How I Seduced a Woman to Help Me Break Out of Prison: Based on a True Story

0:00 Today, boys, I am going to tell you a fictitious story based on a true story about a prison break. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to weave in how I seduced a woman to help me break out of prison. This is going to be a lot of fun, boys. It's going to be super interesting. So enjoy the show. The Unapologetic Man Podcast. What's up, gentlemen? So today we are doing something a little bit different. I am going to tell you about a prison break that I had by seducing a woman.

0:29 Now, what's really cool about this story is that it's based on a true story, meaning this really happened. In fact, everything I'm going to tell you today actually happened. I've been super into watching like prison break videos and how guys escape. It just interests me tremendously. So I got inspired over the last few weeks to weave this story into a fictitious story about me and you. That's right. You're going to be included in this as well. Broke out of prison together. Now, if you're one of those haters that analyzes every single second of podcasts and leaves hateful comments, give me a break, man.

1:04 This is a fictitious story. So when I tell you about the federal prison camp Florence, which is located in Colorado, and I say it was three stories and you look it up and you're like, no, it was actually two stories. Relax, bro. I'm changing a few of the facts here and there to make this story work even better. But overall, this actually happened. And I'm going to give credit to the channel that I got a lot of these stories from where I'm weaving them together. So there's like a lot of different pieces from different stories.

1:31 But dude, this is incredible that this shit actually happened. So let's jump into the content. All right, boys, something you don't know about me is in 2005, I was actually sent to prison because I was a jewel thief. I admit it. I've stolen over $10 million in diamonds, gold, even cryptocurrency over the years. And in 2005, I was captured by the feds. Now, what you probably don't know is that when you go to federal prison, it means that you did a federal crime, which means you crossed state lines.

2:05 Federal prisons have something like a 98% conviction rate. So in 2005, I was convicted, sent to the feds for stealing over $10 million of diamonds, cash and gold. Now, they only recovered $2 million of it. And between you and me, since I'm telling you my story, I had $8 million left. You have to lose a lot of money when you go to a fence, which is basically the people who move your diamonds for you. And I ended up with $5 million, which was never recovered. Now, me being the kind of fellow that I am, I always prepare and I stash that money in a certain place that I'm going to reveal to you as this story continues.

2:45 So I got sent to the federal prison camp Florence, which is also called FPC Florence, which is located in about like southern middle Colorado. So I was sent up there for 25 years. That's the sentence that I got. And I knew that I would have to do at least two decades of that. Now, I don't know about you, man, but if you try to put me in a box, I will not survive. I will go crazy. I will harm myself. I knew I had to break out of that prison.

3:13 So the first year, my celly was this like Hawaiian guy and he was pretty cool, but he kind of annoyed me. And I knew in order to break out and I already had my plan, which I'm going to tell you in a minute. I knew in order to break out, I couldn't trust this dude. He was just seedy. He was just a little bit scandalous. I could tell I couldn't trust this dude further than I can throw him. And with my bad back, I shouldn't be throwing anybody.

3:36 But then on one fateful day, I met someone really special. And that person was you. You too were sent to federal prison because you were the best car thief in the United States. You were Rembrandt with a Slim Jim. They called you the Van Gogh of hot wiring. You once stole three cars so quickly, the first two were still warm by the time the third one got to the chop shop. You once were being chased by the police helicopter and you did a 90 degree drift at 120 miles per hour through a 500 yard freeway on ramp just to create enough smoke to divert your escape from the police helicopter that was chasing you.

4:15 The papers even said that the CIA contacted you to head up their driving course. And here's exactly what you said. Fuck those clowns. I'm not going to teach those nerds how to drive like a fucking baller. And you too were sent to prison for 15 years. So we became close friends, you and me. The second we met, we just hit it off, man. We had the same sense of humor. We love to seduce women. We were both very good at our trade. Me being the jewel thief, you being the car thief.

4:43 We were like two peas in a pod. And you know what they say about prison? You can't trust anybody. Well, that's not true because I trusted you and you trusted me. We were best friends. We did everything together. We would hang out. We would play cards together. We would work out together. You knew boxing. I knew jujitsu and we taught it to each other and nobody messed with us. When it was time for rec, we would run together. We would play basketball together, soccer together, lift weights together.

