5 Hidden Reasons She Didn't Get Attracted to You

0:00 Did you go out last weekend and you realized that some girl didn't get attracted to you? You're like, dude, why didn't she get attracted to me? I thought I was doing all this stuff right. It's because you didn't control the frame. You were way too outcome dependent. You're not comfortable enough. You have nerd mannerisms. And most importantly, didn't generate enough emotions in her. If you don't lead women through these four pillars of attraction, frame control, value, sexual tension, and qualifying, they can't get attracted enough to you to give you your phone number, let alone go on a date with you.

0:34 With the right approach, I believe that you can get any girl anytime, anywhere. The Unapologetic Man Podcast. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Happy Monday. I hope the weekend treated you well. Did you go out last weekend and you realized that some girl didn't get attracted to you? You tried to do some gambits. You tried to do what I speak about in this podcast, but it just didn't work out for you. If that happened to you, I'm going to give you five, probably more like seven or eight, because I always over deliver, reasons why a woman may have not been attracted to you.

1:11 You guys may notice, for those of you watching on video, that I am now adding a different camera angle. I'm recording it off my laptop, off my Zoom link. What's up, boys? Trying to make these videos a lot more engaging, a lot more interesting by doing better B-roll, by having different camera angles, by doing a bunch of different things. So that's why we got that new camera angle. If you haven't checked it out yet, I strongly suggest you do so. I am on YouTube and now I have video on Spotify.

1:39 Some of the other podcast apps like iTunes, et cetera, don't have video, but I think video is obviously the way to go. So check that out if you haven't yet. All right, boys, let's get into the content. So the biggest reason that she didn't get attracted to you, you guys should know this. If you've been listening for any amount of time, or of course, if you're in my three-month coaching program, it's because you didn't control the frame. If you don't know what frame control is, it's essentially who is leading the interaction.

2:06 If you're not leading the interaction, if you're not taking the masculine role, she cannot get attracted to you. I want to say that again because it's so damn important. If you're not controlling the frame in every phase of your relationship, she will not get attracted to you. Controlling the frame, once again, means you're leading the interaction. You are less reactive. You are less invested in it going well. She cannot control how you feel. You instead control how you feel deep inside of who you are. She's not controlling your state.

2:39 You're controlling your state. If she challenges you, you flip it on her. Showing her you really don't give a shit. You are outcome independent, which means you don't give a fuck about what happens. And most importantly, you want less than what she wants. So you're less invested in the conversation. You don't care what happens. But at the same time, you're there having fun and you're giving her emotions. So not controlling the frame is probably the biggest reason that she didn't get attracted to you. If you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about and you're like, frame control, what's that?

3:07 I have good news for you, sir, because this is the most important thing to seducing a woman. So go and listen to any and all my episodes with frame control in the title. Guys, I get emails all the time of people saying, oh my hell, I did not realize what I was doing wrong until I listened to all your episodes on frame control. Now I get it. Frame control is the single most important thing about attracting a woman. It is the backbone of your seduction and it absolutely blows my mind that some pickup artist coaches don't even teach it.

3:41 I'm telling you, it's like not teaching how to throw a baseball when you're teaching somebody how to play baseball. It's literally the most important thing, frame control. And I can literally name several coaches off the top of my head right now, some of which that you probably listen to who don't even teach it. But guys, I'm telling you, this is the single most important thing of attracting a woman. You have to control the frame in order for her to get attracted to you. So once again, if you don't know what frame control is, or if you need a rehash of it, go listen to any and all my episodes on frame control.

4:13 Just search frame control and my name, Mark Singh, M-A-R-K, new word, S-I-N-G, and you will learn all about it. Number two, didn't generate enough emotions in her. Obviously, boys, if you know anything about attracting women, you'll know that women's attraction for you isn't based on your resume that you list out. It's based on how many emotions you generate inside of her. She honestly doesn't give a shit about your 401k or how much money you make. You think that's what she cares about, but she doesn't. She doesn't care about what college you graduated from.

4:48 She doesn't care that you were in the acapella group. Here comes treble. She doesn't care about your past. She cares about the present and how you make her feel. Does she feel those emotions? Does she feel that excitement? Does she feel like she's a little girl again, pretending that she's getting married to a man and getting all these little girl emotions inside of her? That's what generates attraction. Now, a lot of you guys are like, cool. I understand that. It's not a logical thing. It's an illogical thing.

