My Story: From Beta Cuck to NLP Dating Coach for Men

0:00 My Instagram guy, Rajul, he basically runs my Instagram page. He's like, look, a lot of guys on Instagram want to hear your story. They want to know about you. There's a lot of failures that I'm going to talk about. And part of the reason I feel I am a successful dating coach is because I've had tons of failures. In fact, not only have I been a complete and utter beta cuck with women, but I also failed for 10 years in this business. Even after failure, after failure, after failure, everything can change for you as it did for me if you don't fucking quit.

0:32 The Unapologetic Man Podcast. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Now, today, I'm going to tell you my story. My Instagram guy, Rajul, he basically runs my Instagram page. He's like, look, a lot of guys on Instagram want to hear your story. They want to know about you. And I have been emailed throughout the years, people asking me about my story, but it kind of feels a little bit cocky to like be telling you about my story.

1:00 I've said stories here and there, but like the whole thing, I don't know, man, I've just avoided it because it feels like I'm just being really full of myself. Now, there's a lot of failures that I'm going to talk about. And part of the reason I feel I am a successful dating coach is because I've had tons of failures. In fact, not only have I been a complete and utter beta cuck with women, a complete and utter failure trying to use my tears as lubricant for sex, which is a story I'm going to tell you today.

1:27 But I also failed for 10 years in this business. Failure after failure, which I'm going to tell too. And that's kind of why I think I'm a good coach. So please don't think that this episode is going to be me just blowing smoke up my own ass and fluffing my own feathers, going down Flex Avenue, telling you how fucking great I am, because believe me, I am very fallible. I have made error after error. And a lot of these stories are going to demonstrate that. But if you're kind of curious about how I became a dating coach and why I genuinely feel I am the best dating coach on the market, partially because I've had all these failures and risen above them.

2:03 And also because of my techniques and because of neuro-linguistic programming, which I'm going to tell you how I discovered. But if you are mildly curious about that, then this episode is going to explain that. So I'm going to try to get through this quickly, especially my beginning stages, because who the fuck would be interested in that? But if you're mildly curious, I'm going to get through it. I'm going to try to keep it entertaining because it's like, who wants to listen to somebody's story? So let's go ahead and get started.

2:29 So when I was in high school, I was pre-pubic. In fact, I didn't go through puberty until I think I was about 20 years old, which is totally embarrassing. I'm going to have my podcast editor, Liam, put up a picture of me. This is when I was 16 years old, standing there with my brand new custom-made surfboard. I used to get pulled over like literally a couple of times a month because I looked like I was 12 years old when I was 16. So it goes without saying that I absolutely didn't pull girls when I was in high school.

3:00 I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. I went to the college UC Santa Cruz, which is kind of in the middle of California or a little bit like Northern California, somewhat close to San Francisco. And I remember the first girl I hooked up with is when I was 20 years old. And I'm making out with this girl. I'd never kissed a girl before. And I'm in her dorm room making out with this girl. And I get her tits out. And for some reason, her and I start talking about how my dad died when I was 10 years old.

3:31 And I shit you not, boys, this is so embarrassing, but it's a testament to just how much I've changed. I started crying on her fucking tits because I'm talking about my dad and how he died when I was 10. And I start crying on her tits, maybe believing that my tears would be used as lubricant for sex, which obviously didn't happen. So I'm like crying to this girl. And she's like, it's okay. Like patting me on the back as I'm crying on her fucking naked tits. Needless to say, she blew me out the next day.

4:03 So a year later, I think when I was 21, I met this girl named Crystal. And I'm going to show you a picture of her. I'm having Liam cover up her eyes for her identity. But you can see in this picture just what a beta cuck I am. Like, look how insecure I was. Look what a fucking low value loser I was. And this girl cheated on me. The reason she cheated on me, and this is a huge reason I coach the way I do. This is a huge reason I named my show The Unapologetic Man Podcast is because what I did with this girl is what I think a lot of guys do and we think will work but doesn't work, which is to turn her into a queen, to blow smoke up her ass, to do her favors, to kiss her ass, to chase her, and to be extremely needy.

