The One Thing No One Talks About When it Comes to Female Attraction

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, we are going to talk about one of the biggest things that, for some reason, a lot of dating coaches don't discuss when it comes to getting women attracted to you. This is one thing that, in my opinion, is so unbelievably underrated because it takes hard work.

0:33 It takes moving into your fears. It takes moving into pain willingly, which is exactly what we're going to talk about today. But make sure to stay tuned for this one because I'm going to tell you why you are already more attractive to women than the average dude who isn't listening to a podcast like this one, and also why your travails, why all the shit that you've been through, your calamities, your bad luck, your traumas, are actually going to work in your benefit when it comes to attracting women.

1:05 This is really interesting stuff, gentlemen. I really like talking about this stuff because, like you, I've been through a world of hurt. This life is not easy. I've been through so much bullshit. I could start my own manure company, and I'm sure it's the same thing for you. So, we're going to talk about that today. And I want to give you a boost of confidence knowing that your travails, all the shit that you've been through, is actually there to build you up to become more attractive to women.

1:30 I also have some really interesting research statistics that I'm looking forward to sharing with you guys to prove to you exactly what I'm saying. Before I jump into the content, gentlemen, want to read a testimonial for my three-month coaching program. I haven't done this in so long, and my freaking desktop is full to the brim with testimonial of success after success after success. So, we're going to read this real quickly and then jump into the content. This is from my boy, Mitchell S. What is up, Mitchell, if you're listening?

1:54 Mitchell says, I listened to the Unapologetic Man podcast for several months before I scheduled the first meeting with Mark and his team, and it had to be one of the best things I've ever done in my life. After your three-month coaching program, I am a changed man in life, not only with women, and goddamn, there's a lot of women, but in several aspects like my career, family, friendships, and self-awareness. Thank you for all that you've done for me, sir. It's really not even fair, the leg up I have now, compared to all these guys not working on themselves.

2:26 And this is a perfect segue into what we're going to discuss today, working on yourself. Oftentimes, I get asked the question, in your coaching program, how many guys get success and how many guys don't? And I'm going to be completely straight up with you guys. Out of 20 guys, usually about 18 or 19 get the success that they hired me for, one or two don't. And that's a 90 to 95% success rate, and I can boast those numbers because A of all, we're picky about who we work with, and B of all, we hold guys accountable to a very high degree.

3:02 But no matter how many emails I send a guy, no matter how many text messages and follow-ups begging him to come back to the program, invariably, there's always that one dude that kind of slips through the net, says he's going to do the work, says he's going to commit to the NLP, says he's going to commit to memorizing all the myriad of gambits and tactics and female psychology that I teach him. And then one day, he just disappears into hyperspace. So obviously, I follow up with him, as do my assistant coaches.

3:29 We do everything we can to bring guys back in, and we've done so successfully many times. But invariably, there's those one or two dudes that just disappear into hyperspace. Why is that? It's because while I try to remove as much of the pain as possible of doing this, and I'm going to admit to you, it's difficult. It's at times painful. While I try to remove as much as possible, specifically with NLP, helping remap the brain so that it's easier to go into this with the full courageous heart, it's hard.

3:56 And some guys just can't hack it. They don't have the stomach for it. They don't have the intestinal fortitude. They don't believe in themselves enough. And while me, the coach, can lead them up the mountain, which of course I do, he has to hike the mountain. I can't do it for him. As much as I want to jump into the bodies of all my clients and do all the hard work for them, they have to do it themselves. Now, do I believe that this is by far the easiest way to do it?

4:22 And when I say do it, I mean, get attractive to women when you're not attractive to women. Obviously, you guys know, I believe that. And I believe it wholeheartedly, which is why I always tell you guys about my three month coaching program saying it is, in my opinion, a generational program that only comes around once a generation. That's how effective it is. If you do the work, and that's what I tell my guys in every coaching call, always there's a dude who doesn't show up to a coaching call.

4:49 I hit him up. I'm like, hey, bro, where were you? You got to do the work to get the results. And I tell my guys in the coaching call, the fact that you're here gives you such a leg up on other dudes who are not only in the program, not coming to the calls, but also dudes who aren't in the program, dudes who aren't even working on themselves. And that's how I want to relate it to you guys listening to the podcast. At least you're working on yourself to the degree where you're listening to podcasts, spending your time doing something that's going to improve yourself rather than just going for transient sensory gratification.

