Women Will Bait You, Then Label You Insecure: "BEWARE THE BRAG TRAP!!!"

0:00 We are going to talk about how girls are going to bait you to make you look insecure. They are going to purposely throw out lures. And if you take these lures, which are so easy to take, they are going to label you as insecure and lose all attraction for you. And guys who are high value, guys who pull women, do not do this single thing, bragging or trying to sell yourself to a woman. The second you try to sell yourself to a woman or prove yourself to her, she is going to lose all and any respect for you.

0:32 The Unapologetic Man Podcast. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I am back, baby. And some of you guys may not have even known that I have been gone for six weeks now. The last four episodes have been throwback episodes because I broke my hip. I can't go down on that girl. I got a bad hip. Totally broke my hip in a one-wheel accident. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to talk about it at the very end of this episode.

1:00 So if you want to see the x-rays of the repair they did, if you want to see some footage of me on my one-wheel, some footage of me in my office, including getting down to my basement today, hopping like a fucking idiot, as well as my incisions that's gnarly. So if you're queasy, I would suggest not watching it. But if you like that kind of stuff, it's pretty cool. You can handle it. You can handle it. I'm going to put that at the very end just to kind of give an update about what happened and where I'm at today.

1:25 But today, gentlemen, we are going to talk about how girls are going to bait you to make you look insecure. They are going to purposely throw out lures. And if you take these lures, which are so easy to take, in which so many of you guys have taken, they are going to label you as insecure and lose all attraction for you. Now, this is quite counterintuitive because what I'm going to explain seems very natural. You would think to yourself, as many other guys think to themselves, well, why wouldn't I do this thing that Mark is explaining?

1:57 Well, the reason you wouldn't do it is because it makes women lose attraction for you. And guys who are high value, guys who pull women, do not do this single thing. And that thing is bragging or trying to sell yourself to a woman. The second you try to sell yourself to a woman or prove yourself to her, she is going to lose all and any respect for you. There's this guy who goes to the nightclubs that I go to in Denver very often. And I see him out all the time.

2:25 Never talked to him because, frankly, I'm not interested. But here's what he does, boys. And tell me if you think this is high or low value. He wears a hat that says Ferrari on it, thus communicating that he owns a Ferrari. Do you think that's high or low value? You're right. You're a smart motherfucker. It is low value because it shows one thing and one thing only. He doesn't feel like he's enough without his car proving his value. And women sense this intuitively. If he goes into a nightclub trying to show off his Ferrari, dangling the Ferrari keys, or another example, telling her how rich he is or how successful he is, or how he's a lawyer, a doctor, a dentist, whatever profession you guys might have that you want to brag about.

3:11 If he goes in there trying to prove his worth to a woman, it essentially communicates that he doesn't feel like he's enough. A guy who feels like he's enough doesn't have to brag. Think about the guy who's really good at fighting. Do you think a professional UFC fighter has to go around bowing up on other guys, saying how tough he is and getting angry and trying to get in fights all the time? Maybe he did that in his younger years, but when he became a proficient fighter, the first thing he's going to do is try to avoid a fight.

3:40 The last thing he's going to do is talk about how he's a professional fighter, of course, unless he's insecure. But he walks around confidently, not needing to prove anything to anybody and certainly not needing to fight anybody to prove his worth because he's competent. From competence comes confidence, and women understand this intuitively. The guy who has a lot of money, like really has a lot of money, does he go around flashing his money? Some do because they're still insecure about their status financially, but those who are truly secure, I'm talking about the billionaires or the multimillionaires who have really worked on their inner psychology, they don't even talk about it.

4:20 In fact, it's been proven that the vast majority of multimillionaires drive Toyotas and Nissans because they're conservative and they're saving for their future, and they know that a car is a liability, not an asset. So they put their money into assets and they don't fucking talk about it. The person who's truly competent does not need to brag or prove it. And women understand this intuitively. So the second you go in trying to prove how great you are by talking about the things you do, the money that you make, the accomplishments you've had, the lower value you look.