4:51 Now, I was needy because I felt growing up that perhaps my mom didn't give me the love that I really wanted. So I was trying to get that from Crystal. But all I did was chase her away. And after I think it was like six or nine months of being together, I can't even believe she lasted that long with what a beta cuck I was. I mean, I would do this chick favors. I chased her. I worshipped this girl. And I did. I was so in love with this chick.

5:17 So nine months in, I go to her dorm at a time that she didn't expect me to show up. And I literally heard her having sex with another guy in her dorm room. Now, I've been asked from time to time, well, how do you know it was her? Because she lived in a single dorm and I could recognize her voice through the door. So I'm listening to this and I just went completely pale. I don't know if you guys have ever experienced this. I know some of you have.

5:42 I fell to my knees, man. Like, I literally dropped to my knees and I didn't know what to do. Like, what do you like scream and knock on the door? I didn't do that. But I heard her having sex and I could hear his voice in there. I wanted to fucking kill this guy. And I actually later figured out who he was. And I did have a lot of fantasies about fucking that guy up. I never did it, but I did have fantasies. And I know a lot of you guys can relate.

6:07 So I literally, guys, I fell to my knees. My car was parked out back. I like stumbled to my car. Drove home on the freeway. I must have been going like 15 miles per hour on a 55 mile per hour freeway because everybody was honking at me and speeding by me as I'm crying and just absolutely decimated. I laugh about it now because I've totally dealt with it. And I kind of actually do think it's funny. And I have forgiven Crystal because any girl would have done that.

6:34 I would have done it if I were in her shoes. I would have done it a lot earlier than she did it. It was mostly my fault. Now, cheating, it's fucked up. Maybe she should have broken up with me first. Whatever, right? But I get home and I literally spend probably three weeks on the corner of my bed in the cannonball position crying like a schoolgirl yelling over and over again. Crystal, how can you do this to me? I swear, boys, my roommates were checking on me and they're like, bro, like, are you okay, man?

7:05 You haven't eaten. You've just been crying here for like weeks on end. Like, are you okay? And it took me a lot to get through that. So long story short, I finally started researching like, what did I do wrong, man? Like, how did I chase this girl away? I treated her like gold. I gave her everything she wanted. I spent money on her. I did her favors. I blew smoke up her ass in every single way possible. And that's the reason she blew me out. When you telegraph that you're needy, when you put the pussy on the pedestal, quote unquote, and a lot of you guys know this, you get blown the fuck out.

7:40 You get your heart ripped out of your chest, thrown on the ground and sprayed with biohazard diarrhea, which is exactly what happened to me. So at this time, there wasn't a lot of information, but I did kind of start researching it and figuring out, oh, this is what I did wrong. Apparently, you're not supposed to blow smoke up chicks' asses. Apparently, you're not supposed to kiss their ass and put them on a pedestal. Oh, I didn't know. And a lot of guys don't know that, which is why I'm here, to teach you to be motherfucking unapologetic.

8:10 Be who you are. Put your life first. Do not chase these girls. Do not make them a priority. You are their priority. And part of the reason I'm so obsessed with this is because not only did I get blown out with her, but I did the same thing again a year later. Fell in love with this girl named Tara. And we were at a bar. And she's like, hey, just to let you know, I'm sleeping with other guys. And my face just absolutely dropped, dude. It was like I just got sprayed with shit mist.

8:37 I was just like, what? You're sleeping with other guys? And this is the girl who, when I had sex with her for the first time, my penis entered her vagina and I came. Literally, one dip skip, boys. Premature ejaculation. Why? Because of my beliefs about myself. I didn't believe I was enough. I believed that she was above me. I believed that I was a beta cuck. And what happens when you believe you're a beta cuck? You are a beta cuck. And this is part of the reason I use NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, to remap the belief systems in my clients' brains.

