If You Don't Do These 7 Things, She Will Leave You

0:00 What's up, boys? Before we jump into the episode, I've had several people tell me that on Spotify particularly, I'm no longer posting content after this episode. But the truth is, I'm doing two episodes per week, and Spotify is having some aggregation problems. I don't know if it's with RSS feed or what. But if that's happening to you, please try to refresh your app, and then my new episodes will show up. If that doesn't work, do me a solid and email me. I'll send you a bunch of cool stuff just to let me know that this is happening to you.

0:28 But I'm definitely still posting. If you can't watch it on Spotify, maybe try somewhere else. But since this episode, I've been doing consistently twice per week. So if this is the only one you see, maybe go search for it elsewhere, restart the app, whatever it is you have to do, email me letting me know, and I will send you some cool shit for the heads up. All right, appreciate it. Let's get into the content. If you're not willing to swallow some hard truths, then don't listen.

0:53 Click away. You haven't been attractive. You haven't been communicating. You honestly haven't been putting the relationship as a priority. She's let herself go. Her mouth looks like the mouth of Jabba the Hutt, and you don't want to fucking kiss her. You see her eating Cheetos on the couch out of her belly button, and she's got a muffin top. She looks like a chicken McNugget with tits. If your relationship is failing, it's largely your fault. If you let yourself go, you kind of look like a turnip standing vertically with a penis on the thing, she's going to resent you for it.

1:22 You have to be the bigger man. Lead that relationship. Fix yourself. Relationships ain't for pussies. If you're a woman, the best way to keep a man is to give him magical sex. The Unapologetic Man Podcast. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. If you're new to my show, welcome. My name is Mark Singh. I am an NLP dating coach. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. What I try to do in the show, as many of my loyal listeners can attest, is deliver content in the quickest, easiest way possible.

1:50 I know your time is valuable. You could be doing a million other things. So with that out of the way, boys, let's jump into the content. First and foremost, guys, some of you listening are not in a relationship, but this still will apply to you. But obviously, this is for guys who are in a marriage or in a relationship that isn't going very well. And usually, it's a slow process. Usually, there's separation between the two of you. There's passive aggressive feelings. There's resentment that brews. And largely, that's because of a lack of communication.

2:20 So we're going to talk about these things. But also, it's because honestly, brother, if you're listening, and this may be a hard truth for you to swallow, you fucked up in several ways. You haven't been doing several things. You haven't been attractive. You haven't been communicating. You honestly haven't been putting the relationship as a priority. And the easiest thing to do is to point fingers. But what got you here in the first place, what got you here in the first place is pointing fingers, making her the one who's wrong and not taking extreme ownership.

2:49 And so when you listen to this episode, just be completely honest with yourself. Try to be humble. Try to be the bigger man as it were. Because if you really want to save your relationship, you have to put your ego aside. Your ego wants to be correct. Your ego wants to win. Your ego wants her to acquiesce and supplicate. And yeah, I get it. She's obviously part of the problem. It takes two people to have a failing relationship. But you're a part of the problem too, brother.

3:16 And since you're the only one that you can actively fix, we're going to talk about how to fix you. We're also going to talk about how to fix her so don't get butt hurt. But if you're not willing to swallow some hard truths in this episode, then don't listen. Click away. Because I'm going to serve it to you what needs to really happen. Not pie-in-the-sky fantasies where I'll reprogram your brain and you'll just act differently and then she'll act differently. That's a part of it. And I'm going to talk about that in a minute.

3:39 But really down to the penny honesty where you're telling yourself, look, I had a part in this. It takes two to make a relationship fail. And I've been at least half of the problem. Now, some of you are like, no, man, she's the completely psycho one. But before you determine that, listen to what I have to say. And again, be completely honest with yourself. So part one, own your part, right? You need to understand that you are blaming your partner for a lot of the issues that you helped to create.