4:54 Now, there is a way to do this via storytelling, which I'm not going to get into today, but you have to do it with some self-deprecating humor, and you have to do it in a way that doesn't look like you're trying to show off to a woman. So the next time you're talking to a girl, the last thing you want to do, brother, is try to sell yourself to her, improve to her how high value you are by bragging about what you do. Now we're going to go into the brag trap.

5:18 The brag trap is what women do quite unconsciously to try to get you to brag to them. They will ask you questions such as, what kind of car do you drive? How much money do you make? Are you successful? Why should I date a guy like you? Now, if you buy into it, you are doing what? You're buying into her frame. She put out a question, and as I've been talking about in recent months, you have acquiesced to her frame, thus bought into it, thus allowing her to control the frame.

5:48 What did I say in a recent episode? I said that you don't have to engage with anything that a woman puts out there. You could either ignore it or change the topic or reframe it, which I'm going to tell you about today. So she says, what kind of car do you drive? Even if you drive a Mercedes, the worst thing you can do is tell her, oh, I drive a Mercedes. Because even just by saying that, it's like you're trying to sell yourself to her. Even though you're really not trying to sell yourself to her, you're just stating a fact, it looks try hard.

6:16 Almost like a guy who walks into a nightclub with a super nice Rolex watch where he was told by the saleswoman, when you can't bring your yachts into the nightclub, this is the yacht you wear on your wrist. It's for insecure guys. And an insecure guy is going to roll in with that Rolex and try to show it to her by scratching his chin in a certain way where the Rolex is glimmering in the lights. Try hard, gentlemen. Guys who talk about how they're a lawyer or a doctor in the first three sentences, try hard.

6:48 Guys who talk about how ripped they are, how they have a six pack, or how much success they've had with X, Y, Z thing throughout their life, try fucking hard. If you do this, then you are more stupid than a suitcase full of assholes. I do not want you to do this anymore because it's going to get you blown the fuck out. So what do we do when a girl tries to tell us to sell ourselves to her? You guys know what you should do. You first of all, either ignore it, blow past it, or reframe it.

7:16 She says, what kind of car do you drive? Do you think you should tell her you drive the Mercedes even if you have one? No, because even if you just tell the truth in that way, it's going to look like you're trying to brag to her. So instead you say, yeah, I drive like an 87 Pinto with a brown door and a burrito decal on the hood. For some reason, every time I try to pick up girls out of that car, they just, they want nothing to do with me.

7:37 I don't get it. And you blow right past it. If she asks you how much money you make, guys, she is totally putting out a hoop that she wants you to jump through. She is totally and completely testing your ass. And if you jump through that shit saying, oh, I make like 150 grand a year, or oh, I'm a millionaire or whatever it is. Even if you are a millionaire, you cannot fucking say it. What I always say is money. Oh my God, I haven't made money in years.

8:03 Don't you know? I live outside in a cardboard box right in front of this bar. I don't even know how they let me in tonight. I just like snuck in. You do not try to sell yourself to a woman. She asks you, are you good in bed? What do you think you guys should do? That's right. You say, hell no, good in bed. First of all, I have a one inch penis. I call it the angry inch. Watch out, the angry inch is going to get you.

8:25 And secondly, for some reason, when I go down on girls, they don't like it. I like bite on the clit and I scratch really hard on the vagina. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I don't get it. No girls like me. And kissing, no girls want to kiss me after the first kiss. I do the helicopter tongue maneuver. I try to lick the little boxing bag in the back of her throat. For some reason, no chicks like it. She is going to know two things about you.

8:48 First of all, you're not insecure because you're not trying to sell yourself to her. And secondly, and this is the most important thing, boys, you have options. You have tons of girls in your life. How does she know this is true? Because you're not trying to get her. You don't care what happens. You're outcome independent, which is attractive, as counterintuitive as this all sounds. So the next time a girl tries to bait you into selling yourself to her, don't do it or flip the tables on her.