9:12 In fact, I just got an email from a client who I used NLP on to remove belief systems. And this is what he says. John, this is from you. He says, yo, Mark, working through the TV. I'm not going to tell you guys what it is because it's a protocol on NLP that only my tier one clients get. Working through the TV in this protocol and just wanted to say how crazy it is. I literally cannot believe what I used to believe anymore. I cannot feel it.

9:40 This is insane. I'm going to keep hammering through the remaining beliefs. But it's wild how effective this has all been. So I'm going to get to NLP in a few minutes when I talk about my panic attacks and anxiety that I experienced when I was doing weddings in Japan. Another interesting development in my somewhat strange life, now that I'm kind of thinking about it. It's a very random life. But that's a testament to just how powerful this is. I didn't feel like I was enough. So I would have premature ejaculation.

10:07 I sometimes wouldn't be able to get it up. It's all belief systems. So a few years went by, and then I finally went to Japan to teach English. Some people have asked me what that was about, and I was part of this thing called the JET program. It's the Japanese exchange teaching program where they basically put American, Australian, Canadian, and English, English-speaking teachers into public Japanese schools. I taught middle school, which in Japanese is called chugaku, and that's 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. So I basically went in there and taught English to the 6th, 7th, and 8th graders, some of the best years of my life.

10:44 I did that for two years, and then from the countryside where I worked, I moved to Osaka, the second biggest city in Japan, to become a wedding announcer. Now, this is its own podcast episode, but very briefly, the reason why they hire white boys like me who can speak Japanese, and I could speak Japanese by that time. I literally like studied for 16 hours a day for four years. They hire gaijin like me, and gaijin means like outside person, basically a foreigner, to do wedding ceremonies because they like Western-style weddings.

11:17 They like the veil. They like the tuxedo. It goes a lot faster. It's a lot more romantic than the traditional Japanese weddings. So they hire foreigners like me who could speak Japanese to marry them. Well, on my third wedding, I had a panic attack. I don't know why it happened. I think I've done an episode about this. I'm not going to go too deep into it. But basically, it was like stage fright, me being on stage and being absolutely terrified. And it was one of the most pivotal moments of my life because I remember being up there on stage.

11:48 I had the panic attack, man. I must have gone completely pale. The room was closing in, and there was a door to my left that I very distinctly remember. I was halfway through their wedding, all in Japanese, and I said to myself, I will fucking die before I ruin these people's wedding. So somehow, some way, I kept doing the wedding. And then from that point on, wedding number three to wedding number 200, I had some sort of anxiety, panic attack, or anxious-related symptom happen before every single wedding.

12:22 I'm going to try to have my brother send me a picture of what I looked like around that time. But I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I looked like an absolute skeleton. I flew back to the United States halfway through that. And my mom was like, dude, are you eating over there? Like, what's wrong with you? And I hadn't yet discovered NLP, which fucking saved my life, which is why I use it today. But basically, I was stuck doing those weddings because I was applying for my visa through the wedding company, and I couldn't quit the company.

12:52 I couldn't get out of it. Eventually, again, a very long story, I got my visa rejected because the Japanese government doesn't like the fact that Americans like myself are doing weddings in their country. It's very frowned upon. So my visa was denied, and I was deported. And one of the few words I still remember from Japanese, I've forgotten like 98% of it because I just don't use it. One of the few words I've remembered is called kyosei sokan, which means deported. I had a month to get out of Japan.

13:23 I had a girlfriend. I had a car. I had an apartment. I had a motorcycle. I had a whole life there. But it was a bit of a blessing in disguise because around that time, I did discover NLP right around the end of my 200 weddings. I discovered NLP after trying to consult psychiatrists. After taking medication, I went to a Japanese doctor, and he gave me all these drugs, which just made me feel like I was in zombie mode, I tried fucking everything. And I discovered an NLP coach in the United States.