5:11 We were closer than brothers. And one thing you guys will realize when you get good at seducing women is you will have that woman completely wrapped around your finger when she lets you into what's called her secret life. We have the life that we portray to the public, which is a false life. Then we have our real life, which is basically who we are behind closed doors. But then we also have our secret life, which is the skeletons in our closet that we only tell those people who are closest to us.

5:41 You and I became so close that we got into each other's secret lives. And you admitted to me first, I'm going to break out of this fucking prison. And when you said that, my jaw hit the floor because I was thinking the exact same thing. I can't do 20 years. I can't be stuck in this shithole with these guys' ball sacks and fucking hairy armpits flapping in the breeze and the waft going through my cell on a daily basis. Cannot happen. I need to get out of here.

6:08 And you had to get out of there too. So I began a very deliberate campaign to annoy my Hawaiian celly so that you could get in. I started talking too much. I started ripping massive farts when he was sleeping. I did all this weird shit. And eventually he was like, oh, cuz, I'm moving out of the cell cuz. You talk too much story, brah. I stay pal already. And by the way, for you guys who don't know, pal means finished in pigeon. So he moved out and you moved in.

6:37 Now the work starts. When you finally moved into my cell, we started that night. Because we knew having both of us looked at the plans of the prison, FPC, Florence, we knew that the top floor only had a crawl space above it. And if we could go through the roof, that's right, the roof. If we could tunnel through the roof of our cell, we could escape this prison. Most people escape through the wall or they try to go down. But how many CEOs, which means correctional officers, how many CEOs actually look up?

7:10 Not many. So we had a plan in place. We knew we were gonna burrow through the ceiling. Once we got into the crawl space, all we had to do was break out of a metal grate. Then we could repel, that is make rope and repel off the side of the building, escaping this prison. So we got to work. We started having perfect behavior. We started buttering up the CEOs. We started making friends everywhere we could. We were the ideal inmates. And eventually, I finally got myself assigned to the maintenance shop and you got yourself put into the art class to do some art.

7:45 We pretended that's what we really wanted to do. But of course, we had nothing but the intention to break out of this prison. So as I started working at the maintenance shop, I used my seduction skills on one of the ladies who worked there. There was a man and a woman. I became fast friends with both of them. They really trusted me. So they gave me lots of extra jobs. Well, what they didn't know is that I was suitcasing metal files out of that shop, suitcasing nails out of that shop, and suitcasing little tiny saw blades out of that shop.

8:15 Now, you're wondering, what is suitcasing? It's your prison pocket, bro. Your butthole. I got a PVC pipe, some Vaseline, filled that shit with nails, and right up the butthole. Fortunately for me, there wasn't a metal detector between the maintenance shop and eBlock where you and I were located. So I was able to get all these tools into our room. It didn't take long before at night, I was scraping on the ceiling, my arms burning as I continuously scraped the concrete off the ceiling as you sat next to the cell bars looking for any CEOs passing by.

8:50 When they passed by, we'd quickly get into bed. We also hung up some sheets on the cell bars to cover up what we were doing. But every morning before first count at 530 in the morning, you would take a piece of cardboard, you'd paint it black to match the ceiling, take some of the remnants of the concrete that I had scraped off that night, and sprinkle it in there. And you would paste it up to the top of the ceiling, covering the work that we were doing.

9:17 Now, that begs the question, where did you put the concrete? We flushed it down the fucking toilet. So we took every little concrete chip, flushed it down the toilet, or put it into our pockets and took it out to the rec yard and just scattered it among the other dirt in the recreational yard, which I think happened in Shawshank Redemption, but it happened in this story as well. So every night we would work, scraping as you watched. I would watch as you would scrape. We would trade shifts.

9:44 And we started to get a pretty substantial hole. Now, the most insane thing was, and I have to reiterate, this is a true story, is there was the head of a sledgehammer, a 12-pound head of a sledgehammer, holding open a door in the maintenance shop. So I'd look at that thing every day, and I'd be like, do they even know this thing is there? This place is so freaking lax. I don't even think they know. So I replaced it with another sledgehammer that actually had the handle on it.