4:09 And when you take radical responsibility for how you've contributed to the breakdown, that's the first step. Now, if you're still listening, you're mature enough to have admitted that. So you're already ahead of the curve. You're saying, look, I've been responsible for this. I understand I'm part of the problem. Let's go ahead and fix it. That gets into number two, rebuild emotional safety. You have to prioritize her in your life because as men, we oftentimes let the woman fall by the wayside. And oftentimes when we lose frame, when we lose the leadership role, when we no longer are attractive to her because we've gotten lazy, we're not chasing our goals, which I'm going to talk about, she starts to resent us.

4:44 When she starts to resent us, she starts to nag us, which I'm sure a lot of you guys are nodding right now saying, yeah, that's what's happening to me. She starts to nag you, maybe make passive aggressive comments towards you, or even start to pull away from you and possibly even start to cheat on you because of what you failed to do within yourself. Women want a man to chase while the man is chasing his goals. She wants a man who's ambitious, who's driven, who's willing to take her under his wing and show her an experience.

5:15 So if you haven't done that, it's time to empathize with her and why she's let down by you. And I get it, boys. I'm in a relationship. I've been with my girl for many years. We're virtually married. So I understand that sometimes it gets boring. Sometimes you don't want to prioritize her. Sometimes she annoys the shit out of you. And all you want to do is get away from her and resent her and be like, why does she always put the tea bag in the fucking sink and never throws it away?

5:40 Every day I got to throw that thing away from her and the resentment brews. But you have to be the bigger man. Your responsibility in the relationship is to lead that relationship, which I'm going to talk about. And what I'm going to tell you is that the person who wants less is the one who's always the leader. I'm going to explain that in a minute. So definitely stay tuned. But you have to take the bigger role and open up a place of empathy, leading the relationship in the way that you're going to take the first step to fix it.

6:03 So you need to put yourself in her shoes. See how she's feeling. What did you do wrong to create this situation? Once you get clarity on that, we can move to step three. And by the way, guys, stay tuned until the end. I'm going to give you two bonuses. And number seven is a really good one that I want you guys to stay tuned for. So keep listening. I got a lot of really good stuff to drop on you. Number three is learn to fight clean.

6:31 All right. That's the first step. You guys are fighting. The relationship is starting to fail. You need to be clean about it, man. One of the best quotes I've ever heard was from the Tao Te Ching. It says, in conflict, be fair and generous. When's the last time you've been in a fight and you've been generous about it? You haven't, dude. You've been a taker. You've been selfish. You want to be fucking right. This is why I say all the time, the ego, which is the part in you that always wants to feel right, is responsible for all the world's destruction.

6:55 It's responsible for failed relationships. It's responsible for all the wars. It's responsible for everything negative in this world because you want to feel right. You're being selfish. You're being a taker by not giving her the opportunity to see it from her perspective. Now, can I guarantee that she's going to do the same thing? No. But if you take the steps to do it first, many times she will follow, especially when you are fair and generous and you're trying to take the higher road and don't tell her you're taking the higher road.

7:28 As I spoke about recently in an episode, the second you tell a woman you're confident or tell a woman, yeah, go ahead and leave me. I'll find somebody else. It makes you look try hard. It makes it look like it's not true. You have to show her that you're ready to fix your relationship, both in your words by telling her, I'm ready to fix my relationship, but also in your actions by taking the higher road, by trying to see it from her perspective. Simply saying things to a woman such as, hey, Melissa, for example, I notice you're really hurt about this.

7:52 You seem angry. Is it because from your perspective, you feel that maybe I wasn't listening to you and perhaps I was being selfish with my time? I'm trying to understand it from your perspective. Is that how you feel? If you say that to a woman, she's going to be like, oh my God, finally, he's trying to understand me. Two of the biggest reasons relationships fail is number one, lack of frame, lack of leadership, which I'm going to talk about. And number two, her feeling like you don't listen to her, her feeling like you don't understand her and you don't really give a shit about her feelings because we as men are very logical.

