Insecure About Your Looks? Learn Why Confidence Beats Good Looks Every Time

0:00 Some of us look like a freaking light bulb with a grape on the top of it. I hear this all the time. Guys, invariably, have some ugly features. You think it's because you're short, fat, ugly, bald, and yes, look like a Chicken McNugget with tits, but that's not the reason, bro. The reason is how you feel about being that way. No offense, brother, but you think you're a unique snowflake? You're not. Your self-worth in society is dictated by one thing and one thing only. What you tell society your self-worth is.

0:23 No matter what your excuse is, and I know you guys love making excuses, it's bullshit. It's a fucking fallacy. Do you guys know of Andrew Tate? The guy is, for all intents and purposes, ugly. You're a fucking leader. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, boys, we are going to talk about how to be confident despite having something ugly about you. As a dating coach, I hear this all the time. Guys, invariably, have some ugly features, right?

0:41 We all can't look like a supermodel who just stepped out of the pages of GQ. Some of us are kind of ugly, man. Some of us look like Chicken McNuggets with tits. Some of us look like a freaking light bulb with a grape on the top of it, or a potato with a bathing suit on it, or a turnip standing vertically with a penis on the thing, and you just don't have confidence because of it. I also hear all the time how guys are insecure because of their ethnicity, particularly if guys are Asian or Indian, Pakistani, occasionally black, and even sometimes I hear a guy is insecure because he's white, right?

1:35 I hear everything under the board. And ultimately, man, it boils down to how you feel about yourself. If you're confident in yourself despite having these physical attributes that perhaps are not attractive in the traditional sense of what people consider attractive, and you really don't give a shit about it, you're unapologetic about it, you accept yourself as if you chose exactly how you are, women will get attracted to you because of it. So today, boys, we are going to go over some of these philosophies, and I'm going to question you, man.

2:01 I'm going to challenge these belief systems that you have that somebody gave you before you could defend yourself, or that you've bought into because certain aspects of media have perpetuated it, and now you feel you're unattractive. And as I explained in my previous podcast about why you should be confident without saying it to women, if you believe that you're unattractive, you are going to behave like you're unattractive. The way you think about yourself is telegraphed in your body language, your mannerisms, your tonality, and that's the reason girls don't get attracted to you.

2:37 You think it's because you're Asian. You think it's because you're Indian. You think it's because you're short, fat, ugly, bald, and yes, look like a chicken McNugget with tits. But that's not the reason, bro. The reason is because how you feel about being that way. Look, I don't feel like I'm the best-looking guy in the world. I have a fucking schnoz, man. As I always tell girls, I like having a big nose because when I go camping, I don't have to bring a tent. I just lay a freaking blanket over myself, and my nose holds up the blanket, and that's my tent.

3:06 Ha, ha, ha. The fact that I can have self-deprecating humor, which I'm going to talk about too in this episode, shows her that I have accepted myself as if I chose how I am. Because of that, girls get attracted to me. I literally feel that I'm a 10. I feel that I'm a catch. I feel any girl would be privileged to be with me, and even though I'm not physically the best-looking dude in the world, and even though, yeah, I'm getting a little bit older, girls still throw themselves at me, hot girls still throw themselves at me, because I accept myself as if I chose exactly how I am.

3:39 I thank the fact that I have, for example, skinny legs with, yes, some varicose veins in them. I got a big-ass nose. My face is getting a little droopy as I enter my 49th year coming up here in a few months. I'm not as good-looking as I used to be, but I love myself more than I used to, and I accept myself more than I used to, and that's why girls get attracted to me. So don't get a twisted, dog. No matter what your excuse is, and I know you guys love making excuses, it's bullshit.

4:09 It's a fucking fallacy. It was fed to you either by your parents, your brother or sister, who too believe the same thing, or by media, who says Asians aren't attractive, or short people aren't attractive, or because you're fat, you're worthless. I'm here to tell you, brother, your self-worth in society is dictated by one thing and one thing only. What you tell society your self-worth is. If you feel like a 10, you're going to be a 10. When I was like 18 years old, I used to work at a roller hockey rink, and I was the dude who kept score and like changed the lights and put the score on the scoreboard.