9:17 Last night, we were talking about this in the coaching call. And I asked the boys, what would you do if a girl asked you, why are you the prize? Why are you amazing? Why should I be interested in you? You can flip it on her, boys. Control the frame. The real question is, why are you amazing? What's so great about you? Or as my client Chris stated, if a girl says, oh, I'm the prize. You need to take me out and dine me up and spend lots of money on me.

9:46 What you would say is, oh yeah, why are you a prize? Why are you so great? Like, what are your qualities? And if she says something like, oh, I'm hot. So I'm a hot girl and that's why I have value. I would be like, in other words, your parents basically gave you genes that made you attractive and you think that's your self-worth? Like, did you work for that? No, you were just born that way. That's really where you're putting your self-worth? You're kidding, right? No, honestly, I know you're joking.

10:13 Honestly, what else do you have? Like, what's good about you beyond your looks? So if she tries to put out a frame, you can immediately counter that frame. And anytime a girl tries to get you to sell yourself to her, you boys know this, you absolutely do not do it, even if she baits you. She could be like, oh, I saw you pull up in that Mercedes. It's really nice. What kind of car is that? Be like, that wasn't me. You must've been somebody else. I pulled up in the 87 Pinto with a brown door and the flamingo decal on the hood.

10:42 I don't know what you're talking about. Blow past it. Now that begs the question, what if it's an innocent question? And she's like, oh, what do you do for a living? And she's just trying to have a conversation with you because you guys have to understand that tonality is oftentimes 90% of communication. There's a lot of difference between, so what do you do for a living? And oh, so what do you do for a living? It's in how she says it, which will dictate how you react.

11:09 If she gets you to try to brag or sell yourself to her, you blow past it, you make a joke, you don't fucking answer it. If on the other hand, it's a really innocent question and she's just trying to get more information about you, then you can answer it, but I'll typically answer it in a funny way first, then the truth. Or as I often teach, the three-part answer. When she asks you, what do you do? The first part answer, as a lot of you guys know, is funny.

11:35 I'm an ass model. I'm a penguin valet. I'm a backflip expert. I'm a funeral hugger or I'm a sex doll tester. So she's like, oh, so what do you do for a living? Real innocently. I'd be like, yeah, I'm a sex doll tester. I go out and test all the sex dolls and I was actually kind of surprised they hired me because I only have a one-inch penis and I can hardly penetrate the things, but they gave me the job, so that's what I do. I'm a sex doll tester.

11:58 Nah, just kidding. I'm actually an NLP coach. Do you know what NLP is? She says no and then I go into the story about how I became an NLP coach and this goes into what I was talking about storytelling. You can brag about your exploits, but it has to be wrapped up into a story where there's also some self-deprecating humor and or a story of you persevering through adversity. So for example, in my case, I used to have anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia and because I found NLP, I was able to rise above it.

12:30 Now I'm an NLP coach and I help other guys do the same thing, which is a much more humble and better delivered message than, oh yeah, I'm an NLP coach. I remap guys' brains to be confident and I'm super successful. I have thousands of clients over the last few years. I have the biggest podcast about men's dating on the entire internet. Like Spotify and iTunes is blowing up. Between you and me, boys, YouTube is absolute junk, but Spotify and iTunes are absolutely blowing up and yeah, I'm super successful.

12:59 I'm a dating coach for men. That kind of shit makes them lose attraction. So always, yeah, you're trying to tell her those things about yourself, but you do not do it in a way that attempts to sell yourself to her. You do not get baited into selling yourself to her when she tries to throw that bait out there and as time goes, let the truth reveal itself. One thing I always say is the truth always reveals itself in time. So yeah, maybe you do have a sick Mercedes AMG and you're a multi-millionaire real estate developer.

13:32 But in the first conversation, you were like humble about it. She's like, what do you do for a living? And you're like, I'm a penguin valet. When penguins fall over, they can't get up. So I run around at the zoo and I pick up penguins. Otherwise, they'll die. Ha ha ha. No, actually, I'm a real estate developer. It's pretty cool. And then you tell a story, perhaps about how your dad was a real estate developer. You were really motivated by it and now you're one too.

