What to do When a Girl Dumps You And Ends Your Relationship (The Breakup Episode)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. If this is your first time listening, welcome. My name is Mark Sing. I'm an NLP dating coach. NLP stands for Neural Linguistic Programming. In addition to teaching my boys the tactical aspect of approaching women, I also work on what's going on inside their heads with that neuro-linguistic programming that basically removes and replaces belief systems, deals with traumas, deals with archetypes, schemas, and metaprograms, and things like getting broken up with by a woman, which if you're listening for the first time and you were broken up with, you happen to find this perhaps via a Google search or a search on the podcast apps.

0:56 I do appreciate you listening. What I try to do in this podcast is deliver the highest quality content in the most succinct way possible because I know your time is very valuable. I know you could be doing a million other things, so I really want to deliver the goods today and tell you the proper approach to dealing with a girl who just broke up with you. Now, I'm going to preface this by telling you guys that perhaps what I'm about to tell you isn't what you want to hear because what I sense a lot of you guys want to hear is go chase that girl, go blow smoke up her ass, do her favors, beg for her back, and I'm telling you, brother, that is the absolute wrong thing to do, which may be the very reason you're here in the first place is because you tried that and it wasn't working well for you.

1:40 So the way I'm going to break up this episode is first let you know why possibly she broke up with you in the first place because it's usually just a few reasons. I've been doing this for a very long time. Not only do I coach men, but I also happen to have a lot of girlfriends, most of which are very attractive and very in demand. So I know the reasons that women break up with men. Then secondly, I'm going to tell you about what to do with your life to either A, get her back, or B, go get a new girl, which actually is my preference.

2:05 So I'm going to lay that all out today, gentlemen. Please focus and please stay till the end. Because I have a lot of really good information, some of which is going to be told to you at the very end of this episode. So while I know your attention spans may be a little short because that Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, try to really focus here because this is important. It freaking hurts to get broken up with by a woman. I have been there. Just so you know a little bit about me, the reason why I became a dating coach in the first place is because I was broken up with, but not broken up with, I was cheated on.

2:40 And I heard her having sex in her dorm room with another guy. Imagine the love of your life when you're a college kid is having sex with another girl in her dorm room. You know her voice, you know the sound she makes, and you're hearing that happening while, by the way, hearing his voice, and you're hearing it through the door of her dorm room. A lot of you guys are in deep pain right now. So you can only imagine. I can empathize with the pain you're in.

3:07 I literally fell to my knees, kind of funny now I'm thinking about it. I know it's not funny for you, but this is me. I fell to my knees. I crawled out of the fucking dormitory, got in my car, drove home at like 10 miles per hour. People were honking at me on the freeway and cried on the corner of my bed in the cannonball position for literally three weeks. I was literally crying, screaming her name. And my roommates are like, dude, are you okay, bro? Are you going to be able to get through this?

3:34 And of course I did. And that's the reason why I became a dating coach is because I wanted to figure out what I did wrong, started researching it. And I realized what I did wrong, which is probably what you guys did wrong too. So here are the typical reasons that women break it off with men. Reason number one, you are too damn needy. And this is what happened to me. I kissed her ass. I put her on a pedestal. I let her lead the entire interaction.

3:57 I was needy in the way that I needed compliments. I needed her to justify my self-esteem. I wanted to hang out with her way more than she wanted to hang out with me. And I simply pushed her away. And honestly, brother, if you two were cheated on, please forgive what I'm about to say. But if you were cheated on just as I was, it's probably your fault. And the reason I'm saying it's your fault is because you didn't know what you were doing and that's okay.

4:24 Forgive yourself. But it's your behavior that pushed her into the arms of another man. In my case, she was having sex with another dude because I was freaking needy, bro. I was a beta cuck. I supplicated to her like she was a princess. And I had to give her my ball sack and a little knapsack, handing it to her as I bow and defer to her greatness because she's the queen of all queens. If you do that, they lose respect for you, as I'm sure a lot of you guys have just found out.

4:55 So the first reason, again, is being too needy, being too thirsty. And this is going to work into why we're going to do what we're going to do. So please keep listening because what I'm going to tell you to do may seem counterintuitive, but it is the correct play. So the first thing is you're too needy. The other thing is, and this is less typical, you weren't there enough in the relationship. You were aloof. You didn't communicate well. She didn't feel like she really had that bond with you and she didn't feel like you listened to her.