13:52 He's still my mentor to this day. His name is Dale. I got on a call with Dale, and he walked me through the same protocols that I used in my three-month coaching program to completely and utterly get over my anxiety, agoraphobia, and panic attacks. And by the way, agoraphobia is when you can't fucking go outside. I would stay in my apartment every single day just studying Japanese because I was trying to get certified as a translator. And the only time I would go out was when I was going to do some weddings.

14:23 The worst and hardest day of my life is when I had to do seven weddings in one day. I do not know how I got through that. I didn't sleep for like three days leading up to it. I did not eat. I don't know what force of nature had my back that day, but I sure believe it was something on the other side because I don't know how I got through it. And I would have to do like three weddings a day, four weddings a day.

14:45 But I remember so clearly those seven weddings. I don't know how I did it, man. So I discovered NLP through the processes that, again, I include in my three-month coaching program. I was able to get over my anxiety, panic attacks, and agoraphobia. At this time when I got deported from Japan, my buddy who lived in Hawaii is like, yo, you could come live with me. He was my best friend in college. His name is Dave. I always call him Dape. And we lived together on the fucking beach in Hawaii.

15:14 And I was a Japanese translator on a sunset dinner cruise boat that went out in front of Waikiki. At this time, I started training heavily in seduction under the guidance of Tyler Durden, or also known as Owen Cook. He's the guy who founded Real Social Dynamics, if you've ever heard of that. Him and I became friends, and we started gaming in Hawaii. I never became really part of his system or part of his coaches. We were just kind of seeing each other here and there. And then eventually, my best friend from childhood got addicted to drugs.

15:45 God, this fucking story, man. Got addicted to drugs, went to jail. While he was in jail, I was in Hawaii writing him letters. He gets out of jail and begs me to move back to California to come live with him and help him out. Long story short, I moved back to California. At that time, I got an inheritance from my grandmother, gave him $13,000 as a gift to buy a new car, to get his life settled again. Turns out the whole time he was lying to me, he was addicted to GHB and was addicted and using G when I got us our apartment.

16:19 I was paying for everything. I gave him money. I was trying to help the dude out. Basically, long story short, and it seems like I got a lot of those long stories, really stabbed me in the back because of drugs. Today, and this is true and it absolutely breaks my heart, he's homeless and addicted to meth. He still posts on Instagram and I have to admit, I look at it sometimes, breaks my fucking heart. My boy, my brother that I grew up with, he's homeless and addicted to meth.

16:46 So it's pretty tough, but it is what it is, man. If he ever gets through it, I'm here waiting for him. He stabs me in the back. I'm like, yo, fuck this. I'm out of here. I moved to Arizona. I had some money left for my inheritance. So all I did for literally boys, two years was game girls. Partially because I was super interested in it. Partially because I got absolutely decimated by not only Crystal, but also Tara and a couple other girls after that wanted to figure this shit out.

17:16 This is where I became really good. And this is where I created the video series that I include in my three-month coaching program called the Instant Attraction Video Series. It's 13 hours of content of me and my boy just reporting from the field all the success we were having. I was literally talking to 10 girls at a time, dating at least four girls at a time. It was a fucking shit show, boys. It was absolutely insane. And because I did that, I blew out my reputation in Arizona and finally moved to Colorado.

17:48 When I moved to Colorado, my dream was to be a seduction coach. I knew I had the skill set. I knew I had NLP under my belt. And I created all these programs that failed after failed after failed after failed. Utter failures for 10 fucking years. Now that begs the question, why couldn't you figure it out? I don't know, man. I tried fucking buying advertising. I tried advertising on YouTube. I tried posting videos. Nothing worked. And a lot of guys who come into my program have had lots of failures with women.

18:21 I can relate, dude. Not only did I get cheated on by my first love and was an absolute beta cuck, but I've also spent a decade failing, failure after failure after failure in my business. So when a guy comes to me and he has the trauma of failures or abuse or whatever it is, not only can I heal him with NLP, but I can relate to him. And I feel that's why I have so much success as a dating coach today. I definitely didn't have that success.