13:53 But you don't go in any direction that attempts to prove how good you are because that looks try hard. It's a balance, boys. Anytime you're talking to a girl, think to yourself, am I coming off try hard here? If I am, I'm going to back it down a little bit and I'm going to work on delivering the truth in a way that seems humble as well as a little bit self-deprecating. And what I mean by that is this. One time, and this is a true story, my buddy and I were surfing.

14:21 He caught a wave outside and he was riding it and suddenly he stopped and got launched off his surfboard. He came up screaming, shark, I hit a fucking shark. Now, whether or not it was a shark, I don't know to this day. I will say where we were surfing in Hawaii did have a big trench right next to where we were surfing. It was called Alamoana Bulls and there were sharks known to be there. So during that time, I was scared shitless but I had to go get my friend.

14:48 So I was like pissing down my leg, terrified shaking. I paddled out to him, grabbed him. We went in and he was fine and he swears to this day he hit a shark. Now, that shows a lot of high value things. I surf, I lived in Hawaii, I'm willing to save my friends when they're in trouble but there's also the self-deprecation. I peed down my leg, I was really nervous, I didn't want to go out there and that balances the bragging but the bragging is still there.

15:14 Outright bragging, on the other hand, just looks like that. Oh yeah, I lived in Hawaii. I used to surf at this place called Bulls. I was actually a Japanese translator on a cruise ship. Yeah, I speak fluent Japanese because I lived in Japan for four years. I taught English, I did weddings out there. Yeah, I'm pretty fluent. Anyway, today I have a super successful podcast. I'm a dating coach and have thousands of clients. It's like I'm killing it and guys will literally do that. I'm going to tell her all the same things.

15:39 But I'm going to do it on my own schedule, not being baited by her trying to get me to brag about myself to her. And I'm certainly not going to do it in a way that just brags. I'm going to deliver it very carefully. I'm going to let the truth reveal itself in its own time. And when she tries to bait me to brag, I am going to avoid it, flip it on her, make a joke and self-deprecate myself, thus proving that I know that I'm enough.

16:06 I don't need to sell myself to you because I have tons of other options. And I'm not going to fall into your bait trap. That's going to make you think that I'm insecure. So guys, never sell yourself to a woman. Let the truth reveal itself in its own time. When you are going to do something that is considered to be bragging inside a story, make sure there's some self-deprecation, make sure there's humility. And that's when girls are going to get attracted to you because they will label you insecure if you brag too much in that first conversation, the first date and beyond.

16:38 Gentlemen, I super appreciate you listening. By the way, because I had some time over the last six weeks, I had my guy Tyson do a facelift on my website. I put up a bunch of new testimonials and he's from Australia and he's like, mate, too many testimonials. We got to make a second page. That's the most horrible Australian accent I've ever done. I need time to warm up. But we had so many testimonials, boys, that we actually had to make a second fucking page of testimonials.

17:03 Hundreds upon hundreds of testimonials attesting just how effective my three-month coaching program is, how effective the very NLP that I used on myself to get over my anxiety is being used to remove belief systems, traumas, and anxiety in my clients. And all those testimonials are on my website. If you want to check it out, just click the link in the description below. After my little call to action that's going to happen after I wrap up this episode, I will have that explanation about my crash on my one wheel.

17:32 Pretty interesting stuff. And if you want to see some pictures of the x-rays, as well as me jumping down my stairs like a fucking idiot coming down to my basement, as well as possibly a few other things, stay tuned. And guys, come next Tuesday, I have an absolutely awesome episode to drop on you. I really want you to hear it. So gentlemen, thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next episode. What is up, brother? Just wanted to thank you sincerely for watching this episode.

17:59 If you've gotten any value whatsoever out of my content, the single best way to help me is to like, comment, subscribe, leave me a review. You have no idea how much that helps me. Also, if you're struggling with women and you want to talk to me personally about how I can help you achieve your goals with women, sign up for my three-month coaching program below and you and I will talk. Join us in the unapologetic army. All right, guys. So basically on January 3rd, I was riding my one wheel and a one wheel is an electric skateboard.