5:21 You didn't understand her. She didn't feel like herself around you because you were off in la la land. Now, once again, this is less typical. And I will say you are less likely to be left by a woman in that situation where you are in kind of la la land and you're doing your own thing. You're not that attentive to her. You're less likely to be left in that circumstance than the circumstance I explained before, which is what I did, which is being too needy. The next reason, and this is probably the biggest reason, involves what's called frame control.

5:56 If you guys have never heard of frame control before, you need to go listen to any and all of my episodes that are about frame control. Because frame control is the single most important element when it comes to attracting, seducing, and keeping a woman invested in you. I don't have enough time to go deep into what frame control is on this episode because it's a very nebulous, deep topic, which is why I've done tons of episodes on it already. But I will say this, frame control basically means you lead the woman to where she wants to be led.

6:25 You want less than what she wants from the relationship, just slightly less. And I also explained that in my other episodes. And you are seated in your own reality. And basically speaking, you are not to be fucked with. So what happens with a lot of guys is they give the woman the power and let her lead the relationship. They start to supplicate to her. They start to defer to everything that she wants. And quite logically, because women will oftentimes be extremely annoying, as a lot of you guys are probably laughing right now because you know it's true.

6:59 They will nag the shit out of you until they get what they want. So in a relationship, oftentimes, the woman has more energy to put into it, doesn't she? Because women love relationships. They focus on it. When they hang out with their friends, they're talking about it. They're talking about you. And what they want is what they want. And they're going to nag the shit out of you until they get it. Well, certain men, specifically those with a weak frame, will just crumble and say, okay, I'm sick of hearing you complain.

7:24 I'm sick of all the pressure you're putting on me. So just take the power. And or the man in the relationship is simply weak in his own frame. So he gives her the leadership role because he doesn't know how to lead. And that is extremely unattractive. So what happens is a woman's dating a man. He has a weak frame, a weak sense of reality. Maybe he blows smoke up her ass, kisses her ass, and basically supplicates to her, lets her have the frame, lets her lead, and more importantly, puts her in the masculine energy.

7:58 Then she begins to lose attraction for him. That attraction she's losing for him compounds on itself. And before you know it, she's breaking up with you. And you're like, what the hell did I do wrong, man? I was like doing the best I could, which is what happened to me. In my case, I was giving her way too much of the power, kissing her butt, making her feel like the princess of all princesses, and being the follower in the relationship. Think about this, boys. The person who's leading the relationship is the one in the masculine energy.

8:30 Do you think a woman, a heterosexual woman who's feminine, wants to be in the masculine energy? Obviously not. This turns them off faster than if you're about to go down on a girl. You pull down her pants and there's a fucking penis there. How quick would that turn you off if you're heterosexual as I am and you want nothing to do with penises, bro? It was funny. This guy wrote me the other day. He's like, hey, Mark, I'm gay. Can you coach me? And I was like, sorry, bro.

8:55 I don't know how to teach dudes to attract other dudes. And while that's kind of funny, and of course I have empathy for guys who are gay, I don't get it, bro. I don't know how a dude could be attracted to another dude's dick. In my opinion, that's the nastiest fucking thing that ever existed, let alone, and I hate to get graphic here, a dude's butthole. How in the literal fuck can another dude be attracted to a dude's butthole? So when he wrote me, I was like, sorry, bro.

9:20 I don't know how to help dudes attract other dudes. But it's the same thing. When you act needy, when you act like a little pussy and a beta cuck, it is literally like the chick you're about to go down on turns into a dude. That's how quickly her attraction gets lost for you. And that's why she dumps you. All right. So we're in a situation now where you've probably done something like that. Either you were too needy, you were too aloof, or you lost frame, which is, in my opinion, the three biggest reasons women will leave men.

9:50 Okay. So what do you do now? First and foremost, brother, as I alluded to at the top of the show, do not try to chase her. Why? Because chasing her goes back to everything I just spoke about. It puts her in the masculine energy. And even if you were too aloof and not interested enough in her, you still don't chase her. Because now you're thinking, oh, well, if I just chase her, she's going to suddenly realize that I'm actually the right dude for her and she's going to get attracted to me.