18:48 But the reason I feel I have success today is because I genuinely care and I've been through it. I've been there myself. And that's why I think I'm effective. And I also think for those of you who are with me on the spiritual stuff, I also think that 10 years of failure had to happen so that I could be as good as I am now. But I had so many products. I had instantattractionvideos.com, clutchopeners.com, approachingwomen.com, alphasymposium.com, Casanova's notebook, all these projects that just fucking tanked, tanked, tanked.

19:21 It was like midway in 1942 and just fucking all these planes just going into the sea. Nothing would work. So during that time, I became a copywriter. And some of you might notice my logo. That was actually created to look like the tip of a fountain pen. I consider myself a communicator first. And that's part of the reason I feel I'm a good podcast host and I'm a good coach is because communication, especially with women, is paramount to getting success. And I teach my boys how to communicate with women effectively in a way that gets them attracted.

19:55 But I remember I had a contest to create my logo when I was a copywriter. I put up 800 bucks and probably about 100 different logos came in from different designers. The second I saw that, in fact, I want to say the millisecond I saw this logo, I was like, that's it. That's my logo. And if you look in the middle of it, you can kind of see an M that stands for mark. But this thing, and by the way, I have it trademarked. This thing, I absolutely love it.

20:20 I have it all on my clothes, all my hats. I put it on my daughter's clothes and Marissa's clothes, and I'm always putting it all over the place. I love this logo. So in about 2018, I started working for Marnie of the Wing Girl Method, and I was her copywriter. A lot of the copy, which means the writing that you see on her website, specifically the sales writing, the stuff that attempts to sell you stuff, I wrote that. So at that time, I was trying to be a dating coach.

20:48 I was already an NLP expert because I was obsessed with NLP, and she's like, hey, why don't you come on my podcast? So at that time, I was like, yeah, I'll go on her podcast, and I'll make like a little offer where I'll do a one-hour NLP session with anybody interested for like 95 bucks. So I go on her podcast, and dude, it fucking exploded. I remember my first client, and in fact, I'm still friends with him today. I went to his wedding. His name is Matt.

21:14 My first client sent in a payment for 95 bucks for NLP coaching, and I ran to Marissa, and I was like, Marissa, look at this, dude. Somebody bought an hour of NLP. I'm going to be successful, right? Like you think you sell one thing, and then you're successful. But dude, it turned out to be true. Another payment came in, another payment, and I was doing all these one-hour sessions. Well, I'd already been trying to be a seduction coach for years. I had webinars. I had videos. I had everything.

21:40 I knew what I had was good, and especially with NLP. I knew that shit was magic. So what I did is I would have one-off sessions, and I would be like, hey, do you want to like coach with me for a couple months? They would be like, yeah. So that exploded, dude. That one podcast episode I went on got me literally like 500 or 600 clients. Then at that time, I was writing copy for John Anthony of Masculine Development, and I asked him to start a podcast with me.

22:08 We named it The Unapologetic Man Podcast, and some of you may have heard, unfortunately, my boy John committed suicide a couple years ago, something I still just can't believe, and it tears me up. But we started The Unapologetic Man Podcast, and a couple years into it, or I should say a couple episodes into it, sorry, I'm a little fucked up. But like 30 episodes into it, he said, hey, I don't really want to do this anymore. So I started doing it myself, and the shit just took off.

22:37 And again, I think I have great information. I've been doing this for decades. I've failed so much. I have NLP. All that failure prepared me for what it took to become successful today, and I'm not going to lie to you boys. I'm very fucking successful. And oftentimes, people ask me, dude, I'm failing and failing. Why is this happening to me? And often what I'll say, which is the truth for me, is your accumulation of failures are buying you success for the future. You're literally investing. It's just like an investment into crypto or the stock market.

