The Boyfriend Destroyer: Exactly What to Say When a Girl Says "I Have a Boyfriend"

0:00 If you're an American when you go in the bathroom, and you're an American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're actually in the bathroom? European. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And today, boys, you are getting the boyfriend destroyer. You are going to destroy every single boyfriend objection until she's so convinced that you're the one who she should upgrade to that when the concussion hits, it blows the condom out of her boyfriend's ass because you are such a fucking champion.

0:52 And so today, boys, there's a lot of nebulous things to discuss. There's a lot of intricacies to how this boyfriend destroyer concept works. So you need to stay tuned through the whole episode because I'm going to drop a lot of different knowledge onto you. And at the end of this episode, I'm going to tell you exactly how I deal with it when she says, I have a boyfriend. I'm going to tell you exactly what I do, what I say, and why I believe that this is the all-time best thing to do.

1:19 I'm going to give you every option under the sun. You choose what to do in each particular situation. Hopefully, this is going to enable you to deal with the boyfriend objection successfully from this point forward. Before I jump into the content, gentlemen, I want to read a quick review that was actually posted by my boy Langston on iTunes. Langston, you didn't even tell me you were going to do this, bro. You just posted on iTunes. I read it, and I was like, yeah, my boy came through.

1:45 I get so much success in this program that guys are posting anonymously, not even telling me that they did so. But here is what Langston said. He says, After listening to almost all the episodes over the previous few years, I wanted to go all in and sign up for the three-month coaching program. The program was some of the best money I have ever spent. It's not only exponentially improved my dating life, but the NLP and psychology principles have directly impacted my business and other relationships. The structure of the program was flawless, and it is something worth emulating for future programs.

2:19 Mark's energy is contagious, love that part, and he is truly sincere in helping men achieve not only the results they hope for, but improving their lives as a whole. Highly recommended, and I think he should be charging way more than he actually is because it's 100% worth the investment for growth-minded individuals who are willing to do the worth. Langston, thank you so much for posting that. I super appreciate you, brother. And you two gentlemen can get the same success that all my guys get. Langston, as well as David, the dude whose audio clip I posted in my previous episode, all my guys 10x the results with women, so what are you waiting for, brother?

2:56 Sign up today. Let's kick off 2025 the right way, getting you attraction on command. All right, boys, let's jump into the content. So when a girl says that she has a boyfriend, usually there's a good reason for that. There's two possibilities. First of all, she really does have a boyfriend, and I'm going to tell you exactly what I do in that situation. Secondly, she's not that attracted to you. So we have two options here. We can either say, okay, have a nice night and bone out, or we can try to do what I call the boyfriend destroyer.

3:27 Now, the boyfriend destroyer is several different things you can do, many of which I have done with success, as well as my clients have done with success. So when she says I have a boyfriend, you need to immediately assess. The first possibility is, as I said, she just isn't attracted to you enough, kind of wants you to go away. So she says the easy thing, I have a boyfriend. I found in my experience about half the time they're lying. The other half the time, it really is true.

3:53 She has a boyfriend. She's committed to him. She probably likes him more than she likes you at the present moment. So she's telling you to kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you with a good Lord split you. Now, depending on your confidence, depending on the vibe of her, depending on whether or not you think she's attracted to you, that's going to dictate how you act moving forward. So I'm going to go through all the possibilities. The first possibility is she's kind of attracted to you, and she throws that out there because she feels guilty about being attracted to you.

4:25 And this is where I always use the boyfriend destroyer. So let's say you open a girl, you're talking to her, you can tell she's really starting to vibe with you, and then out of nowhere, she says she has a boyfriend. Now, obviously, I can't predict the emotions of every single girl who you're going to interact with in the future. I'm just relating my own experience. I'm relating what all my girlfriends have told me, that, yeah, sometimes they meet a dude who they want to upgrade to.

4:50 Don't get it twisted, gentlemen. Just like you, women are always looking for the better deal. And only until they are fully in love with the guy, they are fully committed to him, and they know this is the dude I want to be with, he feels like my soulmate, she will be willing to upgrade. Just like you will be willing to upgrade. So what I typically do in those situations is blow past the boyfriend objection. I'll either say, okay, we can be discreet, or I'll say, if I'm feeling she's vibing me, and her and I are teasing a lot, we're having a good time, I'll say, oh, really?

