, even like close up, you can't tell. So don't be nervous about it. Look at that space between her eyebrows and let it go as long as you comfortably can.

16:10 Okay. This is going to test your social pressure. It's going to test your frame and it's also going to test her. So 99.99% of the time, boys, you're going to get a girl who looks away pretty quickly. Some girls could last, I don't know, 20, 30 seconds. Had a few girls last a couple minutes. If you get a girl who lasts five to 10 minutes, you got a psycho hose beast on your hands, abort mission, pull the eject button. You're out like sauerkraut. You're off like a prom dress. See you later, masturbator.

16:38 After a while, pedophile. You got a psychopath on your hands. Seriously. One time I had this girl, she lasted like five minutes and I fucking won, bro, because I take my own advice. I'm like, I'm not going to let this chick win, but here's what you do. While you're doing the staring contest and you're getting a little uncomfortable, you want to get out of there. You want to look away so bad, right? We all know that feeling. This is what you say. You say, you know what, Sarah, you look really good with unibrow.

17:06 Why'd you shave it off anyway? Okay. That's going to make her laugh. And when she laughs, she's going to look away every single time. I can't think of a time that that hasn't worked for me. So to repeat, I challenge you to a staring contest. She says, okay, you guys stare at each other. Try to last as long as you can. Because going back to my Japanese wedding fair announcer, it built massive attraction. Staring at her, staring at her, staring at her. When you get uncomfortable, just look at that space between her eyes.

17:33 And when you can feel you're about to lose it, you can say, hey, you look awesome with unibrow. Why'd you shave it off anyway? You could say, you know, as I'm sitting here looking at you, you're actually pretty cute. You have some pretty eyes. You and my grandma should totally go pick up guys together. Or you can say, you know, as I'm sitting here looking at you, you have really pretty eyes. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. The right eye is actually a lot prettier than the left eye.

17:56 So let me rephrase my statement. You have a pretty eye. Okay. Those three jokes, right? About the unibrow, about going to pick up guys with my grandma, and your right eye is way better than your left eye. Let me rephrase my statement. You have a pretty eye. Definitely going to make her laugh. She's going to look away. And then you won the staring contest. So gentlemen, the correct eye contact manifests out of being confident. And you want to mimic the same amount of eye contact that you have with somebody you're completely comfortable with.

18:23 If you still have issues with eye contact, you definitely want to work on your self-esteem. You want to work on your internal belief systems and work on having more eye contact with people. Generally speaking, when a girl has X much eye contact, you want to mimic that. You can use eye contact to your advantage when walking past a stranger, you look at her until she's the first one who looks away. You can use it to open a girl at a bar, nightclub, coffee shop, wherever, where you look at her.

18:50 She looks at you, looks away. You keep looking at her. And then when she looks back, you smile and wave. You can use eye contact as the staring contest gambit that I just taught you. And also taking away eye contact when she's talking about some shit that you don't like, or you're playing what I call the aloof listener, where sometimes you have really good eye contact. And then sometimes you're like looking over her shoulder, looking at those other girls that are checking you out, looking around the room, kind of like she has to fight for your attention.

19:22 And I specifically use that to reward and punish behavior. She's talking about some shit I like, right? Some positive stuff, some really affirming stuff, how she likes me, how she wants to give me a blow job. I'm fucking locked in, dude. I'm staring right in her eyes and I'm right there. She talks about some negative shit, politics, religion, negativity, complaining, making excuses, lying. I'm taking away eye contact. And I might even do back channeling incorrectly, which is something Jesus, I should do a podcast on because some of you guys that I talked to, your back channeling is just horrendous.

19:56 Back channeling is when you say, uh-huh. Oh, really? Oh yeah. Tell me more. Uh-huh. Oh, cool. It's when you're affirming to the person who's speaking that you're listening, but people who do it at the wrong times, when they do it not on a high note, but in the middle of a sentence, for example, show extremely low social intelligence. And I will do that purposely when she's complaining about X, Y, Z. So if she's going on and on about how her work sucks and this person's an asshole or boss doesn't treat her right, I'm going to be like, uh-huh.

20:31 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. At the wrong times, showing her that I'm not listening, showing her that this isn't doing it for me, showing her that it's not conducive to attraction. Whereas when she's talking about something positive, how her life is awesome, how appreciative she is, how she loves her mom, whatever it is that's positive, I'm going to lock in eye contact. I'm going to smile and I'm going to back channel at the right times. So not only can eye contact be used to generate attraction, it can also be taken away at the right times to get her into a chase mentality and or punish behavior that you don't like.

21:05 So gentlemen, that was a quick taste of what I teach in my coaching program about eye contact. This is something really, really important because like I said, a lot of people are super miscalibrated. And if you go out over the next few days and just speak to people, kind of see how their eye contact is, you'll sense who's good with people and who isn't. And one of the most attractive things about a man is a guy who's socially savvy, a guy who she could introduce to her parents and who has a firm handshake, nice eye contact, a good voice, good confidence.

21:40 That's what she wants from you. So if you're walking down the street and you make eye contact with the nine and you're the one who looks away first, it's a horrible sign, horrible. So at the very least, brother, from now on, never be the first one to look away. Even if you guys walk past each other and you have to fucking turn your neck and walk backwards for fucking two miles, I don't care. She has to be the first one that looks away. That is law in your life from here on out.

22:01 Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening to this podcast. As you know, I draw podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.