23:11 It is going to pay off a hundredfold in the future if you just don't fucking quit. And I didn't quit, man. I just kept coming back to it. As stupid and bullheaded as I might be, I just refused to quit. So I started the UMP, the Unapologetic Man podcast. I created a three-month coaching program. And guys, the results that my boys get are absolutely fucking phenomenal. I cannot even believe what I'm seeing from what I've created. And again, it's because of all these experiences, the getting cheated on, the panic attacks, agoraphobia, anxiety, my best friend stabbing me in the back, me moving to Tempe, Arizona, just gaming girls for years on end, and then moving to Colorado, which by the way, I was a bouncer for five years in a cowboy bar.

23:57 And oh my hell did I learn about female psychology. So through all that, including the NLP, which I got over my fear of needles with, I got over my anxiety with, I apply that to my boys. Holy shit. We have a 95% success rate, which means 95% of my clients absolutely change their dating life when it comes to women. They 10X the results, which is my guarantee. And sometimes I wonder for you guys listening, like, why haven't you joined us yet? I'm not going to be doing this forever.

24:30 One thing about me is I get super passionate about things and then I just completely get over it. I did that with Airsoft in my 20s. I was like so into it. I was part of a team. We would go to fucking big events and have like huge battles and we would do CQB. Just got over it one day. I did it with RC drifting where I would drift RC cars. Got over it. Did it with surfing. Did it with snowboarding. Just over it. And I don't know when that's coming, boys, but I can tell you it is a ticking time bomb that when I'm over it, I'm going to be done.

25:00 And this is a game changing program that I guarantee you will change your life. And if it doesn't, you could keep working with us until it does. In fact, I just got another email, two emails on the same day, by the way, that says, and this is from Thomas, to give you an idea of how much my reality has changed. Last night, I slept with a girl who friendzoned me two years ago. Actually, I'd spoken to Victor about her in my interview when joining your program.

25:26 It's true what you said, man. The girl who blows you out today will suck your dick tomorrow. She treats me like a king, and I don't think she's ever been so attracted to me. Thank you for everything that you did for me in this program. Guys, we are open to you. I'd love to meet you. If you're coming from Instagram, put in your application. Let's talk. If you're coming from any of the podcast apps, YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, whatever it is, put in your application, and you and I are going to talk.

25:54 So that was a very general explanation of my story. I'm 48 years old now, and it's 30 minutes to tell a story. I'd obviously need a lot more time. But really, again, the reason I think I'm so effective, the reason I think I get so many clients, and the reason I think I'm so successful is because I'm genuine. I care about my boys. I love my guys, man, and I get very close to them, and I really care about your success. There's so many people selling snake oil on the internet.

26:22 There's so many bullshit scams and people just trying to get your money. One thing that I've really held true with is that money will never seduce me out of caring for my guys. I went through the hell so that I could teach you how to get up to the summit without going through the hell that I had to go through. I'm going to point you up the mountain in the quickest, easiest way possible because I don't want you to have to go through what I went through.

26:46 And furthermore, you've already been through pain. You've already been through hell. You've had enough, man. It's time to make the fucking change, and NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, has the magic to do it. This shit completely changed my life, got me over anxiety, got me over my fear of needles, got me radically confident in front of women so I no longer blow smoke up their ass and fluff their feathers. But in fact, I'm the man that they want and the man who they chase, and that can happen for you too.

27:16 So boys, put in your application today. Click the link in the description below. I will talk to you personally and see if I could do for you what I do for almost all my clients, which is 10x in your results with women. I'd love to talk to you. Thank you so much for listening. I sincerely appreciate it. Hope it was somewhat entertaining. But if anything, take the lesson that even after failure, after failure, after failure, everything can change for you as it did for me. If you don't fucking quit, I'm going to leave you with this quote, failure cannot cope with persistence, which means as long as you don't quit, old man failure will eventually take his leave as he did for me.

27:55 I'd love to meet you, man. Let's work together. Put in your application right now and you and I will talk. All right, gentlemen, thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review. You have no idea how much that helps me. Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk.

28:31 Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.