5:24 So you're looking to drop the zero and step up to the hero, huh? And many times she'll laugh when she hears that, and then we can push past the boyfriend objection. I'm telling you, gentlemen, I've been talking to a girl who told me she had a boyfriend, and I said, all right, let's keep talking and see if you want to drop the zero and step up to the hero in a completely sarcastic, playful, joyous way, no big deal, I don't care what happens. And she's like, yeah, let's do that.

5:49 And I was like, damn, dude, this chick really does want to drop the zero and step up to the hero, and I've yanked phone numbers that way. So when the boyfriend objection comes up, it could be one possibility, which is she likes you, but she's kind of feeling guilty about it. She almost wants you to convince her to drop her boyfriend to step up to you and wants to see that you have enough confidence to do so. Now, as I said previously, this is nebulous. This is tough.

6:14 This isn't always cut and dry, A, B, C, D, E kind of stuff. It's case by case, it's girl by girl, it really depends. So I'm gonna give you several different options. The next one is in line with what I mentioned previously. If you feel she's vibing with you, if you feel maybe I can get her to give me your number and she would upgrade past her boyfriend, then what I'll oftentimes say is, okay, we'll be discreet. So when she says, hey, I have a boyfriend or my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that, you guys know how it is.

6:45 They always work it into conversations. You'll be like, so what do you do for a living? And she's like, oh, I'm actually a tax attorney and my boyfriend showed up yesterday and brought me flowers. Kind of like try to work it in either A, because they're trying to get rid of you or B, because they feel guilty, but yet they still kind of want to see if they want to upgrade to you. We're working off the assumption that they probably want to upgrade to you in this example.

7:09 So she's like, my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that, or I have a boyfriend. I'll say, okay, we'll be discreet. And I push past it as if it didn't happen. I continue doing the gambits. I continue running game. Remember, boys, we're not even hitting on her until she's attracted to us. And that goes into my third one. If she throws out, I have a boyfriend way too early, which in my opinion is socially unintelligent by her, I'll be like, whoa, who's hitting on you here? We're having a conversation.

7:37 Relax, Casadova. I know you're getting a little fired up, but take a step back. Take it easy. Don't come unpeeled. I'll just kind of tease her for it. I'll be like, yo, you threw out the whole boyfriend thing like way too early. I'm not even hitting on you. It reminds me of when I go country swing dance. And sometimes you'll ask a girl to dance with you, which is totally and completely innocent. You're not hitting on her in any way whatsoever. And you're like, hey, do you want to dance?

8:01 And she's like, I have a boyfriend. You're like, whoa, I'm not hitting on you here. I'm simply asking you to dance. And you could say that to her. Remember my previous episode when I said friend zone girls? This could work into that. Where you're talking to the girl and she's like, by the way, I have a boyfriend. You'd be like, good for you. Like, congratulations. I have a boyfriend too. Maybe it's the same guy, right? And you're joking around being like, yo, why are you throwing that out there so quickly?

8:27 I'm just talking to you. Relax. But if there's attraction there and she says, by the way, I have a boyfriend. You'd be like, okay, we can be discreet. Or how would you feel about dropping the zero and stepping up to the hero as you kind of wink at her and kind of tease her a little bit. So those are three options there. The next one is what has been labeled the boyfriend destroyer in the pickup community. When she says, I have a boyfriend, you say, oh, really?

8:51 What's it like to be in the perfect relationship? So the soundbite again is, oh, really? What's it like to be in a perfect relationship? Is it awesome? Like, how's that going for you? And in theory, there is no perfect relationship. So hopefully she's going to start talking about why it's not perfect and why he isn't like the exactly right guy. Now, do I use this anymore? I don't. Okay. I don't believe in it. It hasn't really worked that well for me, but it was a big time strategy in the PUA community when I was coming up and I used to use it.

9:22 I used to say, oh, really? What's it like to be in the perfect relationship? And she'll be like, well, you know, it's not exactly perfect. I'll be like, oh, really? Things aren't going so good. And that's called the boyfriend destroyer because you can start dismantling him. But as I've evolved in my consciousness, this is what I do. And I'm just going to be straight up with you guys. I'm not going to yank a girl off her boyfriend unless I can tell the dude is a super big douchebag, which I've done.