5:17 It's based on emotions. But Mark Singh, how do I generate these emotions? Well, what Liam, my podcast editor, and I have done is we have handpicked three different episodes for you, all three of which Liam is going to leave in the description below. Liam, please look at the spreadsheet with our podcast titles on it. I highlighted three different titles in yellow. Please go grab those titles, grab the link, and put it in the description. Guys, listen to this to learn how to generate emotions in women in the conversation when you're speaking to her.

5:49 These are called conversational gambits, routines, psychological tests, games to get her into her emotions, to get her attracted to you. So probably part of the reason she didn't get attracted to you is because you were boring. You didn't generate those emotions. You didn't make her feel like a little girl again. You didn't make her feel giddy, excited, uncertain, a little bit frustrated, wanting your attention, chasing after you, not able to fully have you. And this goes into my next one, boys. You were way too outcome dependent, meaning you wanted it to go well.

6:26 You did care about what happened. You wanted to grab that phone number so you could feel justified, so you could feel like she likes you, so you could feel confident in your game because perhaps you're too externally validated. I talk about it all the time. A masculine man gets all his confidence, all his validation from within himself. He says to himself, I'm the shit because I say I'm the shit. And she would be lucky to be with a man like me. And if you're not thinking that way, you may be telegraphing too much neediness in the way of needing her to approve of you, needing her to like you, needing her to be attracted to you and needing to get that phone number.

7:08 Many times we go into the interaction wanting it to go well, to justify to ourselves that we are attractive, putting the pressure on her inadvertently and completely unconsciously, and she could feel that from us. We're leaning in a little bit too much. We're smiling too much. We're trying to get a reaction. What did I say at the beginning of the show about frame control? I said that the person who's reacting the least, who cares the least, is the one who's controlling the frame. Well, if you go in there trying to get a phone number or trying to make her like you, what are you doing?

7:41 You're giving her the frame. You're giving her the power to control the outcome of the conversation. Well, that's the absolute antithesis. God, that's a hard word to say. I sound like Mike Tyson, antithesis of what attraction actually is. Frame control is leading the conversation. And listen to this, boys. This is really important. The person who wants the least in any interaction is the one controlling that interaction. Think about it. You want to hang out with your friend. He's kind of ho-hum about it. He says, oh, all right, we can go hang out.

8:14 And because you wanted to hang out more than he did, you defer to him for what he wants to do. And you say, well, what do you want to do? And he's like, I want to play video games. And you're like, okay. And you buy into his frame. The person who wants less is always the one who's in power. And the one who's in power is the one who's in the masculine role. You need to be in the masculine role in order for her to get attracted to you.

8:38 So when it comes to you being needy, you're not in the masculine role. In fact, you're taking on the feminine role. You want it to go well. You want her to laugh. You want the interaction to go perfectly. Therefore, you're putting yourself inadvertently in the feminine role, putting her inadvertently in the masculine role. And that makes her lose attraction for you because you need it to go well. The next one, boys, and this ties into being needy, is not being comfortable enough. And this is part of the reason in my three-month coaching program, we hold our guys to a strict standard to open at least 20 people a week.

9:15 The reason this is, is to get you comfortable speaking to women. I want you completely at ease as if you're talking to your best friend. Some of you guys are listening right now, just kicking it in your room, or maybe you're driving. Look at your body language right now. Look at the way you're sitting, standing, driving, whatever it is. You're very comfortable. You're not under threat. Well, what happens when we speak to a hot girl is we feel under threat because we don't want to get rejected.

9:43 And again, we want it to go well. So what happens is we start going into nerd mannerisms, which is what I call them. Kind of blinking too much, standing awkwardly, touching her in a weird way, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, acting like a female who's attracted, don't we? Then what happens is our adrenaline goes up and we can't fucking think in our feet. And this too is part of the reason you're boring, is because your adrenaline is so high, you're so worried about this going well, you're so intimidated by our hot looks because, by the way, you don't believe you're enough for a hot girl.

10:18 So you start acting like a nerd. You can't think of what to say. You go into screensaver mode and you become a fumbling fucking jackass. How do we overcome being stifled in this way? The way we do it is we get more and more exposure. The more girls you open, the more comfortable you get, the less it matters to you because the more girls you're talking to and the more at ease you become. The person who's more at ease in the conversation is the one who's controlling the frame.

10:46 So you want less. You don't give a shit about what happens. You're not reacting to her. She's reacting to you and you're very comfortable. It's just like you're talking to your best friend. It's no big deal. I don't give a shit if this goes good. I don't give a shit if this goes bad. It is what it is. When you have that vibe, you get comfortable and girls get attracted to you. Why? Because women are attracted to what women are attracted to. Let me explain. This is called pre-selection.