8:24 You guys know this. All you want to do is get logically to the point. You don't understand women's emotions, but what she needs from you is to at least try to understand her emotions or at the very least boys. And this is so simple. Just listen to her. Just be there for her. Be a presence. Put your attention on her. Literally all she wants is your attention. She just wants to feel seen. And many times relationships dissolve because the man doesn't see her anymore. He doesn't give a shit about her anymore.

8:56 And I know why it happens, boys. Maybe she lets herself go. She gets a little fat. She kind of gets ugly. She's graying. And you're like, dude, she won't even take care of herself. The most important thing to a man is that his woman supports him, is his biggest cheerleader, and fucking takes care of herself. As I've recorded in this podcast already, saying that if you're a woman, the best way to keep a man is to give him amazing sex, take care of your fucking body, be as hot as possible, support him, get his back, never talk shit about him behind his back, never throw him under the bus, and be as big as cheerleader.

9:26 Very simple. The way to keep a woman happy, which is funny to me because I've literally done 690 episodes on it, is to be emotionally there for her, pay attention to her, validate her, make her feel adored within the 8100 rule, which I'm going to talk about in a minute, and make her feel understood. Women want to feel like they're understood and they are loved for who they truly are. If you make a woman feel loved, she's going to move into her feminine energy. Once she moves into her feminine energy, she's going to be more likely to take care of her looks, to lose the weight.

10:02 It's a perpetuation of resentment. Little things start. You guys don't talk about it. You don't communicate. She starts getting resentful towards you. You start getting resentful towards her. You pull away. She stops working on herself. She goes into her masculine because she doesn't feel like she can trust your masculine. So she becomes more like a dude. You lose more attraction for her. The next thing you know, you see her eating Cheetos on the couch out of her belly button as her hair is pulled back and you kind of see her hairlines receding and she's got some grays and she's got a muffin top.

10:32 She looks like a chicken McNugget with tits and you're like, dude, I don't want to hit that anymore. This chick's letting herself go and I'm responsible. Guys, I get it. But in order to get her back into her feminine energy of beauty and in order for her to actually work on herself, you need to be the man and take the bigger role. This starts with you doing what I talked about in the first three tips, but it also includes you having a conversation with her saying, hey, Sarah, for example, I noticed our relationship is kind of struggling.

10:56 I mean, you obviously see it too. I want to work on this. I want to be a team like you guys were a team when you got married. Think about that day that you agreed to get married and you actually got married, your honeymoon, the first kid you had, perhaps. Those were magical times that have since disintegrated. But if you could get back to that team aspect, that's going to be the most important element. You guys both have to work together to fix this shit. And is it easy?

11:23 No, it's a lot of hard work. My relationship with my girl Marissa is fantastic, but don't get it twisted. We see a counselor every month, not because we have big issues, but just to talk about the shit because we might not talk about it otherwise. You need to set aside a time. You need to commit to it. You need to make your relationship a priority. And if she's not on the same page, I don't know how you're going to fix that relationship. Maybe you could do it with the tips I'm going to give you coming up by being more attractive.

11:51 And then she falls for you again. And then she wants to work on it. But essentially you need to be a team. You need to communicate. You need to agree that this relationship is important and you too need to work on it. Number four, and this goes into once you guys start working on it, right? You've decided we're going to do this. Let's really give this a go. You make deposits, not just withdrawals. My friend Alex, the other day, it's a woman. Her name is Alex.

12:16 She said to me, be a fountain, not a drain. And I was like, yo, I got to say that on my podcast. That's so sick. Cause as you guys know who I've been listening, I always say, be a go giver. The way to become successful with women successful in life is to give good energy. Stop being a taker. There's so many takers out there. So in the relationship, you have to be a giver, man. Be fair and generous and generous means give. Even if she's not willing to, you'll get her to be willing to, but you have to lead it.

12:43 You as the man or the leader, you have to make a conscious decision to fix your failing relationship. Listening to one podcast episode isn't going to do it. I will tell you what is going to do it in a minute. So stay tuned, but listening to this one episode isn't going to do it. It's going to take commitment. It's going to take hard work. It's going to take you two working as a team. And even if you have to slightly pretend a little bit, you have to make deposits, not just withdrawals, which means speak their love language daily.

