Mark's "After Action Report" to Skyrocket Your Progress With Seducing Women

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I hope the week has treated you well. And today, gentlemen, we are going to talk about my after-action report concept. That which gets measured gets improved. Unless, of course, we're talking about your penis. That will never be improved, so stop trying. You're good enough as it is, bro.

0:36 It's not the size of the dinghy. It's the motion of the ocean. But, gentlemen, today we are going to talk about that after-action report because a lot of you guys are kind of just going about this randomly, not really measuring or marking your progress, marking what you need to work on, practicing things in a very diligent, intentional way. And because of that, you're actually slowing down your progress. Obviously, we want to build this skill set as quickly as possible because that's all it is, is a skill set.

1:06 And the second you stop relating your own personal validation to how girls react to you, and instead just seeing it for what it really is, which is just a skill set that you need to develop, just like getting better at tennis, baseball, soccer, whatever sport you play, once you see it in that framework and structure it in a way where you're doing these after-action reports, it's going to make you feel a lot better about the whole process. You're not going to take it so damn seriously, and you're going to get much better progress.

1:33 I mean, you guys, you could speed up your progress by two or three years if you just do this thing. So shut the hell up, listen to what I'm about to teach you because this is super important. Quick side note, my friend Alicia was listening to my last podcast, and she's like, you literally call your listeners morons and idiots, yet everybody still seems to love you. And I'm like, yeah, because they have strong frames. They don't get affected when I insult them because they know I'm kidding.

2:00 Relax, everybody. If you get butthurt that easily, then obviously you have some self-work to do. I'm just kidding. I'm just messing around. So don't get butthurt about it. All right, gentlemen, before we jump into the content, I have to read yet another review. I know you must be thinking, damn, this guy's got a lot of reviews. I do, man. I'm looking at my desktop, and it's literally chock full of just screenshot after screenshot of emails that I get from guys that just graduated my three-month coaching program.

2:25 This one's from Joe. I'm going to read it real quick, and then we're going to jump into the content. Joe says, When I first started the program, I had no women in my life. The number one goal I wrote down for myself at the beginning was I wanted to be dating multiple women and choosing from abundance. I felt like dating three women at the same time would be awesome. I'm glad to announce that I am currently seeing five women and sleeping with three of them. Photos attached.

2:51 He attached photos. One chick was particularly nude, and I was like, I like this guy, dude. Send me more of that. He continues. Except for coaching call nights, most nights, I'm hanging out with these women. It's to a point where it's actually been hard to go out and get my openings in because of the time it takes to manage five chicks. I know what that's like. Listen to this one, guys. Thanks to you and the program, in the last 10 weeks, I've talked to, hung out with, and had more positive experiences with women than I've had in the last 10 years.

3:21 In the last three weeks alone, I've had more sex than I've had in the last three years. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. He continues. One day, I even had one girl over in the morning, rode straight from her place to another girl's house in the afternoon. Then later that same day, I was glad when the third girl flaked because I was tired. Tired, Joe? Man, you need to build up your stamina, bro. Let's get that endurance going. You need to be banging out six chicks in a day, brother.

3:49 All jokes aside, these are the kind of results that my guys get time after time after time. Why? Because we actually address what's going on inside your head with NLP, Neural Linguistic Programming. Game changer. But you've heard all that in other podcast episodes. I'm not going to go on about it today. If you're interested, click the link in the description below. You can read all about it. And yeah, there's over 250 reviews on my website. I have video testimonials. It's all there, man. Proof is in the pudding.

4:14 This shit works. If you're interested, sign up today. Let's talk. All right, guys. So this is going to be a short one because after action report is very, very simple. It's simply a report that you make after you go out at night or after you go on a date, after you talk to girls, after you're day gaming, cold approaching, whatever you're doing, you should write down your successes and areas that you need to work on. That which gets measured gets improved. Meaning when you focus on those things that you have issues with, when you focus on those successes you've had and also looking at the failures where you need to work on certain things.

4:51 Also looking at what you need to rep out, which I'm going to talk about in a second, you are going to improve infinitely faster if you just listen to this podcast, try to remember a couple things I said, throw it at some girl in your next conversation, and then build up slower than pond water because you're not taking intentional action, marking, tracking, keeping a log of all your interactions. If, for example, you're trying to get better at telling a certain story, the best thing you can do is take that story and try to work it into literally every single conversation you have over the next week.

5:28 And in a week, you should be having 20 to 30 conversations. In fact, I have my guys open 20 girls per week. It's a prerequisite in my program. We do hold them accountable to it. Whether they open and eject, which means open, ask a quick question, then eject, or whether they open, stack, stack, stack, try to get into a conversation. And yes, even yank phone numbers. Depends where they're at in the program, their comfort level, et cetera. But every week, that's 20 girls. 20 girls over 12 weeks is 240 girls. How much better would you be if you opened 240 girls?

