TOXIC MASCULINITY: WHAT A HORRIBLE LIE!!!!

0:00 My autonomy, they tried to steal it, but now I'll follow my own lead and learn to walk beyond those who have walked all over me. And I have found my voice through perseverance and left the choice to speak those words that have gone unsaid. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you.

0:38 And if you are in America, happy Thanksgiving today. This is a podcast that I've been thinking about doing for literally years. And only today did I wake up feeling inspired enough to deliver it to you guys because this is an extremely important topic. You as men have been attacked. You have been made to feel shameful, made to feel resentful, made to feel like you are wrong because you are a fucking man. And I am here, as well as several others in this space, to set the record straight because, brother, toxic masculinity is a freaking lie.

1:13 And we're going to talk about that today. And I want to leave you feeling comfortable and feeling proud for being a fucking man because, brother, it is something that you should be proud of. It is something that you should hold your head up high about, embracing your masculinity, embracing those instincts within you that have been developed over 200,000 years of evolution and not being shameful about it, not trying to hide it, not thinking that you need to be more feminine, but believing that, yes, brother, you are enough exactly as you are.

1:43 You are born a man for a reason. You have masculinity, testosterone, and even aggression inside of you for a purpose. And it's time to embrace it. Because this message to be shameful about being masculine, this whole toxic masculinity bullshit is exactly that. It's complete and utter BS. And the time has come to shift the energy in a positive direction, both for men and women, because this whole attack on masculinity is not only detrimental to men, but it's detrimental to women as well. We're going to talk about that today.

2:15 Before I jump into the content, I want to let you guys know, those lyrics I read before the show started were actually from a song that I have on my playlist, Mark's Lift Heavy Ass Weights on Spotify. I moved that song to the very front of the queue. So go check it out. Once again, it's Mark's Lift Heavy Ass Weights. Obviously, it's under my account, Mark Sing. But that playlist is specifically designed to get you into your masculine energy. And that song is literally one of my all-time favorite songs.

2:44 It's the song I heard in my mid-20s when I was suicidal, when I was depressed, when I was experiencing the same difficulties that a lot of men experience, partially because of this attack on masculinity. And when I read those lyrics, they completely resonated with me. I am going to follow my own lead. I'm going to learn to walk beyond those who have walked all over me, find my voice through perseverance, and leave the choice to speak those words that have gone unsaid exactly as I'm doing today.

3:11 So what I want you to do is go over to Spotify, especially when you're about to get into the gym, and be proud of your masculinity. Jack your testosterone on purpose and stop hiding it. I want you to listen to that shit and become just as pumped up as I am. Brother, if that doesn't make you want to do 150 push-ups, I don't know what would. That song is so fucking sick. It's one of my all-time favorite songs. And I also put my second favorite song, recently, it always changes, but my second favorite song is song number two.

3:41 Probably going to surprise you. It's not going to be what you think it is, but dude, when you listen to that shit, your testosterone is going to get jacked to 800. That is my guarantee. Speaking of testosterone, I just had mine tested and it came back at 813. I'm pretty proud of that. I work day in and day out to keep that testosterone level high because yes, being masculine, being a man is something that I'm proud of and it's something I want you to be proud of too.

4:06 Let's get into the content. So this term toxic masculinity actually started in the 80s with some novel. Somebody came up with it and it caught momentum. And now in 2024, it's a common part of the zeitgeist. People just throw it out there with not understanding what the hell they're talking about. Toxic masculinity is, of course, exactly as it sounds. It refers to aggressiveness, such as boys committing crime. It refers to sexual lasciviousness, which basically means men taking advantage of women. It refers to men fighting, men being assholes, men being aggressive in traffic.

4:42 Anything around aggressive, that's toxic. But here's my philosophy on the whole thing. And this is going to lay out the precedents for what I'm going to talk about today. Toxic and masculinity paired together is, in my opinion, a misnomer. A misnomer is a definition that doesn't make sense, a definition that doesn't go together, such as dry and water or limp and biscuit. How can a biscuit be limp, bro? It doesn't make any sense. So when we have toxic masculinity, that is, in my opinion, a misnomer.