5:22 Transient, short-term, sensory, your senses, gratification. What is that? Eating like shit, playing video games, sitting around watching movies, masturbating to porn, having no fucking self-discipline. And a lot of people live that way. And by the virtue of you guys simply listen to this podcast, you are, in my opinion, a tier one dude who women would be lucky to be with. Cause here's a study I want to tell you about. They took guys who do Brazilian jujitsu and they had women rate their attractiveness before they started Brazilian jujitsu.

5:58 So all they had was a picture of this guy. They looked at him standing there and they gave him a score from one to 10. Then they had the dude do Brazilian jujitsu for three months. Afterwards, they took another picture of him, had women rate him from one to 10. And on average, his rating went up usually one or two points of attractiveness. So if the women originally rated him a seven, he became an eight or a nine after going through that three month crucible. Now being a Brazilian jujitsu practitioner myself, I can tell you it is a crucible.

6:33 You get choked out, you get in super uncomfortable positions. You have some dude with his knee in your solar plexus holding you down and you can't fricking move. It's very debilitating. It's very humiliating. And it hurts. You get injured and it's a fucking crucible. It is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things you can do, which is why 99 out of a hundred people quit before they get their blue belt. And it goes white belt, blue belt, purple, brown, black. A black belt, in my opinion, is a warrior, a straight up warrior.

7:00 And I have so much respect for those guys. So why do so many people quit? Because they don't like pain. They don't see the benefit of pain. But as we just discussed, women become more attracted to you when you go into pain willingly. Why is this? Women, as you know, do not want a lazy man. They don't want a man who's fearful. They don't want a man who avoids discipline. They don't want a man who's essentially going to let them down because who is a dude who avoids discipline?

7:30 It's a guy who can't take care of her. And while a woman, especially in today's age, will tell you, I don't want a guy to take care of me. She doesn't need it, but she wants it. And her attraction is based on it. Women's attraction is based on your ability to lead them, take care of them, provide for them, preside for them. But they don't necessarily need it. They just want to know that it's there. So a man who's gone through travails, guys who, let's say, for example, were collegiate wrestlers and went through that absolute crucible of hell to become that good, or dudes who lift weights a lot.

8:10 And that too is a study where women became more attracted to weightlifters. It shows that this dude has discipline. What is discipline? It's acting on your higher motives, not your lesser motives. For example, and this is the easiest one for most people to relate to, being disciplined with the food that you eat. If you're trying to cut, if you're trying to get ripped, it's very simple. Just don't fucking eat sugar. Don't eat simple carbohydrates like breads and pastas, yet so few people can do it. So when you see a dude walking down the street, who's ripped, that can't be faked.

8:40 It can't be bought. It's not Instagram followers where you can just hire somebody to give you a bunch of it. It takes real work. And sorry for you dudes who are out of shape. Women are attracted to dudes who are in shape because it shows discipline. Discipline and perseverance through pain, also known as grit, is super attractive to women. Why? It's a sign of survivability. It tells her this dude can survive in society. Even if the shit pops off, he has discipline. He has grit. He has perseverance.

9:12 He is never out of the fight. Therefore, I'm unconsciously attracted to him. So when you go into pain willingly, women become more attracted to you. And this is a phenomenon that happens in my three-month coaching program. I believe with every fiber of my being, the second a guy commits to my program and joins us in the brotherhood, his attractiveness to women automatically goes up by one or two points. And not only do I just believe it as some airy-fairy belief system, we see it time and time again.

9:42 I have guys who sign up who are like, dude, I just had a girl approach me. I've never had that happen. Or girls are checking me out like they never have before, Mark, saying what the hell is going on. I'm like, dude, you went into a crucible. You went into a boot camp, a hell week if you were. Of course, I don't try to make it hell. But you went into something difficult. Women sense it. They pick up on it. So here's the key, gentlemen. Everything that you've been through, all the traumas, travails, calamity, and bullshit.