13:07 My woman and I do this thing called Venus talks, where she comes into the room. She tells me about her day. Then I hug her for like 20 seconds. And then we separate. I go into the basement, which is where my office is. This is my studio. It's in the basement. She goes to her area. And now I'm in my masculine. She's in her feminine. We also do this thing called seven seconds of heaven. Every day. I recommend this. If you want to get your relationship back, try this.

13:33 Kiss each other for seven seconds. It has been scientifically proven that when you do that, something like oxytocin or serotonin is released where you guys are bonded closer together. So yeah, even if she's a little bit ugly, bro, she's let herself go. Her mouth looks like the mouth, the job of the hut, and you don't want to fucking kiss her. You have to do it, man. If you want to fix your failing relationship, you have to get intimate with her again. Now that begs the question, what if she's not willing to be intimate with me?

14:00 She's completely pushed me away. She hasn't had sex with me in 10 months and she's not even kissing me anymore. Those tips are coming up. So stay tuned. Number five is to have the hard conversations. Avoiding topics only makes them worse. So you guys got to get a counselor. You guys got to get a therapist or at the very least sit down and talk about your issues. But I found that even as a coach and I'm supposed to know it all, I don't know it all. And therefore I rely on others such as our therapist to tell us what we're doing wrong.

14:29 When you admit that you have blind spots, you're going to learn more. And personally, I feel I'm a great coach because I'm willing to learn. I go to self-development seminars all the time. I go to NLP seminars all the time. I still have an NLP coach who trains me, even though sometimes he's like, dude, you should be training me. I'm like, no, no, no. You should be training me. You always have to invest into yourself and make you don't know everything and hire somebody to help you.

14:52 And in so doing, you can have the hard conversations. You guys can work through it. I truly believe there's no problem in a relationship that can't be overcome outside of one of you cheating on each other. If she cheats on you and you take her back, I'm just being honest, bro. I don't think she could ever respect you again. That's like the one deal breaker of all deal breakers or she like murders your family, right? Like something gnarly like that. But cheating, in my opinion, you can't take her back.

15:16 But everything else, like she's gotten fat. She's pushed you away. She resents you. She nags you. You resent her. She's not giving you her sex. That could be fixed easily, easily. When you take extreme ownership and realize that you had a big part of the relationship starting to fall apart. Number six, create a shared vision. Become a team again. Just like when you guys first got married. What's your vision for the relationship? What does she want? Does she want a date night every week? Okay. I'm going to take that under consideration.

15:44 Do you want to have sex every other day? Okay. She needs to take that under consideration. You guys need to be a team again. You need to communicate. And I understand, brothers. Sometimes it's hard, especially for those of you who are very introverted. You just don't like to talk about it. You have enough fucking problems. You have, for example, three kids, a career, a mortgage, a 401k, a freaking car that's breaking down. And you look like a potato with a bathing suit on it. And you're like, God bless America.

16:13 Now I got to give this shit my priority. Yeah, you do, man. Just like I tell my boys in my three month coaching program, I say, listen, when you come into this program, you need to make it an immersion phase. You need to deprioritize some other things. Yeah. Even the gym a little bit in order to make this a priority to master this part of your life. Well, it's the same thing with the relationship. Do you really want to fix your relationship? If you do, you're going to invest in yourself.

16:37 You're going to take the time into the relationship and you're going to fucking fix that thing as a masculine man does. And that goes into number seven, boys. You've got to become more attractive. Honestly, if your relationship is failing, I can almost guarantee, and I've seen it so many times, you've kind of let yourself go. You haven't really been working on your dreams, your purpose, following your mission, or you haven't been the masculine man there for your woman who wants certain things from you. Here's what a woman wants from you.