5:13 It doesn't make sense because, in my opinion, and I believe this is true, once we iron out and get straight what masculinity actually means, masculinity is nothing but positive traits. Toxicity, on the other hand, is just that. It's toxicity. It's separate from masculinity. Just as you can't have toxic love. I mean, love, in its essence, is pure. It's divine. It's compassionate. It's peaceful. It is all that encompasses love, not having to do with any toxicity whatsoever. I believe that's the same thing with masculinity. Yeah, masculinity is aggressive.

5:47 But aggressiveness has created so much positive in this world, such as a cougar tearing through the Indian tribe trying to kill children, and the warrior kills it with aggressiveness, protecting his children, protecting his tribe. That, in my opinion, is aggressiveness, and that's a positive trait. Other elements of masculinity that have been attacked are your sexual desires. Sexual desires are responsible for the procreation and the success of our lineage as a people. Yes, it can descend into toxicity, such as a guy raping a woman, but that isn't masculinity.

6:21 Masculinity is embracing the sexuality within you, taking a woman to where she wants to be led, and taking her when she wants you to take her, which is what I always talk about. Not forcing women to have sex with you, certainly not raping them, but when it's time to get aggressive, yes, even in the bedroom, and take that woman where she wants to be led, sweep her off her feet, give her a sexual experience that's going to blow her mind and make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit in the head with a tornado, that is aggressiveness, that is sexuality from masculinity.

6:53 Women want to be taken to where they want to be taken to. With that masculine, quote-unquote, aggressiveness, which is always derived of positivity. Toxicity, on the other hand, such as manipulating women, taking advantage of them, and yes, even raping them, it's just that, it's toxicity. It comes from negativity. It's derivative of fear, whereas masculinity is derivative of love. All the positive traits that masculinity has, all the positive things that it has produced in the society are derivative of that love-based masculinity. We, as masculine men, have built almost all the buildings in the society, all the train tracks, all the infrastructure, all the electricity, right?

7:36 How many electricians are listening right now being like, damn right, dude, I crawl up in the fucking attics of homes with spider webs and mice and shit everywhere and wire this bitch. If there were no men, there would be no infrastructure. If there were no men, there would be no cars on the road. Or at the very most, there would be some sort of different transportation system because women just aren't into that. And that's okay. As men, we like things. We like to stand shoulder to shoulder and figure out problems with objects.

8:07 Women are relationship-based. And don't get it twisted, brothers. This isn't an attack on femininity. Toxic femininity, too, doesn't exist. Women have so many beautiful qualities about them. They are nurturing. They are loving. They understand interpersonal communication. They are freaking angels on earth. And I love femininity. And you should, too. As a masculine man, as a positive, loving, healthy masculinity, you should love femininity. If you hate femininity, you attack women, you try to rape them, you try to take advantage of them, you just look at them as notches on a bedpost, that's toxicity.

8:43 But it is not toxic masculinity because, again, that's a misnomer. Dry water. It just can't be. Masculinity is something that you should be proud of, brother. When I was 22 years old, I got a degree in psychology. I went to work in a boy's home where boys had trouble. They were troubled youth. They committed crimes. They were really messed up. And when I was being interviewed, the lady asked me, why is it difficult to be a boy? And I said, it's one of the most difficult things you can do, incarnating into this world as a boy, because there's so much expectation on you.

9:17 You have to be successful. You have to be strong and tall and handsome and masculine, make six figures, have a six-inch dick and a six-pack. There's so much pressure put on men by society to be this top-tier dude, and now you can't even be masculine. So all those traits and attributes that you have to leverage in order to be this dude that society wants you to be, you have to be shameful about them. You don't want to walk with your head held high saying, yeah, I'm a man, I have a dick in my pants, and I have balls with testosterone in it, and I have an 800 testosterone, and I'm proud of that shit.