6:03 Now, in addition to this, we have them do after action reports. At the end of the week, we have them fill out homework that quizzes them on that week's training exercises, as well as what went well for you, what didn't go well for you, what do you need to work on? Once we discover what they need to work on, we have them rep it out. So if you're practicing a story, you want to do it to every single girl, no matter what, just try to work it into the conversation.

6:28 Even if it seems completely socially unintelligent to work this particular story into the conversation, who cares, boys? It's just practice. It's just reps. So you're getting in that story time after time after time until it feels good to you, and now it's what? An arrow in your quiver that you can pull out in your next conversation, and then you practice the next arrow, master that, practice the next arrow, master that, the next arrow, master that on and on. Then after you're done going to talk to women, you ask yourself legitimately, what did I do well?

7:03 And I want you guys to focus on what you did well because I want you to be in a positive energy matrix. I don't want to demotivate you. I want to motivate you. What motivates us more than anything? Success. Some of you guys are motivated by failure, but many times, especially for guys who have problems with women, failure is not usually perceived as a good thing. So we focus on the successes, and then yeah, we look at some of the things we must up on. For example, she gave you a frame check.

7:30 She said, why are you wearing that hat? And you said, oh, this is a cool hat. And you kind of explained yourself to her rather than saying, the real question is, are you trying to get me undressed right now? Are you trying to take off my hat? Why are you trying to take off my hat right now? I know you're trying to get me undressed, but relax. We just met. I need trust, comfort, and connection first. So slow down there, Casanova, trying to get me undressed, which of course is a reframe.

7:52 Well, oftentimes, when it comes to speaking to women, they will frame check you, they will ask you certain requests, they will try to get you to jump through hoops, and invariably, because you're new, you'll do the request, or you'll explain yourself to her in a way that tries to get her endearment, get her rapport, which is the wrong thing to do. So you come home that night, and on your after-action report, you say, what do I need work on? Probably need work on some frame control reversals.

8:19 Okay, I'm really going to focus on frame control over the next several weeks. I'm going to work on it with every single girl. I'm going to actually kind of be a dick to my friends, so they start throwing frame challenges at me, and I'm going to get really good at this, so that never happens again. Had you not written the after-action report, maybe you wouldn't remember that that's what happened to you, because the after-action report makes you go through all your different interactions, and you basically backwards engineer what went right and what went wrong.

8:50 God, that's a hard thing to say. What went wrong? Say that five times. And this is what they do in the military. This is what they do in the space program. This is what all successful athletes do. They watch footage of themselves playing a game, and they say, okay, my fundamentals on that particular move were a little bit off. I can see why I didn't score that goal. I was a little bit non-attentive while playing defense, so I need to work on that. And they see what they did wrong.

9:15 You guys have to do the same thing, because as I keep saying, dating girls is a skill set. Here's something that you may not like to hear, but I'm going to tell you guys anyway. The best way to get good with women is to talk to and go on dates with girls who you're not attracted to. Now, I'm probably the only dating coach in this entire space that would ever suggest that to you. But why am I suggesting it to you? Several reasons. First of all, when you're talking to a girl you're not attracted to, you are behaving correctly because you're not intimidated.

9:47 You don't care what she thinks. You don't give a shit what happens, which is the perfect way to behave. So while you're talking to a girl or even going on a date with a girl who you're not attracted to, you're simply yourself. You're just throwing shit out there, seeing how it works, and you're acting correctly. Secondly, second reason is you're going to be able to talk to a lot more girls if you stop being so picky like, oh, I'm only going to date her if I'm attracted to her.

10:10 Brothers, you're building a skill set. You're not trying to meet your wife right now. You are in the batting cages and you're like, oh, that ball that's flying towards me is yellow. I'm not going to hit it. I only hit white balls, right? That's the same kind of logic. And the third reason is reps, reps, reps, reps, reps, reps, reps. Try saying that 50 times fast. That's what we want you guys to do. While you're listening to this podcast, or better yet, while you're in my coaching program, it's all about reps.

10:37 It's all about building a skill set so that when you walk around the corner, which make no mistake, this is going to happen to each of you, and you see the hottest girl of the month, you'll have the skill set to be able to go get her. Why do you have the skill set? You did reps. You were even willing to talk to and date girls you weren't attracted to simply for practice. You mastered a bunch of different techniques by identifying the holes in your game and patching up those holes by repping it out with a bunch of different girls in a bunch of different conversations.