10:11 Yes, even women rejecting you, can and will make you more attractive to women. Why? Because it's like wrongs on a ladder. Each calamity you go through gives you the ability to rise above it, therefore rise up higher as a human being, as a guy with grit, as a guy with discipline, therefore becoming more attractive to women. If you were born with a silver spoon in your butthole, getting every single thing you wanted from the time you were zero years old until you were 25, you have no character.

10:42 You have no backbone. You have no discipline. This is why we naturally respect people from the hood or people who came from lower class families. It's almost like a bragging point on certain people's resumes that, dude, I came from a really low class family. My dad and my mom both had to work two jobs. We could hardly eat during the week. And part of us kind of respects that because it creates grit. And grit is not only attractive to women, it also is a measure for being more successful, being more liked, being somebody who gets to that tier one level.

11:20 Now, obviously, it goes without saying, if you've had a lot of calamities and you haven't risen above them, but instead you let them drag you down with low self-esteem, low confidence, anxiety, social awkwardness, weird mannerisms, or whatever it is, that's going to be less attractive to women because look what happened. You had calamities that you couldn't rise above. So now you have things like social anxiety, approach anxiety. You go into screensaver mode when you talk to hot chicks. You kind of look blown out and skinny.

11:50 It doesn't look like you're too disciplined. You may not train in any kind of martial arts or any kind of fighting technique. You don't really work out. There's all these signs that women look at you and they're like, oh, he doesn't have discipline. He doesn't have perseverance. He doesn't have grit. I'm not attracted to him. Why is she attracted to grit, perseverance, and rising above calamity? Because she wants your genes to pass on to her children. She wants her children to have the biggest chance of success in society.

12:17 Woo, that was a hard sentence. Therefore, she's attracted to you. She wants your genes of discipline, perseverance, and grit. So what do we do? First of all, gentlemen, I want you to celebrate the fact that you have been through hell. Secondly, I want to give you props. The old slap on the back and I'll smack upside the butt cheek from your Uncle Mark Singh because you're listening to this podcast. That shows me that you do have grit. You do have perseverance because at least you're willing to address your issues.

12:45 At least you're trying to improve yourself. Most people cower cower from their problems, cower from their histories, cower from any kind of challenge whatsoever, and they never tackle it. They just numb it with things like drugs, smoking, alcohol, eating like shit, what have you, and they never move into their pain willingly. I'll tell you this, gentlemen, do what's hard and your life will be easy. Do what's easy and your life will be hard. That is a rule that I have lived by for the last two decades and it has changed my life.

13:14 So we go back to you. You have all these issues. You have all these calamities. Good. Celebrate them. Say, hell yeah. Thank you for these calamities. When's the last time you did that? Saying thank you for all the bullshit you've been through. Probably never. Try it today. Why? As I said, wrongs on the ladder of your development. I want you to tackle each one frontally. You could do so with NLP, which is what we do in my program. Of course, it's a dating program, but NLP is a part of it.

13:45 You can hire a cognitive behavioral therapist, go find a different NLP coach, go find a mentor, even just the therapist to talk to, to address these things that have been left unaddressed. Sweeping them under the rug does nothing for you. Their energy saps you and you don't rise above them to get more attractive to women. So when you tackle these things frontally, such as not being good with women and joining a program like my program to attack it frontally, women automatically get more attracted to you.

14:16 Look at the example I just gave you. Brazilian jiu-jitsu, one example. We could say the same thing for anything. Somebody who's trying to get ripped, take a picture of the dude before he lifts, then after three months, girl's going to be more attracted to him. Not necessarily because he's ripped, but there's just something about him. Guys don't change much in the way of their body structure and facial structure where they take Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Maybe a little bit they get in shape, but what was communicated is a subtle energy, a subtle body language change, a look on his face that's a little bit different.

14:50 That can't be faked. That only comes with hard work, discipline, grit, perseverance, and saying over and over and over again, I am never out of the fight. I was interviewed once on a podcast, and at the end, he kind of threw a random question at me I wasn't prepared for. He said, what makes a man a man? And I said, a man goes into pain willingly. He does what he has to do, not always what he wants to do. But I'll tell you this, boys. When you do what you have to do, and you know what you have to do.