9:51 No, no, no, no. You have to be more understanding and more feminine. You have to go into your understanding side, and don't be aggressive. Don't play sports, because sports are just negative. They always hurt people, and there's this fucking narrative started by the Me Too movement, which I'm gonna talk about in a second, that's making you feel guilty for being a man. But brother, I am one of the few voices that's here to tell you, be proud for being a man. Be proud for having a boner the size of the Statue of Liberty, and yeah, bro, be proud that you wanna get girls and procreate and meet your woman and take care of her and take care of your family and be aggressive in your work.

10:28 Make lots of money. Get fucking ripped. Get those goals that you wanna go after like a man should, towards oriented. But no, there's movements like the Me Too movement, and initially, the Me Too movement was fine. It was talking about how there's a lot of men who have taken advantage of women, which is true. It's not masculinity. It's toxicity, different from masculinity. Men going up to women and just grabbing them in a sexual or lascivious way, that is not masculinity. Masculinity is the dude that protects women from guys like that, toxic guys.

11:01 So the Me Too movement happened, and it shifted the momentum of a largely patriarchal society to the other direction. And I'll admit it, man, in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s, there was some toxicity out there. Not toxic masculinity, but toxicity. Where men would degrade women, where men would talk shit on them, take advantage of them sexually. I mean, if you look at sitcoms back there, or even commercials, they often talk about like, the woman should be in the kitchen. She should do everything her man says.

11:30 Yeah, there was a patriarchy largely caused by religion, and now it's swung in the other direction, which is fine, but in my opinion, it's gone too far in the other direction. I mean, dude, if you even look up the word masculinity on the internet, it immediately starts talking about the patriarchy. It says, traditional masculinity is centered around anti-femininity and homophobia. It encourages boys and men to be tough and aggressive. What's wrong with that? Suppress emotions other than anger. Distance themselves from other men. Strive for success, power, and competition.

12:03 So even the definition of masculinity on Google, which is derived of an AI platform that finds the answer for you, it even has anti-masculinity definitions about masculinity. Like I said, it's not wrong to be tough and aggressive. Who's gonna protect the tribe? Who's gonna go outside the tent when something goes bump in the night? You are, because you're a fucking man. Suppress emotions. We never talk about that. You could talk about your emotions with your mentor. Talk about emotions with your friends. Don't bring it to your woman because she's gonna lose respect for you, but work on it with your boys.

12:37 Distance themselves from other men. Are you fucking high? This is the exact point of this podcast, of my community. It's the exact point of my program. To get guys into a community, to lean on each other, to be brothers fighting shoulder to shoulder in the trenches, and to get to that next best version of themselves. Do you think that men try to get away from other men when they're in warfare, when they're fighting for the tribe, when they're going against unsurmountable odds? Hell no. Your brother becomes the closest person to you.

13:05 That's masculinity. And the final one says, strive for success, power, and competition. What's wrong with success? What's wrong with having power so you can lead people to a better life? What's wrong with competition? It's fun. As long as there's no negativity that goes into it, where you start biting people's ears off, or try to undermine them so you can win the competition, competition is healthy. All these things that are masculine have been attacked, saying that you being a man is shameful. You being attracted to women is disgusting.

13:35 You're a creep, bro. You masturbated? Oh man, that's extremely shameful. God's gonna send you to hell, right? All these messages. Brother, I'm here to tell you, you were born with masculinity within you. You were born with testosterone within you for a reason. It has created many of the good parts of this society. It has created many parts of our success as humanity. So be proud of that shit. Walk with your head held high. Put your shoulders back. Stick your chest out. Listen to music that gets you pumped up and lift weights.

14:08 Get your testosterone as high as possible. Approach women unapologetically. Don't be apologetic about your sexuality or shameful about it. Don't be apologetic that sometimes you get a boner the size of the Sears Tower. Be proud of that shit. The next time you get a boner, be like, hell yeah, bro. That's fucking testosterone. That's masculinity. Gentlemen, you were born a man for a reason. To give value to this earth. To use masculine traits. To better this society. To raise a family and protect it. To show your son how to be a man.

