My Top 7 Strategies to Destroy Your Fear of Rejection & Fear of Failure

0:00 Mr. Dumbass, I really appreciate this opportunity to interview for Dumbass and Dumbass, LLC. Mr. Dumbass, I'm a go-getter. Dumbass material all the way. So what do you say, Mr. Dumbass? Am I the right guy for the job? The name is Dumas. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you.

0:42 And today, boys, we're going to talk about your fear of rejection. We're going to talk about your fear of failure. We're going to talk about why you're scared to take risks. And what I'm about to tell you is really interesting because, as always, boys, it's all inside here. And if you're listening on audio, I'm pointing at my head. Where all issues begin and where all change takes place. Which is exactly why I use NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, to remap the belief systems, traumas, archetypes, schemas of my clients.

1:11 To get them that 10x results with women that I get for every single client who comes into my coaching program. Why you haven't applied yet is beyond me. 2025 is beyond us. Let me ask you this. If you were to change your dating life in 2025 and literally, brother, 10x your results with women, what would that mean for this upcoming year? What would that mean for your life? What would it mean to be able to approach and attract any woman on command? What would that mean for your future?

1:40 It's a pretty obvious answer if you ask me. And if you want to apply and talk to us about joining my three-month coaching program in 2025, click the link in the description below. You and I are going to email back and forth a little bit. If it seems like I'm a good fit for you and you're a good fit for me, you're going to get on the call with me and my team for a one-hour breakthrough session, an NLP session, to see if we can indeed 10x your results with women.

2:04 What's the harm of exploring that? Apply today. Gentlemen, a lot of you guys are afraid to take the L. And when I say L, I mean loss. You're afraid to take that loss. Why? Oftentimes, as I alluded to earlier, it's belief systems. You got mapped within you while you were in a post-hypnotic trance, usually within the first seven years of life, that failure is bad, that losing is bad. And most importantly, listen closely, that any kind of rejection or failure is a testament about how you are as a man.

2:35 I got an application the other day where the dude said, I am more afraid to get rejected than literally to die. And I was like, whoa, man, that's a lot of fear of rejection. He would rather be in the casket than be given the eulogy at the funeral and get laughed at because he wasn't effective with his speech. That's how afraid people are of rejection. Why is this? Because they're too externally validated. They think that what other people think of them, particularly women, and this particularly happens in a dating situation, that her opinion of them is more important than their own opinion of themselves.

3:10 What do I talk about all the time in this podcast? I talk about being internally validated. It's one of the core pillars of being masculine. A masculine man takes his own opinion of himself first before considering the opinions of others. He has, as an analogy, three filters out in front of his face. Somebody says something, it goes through those three filters, filtering through his own belief systems, through his own internal programming, before he interprets it. When some of you guys go up to approach women and get rejected, you walk away with your tail between your legs, thinking you're not enough, you're horrible, you absolutely suck.

3:47 When you go for a tackle in football, it looks like somebody threw a dead body out of a car. You completely and utterly take her opinion of you as your opinion of yourself. Me, on the other hand, as well as all my clients who have been through the program, look at it like this. Her filter is broken. She was not able to recognize the champion standing before her, so it's her loss. And that's literally, boys, how I think of it when a girl rejects me. Do you guys know that I failed for 10 years before becoming successful in this niche?

4:18 Literally, gentlemen, a decade of failure after failure after failure. But here's the reason I kept persevering. Because I didn't define failure as failure. I defined it as an opportunity to learn. Steve Jobs had a great quote that I love. He said, you're either going to have a profitable year or you're going to build a ton of character. Which basically means you're either going to win or you're going to learn. The old adage that we've all heard a million times, but it's absolutely true. It's your definition of failure.

4:47 It's your definition of taking the L that's going to dictate your future. Because if you're afraid of taking the L, you're never going to take risks. You're never going to put yourself out there. You're never going to approach women to try to get the woman that you really want. And so you won't get that success. You won't get that woman. So I failed in my business for 10 years. Yes, literally a decade. It wasn't until I started this podcast that I exploded. And I always knew internally that I could be successful.