15:19 I don't have to be your babysitter here telling you what you have to do. You know what it is. When a man does what he has to do, he not only becomes way more attractive to women, you actually are happier because of it. Move into pain. Follow your fears. Go into the uncomfortable place of discipline, focusing on your higher motives, not your lesser motives. And in the end, you're happier because of it. So again, all the shit you've been through rungs on a ladder, brother. If you tackle those frontally, if you address them with the courage that is inside your warrior heart, I know it's in there because you're listening to this.

15:59 If you attack it frontally, you are going to evolve to the next best version of yourself and women are going to be attracted to you. I see it every single time. So that one dude out of 20 who comes into my program and doesn't get out of it what he was hoping he'd get out of it, he simply gave up. He simply threw in the towel. I'm telling you with a lot of these guys, they're digging a hole towards gold and they keep digging and digging and digging.

16:23 They're getting tired. Their arms are shaken. They're scared. They're anxious. They don't know what's going to happen. And they're literally three inches away from gold and they give up. They throw away the pickaxe and then I'm emailing him. I'm like, bro, you're so close. Just keep with it, man. Just keep with it. Keep pushing. But they don't. Then you have another guy like Mitchell, whose review I read at the beginning of the show, who just kept at it. And I can tell you, Mitchell was a hard case.

16:50 He couldn't get laid if he was in a Tijuana brothel with $100 bills strapped to his penis. Yet now look what he said. God damn, there's a lot of women in my life now. It's just about perseverance. Never quitting. Fall down six times, get up seven. That's all it is, boys. Failure cannot cope with persistence. Your discipline, your grit, your perseverance is one of the main things that women are attracted to. So if you're having problems with women, do something hard. If you're depressed, get a mission.

17:28 Even if it's just helping somebody else who's depressed, do what's hard and your life will be easy. Do what's easy and your life will be hard. This is one of the biggest tenets that I always try to live by. It's not always easy. And sometimes you will find Mark sitting on the couch eating potato chips and watching Netflix, but not nearly as often as I used to. When I'm disciplined, when I'm following the straight and narrow path, when I'm going for my goals with a strong, courageous heart and facing the bullshit that we all have, that's where happiness is.

18:00 Discipline, brothers, is acting on your higher motives, not your lesser motives. What is your highest motive? What do you want to become? You have all the fuel, all the gasoline, all the wrongs on the ladder. You just have to face those wrongs one by one as you move up and move up and move up. And then lo and behold, chicks start jocking you. Maybe they start approaching you. They react way better to you because women are attracted to men who move into pain willingly, who have discipline and grit.

18:27 That's what's masculine. Masculinity is not afraid of pain. And I'll tell you this, when you're highly in your testosterone, when you're highly in your masculine energy, you cannot feel fear. This is why ancient armies would always get themselves pumped up before they got into battle, not just because they wanted more strength, but because when you're pumped up, when you're full of testosterone, you can't feel fear. The next time you're lifting weights and perhaps listening to my playlist, Mark's Lift Heavy Ass Weights on Spotify, see how much fear you can feel when you're really full of testosterone.

19:03 Not much, brothers, because when you step fully into your masculinity, fear becomes what it really is. False evidence appearing real. Move into pain. Follow your fears. That is the point of today's episode, and I hope you got something out of it. Gentlemen, as a reminder, we are now accepting applications to my three-month coaching program. This is a program that's going to challenge you. It's going to move you into your fears, but you have a whole group of brothers doing it alongside you. There's accountability there, and if I may say so myself, I make it as easy as possible.

19:35 I mean, I've lowered the pain threshold as low as it could possibly go for something like this, but brothers, you still have to climb up the mountain. So if you apply, just don't be that one dude out of 20 who bitches out because of his own fear. Stay in the fight, and you will get the results. You can click the link in the description below, fill out the quick application. You and I will talk a little bit, see if it's a good fit, and if it is, you're going to get on a one-hour NLP breakthrough session with my partner, Jared Nozzle, an absolute champion who, too, has been through the program.

20:10 He's an expert in NLP, and we will see if we can at least 10x your results with women and see if you really do have the intestinal fortitude to get through this because I'll tell you what, getting good with women ain't for pussies. So for those of you who won't apply, at least you're listening to this podcast. I do respect that. Keep working on yourself. Go into pain willingly. I'm telling you, it will change your life. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode.

20:41 We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one.

20:52 We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one. We'll see you in the next one.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.