10:18 You don't do that. And again, just so you understand why, it's because you're in the feminine energy when you chase a woman. We as men do not chase. We are independent. We are ensconced in who we are. We lead our frame. We believe in ourselves and we move on with our lives. And that's what you need to do. Now, immediately, I know a lot of you listening, specifically those who are hurting very badly, want nothing less than to move on. You want this girl back. I do not teach guys how to get an ex-girlfriend back.

10:48 But if I did, this is what I tell them. Move on, date other girls, improve yourself, focus on you, and she will come back if and when she's ready. And that is the only way to get a girl back is to let her go. It's very counterintuitive because instinctually you want to chase her. But women are a lot like the wind. If you reach out your hand and you try to grab the wind, thus making a fist, it goes around your hand. If you leave your hand open, which is an analogy for letting go, then you possess the wind completely.

11:19 And that's how a woman comes back. She broke up with you because there was something lacking in you almost all the time. Of course, she's not perfect either. I'm sure there was issues there and maybe it was a mutual thing. But in this episode, we're focusing on how a girl broke up with you. The reason that happened is because there was something amiss in your personality, in your disposition, in your leadership role, in your masculinity. So we have to now go work on that and she will pick up on it either via friends, via Instagram with the new pictures you're posting, Facebook, rumors.

11:53 And I'm telling you, they also pick up on it vibrationally. When a man goes and focuses on himself, improving himself, chasing after his ambitions, getting seated into his masculine energy and strengthening his frame, there is nothing more attractive to a woman. My buddy, Joe Liverman, who I started this podcast with, always had a great saying, if a girl breaks up with you, go date four more. And that is an excellent, excellent piece of advice because you need to move on. No matter how badly you want this girl back and you're sitting there thinking, oh, there's no girl like this.

12:28 She's the perfect girl. I'll never get another girl like that. My rebuttal to that is, if she's so perfect, why did it end in the first place? And secondly, can you please admit to me that you probably have a scarcity mindset and you didn't choose that girl from thousands and thousands of options. You probably got her from a very small pool of options. And part of the reason that you're so obsessed with her is because you have a scarcity mindset. You don't think you could go get a girl who's as good as or even better than that girl.

13:01 So you're pining after her because it's like that one girl that you actually got out of the sea of women. I'm talking billions and billions of women. You got this one precious thing that actually accepted you and you guys related. The sex was good and you don't think you could ever do it again. Bullshit. I am calling you out and saying that if you believe that it's an illusion, it is not true. It's scarcity mentality because you think you can't go get it again. But I'm here to assure you as a dating coach who has successfully helped thousands of men, 10 extra results with women.

13:36 There's not only another woman out there for you. There are multiple women out there for you. Dozens of them, hundreds of them, thousands, and yes, maybe even millions of them. So get out of this scarcity mentality where it's like, this is the only one girl and go date other girls. As difficult as that is to hear for some of you, in my opinion, it's kind of exciting because you get to go get laid. But as difficult as it might be for you to hear, that's the play.

14:02 You have to drop her, block her if you have to. Start improving your life. And if you want her to start seeing it and you guys are perhaps attached on Instagram, start posting pictures of your life on Instagram. You doing cool shit. You in the gym, work it out, improving yourself, showing pictures of your new diet, showing evidence that you're working on yourself with perhaps something like NLP and also dating other girls. And yes, you want to show those girls on Instagram. Not necessarily you making out with them or finger blasting them on some weird story on Instagram.

14:31 No, no, no. Just you hanging out with attractive women, preferably women that are at least as attractive as or better looking than the girl who just broke your heart. This telegraphs that you are improving yourself. You are becoming high value. It's going to get her interested. And I also really believe that vibrationally, she's going to pick up on that somehow. It happens time and time again, even if my clients aren't linked on Instagram or Facebook, and there's no way this woman can be seeing what he's doing or hearing through the grapevine of what he's doing.

15:06 For some reason, they always come back when he starts improving himself. And here's the irony. They always seem to come back when he doesn't need them to come back. So your job again is to stop focusing on her and start focusing on yourself. Start focusing on bettering yourself in any way possible. Pick up a new hobby such as weightlifting or in the case of my brother who too got cheated on because he was a beta cuck just like I was. He took up racquetball and became one of the best players in his college during that time.