11:14 Pre-selection means when a woman is attracted to you, say, for example, you're married and you have a ring on your finger. When a woman has approved of you, other women will approve of you. It's a cognitive shortcut. Kind of like you in your derpa derpa state arriving to a stoplight as you're walking through the city and you're on your phone fucking texting, sending DMs to hot girls who probably won't even open them because you're saying the wrong shit. And let's be honest, your Instagram page isn't really that dialed in.

11:44 So you're standing there at the stoplight texting and everybody starts walking and you don't look up to see if it's a green light. You just start walking because as humans, we trust the decisions of others. If others say it's safe and they're in a group, then we trust it. Well, it's the same thing with women. Taking the time to see if a guy is attractive takes a lot of work, right? She has to get to know him. She has to see how he is. She has to deduce if he does have nerd mannerisms, if he is controlling the frame, if he is generating emotions in her.

12:15 Well, a quick shortcut is to see if other women are attracted to him. If other women are attracted to him, then he's attractive. Well, this works when you're just speaking to her one-on-one and she's never seen you with a woman at all. It works in the way of how comfortable you are. If you're comfortable around her, that essentially telegraphs that you're around women all the time because you're attractive. So being comfortable is a cognitive shortcut for her to know that you are around attractive women often and her hotness doesn't affect you.

12:46 Now, the next one, boys, and make sure to stay tuned until the end because I think you're going to like the final one that I'm going to give you. It's going to make you feel a little bit better. So make sure to stay tuned until the end. But there's a myriad of reasons girls don't get attracted to you. Obviously, I can't list them all out in one single 20-minute podcast episode. But here's a huge one. It involves the four pillars of attraction, frame control, value, sexual tension, qualifying.

13:13 I'm going to go through these very quickly, but I believe I've done an episode about it called The Four Pillars of Attraction. That too, I'd strongly suggest. In addition to the other three that Liam highlighted, I would also listen to last Thursday's episode about the Riz technique, this law of attraction technique that gets girls super attracted to you. Listen to that one. So you got some homework to do. You have to listen to frame control. You have to listen to the three episodes that Liam left for you.

13:40 You have to listen to last Thursday's episode and also go look for something called The Four Pillars of Attraction. If you don't lead women through these four pillars of attraction, they can't get attracted enough to you to give you your phone number, let alone text you back, let alone go on a date with you. So once again, the four pillars of attraction are frame control, value, sexual tension, qualifying. Frame control. I just told you about it. It's the person who's leading the interaction. Value, which is those three episodes you're about to listen to about giving her some conversational substance that will put her into her emotions and get her those giddy feelings that will make her attracted to you.

14:22 Sexual tension, which is what I always say is like blowing a Tinder bundle into flame that's just been smoking. This comes from bushcraft creating fires with like a bow drill set or like a hand drill set where you get a little ember and you put it into the bundle of Tinder. Then you blow on it and then it goes into flame and then you stick it into the fire pit to create the fire. Sexual tension blows a little bit of attraction into massive attraction by exponentially leveraging those emotions she felt via the gambits you used.

14:57 So initially we go in, we control the frame and we give value. We don't hit on them. We don't state interest. We're just extremely interesting. And of course we're controlling the frame. We're leading the conversation. We're giving her emotions. Then once she gets a certain amount of attraction to us, we start throwing in some sexual tension. Obviously I don't have enough time to go into a comprehensive lesson about sexual tension, but a quick question you can ask her that develops sexual tension very quickly is, why don't you have a boyfriend?

15:28 I bet it's because you're a bad kisser, huh? Then she starts explaining why she's a good kisser. Boom. You guys are not talking about sexual things. This is one way to develop sexual tension. And finally, the fourth pillar, qualifying. And this is one of the biggest things that a lot of guys miss. You have to make her work for you. You have to have a reason to be attracted to her. Oftentimes girls won't get attracted to you because they just sit there thinking, why is he talking to me?

15:55 Oh, it's because I'm pretty. He's not really interested in me. He just wants to get into my underwear. He wants to take my number. He wants to take me on a date. He wants to take my underwear off and he wants to take my sex. This is what girls will often think when you don't show her or give her the opportunity to game you. A qualifying question, for example, is what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Now she gets to work for you.

16:19 You get to have a reason to be attracted to her beyond just her looks. Now, obviously, guys, I'm throwing a ton of shit at you. This is going to warrant further education, all of which, of course, I teach in my three-month coaching program to a very deep level. My guys become assassins with the four pillars of attraction. And thus, they get girls chasing them, get girls attracted to them in the first conversation. Which, again, some of you may have had this weekend and you're like, dude, why didn't she get attracted to me?