9:47 I have approached a girl with her boyfriend there, talked to them both, decided that he was kind of a douche canoe, kind of a canyon mule, and then when the opportunity happened, she gave me her phone number. I'm going to talk about that in a second. However, if I approach a girl and I feel like she's really happy with her boyfriend, why would I try to destroy that? Why would I want to create drama both for her and for him? How do I know this guy couldn't be my best friend one day?

10:12 I don't know who the dude is. Why am I going to try to destroy him? So the boyfriend destroyer of, oh, really, what's it like to be in the perfect relationship is, in my opinion, a little bit negative, so I don't use it anymore. But it does work if you want to throw it out there. Now, going back to my example of me approaching a guy and his woman, and I'll do this oftentimes, and you could do this too, where you'll find out oftentimes the dude is just a friend.

10:37 I'm going to tell you what to do there. So let's say you see a cute girl, and you can't really tell if the dude she's with is her boyfriend. It seems like they're kind of flirting. They may be together, but they may be just friends. And oftentimes, gentlemen, they are just friends. They're like work partners or they're schoolmates or whatever it is, or they're brother and sister, for God's sakes. It's always worth going up and approaching them. So you approach them just as you would anybody who you want to meet.

11:04 Hey, what's up, guys? Saw you guys dancing. You guys were killing it out there. What's your names? And you start talking to them and assessing what their relationship is. The way you assess if a guy and a girl are together is simply with one question. How long have you guys been together? It's the easiest question. It doesn't state interest. It makes them define what they are. Now, oftentimes, especially if she's attracted to you, you'll say, so how long have you guys been together? And she'll interrupt, and she'll be like, oh, no, no, no, we're not together.

11:32 We're just friends. Or no, no, no, no, we're not together. This is my brother. In which case, you start talking to them. She's starting to get attracted to you. If and when she does, you can go for the phone number. Now, several situations I've had where I've opened them. I've been talking to them both. It turned out it was her boyfriend. But I kind of felt that maybe she was attracted to me. And at the same time, I felt that he was a douchebag. There was one case in particular that I remember where he was really drunk, and he was just belligerent, and he was being a douche canoe.

12:03 So I'm talking to them both. I'm being cool. I'm not hitting on his girl, but I am giving value. I feel like she's getting attracted to me. Then he goes out and dances on the dance floor with his friends. He's making a buffoon of himself. Then when he goes to the bathroom, I'm like, so you kind of seem like you're upset with your boyfriend right now. What's going on? She's like, God, I hate it when he gets drunk like this. And I could tell at that point that she was kind of insinuating that she wanted me to yank her phone number.

12:30 So I was like, yeah, it's kind of too bad that you have a boyfriend, because the reason I approached you guys is I thought you were cute. And brothers, before I finished the sentence, her fucking phone appeared in her hand. She's like, quick, give me your phone number, and I'll text you. And I was like, all right, cool. So I did. And dude, she texted me immediately. She's like, hey, it's Sarah, da, da, da, da. And I know some of you guys have perhaps been on the receiving end of that, where another dude yanked your girl off of you, which is why you need to invest in yourself to become the most attractive man possible to stop these chicks from leaving you.

13:00 And that's exactly what we do in my three-month coaching program. But if you want to yank a girl off another dude, you could do so in that way. Another funny thing that happens when you approach a girl and a guy who you can't tell if they're together or not is you'll say, so hey, how long have you guys been together? And before you can finish your sentence, she'll interrupt you and be like, we're not together. So hey, how long have you, we're not together. Like, whoa, okay.

13:24 Got the information. And then as I said, you could keep talking to them, yank the phone number if and when she gets attracted to you. All right, boys, this is what I do when a girl says she has a boyfriend. Now I want to lay the foundation by telling you I have already practiced. I already know exactly what to say to girls. I don't need to get reps as you do. And I really want you to hold that to the side. Mark Singh does not need to get more reps, okay?

13:49 So I'm not going to waste my time. What do you think that means? It means when she's like, I have a boyfriend, I'm already walking away. I'm like, hey, have a good night. I don't fuck with it. Why would I try to waste my energy on a girl who, as I said at the front of the show, either really doesn't have a boyfriend or she's not attracted to me enough yet. Yeah, I could push through it and try to get her number. Like if she's really hot and I approach her and she's immediately like, I have a boyfriend, I might honestly stick in there and try to plop past it.