15:34 You could take up hobbies where you meet new Pilates or join a cycle studio or anything where there's lots of women around. Begin improving yourself, working on what it means to have a strong frame such as going to listen to any and all of my episodes about frame control. Just type the word frame control in the search function with my name, Mark Singh, M-A-R-K, new word S-I-N-G, and all my episodes will come up about it. Study the shit, improve yourself, start building yourself up again to the level that your woman wanted you to be in the first place.

16:12 And as my boy Joe Liverman said, when a girl breaks up with you, date four other girls. So now's the time to get on the dating apps. Put yourself out there. Do cold approaches. Start talking to new girls. Start building a pipeline because when you're talking to four girls, I guarantee you, brother, you are not going to be nearly as heart sick as you were when that girl first broke up with you. So here's the play. Work on you. Forget about her. And I know that's the last piece of advice you want, but it's the right advice.

16:38 And that's why I know it's resonating with you on some level, no matter how much your conscious mind or perhaps more importantly, your heart is trying to deny it. You know it's true. If you chase after her, you're chasing her away, just like trying to grab that wind. The second you try to grab it, it goes around your hand and it disappears. Let her go and work on you. Start dating new girls. Get into a course like my course, my three-month coaching program where I guarantee that I will 10X your results with women.

17:06 That means more dates, more sexual interactions, hotter girls in your bed, which in my opinion is one of the best experiences you could ever have. So perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Perhaps you landing on this episode was meant to be and happened because she broke up with you, which would make it a good thing. Wouldn't you agree? Maybe you listen to a few more of my episodes, resonate with what I do and say, you know what? I do want to get coaching in this aspect.

17:32 Why did I chase her away to begin with? What did I do wrong? When you come into coaching, you understand female psychology and you'll have aha moment upon aha moment thinking, damn, dude, that's exactly what I did. Now I understand why I chased her away. Huh? This really makes sense. Won't do that again. And you get the superpower to attract women on command. Think about this as a final thought. If you could attract any woman you wanted, does that girl who just broke up with you suddenly seem less important, have less power over you?

18:09 Any woman you want, I believe she does have less power over you if you had that superpower to attract women on command. Why is that? Because oftentimes we get attached to a woman out of scarcity, as I mentioned previously. We think she's the only one. I'll never relate to a girl like this. No girl will ever suck my dick the way she did. Bullshit, brother. When you have abundance, you realize most women are pretty damn awesome. Not all of them, but most of them have something about them that is just amazing.

18:36 They can give you wisdom, knowledge, better experiences. The sex, when you've had sex with more women than you can count on two hands, then you start to realize just how good sex could get. You realize just how amazing some women are, not only in the bedroom, but also in a relationship. And you realize that that girl that had all this power over you wasn't really that spectacular. You just thought she was because it's like a hungry man getting a scrap of food after he hasn't eaten in two weeks.

19:04 He's going to think it's the best meal he's ever had. But if you're constantly getting high quality food, then you get to be more discerning and you understand what true high quality is. And then suddenly again, that girl, just as that girl who cheated on me becomes way less significant to you. Now, in my case, it was my fault that she cheated on me because I chased her into the arms of another man. And while I think she's a decent chick and it was fun to hang out with her, she cannot even hold a candle to the woman I'm currently with.

19:31 Not even a candle on looks, on personality, on ambitions, on the way I relate to her, her attitudes, everything. It's infinitely better. Had I not been broken up with, I wouldn't have gotten into this niche, learned exactly what I did wrong and how to attract women on command. And I wouldn't have met my dream woman who I am with right now. So me getting cheated on was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And if you can reframe it in that way too, then you have power over the situation rather than the situation having power over you.

20:06 Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. As I said, I have a three-month coaching program that turns men into bonafide girl magnets, 10xing the results guaranteed. And I will work with you until you get that result. There's absolutely no obligation to simply put in an application, talk to me, tell me about your situation, what happened with that girl, and let me know if you're ready to start dating new ones. Because while it sucks to get broken up with, dating new girls, especially when you can flip attraction hot switches on demand, it's pretty fucking awesome.

20:39 So rather than getting down, let's get excited, man. You have all these new opportunities waiting for you, and that's the right play. Go date new women. That's the only play when it comes to just being broken up with. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye!

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.