5:13 I believed in myself. I believed in my material. I believed in what I had to teach. And I knew intrinsically that this is what I have to do. And nothing is going to stop me. I am never out of the fight. I will never fucking quit. Failure cannot cope with persistence. Which is what Napoleon Hill said. Failure cannot cope with persistence. Meaning if you're persistent enough and you just keep trying, the old man failure, as he said, will eventually take leave and go away and you will find success.

5:43 I had a website called instantattractionvideos.com. Failed. I had a website called casanovasnotebook.com. Failed. I had a website called approachingwomen.com. Failed. I had a website called alphasymposium.com. Utter failure. Clutch openers. Masculine persistence. On and on and on. I can talk about this. Failure after failure after failure. A quick funny story. I one time recorded a two-hour webinar about how to approach and attract women. And it was really good. I recorded this thing and guess how many people watched it? One person. And guess who it was?

6:18 My mom. I sent it to my mom and I'm like, mom, check out this webinar I did. I built out this whole funnel and she watched it and she's like, wow, that was incredible. I learned a lot about how to attract women. She was literally the only person to watch it. I probably still have that thing on an external hard drive and maybe one day I'll whip it out because it was damn good. But what I sucked at was basically getting traffic, getting marketing, how to convert cold leads into signups for them to watch the webinar and then hopefully join my program.

6:48 Utter and abysmal failure. Now, am I saying that I took all those losses with the grin? No, man. I lost my shooter marble. I came unpeeled on many different occasions. I remember one time, and I'm a little bit embarrassed to admit this, I was doing this rollout and I was so hopeful about it. I knew it was going to succeed. It was like when I had already failed for six years, I was like, all right, dude, I've learned a ton about this. I know what to do.

7:12 Let's roll this out. And I actually rolled it out on my birthday and I got zero sales and I lost like $4,000 or something like that. I literally trashed my entire office. I freaking flipped over the desk. I remember I threw my computer off the second story. There was like a balcony into the lower story. I like broke a bunch of tile on my floor. Like your pain body when it comes out, meaning all that accumulation of pain that you've experienced is nothing but a demon. And the reason I was so pissed off after doing tons of self-work on myself is I wrapped up my identity into either my success or failure.

7:50 I didn't see failure as I see it now, which is a great learning experience. That failure where I lost quote unquote $4,000 taught me so much. Taught me enough where now I have this podcast and I'm extremely fucking successful because of that failure that taught me that lesson. Listen, boys, you have to fail. I'm sorry to give you this news, but it's the reality of it. If you want to get good with women, if you want to make money, if you want to be successful in life, you need to sack the fuck up, harden the fuck up and get used to taking that L.

8:23 And L means loss. L has been defined in your own mind as being some sort of failure. It's not a failure. It's a learning opportunity. And I'm going to tell you something else. Women are very clued in to how you react when you fail. Let me tell you another story. You guys remember the Island Boys, right? How when they came out with that cool song, they started getting berated and made fun of. And have you guys ever seen videos of them reacting to people ripping on them?

8:51 They get pissed every single time. They get angry. Let me ask you this. If somebody rips on you and you get angry, what does that say about your frame, your sense of reality, your own thoughts about yourself? It says that you have a weak frame. You have a weak sense of reality. You don't really think much of yourself. Your ego wants to think well of yourself, but ultimately you don't if you could be so negatively affected. So people rip on these dudes and they get all pissed off.

9:20 There's one video where Homeboy actually pulls out a gun. I think it was against that guy Doherty or something like that. He goes into the Island Boys house and just like starts ripping on them like, I have more money than you do. And this Island Boy kid, and God bless him, man. I have a lot of compassion for these kids because seriously, they're suffering immensely. But the Island Boy kid wants to be egoic. He's like, I make more money than you. Look at my gold chains.

9:45 Literally, boys, this is what they're talking about. Then Homeboy keeps ripping on the Island Boy. He gets so mad, he pulls out a gun. He pulls out a Sig Sauer P2269 millimeter and threatens this guy with it on camera. Where are those two kids now? They're probably working in an oil chain shop completely down on their luck. And yeah, man, they have a high chance of committing suicide because they're going to go into deep depression because they almost had fame. They pissed it away because of their egos.