14:18 Saying something, as I told you earlier, that's cool, we'll be discreet and just keep talking to her. But once you get abundance, once you realize there's millions of women out there and you don't need to get one nightest focusing on one chick, you'll just fucking walk away. Like I've had girls be like, I have a boyfriend and I'm already like fucking 10 feet away, right? Just like turn and walk away and lose all interest. I do this oftentimes when I get quote unquote rejected. When a girl tells me she's not interested in me, she'll like be saying it and I'll just like start looking away and walking away.

14:49 And this too, boys, is why when I approach a girl, specifically like in a nightclub or a bar, I'll have the next people who I'm going to approach in my mind so that if it goes bad, I just walk right over to them. And I've done it. She's like, I have a boyfriend and I'm like 10 feet away already talking to somebody else before her sentence even finishes. I do that because it's like, why would I want to waste my time? So when they say I have a boyfriend, it's either of those two options, man.

15:16 There's no other reason she would say it. She either really does have a boyfriend or she's not interested yet, in which case you can use those options I told you. And oftentimes, as I said, I will blow out a dude who's just a douchebag, who I feel is mistreating her, who I feel is not good for her. And I feel like her and I would be better together. I will use the boyfriend destroyer. I will use my charms to get her attracted to me and yank her phone number because don't get it twisted, boys.

15:42 Women are always looking for the upgrade plan, just as you are. You know, if you were dating a seven and an eight started showing attraction to you, who you were more attracted to, you would drop the seven in a fucking heartbeat, bro. A seven is like a moped, fun to ride, but you don't want to be seen with her. So you will step up to an eight, which is basically like a Yamaha R6, 600cc crotch rocket. And then if a fucking R1, a thousandcc crotch rocket comes and starts flirting with you, you'll be like, dude, fuck the 600.

16:12 I'm stepping up to the thousand. We're always looking for the upgrade plan. Women are too, but they'll often throw out the boyfriend thing because they're not attracted to you enough yet or they really do have a boyfriend. And within the really do have a boyfriend construct, they might be attracted to you feeling guilty about it, in which case you continue flirting with them, say, don't worry, we'll be discreet, and then yank their phone number. That one guy whose story I was telling you about who like went out and danced on the dance floor, dude, he was such a buffoon, man.

16:42 If this guy was playing sports and he went for a tackle, it would have looked like somebody threw a dead body out of a car. I mean, this guy was just dancing like a complete jackass. He was belligerent. He was like yelling. And I was like, yo, like you don't seem too pumped with your boyfriend. She's like, oh, he irritates me. And I was like, yeah, it's too bad because I was coming over to meet you because I thought you were cute and it's too bad you have a boyfriend.

17:04 Then fucking magically, dude, the phone just appears in her hand. She's like, quick, quick, give me your number. She texted me. We ended up going out a couple of times. I didn't really dig it. She was just as weird as he was. If she was on the tennis court going for a backhand, it would have looked like you threw her dead body out of a car. No athleticism with those two. So I ended up blowing her out. But boys, they're always looking to upgrade so you could blow past the boyfriend objection.

17:27 But once you get good, you'll just be like, whatever. You'll be walking away before she even finishes her sentence, which is what I do now. That being said, you guys need practice. So I suggest you do stick in there if you want, if you think she's cute and try to persevere past it. Because if you can get her attracted to you, even when she has a boyfriend who she deduces is not good enough for her and she wants to upgrade to you, more power to you, man.

17:52 That's the whole point of what we're doing here. We're trying to practice. And if you want to get accountability while you practice, you need to come join us in my three-month coaching program. Click the link in the description below. Quickly put in your application. I'm going to email with you a little bit. See if we can at least 10x your results with women. If I believe we can do that for you, you are going to get on a call with me and my team to see if this is a good fit.

18:16 Because brother, you deserve abundance. You deserve that dream girl. No longer do I want you masturbating to your dream girl on Pornhub with your frequent masturbator platinum card. I want you to really get that girl into your bed. I could give you that power. What are you waiting for? Let's do this. All right, gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I draw podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. And I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.