17:02 She wants you to be the leader. She wants you to lead her to where she wants to be led. She wants you to chase your dreams as she chases you. Furthermore, she needs you to be a little bit unpredictable. What I've found with women is they want that dude is a little bit dangerous, a little bit unpredictable, and she steers him to be just safe enough to have a family with. That's how I am as a man, and that's how I am in my relationship. I drift my car sometimes when it's snowing.

17:29 I'll do burnouts on my motorcycle. I do wheelies everywhere. There's a little bit of a daredevil risk-taker element to you, and she feels like she needs to control you. Within that, you need to take her on a fairytale experience. You need to seduce her again. How do you seduce her again? You learn about female psychology. You run her through the myriad of attraction-building gambits that I've taught. You take her on dates. Have fun again. You guys used to have fun together, didn't you? What are you not doing now that was fun in the past that you can bring back again?

18:02 Did you guys dance? Did you hike together, bicycle together? Did you love to go to dinner and watch movies? Were you guys wine connoisseurs? Did you travel? What is it that's been lost, and how can you get that back? As I said, I know you're busy, Theodore Roosevelt, but you need to make this a priority. Make her a priority again. Sweep that girl off her feet. Furthermore, boys, she wants to feel safe, and I'm telling you, this is how female psychology is. If you've let yourself dough, you kind of look like a turnip standing vertically with a penis on the thing, and you're not really in shape, you don't know how to protect yourself, you're kind of just a tier four kind of guy, she's going to resent you for it.

18:40 So, start working on yourself again. Start being that dude. Even take martial arts classes, or learn how to protect, or whatever way you need to do so, women feel under danger literally multiple times a day. When's the last time you felt under danger? Probably not in weeks, if not months, or even some of you years. I know for me, it's been like a couple years. Most of all, because I train in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I have firearms, I feel like I can protect myself, but also because I'm a dude.

19:07 I'm a tall, relatively in shape guy. People don't really fuck with me. Imagine being a little woman who, with all these predators around, feels unsafe, and she looks at you, her man, and she doesn't feel he can protect her. We need to be that dude that she fantasized about when she was a kid. You need to understand female psychology, how to run her through gambits, the 8100 rule. One little thing that I've taught so much about, which is you need to give her less than what she wants from you.

19:35 Always leave her wanting more. So, you see her a little bit less, you're chasing your dreams, and she's chasing you. You're not chasing her, she's chasing you, then she'll give up the sex. So, concepts like the 8100 rule, gambits, how to tell stories, how to run her through emotions via all the emotional triggers I teach, this is really important. Number eight, boys, learn frame control. I have some good news for you. If you've never heard the term frame control, you're in luck, brother. I just solved 80% of your problem.

20:02 Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go listen to any and all my episodes on frame control. Realize that a woman cannot become attracted to you unless you have a stronger frame than she does. You're going to learn how to develop your frame. Learn how to show that girl you're no longer to be fucked with. Learn how to lead that woman as a masculine man should. Learn how to give her 80% of what she wants from you. And learn how to take her under your wing and give her an experience that she married you for.

20:32 When you learn about frame control, everything changes. Now, some of you, you already know about it, but you can't seem to get it into your relationship. Many times that comes down to your traumas and your belief systems, which is the bonus. Number nine is you need to fix the shit in your head because I guarantee you, brother, many of you are repeating the same dysfunctions that you had in childhood and she could be doing the same thing where she constantly felt smothered by her dad. So she constantly rejected her dad.

21:00 She doesn't want to talk to him anymore. She pushes him away as she's pushing you away or you not getting enough love from your mom are constantly chasing her feeling needy. And because you're putting her in a situation that goes into her dysfunction, she's pushing you away, not giving you the sex. What's the best thing you can do today to fix your relationship? Fix yourself. And I stand by that every day of the week and twice on Sunday. This is why I do NLP, Neuro, Linguistic, Programming, which remaps traumas, which remaps belief systems, which goes after all the schemas, archetypes, and meta programs in my clients' heads to make them more attractive to women, to make them more confident, to get rid of their dysfunctions that are constantly fucking up their relationships.