4:45 It was like one of my first jobs. Well, there was this referee, and he was literally 5'2". And this dude was the most confident, outspoken, charismatic dude ever. We all love the guy. And he was really short. And sometimes with short guys, and you guys have seen this, they kind of have that little dog mentality where they have a big bark that doesn't necessarily meet their stature. And the reason this is, especially with little dogs, is because they're kind of afraid and they need to act tough.

5:12 But with this dude, he was just confident, man. He just fucking believed in himself. He talked really confidently. He was just a fucking legend, dude. And I really looked up to the guy. I'm 6'2". He was 5'2", literally a foot shorter than me. And I looked up to him. Look at that language. I looked up to him because of his confidence. So one day, I'm doing the scorekeeping, and I turn to the left in this smoke show of a blonde. 5'11", perfect fucking perky ass tits, tight ass, beautiful angelic face, flat tummy, long sexy legs walks in.

5:48 And I was like, damn, dude. And at that time, you know, I was like 16 years old. I didn't have confidence. So I just cowered in my little booth and didn't talk to her because I was a fucking pussy. And here comes Jason, the 5'2 referee, gets off the court, takes off his skates, walks right over to her, and kisses her. And I was like, dude, that's Jason's girlfriend? Are you kidding me? So he brings her over and introduces her to me. And I'm like so intimidated.

6:12 I'm like shaking, right? And he's just like, yeah, dog, this is my girlfriend. And everyone's like, bro, did you see Jason's girlfriend? How did he pull her? He's only 5'2", and she's 5'11". How did he do that? I'll tell you how he did it, boys. And you know what I'm going to say. It was his confidence. No matter what physical limitation you have, we'll get girls attracted to you. You can't come to me with any excuse that I will validate. I will say, brother, it's all your belief system.

6:40 I have seen some of the ugliest dudes in the world pull some of the hottest girls in the world. Do you guys know of Andrew Tate? I'm sure you've heard of him. If you listen to my podcast, maybe you resonate with his stuff too. Maybe I'll do a podcast about him someday because I agree with some of what he says, but I don't agree with other things of what he says. So it might be an interesting episode. But take a moment to Google the dude and really look at his face.

7:05 Like, really have a good look at it. The guy is fucking weird looking. The guy is, for all intents and purposes, ugly. Yet he just has that confidence, doesn't he? He thinks that he's the shit. He's unapologetic. He's masculine. He's a fucking champion. And he yanks girls because of it. Solid 10s, supermodels are with him all the time. And the dude literally looks like he should be at the wrong end of a freak show experience. Not trying to rip on the dude. As I said, I agree with some of what he says.

7:34 Other things I don't agree with. But what I'm saying is, it doesn't matter what you look like. You idiots. I tell you guys this all the time. Yet you refuse to listen. You're like, no, it's not the same for me. Mark doesn't understand my situation. No offense, brother. But you think you're a unique snowflake whose situation is completely different than everybody else's. But ultimately, we're all kind of in the same boat. And I have worked with guy after guy after guy who, by removing their belief systems and replacing them with confidence, were able to yank hot girls.

8:06 I've talked about it in a previous episode. This guy always pops up in my head. He was a client of mine like a year ago. He was 5'2". He was a Marine. And he just had this belief about his height that he was unattractive. We literally removed that shit like a splinter from his brain in the first week. And then he started pulling, dude. And he's like, I can't believe this shit, man. And I was like, well, how do you feel about yourself? And he's like, I love myself, dude.

8:29 I accept myself. I think I'm really attractive. And I'm like, that's why you're pulling girls. So, the first point, boys, is this. Your belief system, which however it was given to you, is nothing but BS. Belief system and also bullshit. Belief systems are illusions. All of them. Even the good ones are illusions if you really think about it. But you might as well have a good one because the results are real. Belief systems, when put out there, map reality. Because as I always say, first you think of the picture, then you paint it, then you step inside of it.