10:10 I put it in my pants. I walked past the guard and got that thing into our cell block. Then that night, that very night, we hit rebar. Rebar, of course, are those metal poles that are in reinforced concrete. And this is where the files came into play. We hid the 12-pound sledgehammer head underneath our bed, hoping our cell wouldn't be searched during that three-week stretch. But as I was scraping through the rebar with those files, which took days upon days upon days, it was so tedious.

10:43 And you would have to wait for certain noises in the prison in order to get really scraping. One night, we had a huge thunderstorm in Florence, Colorado, and we broke through all the rebar that night. Then finally, it was just a matter of actually breaking through the reinforced concrete into the crawl space above, and that's where the 12-pound sledgehammer came in. During a night where there was a lot of noise, actually, one of our friends, we had him make some noise. He was screaming and yelling.

11:12 I pounded out that hole, and suddenly, we had a man-sized hole above us in the ceiling above our bunk. That morning, of course, you got to work patching it up, making it look almost indistinguishable. From the black ceiling that was above us. Now that we had the hole, we needed somebody on the outside. I knew from all my experience that it's pretty easy, or at least doable, I should say, to break out of the prison itself, especially a place like FPC Florence, because it's a low-security prison.

11:45 It's still hard to break out of, but it's low-security. I still knew that for the vast majority of prison breaks, they get picked up within a week or two of breaking out. The reason that is is because they didn't have a solid plan, and they didn't have help on the outside, and this is where Carol comes in. Carol was a 43-year-old divorcee. She was probably like a six. You know, she kind of had some, like, thinning blonde hair. You could tell she was pretty decent in her younger years, but she's no longer a spring chicken, man.

12:14 Her years have passed her. You could tell she's kind of depressed. She was working in the nurse's ward, so I knew that she had to be my target. I knew, gentlemen, that without someone's help on the outside, we couldn't make this happen. We needed somebody to team up with us, and what I wanted Carol to do was to drive us over the border. So I knew that I had to use my seduction skills to seduce her, because, of course, man, just like you stole three cars so quick, the first two were still warm by the time you got the third one to the chop shop.

12:44 Well, I seduced three women so quick, the first two were in love, before the last one even uttered her name. So I knew I had to use these skills on Carol. Now, guys, when it comes to seducing a woman in this respect, if you're going to see her over and over again, what you need to do is run a campaign, and that's exactly what I did. The first week or two, I complained that I had leg cramps, and I needed to see the nurse in order to remedy them.

13:11 It was something that was kind of nebulous, something that would require more visits, and something that's actually true in my life. Leg cramps, especially when you sleep, fucking suck. I've since fixed them, but I have struggled with them. So I went in the first time complaining of leg cramps, and I was simply polite. I was simply a joy to be around. I made sure I had good energy. I made sure I talked to her with authority, but I was nice. I was polite. How's your day going?

13:38 Thank you very much. I differentiated myself from the rest of the inmates. Then I would go there again saying, hey, I need to see her again. And I'd go in, and I remember the first time I kind of broke her out of her shell, I told her the pirate joke. The pirate joke is simply, what's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? And the person always says, arrr. And then you'd say, you'd think so, but it's the C. And that made her laugh. So I'm finally starting to get a little laugh out of her, starting to loosen her up a little bit, but we're not rushing this thing.

14:08 A woman is like a flower. If you try to force open the petals of a flower, she will reject you. So we're doing the long play, boys. We're taking our time. And that's exactly what I did. Then I started telling her stories about what my life was like on the outside. Encourage her to tell me some stories. I ran the cube on her. And if you don't know what the cube is, look it up. It's really important. She finally admitted to me that she was recently divorced.

14:33 And I actually saw a little tan line on her finger. And the ring had since been removed. So I asked her, like, what happened with that? What's going on? And she told me and started confiding in me about the struggles with her husband and how he didn't pay her enough attention. I knew that the way to get this girl was to give her the attention that she didn't get on the outside. Now, remember the part where I told you about the fake life, real life, and secret life?