21:38 So if you want to talk to me about getting a custom NLP three-month protocol made specifically for you to deal with the bullshit that you haven't yet faced, email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com. I am taking a small group of clients to make them custom NLP protocols, the same protocols that I give my guys in my three-month coaching program. And if you've listened for any amount of time, the same protocols that radically remap their belief systems, traumas, and archetypes to where they're singing my praises on every single episode.

22:12 I have some kind of clip or some kind of review where people are constantly saying I changed their lives. NLP works so radically well in relationship-based modalities, belief systems, traumas, the way you deal with her, whether or not you feel worthy of love, whether or not you feel you even deserve this woman, and why she resents you. Change you, change the situation. And again, boys, I'm offering this to a small handful of men. It takes me about eight to ten hours to make each one. It's a three-month protocol that you're going to work on almost every day over the next three months to remap your brain.

22:43 You behave differently, then she gets attracted to you differently. Here's the truth. Women are like little radar systems. They can look at you, see what's going on with your self-esteem and self-worth, and their attraction for you is based on it. That could be the problem right there. She's just lost attraction and respect for you because you don't feel like you're enough within yourself. You don't feel worthy of love. Therefore, in her subconscious, she's thinking, I'm not going to love a guy who doesn't love himself or feel worthy of love.

23:07 There's all these dysfunctions that go into why relationships fail, and that's exactly what I do. So if you're interested, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com. You and I will talk. I'll give you more information about it. We'll see if it's a good fit, and we'll get you back on the road to fixing your relationship by first fixing you. Let's go over them again, boys. Number one, own your part in this. You had a part, you have to own it. Extreme ownership. Rebuild emotional safety is number two.

23:32 Prioritize empathy, validation, and non-reactivity so your partner feels safe opening up again. Number three, learn to fight clean. Take the higher ground. Remember, in conflict, be fair and generous. Number four, make deposits, not just withdrawals. Be a fountain, not a drain. Number five, have the hard conversations. Yeah, they suck. Yeah, you don't want to do it. You'd rather go to the fucking dentist and have a root canal without Novocaine than have those conversations. But you got to be a man. You got to step into your masculine energy, and you have to fix that relationship.

24:05 She deserves it. Number six, create a shared vision. Have goals together. Number seven, become more attractive, brother. And even if just listening to this podcast helps you do that, you need to learn how to seduce her again. Number eight, learn frame control. God damn it. After this episode, after you email me saying you're interested in the NLP protocol, the custom three-month NLP protocol that I'm going to make exactly for you, after you fill out the NLP intake form, go listen to any and all my episodes on frame control.

24:38 Just Google that with my name, Mark Singh, S-I-N-G, and they will pop up. And number nine, fix the bullshit in your head. I'm here for you if you're interested in doing that. But boys, it's not going to be an overnight fix. You're not going to fix it with one podcast. But I gave you some sort of action plan that you could go out and execute to fix your relationship. And if you're a dude listening who's not in a relationship, guys, always put communication at the forefront of your relationship.

25:04 The second she becomes your girlfriend, you need to have the talk. Hey, listen, relationships are tough. So what do you say? We talk about things maybe like once a month. Would that be cool? What you're lacking, what you're desiring, any hard feelings, any resentment? Are you cool to talk about that? And she'll probably say yes. She'll really love that you want the relationship to succeed and you're willing to communicate to earn that. And that's what you got to do, boys. You got to earn it. Relationships aren't easy.

25:28 We could even say relationships ain't for pussies. And if your relationship is failing, you've let it fail, dude. I hate to give you that hard truth, but it's largely your fault. Her fault too. I know she's not perfect, but you need to be the man. You need to lead that woman to where she wants to be led. And don't get it twisted. She wants to fall in love with you again. She wants the relationship to work. So lead her there. Take her there. That alone will get more attracted to you when you take extreme ownership and make the commitment to fix the relationship, which by the way, starts in your own head.

25:57 So if you want to work with me, email me, coachmarkzing at gmail.com. All right, gentlemen, I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review. You have no idea how much that helps me.

26:22 Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.