9:02 Belief systems map your reality. And whether they're good or bad, they're going to produce good results or bad results. Might as well choose the good results, right? If you believe you're an alpha, absolute silverback who's attractive to women, you will be attractive to women. It's kind of like the old haircut analogy. And if I were to look at you, I'd be like, yeah, his hair is a little bit shorter. But you feel really good about it. You feel you're attractive. You feel it looks good on you.

9:28 And you behave differently. And girls jock you. You think it's because of the haircut that girls are jocking you. But the real reason is because how it makes you feel. So, if you feel good enough, you will be good enough. What's the trick here? First of all, awareness alone is curative. Meaning, whatever your excuse is, and I know a lot of you guys have tons of excuses, right? Or you have a physical malady like a fucked up hand or a peg leg or you have like really bad acne or you have some weird like skin issues or you're like balding really bad.

10:01 Whatever it is, you've convinced yourself that's the reason girls aren't attracted to you. But I'm here to tell you that that's not the reason. It's your belief about it. Now, can you get to the point where you accept it as if you chose it, which is where you need to get to? I know it's difficult, guys. I've been there myself. There's a lot of things about me that I didn't like. But by working on it, and again, awareness alone is curative. By knowing this is just an illusion.

10:27 This doesn't have to be unattractive. If I accept it, girls are going to get attracted to me almost because I accept it. And that's a point I'm going to get to in a second. So stick with me because there's a really interesting story I want to tell you. Stick with me. But once you accept it, knowing that it's BS that you feel you're unattractive because of it, you will become more attractive to girls because you accept yourself. Accepting yourself is the key, man. You can look any way you want to.

10:53 You can look like an unfrozen caveman, a fucking mountain troll. You can look like a dude who's at the wrong end of a freak show experience. But if you're confident, you're charismatic, and you're happy, and you're just throwing it out there, yeah, even making fun of yourself about it, girls will get attracted to you. This is why sometimes you'll see like really hideously ugly dudes or really fat guys with hot girls. Now, what do you say to yourself when you see that? Oh, he must have money.

11:18 See, man, I can read your mind. I know exactly how you guys think because I used to think that way too. But as a dating coach, with the results that I've seen with guys who are quote-unquote ugly suddenly pulling super hot girls once I remap their mind, I know that the money excuse is just that. It's an excuse for you to feel justified that he's an ugly dude who's yanking girls when you're not because you have simply not accepted yourself. So awareness alone is curative. You now know, oh, man, maybe Mark is right.

11:50 Maybe I will just accept it as if I've chosen it. Some of you guys have like really gross things about you. Look at it tonight before you go to bed and be like, hey, man, I'm sorry I've been kind of mean to you. I'm sorry I've really attacked you and hated you and try to send that thing love. I had a client once who had a really messed up hand. He was just born with a hand that was all jacked. Like half his fingers were gone.

12:14 And it's like the top half of the finger was on top of the bottom half in a weird way. It was like double stacked and it was just all messed up. And it was that way from birth. And he really had a big hang up about this thing. So through NLP, we were able to remap. My hand is unattractive to I accept myself as if I chose how I am. And through that, he was able to accept it. And now he loves his hand. And here's something else, boys.

12:39 And this is going to get a little spiritual with you, but I don't give a fuck. I'm going to express my beliefs. If you agree with it, fine. If you don't, that's fine too. Please don't email me about it. I just don't have the time to get in discussions about it. But here's what I believe. And this has really helped me. And maybe it'll help some of you too. I believe we have a purpose to be here on earth. And in my belief, the purpose is to experience that which we are not in order to wake up to that which we are, which is love, compassion, acceptance, all things that are generative of love.