15:00 We're going to get to that in a second. So I started listening to her. I started asking, well, what didn't he do for you? And then I did a seduction technique, which is telling girls what they're attracted to. And one day I said, you know what you deserve? You deserve a man who's confident, who leads you to where you want to be led, who's in control but not controlling, and who just makes you feel special again, who makes you feel adored. And if I'm honest with you, do you mind if I say this?

15:28 If I'm honest with you, every time I come in here, you are such a sight for these weary eyes. You are beautiful. In fact, we have a little bet out in the pod. You know what? I'm not, I don't want to tell you about it. It's kind of embarrassing. And she'd be like, no, no, I really want to know. I'll be like, I'll tell you next time. And this is called an open loop, gentlemen, not completing a story that's going to build intrigue inside of her.

15:51 So the next time I'd come back and she'd be like, so you were telling me about you guys having a bet? And I was like, yeah, you know, I bet that all these guys think that you're the prettiest girl in here. A couple other guys think that Jane is pretty too. But I was right. I knew that you were the prettiest girl and all the guys agree. And she's like, I'm not pretty. And I'm like, yeah, you are. You need to give yourself more credit. Then I started building more trust with her.

16:15 She started telling me her dreams. And I finally found the dream that I could leverage to get her to help us escape. And that dream was she always wanted to live in a log cabin on a lake in the forest. So I started nurturing that dream, telling her to tell me more about it. What would the perfect situation be? And she admitted to me that she would love to live in like Montana, Washington, or like Canada, Alaska, and just live in a log cabin, live off the land, not have to worry about anything.

16:47 Then when she told me that story, I reached over, grabbed her hand and squeezed it. And I said, you'll have that one day. I just know that's going to happen for you. You will have that. And her eyes lit up. Then every time I came in, her eyes would light up a little more. I'd run some techniques on her like strawberry fields, which you can go look up. The cube, the pig. I even did handwriting analysis on her until I noticed that not only were we touching a lot, but she was starting to get into my personal space.

17:16 She was starting to look at me with those puppy dog eyes, looking from eye to eye to mouth to eye to eye, the triangle, which tells me she wants to be kissed. Then when I had her on a super high note, I reached over, put my hand behind her hair, up her neck, grabbed her close, and kissed her. And that kiss was like fireworks, boys, because I put everything into it. My freedom was at stake, gentlemen. I had to be the master seducer. Then that night, she called me back to the nurse's station.

17:48 She had everybody else out of there. So I laid her down on the nurse's table, took down her panties, and gave her the best cunnilingus she's ever had in her life. Then I slowly crawled up on her, entered my penis into her, looked her deep in the eyes, and started pumping, slowly but surely, making out with her, making her feel that lust, that attention, that desire that she's been without for so many years. Then we started doing some freaky monkey sex, turned her around, was getting her doggy style, just running it like a fucking champion.

18:26 I gave her six orgasms that first night, gentlemen, and she couldn't get enough. Night after night, she called me in. And eventually, I was like, yo, Carol, we need to slow this down. Like, people are getting suspicious. She's like, I don't care. I'm just so in love. And I was like, whoa, dude. She's in love. If I can get into her secret life, it's time for me to tell her about my prison escape. So I asked her, I was like, Carol, I just need to know about you.

18:52 I just want to know. I'm a criminal, and I feel so guilty about it. I can't believe I'm in this prison. Have you ever done anything that would be considered a crime? And she confided in me, boys, that when she was 21 years old, she stole a car, just like you, brother. And she probably admired you because you're Rembrandt with a Slim Jim. So she confided that in me, and I finally knew I had her exactly where I wanted her. So I confided in her, I'm going to break out of this prison.

19:23 I have $5 million hidden in Canada. I'm going to go to Canada, and I'm going to buy a log cabin on a lake, and I'm going to live there for the rest of my life. Come with me, Carol. And she pondered it for only a millisecond, gentlemen. And she said, yes, I will. So now we got outside help roped into this caper. So I came back to the cell, and I'm like, homie, dude, I got her locked down, bro. She's going to help us. Not only is she going to give us $1,000 each, which she did.