18:31 I don't have any footage beyond when I was Jesus for Halloween, so I'm going to have Liam put that in and I made a cloud out of my one wheel. So that's a one wheel right there. If you're listening on audio, it's an electric skateboard. It's like a Segway, but it's a skateboard. So I'm ripping my one wheel and I'm listening to Suicidal Tendencies, which of course, if you're listening to that, you got to be fucking ripping. So I'm ripping and I'm going to have my cheat meal.

18:55 Once a week, I go to Chiba Hut to have one of their sandwiches and in this case, I was going to go get a meatball sandwich and this place is like an hour and a half from my house on the one wheel. Like these things can go far. I've actually ridden it 70 miles in one day and so I'm ripping along. I'm listening to Suicidal Tendencies, Trip at the Brain. Yep, that's the song and I'm so fired up and I'm ripping and I come around a corner to kind of like go up this hill and there's a dude walking towards me who sees that I'm kicking ass.

19:27 So obviously, he gives me the devil horns and he's like, yeah, bro, you're killing it. I give it back to him and because of my ego and this is so embarrassing, I'm like, dude, I'm going to rip up this hill. I went to go up the hill and what happened is basically when you put too much pressure on the board, the motor can't keep you upright. So it basically dives. It did a nose dive. So I'm going probably 22, maybe like 25. I was fucking shredding and basically a nose dove and launched me off the front and I smacked right into my hip.

20:00 So I'm laying on the ground and I'm like, oh, dude, this is really painful. Like, this is not good. I try to stand up. The dude came over and helped me and by the way, I'm going to go see him. Marissa took his phone number and I'm going to give him and his buddy two $100 gift certificates to Chiba Hut because they really helped me out. So they're helping me and they like stand me up and my leg was like dangling all weird. Like my toe was all pointed inward and it was all jacked up and I tried to put weight on it and I was like, no, that ain't happening.

20:28 Lay me down. Lay me down. So I call Marissa and I was like, Marissa, I fell off my one wheel. I can't walk. And she's like, are you serious? And I'm like, yeah. She's like, okay, I'm coming to get you. She drops everything to come grab me and she laughs about this but I'm an idiot so I didn't know what I was saying at the time but she's like, it was so funny because you're like, I think I need to go to urgent care and she's like, dude, you need to go to the ER.

20:51 So I go to the ER, long story short, three hours of surgery. Here's a picture of the x-ray. They basically repaired the top part of my femur because it's called the femoral head that basically broke completely off. You can see by that x-ray. They attached it back together. Here's some shots of my incisions. This was basically a couple days after surgery and now actually on this day, Tuesday, it's been six weeks and I get to go try to walk again, I hope. So actually, while you're listening to this, I'm probably at the doctor and he's telling me whether or not I can be weight-bearing again which means putting weight on that leg which of course means I can start trying to walk again.

21:30 I haven't been in my basement. This studio that you see behind me is actually my basement. I haven't been in here in six weeks and so today, I went down. Here's some footage of me getting down the stairs. I got down the stairs, man, and it was just so great to be back in the studio, so great to be back behind the microphone and I super appreciate you guys. I hope you enjoyed the episode. Stay tuned for next Tuesday because now that I'm mostly healed and I can get down and out of the basement, I'm going to continue doing fresh podcasts every single week.

21:59 I got a banger coming up next week. You do not want to miss it. I'm really proud of this. Think about it, boys. I've had six weeks to collect ideas and to make the absolute best content possible and that's what I'm going to deliver next Tuesday. So super appreciate your prayers. Super appreciate your support. I'm good. I'll be fine. Tenacity is a superpower and I am definitely one tenacious MF-er, so I'm going to be good, boys. I'll be walking again and my goal is to be better than I was, which should always be your goal too.

22:28 So I'll see you guys next Tuesday. Super appreciate you and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.