13:09 So we experience the opposite of love, which is fear, which derives self-disrespect and everything along those lines. So I believe that people who come into this world with a malady, such as my client who had the messed up hand, I believe he chose that in order to overcome it. I also believe that nobody will choose a calamity when they incarnate into this world that they can't overcome. So in my opinion, when I look at somebody who, say, for example, is in a wheelchair or who is 5'2", Indian, fat, and balding, I almost respect those guys more because in my opinion, they chose to be that way in order to overcome it, which to me points to the strength of their soul.

13:50 And this is the way I look at it. This is the way I reframe it. When something really bad happens to me, I'm like, damn, dude, I must have a really strong soul because I truly believe. And I've seen it time and time again, and I think you guys have too. There's nothing as humans we can't overcome. The spirit we have, the courage we have, the strength of love in our hearts, which is backed by spirit, and yes, even backed by God, cannot overcome any challenge.

14:17 I always tell my little girl, there's no problem that can't be solved. Once you believe in your own spirit, your own soul, and yeah, even believe that the calamities you're facing were chosen by you, especially physical maladies and things like that, you really get leverage over those things being able to hold you down. And you think, dude, I chose this in order to overcome it. Furthermore, boys, and this is really interesting. I came up with this concept probably like 10 years ago, and it was the time, I think some of you guys have heard this.

14:46 I did a webinar once when I was trying to start my initial seduction business, and I did a webinar. I spent literally weeks on this thing. It was two hours long. It was really fucking good. And because I didn't know how to market myself, and because I was just failing and failing and failing in my business, I built this webinar. I tried to advertise it. Zero people saw it. There was one person who watched the whole thing. You know who that was? It was my mom.

15:12 So my mom called me after she watched the webinar. She's like, whoa, that was really interesting. Well, in that webinar, I talked about the birds of paradise, and I love this concept, man. Even now as I'm talking about it, I'm kind of getting shivers. Like this stuff really gets me fired up, and I hope it does the same for you. Well, the birds of paradise are in New Guinea, and they're really beautiful birds. You've seen them on certain documentaries like Earth or like the James Attenborough.

15:37 Is that the dude? The old British dude is talking. You've probably seen them on those documentaries. Well, they have really beautiful plumage, and a lot of them have really long tails. Well, from a survival perspective, the long tail should hinder them, right? Gets them stuck in the trees. They can't maneuver as quickly. Predators can see their big plumage and their long tails, thus being able to catch them easier. So why, from an anthropological evolutionary standpoint, would they have all these big tails and huge plumage, which basically decreases their ability to survive?

16:10 Well, the reason it is, is because it's for attraction. When a male bird has more plumage, women get more attracted to him, and here's the point. Because he can survive despite having these maladies. Despite having these attributes, which make his survival harder, because he's able to survive, he is going to be more attractive to the female birds. And it works the same way with humans. The reason I believe that James was able to pull this 5'11 fucking smoke show when he was 5'2", is because he was able to survive and thrive and be confident despite having this malady.

16:49 So she actually would get more attractive to him than she would to me, a guy who's 6'2", had I had the same confidence. So accepting yourself as if you chose how you are will actually supercharge your attractiveness to women because you're confident despite having this malady. So I want you guys to really think about that. The birds of paradise. They have these long tails, they have this big colorful plumage that makes survival more difficult, but because they're able to survive with those attributes, women get more attracted to them.

17:20 So if you are short, fat, ugly, bald, look like a chicken McNugget with tits, what if you just accepted yourself, bro, and just fucking loved yourself as if you chose exactly how you are? And by the way, you did choose exactly how you are. I want to throw that one out there. Before you incarnated, you planned this whole life and said, yeah, I'm going to be a little overweight. I'm going to be bald. Dude, you're strong, bro. I admire you so much for that. You chose that, but you have to understand that you chose it and you have to be confident and love those things that you hate about yourself.