19:54 Not only is she going to give us street clothes, which she did. Both of us a pair of jeans, black shirt, black jacket, which, of course, I wore under my jumper from the nurse's station back to my cell the night she gave it to us. But she's actually going to pick us up. We had a place to meet 10 p.m. on Wednesday at the cemetery, and she was going to drive us to Canada. We had it all set, boys, because, again, those who get caught almost always get caught in the same town that they escaped from.

20:24 And the worst thing you could do is walk along a road, because cops are obviously looking for escaped prison inmates that are walking on the road. I can't believe some of these people do this. They escape. They get tired of being in the forest, and then they start walking on the road. You idiots. Don't ever do that. So the day came, gentlemen. We were going to meet her right after night count, which was at 10 p.m. Morning count was at 5.30 a.m., so we had seven and a half hours.

20:51 Now that begs the question, which I know you're asking, well, what about the CEOs that come through the cells and check you to see if you're still in there sleeping? You, being the genius that you are and being in the arts and crafts room, got some paper mache and made heads out of them. Then what we did is we went to the barbershop, and we stole hair that was on the floor, again, another true story, brought it up to our cell, and pasted it onto those paper mache heads, drew some eyes, drew some ears, made it look as realistic as possible, put them into the bed with, of course, a bunch of towels and other sheets to make it look like our bodies, and we legit looked like we were still there.

21:32 We had seven and a half hours to get to Canada in Carol's car. Now, Carol already asked for a few vacation days. She was going to visit her mom in Nebraska. So when the police realized that we were gone, she wouldn't be suspect, or at least if she was, she had a reason to be out of town. So at 10 p.m., right after final count, we put the mannequins in our beds. We removed that cardboard from the hole, and up we went. In the crawl space was hidden our rope that we made with sheets and sheets, and we actually weaved in dental floss, which increased the tensile strength because prison sheets are really thin.

22:11 And we made 30 feet of rope to get down to three stories. Each story is about 10 feet. We needed 30 feet of rope. So we get into the crawl space. We have our new clothes on. Our mannequins are in our beds. The only thing that's still there is a hole, but they're probably not going to see it because the sheets are hanging over the bars, which really we're not supposed to do. But the guards were lax, and they let us do it. We knew that we had until 5.30 a.m., which was more than enough time to get close to the border.

22:39 So we get in the crawl space, and we get out, and I remember that moment, boys. It was a full moon. And I remember looking up at the moon the first time I've seen it in a year and just breathing in that freedom, knowing that I made the right decision. So we tied our rope to a metal piece coming out of the roof, and having done some recon in the days and weeks before, we knew the right wall to go down. You went down first, made it perfectly down.

23:05 Then I came down, and the second my feet hit that dirt, I felt like the freest man in the world. It was the best decision I've ever made. We didn't want the rope to be sitting along the side of the building. So we tied a little rock to it and hucked it back up, and it made it back up there with perfect precision. Hopefully, nobody heard it. Now, our plan was to meet Carol at the cemetery. So we crossed the freeway when nobody was on it, ran to the cemetery, and there she wasn't.

23:35 She wasn't there. She wasn't there at our meet time, which was 10, 20. And we knew she should have been there. We knew we were right on time. Where the fuck was she? We're not seeing any headlights anywhere. We're not seeing anybody coming to get us. We wait five minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and you said to me, Dude, she's not coming. We got to go to plan B. Plan B involved using your skills as the world's best car thief. So what we did is we went into a creek called First Alkali Creek, and we went up towards the town of Florence.

24:08 Now, what a lot of people don't know is that when dogs are tracking you, they can't track you in water. And this was part of my plan for my plan B. What we did is we crossed the creek, then we went up the creek in the opposite direction we intended, back into the creek, and then we came back going the way in which we did intend through the water in which dogs can't track. We knew that eventually they would get our tracks up the river, but at least this might buy us a few minutes, if not luckily, a few extra hours.

24:39 So we went all the way up that creek into the town of Florence and went straight to Home Depot. That's right, boys. The second you break out of prison, you got to go to Home Depot. So we go to Home Depot, and we purposely wanted to steal one of those moving trucks that's in a fleet of moving trucks. Why would we do this? Why wouldn't we just steal some Toyota Corolla that's on the side of the street? Because eventually, and very soon, somebody's going to discover that their Toyota Corolla was stolen.