14:42 To show your daughter what a good man is. To show your wife that she can be feminine and she doesn't have to be the man. She doesn't have to make all the decisions in the house and be stressed out about everything while she goes after this huge career. If that's what she wants to do, fine. But she doesn't have to do it as society is making women do. Making them more unhealthy because they're telling them, you gotta be a man and a woman. You gotta wear the pants, but not wear the pants.

15:06 There's so much confusion. Let men be men. Let women be women. And it's okay to go into those traditional roles, quote unquote. Because that's where it's most comfortable. That's what we're designed to do. And it's not a degradation to women. It's not toxic masculinity. We can still be men and women can still be women. And we can all have equal rights. We can be on an equal playing field and admire each other for our strengths. Me as a man, I have no idea what to do when you hand me a crying baby.

15:36 I have a five-year-old little girl. Every time she cries, I'm just like, dude, I don't know what to do. Hit it with a hammer, maybe? I don't know. That's because I'm a dude. I'm just not designed for that shit. Marissa takes care of that stuff. She teaches me how to be a better dad. And then when something goes boom in the night or the fricking toilet starts leaking, I'm the dude who fixes it. And that's okay. We're okay to go into traditional kind of roles. Why?

15:58 Because that's our strengths. That's where we shine. Me trying to be the mommy and her trying to be the daddy is just stupid and again, boys, toxic masculinity is a misnomer. So the next time somebody says that to you, just scoff and just be like, dude, you got it all wrong, bro. Masculinity is virtue. Masculinity is strength. It's power. It's honor. It's doing what you say you're gonna do. It's persevering through adversity. It's saying to all your challenges, I am never out of the fight. And what is a fight?

16:29 It's a struggle. It's a battle. And you refusing to give up is derived from testosterone. It's derived from masculinity. Yeah, there's a lot of toxicity in the world, but it has nothing to do with femininity. It has nothing to do with masculinity. What it is, is fear. False evidence appearing real. It's ego. It's that part of us that masculinity and femininity are gonna help us overcome. And I love the symbolism from the Buddha where he was about to get enlightenment. And in the last stages, he had to fight for enlightenment, embrace his masculinity, and go up against those cardinal desires, go up against those things that are trying to allure him away from being disciplined, away from being seated in his own masculinity.

17:15 And with his masculinity, he was able to overcome those challenges. Just as all of us are gonna have to do. So brother, don't run away from it because I'm telling you, it's gonna make you more unhealthy. It's gonna make you feel like shit. It's gonna make you unhappy. Go into it. You were born to be a man, so embrace it and fight with us shoulder to shoulder in the trenches because you are designed for the fight. You are designed to get into your masculinity. You are designed to never fucking quit.

17:43 And no matter what challenges come, embrace that testosterone and get the motivation to overcome it. So be a fucking man without making any apologies for it. And if you have time, brothers, go over to Spotify, Mark's Lift Heavy Ass Weights, listen to song one and song two, I guarantee you, bro, if you don't have an 800 testosterone like me, it's gonna boost you to an 800 testosterone and make you feel that warrior within because that warrior is there for a reason. It's there to help you persevere through adversity, take your family into success, fight shoulder to shoulder with your brothers, and feel good for being a fucking man because that's what you are, brother, and I'm proud of you for it.

18:22 And I want you to be proud of yourself. Gentlemen, I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. Once again, happy Thanksgiving to you. Eat some turkey, lift some weights, listen to some Mark's Lift Heavy Ass Weights on Spotify and get into that testosterone. Enjoy your time off, but when it comes time to get back into work, push, be aggressive, get that next goal, and be thankful for being a fucking man because it is great and it feels damn good when you embrace it. Thanks for listening, boys, and I will see you in the next episode.

18:52 Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.