16:48 I thought I was doing all this stuff right. But really, boys, there's probably blind spots you don't even know are there, which is exactly what my program is designed to identify. Your blind spots teach you how to get attraction on command. Now, the final one, boys, the one I told you about that you're probably going to get excited about or at least feel a little bit better is straight up, brother. You might not have been her type. Some women will just have a type and that's the kind of guy they want to go for.

17:15 Some girls like black dudes and that's all they want to go for. And they've, like, convinced themselves that that's it for them. Or some girls only like Asian dudes or super muscular dudes or dudes with certain vibes, right? Sometimes we just don't fit that vibe. Even me, boys, I don't get every single girl attracted to me. I don't. And I know it may sound like I can any girl, anytime, anywhere, but oftentimes it's just logistics. You just aren't her type. Or she just broke up with her boyfriend or she's a lesbian or a myriad of different possibilities.

17:48 This is why we never take rejection personally because we just don't know what her situation is. We don't know what her type is. You may just not be your type. Now, you may come to me and ask me, well, even if I'm not her type, Mark, based on your coaching, can't I overcome that? With time, yes, you can. I believe that you can get any girl, anytime, anywhere with the right approach, the right attraction, the right frame, and better yet, a campaign where you can have weeks or even months to work on her.

18:18 But a single conversation where she's convinced herself that she only likes really tall, corn-fed white dudes from Nebraska who play football and who are in the military, for example, and you're like a short Indian dude who doesn't meet that criteria, doesn't meet that archetype. It's going to be harder to attract girls where you simply aren't their flavor. We all have different flavors. I, for example, aren't attracted to certain girls. I don't like obese girls. I just can't do it. And I know a lot of you guys are agreeing with me.

18:49 But guys, listen to this. Some of you out there like obese girls. You're chubby chasers. You like to roll off twice after you've had sex with her. Not for me. Maybe for some of you, that's for you. Some of you guys have yellow fever. You're super into Asian girls. Or you're specifically into black girls, blonde girls. Or you're specifically into Mexican chicks, blonde chicks, whatever your flavor is. The same thing applies with women. Although it's a lot more nebulous. Like we can certainly get a girl attracted to us when we're not typically her type.

19:19 But in a first conversation, even though you might have everything right, you might not be her flavor. And it even happens to me, boys. As I said, I don't get every single girl I approach. But here's the thing. When I approach 20 girls a week or better yet, 40 girls a week, there's going to be a decent number that are attracted to me. That's why it's a numbers game. From quantity comes quality. So if a girl doesn't get attracted to you, don't take it personally, man. You might not be her style.

19:48 You might not be her flavor. She might be on the rag that week and just isn't feeling sexual. A tub of ice cream sounds better than speaking to you. Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend. Maybe she's a lesbian. Maybe she just got fired from her job. We don't know, boys. So to take it personally is fucking stupid. But generally speaking, if you can clean up those five things that I just mentioned, you'll get a lot better success. Let's go over them in no particular order.

20:15 You're not comfortable enough. You have nerd mannerisms. You didn't generate enough emotions. This is why I gave you those podcast episodes to listen to. Liam will leave them for you in the description. Please go click on those and listen to them. You'll thank me later. Next one is you didn't control the frame. The single most important one. Next one is you're too outcome dependent. You're needy. And there's subtle ways this comes out, like laughing too hard, getting too excited, digging hard for rapport like, oh, you went to that college too?

20:45 High five. I can't believe it. Oh, you majored in psychology just like I did. Oh my God. We're like best friends now. If you get too excited about commonalities, that shows you don't have options and it looks needy and try hard. The next one is you didn't deploy the four pillars of attraction, frame control, value, sexual tension, and qualifying. And finally, boys, you may just not be her type. And that is something you should not take personally. In fact, anytime I get rejected, it's kind of what I think.

21:13 Either A, she's an idiot for rejecting a champion like me, or B, I'm just not her type. There's nothing I could do about it. Move on. Next, please. All right, boys. So I hope that's helped you. Obviously, man, if you want to fix this shit, listening to podcasts probably isn't going to be enough. You need a program that goes deep into your unconscious belief systems, that holds you accountable, that gives you homework assignments, and where you can ride in a community of other like-minded men who are trying to get the same success you are, a brotherhood, which is exactly what we offer in my three-month coaching program.

21:47 If you're interested in that as well, the link is in the description below. I appreciate you guys listening. As a reminder, I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode. If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review. You have no idea how much that helps me.

22:17 Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below, and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.