25:08 Whereas if you steal a car from a fleet, and this is my layman's opinion, I know if it's true, but if you steal a car from a fleet, then they probably won't discover it for hopefully a couple of days. There was at least 25 different moving trucks out there. We stole the one that looked like it wouldn't be missed, but still looked mechanically sound enough to get us down to Mexico. Mexico, you say? I thought you were going to Canada. Can you ever trust a woman in love?

25:35 Of course I told her we were going to Canada when the entire time we were going to go to Mexico. That's where my money's hidden. Do you know anything about me? I hate the fucking cold. I'm not going to go live in Canada next to some lake and spend eight out of 12 months freezing my ass off. Hell no. I told Carol that because I knew there was a chance she was going to do exactly what she did, which is chicken out at the last moment and probably the next day tell the cops what is what really happened.

26:02 So we had seven and a half hours to get down to El Paso, which is a straight shot from Colorado. Colorado through New Mexico into El Paso and then over to Juarez across the border. So we get to the home depot parking lot and you're like, all right, bro, I'm going to go grab that one. I'm like, cool. I'm going to look out. So I'm looking for cars and suddenly you just pull up with it. And I was like, dude, how'd you do that so quick?

26:26 You're amazing. And you're like, bro, the door was open. And I'm like, okay. And you hotwired it and we're out. We took the highway over to 25 and bam, we were on the road. Now that begs the question, why not switch the license plate? Well, you're a smart motherfucker. As we're going down the road, we're paying attention to rest stops, looking for a truck that looks like our truck because we're going to switch license plates, preferably with a New Mexico license plate. Well, luck was on our side that night.

26:53 We finally get to a rest stop where there's a truck just like ours, not a Home Depot truck, but close enough so that if a cop analyzes the license plate, it's going to come up as generally the same make and year as the truck we stole. Switch license plates, bam, we're back on the road. Every gas station we went to, we had to put on the fake mustaches that we made with the hair pubes that we found in the barbershop at the prison. And it was the most disgusting thing I've ever done.

27:21 So I tape on this mustache. And as I walk through the door, I duck a little bit just in case the cops see the footage from the 7-Eleven knowing my height is 6'2". Just a little duck to make sure that they don't see who I really am. Go in there, buy sunglasses, a bunch of Gatorades, a bunch of junk food. We are free, motherfucker. And now you were sleeping in the back as I drove and then we would switch. You would drive as I slept in the back.

27:47 Why is that? The cops are obviously going to be looking for two guys. Maybe they did discover that we escaped, even though it was just 3 in the morning. And technically, they shouldn't know yet because morning count happens at 530. They might know. So you don't want two dudes in a truck when they're looking for two dudes who just escaped from prison. And furthermore, you drive the speed limit. You have one hand on 2 o'clock, one hand on 10 o'clock on the steering wheel, and you drive the speed limit just looking like some schlep who's moving from Colorado to New Mexico and is of no interest to the police who are sitting on the side of the road.

28:21 We knew that if we got pulled over, we'd be screwed. There's no way around it. Maybe we could talk ourselves out of it, but we didn't have driver's licenses. We didn't have insurance. We weren't supposed to have this car. We had no paperwork. So what do you do in that situation? You follow the traffic rules. You be the gray man. Now, here's an interesting side note for those of you still listening. I think this is going to be my longest podcast ever. In New York City, they used to run drugs like this was back in the 80s.

28:49 They got away with it for like 15 years by running drugs that were stored inside a truck that was on top of a tow truck. And so we use that same kind of logic. It's like the gray man is the dude who's driving some Home Depot ghetto-ass moving truck. He's not going to be in a bright red car speeding. He's going to be just the guy who's moving across country. He's of no real interest. How often do cops pull over Home Depot trucks? Not often. They're not that interesting.

29:17 So if you have one guy in a Home Depot truck driving in the middle of the night, it looks like he's just moving. And the other guy is sleeping in the back, recharging his batteries, eating, and then we switch back and forth. We have those fake mustaches on. We bought sunglasses at the gas station the last time we were there. We were ready with our disguises. By six in the morning, 30 minutes after FPC finally discovered we had escaped, and that scene was hilarious. I heard about it later.