10:13 They did not want to take the L. They did not want to be made fun of. Their frame was easily affected. And now they're going to be depressed, possibly even suicidal. It would not surprise me at all if one of them commits suicide. And because of that, I think that you, as well as me, should have compassion for these guys. Because when you're so attached to winning all the time and so unwilling to take the L and laugh at yourself, all it does is create suffering.

10:40 All it does is keep you in your permanent sense of failure. And all it does is make you miserable and angry. You have to get comfortable taking the L. And this is why in my recent previous podcast, I told you guys to go out there and deliberately put social pressure on yourself. Go lay down in the middle of a supermarket and have people think you're weird. Go say something in public that's horribly embarrassing. Like, hey, sir, do you have these condoms and extra small? And say it out there so people can hear you and realize that what they think of you does not matter.

11:13 Here's another point, boys. You think people are thinking about you? You're high, dog. They don't give two shits about you. They will think about you for literally one second and then start thinking again about their own problems. Anything that you do, nobody cares. Except for your mom, who when you make a two-hour webinar, will watch it because she loves you. But nobody else does, guys. Nobody gives a shit about you. So get out there. Put yourself out there. Take the L. And realize that it's their issue if they don't recognize your championhood.

11:44 And you always have to fall back on your own sense of yourself. Because again, this is the essence of frame control. A woman cannot become attracted to you if she realizes that you have a weak frame. So let's say that there was a girl with the island boy that day where he lost his shooter marble. He lost his precarious sense of his own composure. And he literally pulled a gun on this dude on camera and chased him out of his house. That woman will unconsciously lose attraction for him because he's not powerful enough to manage his own emotions.

12:17 When you get angry, when you get offended, when you lash out, what that tells everybody is that you're weak. You had a moment of weakness where you lashed out at somebody. You texted somebody in a negative way. You reacted out of your emotions because your frame is so weak that your pain body, those emotions, are just going to dictate how you react. Whereas a guy with a strong frame is always composed. He's got a smile on his face. He's internally validated, which means no matter what you say to me, I laugh at it.

12:49 Guys, I get hate comments all the time on Instagram. You know what I do? I like them. I put a heart on them. And they honestly make me laugh. Because I know that when somebody hates on me, they're essentially saying what they feel about themselves. And I can guarantee you that dude who put a hate comment on either my page or your page, if he were insulted in the same way, he would go cry like a baby because nobody would put out that negativity unless they too were feeling negative within themselves.

13:18 Nobody would rip on another person. Nobody would criticize somebody about what they do in their business or not do unless they too are feeling very depraved and very sad about their own lives. So anytime somebody's mean to me, especially a girl, she's like, get out of here, loser. I know immediately that she's suffering to a very high level. And the highest state of consciousness is to not only be unaffected, but also to laugh and have compassion for her because she too is suffering. Look at all the people who have taken L's in this life and look at their reactions to it.

13:51 You know why I love sports? It's because a lot of those tier one kind of athletes don't get emotionally affected by their failures. You'll look at baseball players, football players, or soccer players who say, for example, miss a goal, miss a touchdown, miss a catch. They shake it off. What's the old saying? A good quarterback has a short memory. He thinks about the next play. How can I move forward? What could I learn from that? And when you're out in the dating scene and you're in the nightclubs and girls are rejecting you, which make no mistake will happen if you want to get better at this, you need to look at it as funny.

14:27 You need to look at it as a game. If you get a pie thrown in your face by your friends, the worst thing you could do is get mad about it. You guys have all seen that on Instagram where somebody kind of gets punked, they get pranked and they get pissed off. But then you look at other examples like on Jackass where they're constantly pranking each other. And a lot of the guys, and I'm thinking of that midget, that midget always laughs. He always has a smile on his face.

14:51 Do you guys remember the hand that they had, that gigantic hand where you walk through the hallway and they engage it and it fucking smacks you right in the face as you're trying to walk through the door? I remember some of the guys got pissed off about that. Other guys laughed about it. Like Johnny Knoxville, he thought it was the funniest shit ever. Who won that competition as far as a frame control battle is concerned? The person who laughs. You're going to get pie in your face sometimes.