11:06 And you understand that from quantity comes quality. What that means is the more quantity of women you talk to, yes, boys, even ham-planted fatties, sea donkeys, and mountain trolls, and yeah, a couple of canyon mules as well, the better your skill set is going to be and the higher quality girls you're going to get. Joe, the guy whose review I just read, he started out with zero. Then what did we do? I told him the same thing I just told you. Go date anybody. And he's like, well, I don't want to kiss that girl.

11:36 I'm like, bro, I didn't say you had to kiss her. You don't even need to touch her hand beyond shaking it. You're taking her on a date. You should probably pay for dinner, make it cheap, 10 to 20 bucks. You go to happy hour, get out for literally under $20, and you get an hour to practice your shit. Who cares what happens? Who cares if you're attracted to her or even if she's attracted to you? It's practice because all women are wired the same. Then he goes on the date.

12:01 He gets home. Per my program's requirements, he does an after-action report, realizes, you know, when I told the story about how my dad passed away, I don't know, it was a little bit too morbid and too sad, so I'm going to kind of reframe that one. I'm going to work on that a little bit, and you could even go into the bathroom and practice the shit in the mirror. It's a skill set, just like anything else. Practice makes perfect. Remember that old idiom? It's the same thing here, boys.

12:29 So within trying to develop this skill set, that which gets measured gets improved. So you're constantly measuring how things are going. You are not making the stupid mistake of basing your self-worth on women's reactions to you. Instead, you reframe it as it's just a skill set. You are going for a very tangible goal of numbers each week, just like I do with my boys, 20 girls a week, which I think is very feasible, and you're knocking out the numbers like a masculine man does. A masculine man is not worried about being validated by women.

13:00 He's worried about hitting the numbers. He's worried about the effort, not the results. And he doesn't give a shit about how many girls he has sex with. He cares how much am I developing the skill set. And that's where I want you guys to place your feelings of success. Did I approach those girls? Did I do my best? Did I rep out those things which I needed to rep out? Am I being completely honest with myself about those things I need to work on? And am I working on them?

13:27 That's where your entire mind should be. It shouldn't be on like, oh, she didn't like me and I feel bad or I'm too short or too fat or too bald or whatever it is that you are struggling with. That's off to the side, bro. It doesn't matter. It's about numbers. It's about doing the work. It's about putting in the reps. It's about congratulating yourself on the effort, not the results. Gentlemen, that tip right there, in my opinion, can change your life. You have control over effort, don't you?

13:55 Of course you do. You don't have control over her reaction to you. So why would you place your feelings of self-worth on something that's out of your control? No, no, no, no. We're focused on the numbers. A lot of you guys are very logical. This is where you can get logical with it. I need to practice this. I need to be more of this. Okay. It's not a testament about who you are as a man. It's simply a skill set. And that's how I want you guys to think of it.

14:19 I want you to think reps, reps, reps. Do an after-action report because that which gets measured gets improved. So guys, it's really simple. You need to simply make this into a game of mathematics, a game into what can I do better? This is why our military is so successful. This is why top-performing athletes are so successful is they're always looking back at their performance and making improvements. Hence, the after-action report. After I go into action, I make a report about what happened. I'm able to see with more clarity those things I need to work on.

14:55 I'm also able to see with more clarity all those awesome things I did where I succeeded, feeling good about it. I'm going to go rep out all those things that I need to work on over the next 20 conversations. I'm going to treat each girl as just a rep. And if you feel guilty, like I'm wasting her time, bullshit. You're entertaining her. Maybe you're taking her out to dinner. You're giving her a great experience. So you guys have an agreement. I'm going to practice on you, and you're going to get dinner out of it.

15:20 And you'll have a lot of laughs, if I'm honest. And you're going to get to see all the cool content that Mark gave me that I'm going to practice on you to make you feel good. So it's a win-win-win-win-win. Just don't make the mistake of basing your own feelings of yourself on her reaction. Her reaction doesn't matter. The numbers do. And that's part of the after-action report. Gentlemen, I hope you got a lot out of this episode. As I told you previously, we are now accepting applications to my three-month coaching program.

15:48 If you want to get the same results as Joe did, we're open to you, brother. All you need to do is apply. Let's have a conversation. See if we can get you the same results. Where Joe's like, I had sex with two girls in a day, and I was too tired to do the third one. Bro, check your cardio, dog. You must be smoking a lot over there if you can't knock out three girls. I'm fucking with you, brother. You know there's nothing but love. You're an absolute champion.

16:11 Thank you for trusting me in this program. And to you gentlemen who listen to my podcast, sincerely appreciate you, man. I know you could be doing a lot of other things, so thank you. And I mean that sincerely. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.