29:44 The guy's like, Mark, get up. Nothing. Mark, get the fuck up. Nothing. So he comes into the cell. He grabs the head, and he's like, oh, my God. And he looks up, and there's a big-ass hole in the ceiling. And goodbye. Sweet dreams. You'll never see us again. Peace out. Then Carol gets interviewed the next day at like nine, and she's crying like, oh, I was going to take him to Canada. He's going to Canada. I can't believe I did this. And she got locked up for six months, helping and evading convicts, escaping from prison.

30:16 She's lucky she didn't get more time than that. That Carol. Those women acting on their emotions. So finally, we get to Juarez, and we ditched that truck faster than you can shit or go blind. I crossed the border first. And during this time, gentlemen, you may not know this, in 2008, they switched border crossing policies so that even if you're going from America to Mexico, you still have to show your passport. But in 2005, coincidentally, when this whole thing happened, you didn't have to do that. All you had to do was walk across.

30:47 So I had my pube stash on. That smelled like a burnt taco that got shit on by a sumo wrestler. The most disgusting thing ever. I had my sunglasses on, my black jacket, jeans, and I'm walking across the border. But I knew the best way to do it would be to talk to other people as I do so. So I see three girls and a guy walking across the border. And I'm like, all right, boys, time to put my seduction chops to use. So I go up to the guy as we're walking.

31:12 I'm like, hey, bro, I swear I recognize you, man. Did you go to Woodbridge High School in Irvine? And he's like, no, I didn't. And I'm like, where'd you go to school, dude? Like, well, what's your last name? Did you ever play baseball? And I'm talking to this guy as we're crossing the border, looking like we're two friends. If the border patrol had already been told of our prison break, well, I'm just some guy with a weird puby looking mustache crossing with four of his friends.

31:37 And you did the same thing. You befriended a bunch of really hot girls, a bunch of cheerleaders, and they took you across the border. You and I were separate until we got to Honduras, which means crossing Guatemala and crossing into Honduras. Now, at this time, crossing into Guatemala was not easy. You did need paperwork, as well as from Guatemala to Honduras. So we illegally crossed through the forest, and eventually we got to Roatan, Honduras, an island off of Honduras, which I've actually been to many times.

32:09 It's a beautiful place. There, I had $5 million in cash, gold, and cryptocurrency dug in a tin, in the ground, in the random forest where I knew it would be there for life. Dug it up, kicked you $500,000. Now you're sitting there being like, yeah, right, dude, you would never do that. Oh, really? Did you guys hear the story about when my friend was on drugs? I got a small inheritance, and I gave him almost 50% of it. That's because I love my brothers, and I love you too, man.

32:42 I'm genuine, and I want you to have a good life. Your dream was always to go down to Argentina and seduce all those Argentinian babes. And the last I heard, you are in Buenos Aires. And me, I started some little podcast called the Unapologetic Man Podcast, pretending I'm living in Colorado, pretending my name is Mark Singh. But we all know now that that's not true. Just living my life off the $4.5 million that I stole fair and square, and using my seduction skills to enjoy and live out the rest of my life.

33:15 So gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I sure did have a lot of fun recording it. Can't wait to listen to the final product. And what I suggest you do is check out that other YouTube channel. I'm actually going to leave in the description what that YouTube channel was. I borrowed some of his stories. I borrowed a few of his pictures, so I sincerely appreciate it. But go check that out, man. Listening to these stories is super interesting. And I believe the title of the one that I mostly used, where they dug through the ceiling, was like six months to dig through the ceiling, one second to fall, because the guy actually fell off the rope, and he got super injured.

33:52 And his homie, when I talk about being loyal, his buddy who he escaped with didn't leave him. He pulled him into the forest, and they stole a car, and he was trying to take care of his boy. I think a lot of guys would have just ditched their friend, be like, sorry, bro. You got a broken leg and a broken clavicle. I'm out. But he didn't do that. And I wouldn't have done it to you either, brother. Again, guys, I hope you enjoyed this. I drop podcasts every Tuesday, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode.

34:21 What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review. You have no idea how much that helps me. Also, if you're struggling with women, and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below, and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.