17:52 Some of you guys can't even look in the mirror because you're so insecure about the way you look or the way other people perceive you. And I get it, brothers. I coined the chicken McNugget with tits look because one day I was looking in the mirror and I was like, yo, I look like a chicken McNugget with tits on it. And now I'm prone to the spare tire look. I'm prone to a little bit of man boobs, right? It's difficult for all of us, dude. Nobody has it easy.

18:16 But once I looked in the mirror and said, man, I love you, brother, and I accept you exactly how you are, everything changed for me. Girls got infinitely more attracted to me. I felt infinitely better about myself and was a lot happier, a lot more at ease. I wasn't sitting there beating myself up or hating the fact that I have a little bit of a spare tire. My dad had it. My grandpa had it. It's genetic, dude. I could super kill myself by fasting all the time and eating like the most pin diet ever, which I've done.

18:44 But at a point, you got to be like, yo, this is how I am. This is the body I got. I chose it for a reason. And here's the thing, boys. I believe you chose it to overcome your need for it to be different. You chose it so that you could accept it as if you chose it, which you did. And once you get to that point, accepting yourself, loving yourself and saying, yeah, this is how I am and I'm actually pretty okay with it. Girls will be okay with it.

19:10 Now, quickly to wrap this up, I want to give you some self-deprecating tips. First of all, you should be so confident in yourself that, again, you're unapologetic about how you are. If she has a problem with it, it's her issue. You love yourself and accept yourself. Secondly, it's good to show that you accept yourself when you're able to joke about, say, being Mexican or Indian or black or short, fat, ugly, bald, whatever it is. You should have jokes about it that are self-deprecating in a humorous way, thus showing that you've risen above the insecurity of the thing.

19:43 For example, you got a guy who's from India. He has a very thick accent and he's convinced himself that because of that, American women won't be attracted to him. So the first thing to do, of course, is to accept it as if you chose it. But the second thing to do is to make jokes about yourself to women to let them know that you've completely accepted it and you actually think it's funny by saying something like, you know why you shouldn't date an Indian guy, right?

20:08 And she'll be like, why? And he'll say, because he's going to call you at 3 a.m. and try to fix your computer over the phone and then he's going to try to sell you some timeshare in Oahu and run off with your money because ultimately he's working in a scamming business in New Delhi, India. You know why you shouldn't date a Mexican, right? Because he's going to park his car on your lawn and every time you walk by, he's going to go, sweet, chica, you look great in those outfits today.

20:35 You look better on my floor. Always making fun of yourself, whatever your malady is. You're bald. Cool. I love being bald. It makes me more aerodynamic. I'm fat. Sweet. I get to stay warm during these cold winter months. I'm short. Awesome. I'm going to be super prepared for jungle warfare. Whatever your thing is, you need to think of a joke about it and be totally unaffected. Like I said, boys, I always joke about my big ass schnoz, my big ass nose, telling girls that I could smell the coffee of my neighbors in the morning.

21:05 I could go camping and make a tent. Bats live up there sometimes and they fly out and bring me little treasures back, right? I've trained them to go take tips off people's tables and like bring me the money back. You have to joke about it to show that you're unaffected by it. As I'm sure James, our 5'2 referee hero who had the 5'11 platinum Ukrainian blonde that was so hot, I couldn't even speak to her when I was 16 years old. That's probably what he did. He said, man, I love being short.

21:33 If I could just shrink a few more inches, then I can achieve my lifelong goal of being a horse jockey. Then she giggles. She's amazed that he's not affected by her hotness. He's completely unapologetic and comfortable enough to lead her to where she wants to be led. And then she falls for him. Meanwhile, there's a 6'2 jacked hockey player who doesn't even have the courage to go talk to the chick. He folds like a long chair. The second he sees the girl, that's the difference. It's all about confidence, accepting yourself as if you chose it.

22:02 So marinate on this one, boys. If you want to come into my program and have those belief systems surgically removed from your brain, hit me up. Click the first link in the description below. Otherwise, I super appreciate you guys listening. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review.

22:34 You have no idea how much that helps me. Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.