15:17 You're going to get mud in your eye. You're going to take the loss. You're going to fall down in front of others. Laugh at yourself. Be jovial. Be joyous. Because that proves that even this kind of bad quote unquote situation can't affect your internal frame. You are willing to take the L. You laugh at yourself. You have fun with it. And if you fail as I did in creating a business, for example, or getting better with women, you see every failure as an opportunity to learn.

15:44 As cliche as that is, that is literally how it works. Again, your failures are rungs on a ladder up to success. And even me being quote unquote successful in this podcast, I know I have a lot more failures to endure. Look at my YouTube channel, man. That thing's an abysmal failure. I'm getting like a thousand views per episode. Whereas for some reason on Spotify and iTunes, it's like a hundred X that I personally think I've been sandboxed. Do I take it personally? Am I like, oh, the people on YouTube don't like me.

16:14 They think I'm not worth it. Therefore, I'm not worth it. No, I know that I got sandboxed. I know it's because I was cussing and I forgot to have Liam bleep it out. And for those of you who have been watching my recent videos, you'll notice we're starting to bleep out my cuss words. I made some mistakes, but I learned. I'm happy to have had those failures because now I'm learning and I'm going to continue to fail. And I'm not afraid to do so. I want to explore different types of way to make money in my business.

16:38 I know I'm going to fail a lot trying to figure this out. One thing I really want to figure out is paid advertising. I have not cracked that code yet. And please God in the sky above, if that's what you do, do not contact me. I get contacted by these dudes a hundred times a day. I've been dabbling in it. I invested in some abysmal failures and I haven't cracked the code yet. Do I take it personally? No, it's learning opportunities. I've learned so much about Facebook advertising, Instagram advertising, how to make ads, how to write copy, how to create funnels.

17:07 I'm learning a ton. And because of that, all the money I quote unquote lost has been worth it. All those girls who have rejected me as well as you have been worth it. And I can tell you this, bro, I guarantee you that I've probably been rejected more than you have. Therefore, I win. I'm the big winner here because I've been rejected more than you have. And I'm not saying that from an ego place. I'm trying to reframe your thought of rejection. Think about you and your friends who are out there talking to girls.

17:35 Who's been rejected more? He's the big winner. Do you want to be the big winner? Then go out there and get rejected more and show you're unaffected by it. Laugh at it. Know that she's the one with a broken filter. You're not the one who isn't enough. You are enough because you say you're enough. And you need to do that every day. Say, dude, I'm a champion. I'm a legend. At least I had the balls to approach that girl. Guys, when I look back at my 10 years of failure about this business, do you think I'm sad about it?

18:02 Hell no, dude. I'm so proud of myself. I'm so proud of myself. And every website I built, every funnel I built, every webinar that only my mom watched, that's another pat on my own back because I didn't give up. Failure cannot cope with persistence. And when you take the L, as all of us will, it's an inevitable part of this reality. Laugh about it. Have fun with it. Show it doesn't affect your frame. Be bigger than the loss and you will get people's respect as well as your own self-respect.

18:33 So, boys, the loss is coming. Just like that intro part where I was interviewing for Dumbass and Dumbass LLC, which, by the way, came from a A&W commercial, I believe, in the 90s. Some of you probably recognized it. That's such a good example of a dude taking the loss and just smiling it off. I love that commercial. And I want you guys to take that lesson away from this, okay? You're going to lose. It's not a big deal. It's a learning opportunity. Don't take it personally.

18:59 Let it go. Have a short memory, just like a tier one NFL quarterback, and think about the next play. Think about the next success. Remember, failure is only wrongs on the ladder going up to your next success. If you can think about it that way, your next success is inevitable. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I'm going to drop an awesome one on Monday about how you can kiss a ton of girls this New Year's Eve. Make sure to stay tuned for that one, and I will see you in the next episode.

19:29 See you in the next episode. Wow. Mark Singh really is a dumbass.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.