How to Tell When a Woman is Cheating on You (My Bulletproof Method)

0:00 Unless you're seriously paranoid, unless you're insecure and you're super needy and you're just jealous all the time, if you think she's cheating, bro, she probably is. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, boys, we are going to talk about how to tell when a woman is cheating on you. One of my really good friends just found out that his wife was cheating on him.

0:38 There were some signs that were leading up to him discovering this, but I was pretty sure she was doing it for a good long time. And I'm going to tell you guys what kind of evidence we found. And there's one really interesting thing that I pointed out to him that he didn't even realize until I really explained it to him. It's based on this concept called cognitive dissonance, which is a psychological concept, which is going to change her behavior towards you. And I'm going to explain that at the end of the episode.

1:06 This is really fascinating. Like when I told him this, his eyes just became saucers because he's like, dude, that makes so much sense as to why she's behaving this way, why she's doing XYZ thing. So make sure to stay tuned until the end of the episode. I have some really good information where this is concerned. And if you're a woman listening, this applies to you as well. This is basically how to tell when somebody's cheating on you, even how to tell when somebody's lying to you.

1:32 And we're going to get into all of that today. Gentlemen, if you haven't heard yet, I am doing a two hour zoom based masterclass on either March 28th or March 29th. And those sold out so quickly. I actually had to add another day. We now have another day, March 30th, three different events talking about the same thing. What to talk about with girls in the first conversation. How many times, boys, have you seen a hot girl and you didn't approach her because you didn't know what to say?

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4:33 Be a trigger puller. Be the guy who knows how to spit game, knows what to talk about, and knows how to elicit emotions in women because literally the first conversation, the first date is the most important part of the seduction process. If you're boring, you ain't getting the second date. You ain't getting late. This is the key to getting women attracted to you, how to talk to them to elicit attraction. All right, boys, let's get into the content. So first of all, I want to say this.

4:55 If you think she's cheating, bro, she probably is. Unless you're seriously paranoid, unless you're insecure and you're super needy and you're just jealous all the time. If you have a suspicion that she's acting differently, specifically if her behavior is different from where she originally acted when you guys were dating and she's just being real private and she's just being suspicious and you see flirting with other dudes and perhaps even you know about her reputation, she's probably cheating on you, bro. Most of the time, just like it comes to police investigations, most of the time, the prime suspect is the one who's guilty.

5:35 It's like a chick gets murdered and they're like, okay, let's just go look at the obvious suspects. Huh? She was dating a dude who had previous jail time. She was dating a dude who was accused of rape when he was 16. Hmm. This is probably the guy as opposed to her dad who was loving and who would do anything for her. It's pretty fucking obvious when you look at the evidence. But a couple things I want you guys to look for. So obviously, she's starting to be more secretive.

6:03 She won't let you look at her phone when she used to let you do so. I mean, if she starts being real private about her phone, trying to keep her phone away from you, or like she's texting with people a lot more than she used to, that's a little bit suspicious. Another piece of evidence is she suddenly gets excited about her life. Like she feels a lot more joy in her life, but it really doesn't have to do with you. And this goes into what was happening to my friend is they were having the relationship and it was pretty good.

6:31 But then she started getting really happy, but kind of aloof at the same time. She was starting to be secretive. She would come home smiling and kind of like off in la la land. And he would be like, Hey, I'm talking to you. And she wouldn't really acknowledge him. She just seemed like she was in her own little world. It's because she is in her own little world. She's starting a new love affair with a new dude. And you guys all know how it is. When you start dating a new girl, it's exciting.

6:56 Maybe you fall in love and all those chemicals are released in your brain. You're just in your own personal G spot, dude. Like you're in the fucking clouds and nobody can really like connect with you except for that person. And this two boys is something you need to consider. When you first fall in love with a woman, you are literally addicted to a drug. I forget what it's called, but it's this really long word that represents a chemical that's releasing your brain. When you're in love with somebody, that person is acting on you as a drug would act on you.

7:28 And guess how long that lasts. That's right. You're a smart motherfucker. It lasts about nine months. So if you fall in love with the chick and you get married to her within a nine month window, when you're in love and you expect that love to continue that high feeling, that drunk feeling, it ain't going to continue. This is why I personally feel you should be with a woman for, in my opinion, at least four years before you marry her. You have to change with somebody to really get to know that person.

7:55 And you have to actually like them as a person. I brought my bike into the bike shop the other day and the guy who owns the bike shop just had open heart surgery. So his buddy was taking over for him. So I was talking to his buddy and he's like, yeah, dude, Mike actually came into the shop yesterday. And I was like, are you serious? Didn't he have open heart surgery just like a week ago? And he's like, yeah, but he's so sick of being home with his wife yapping at him.

8:21 He wanted to come in and just chill here because he didn't want to talk to her. And I was like, okay, this dude probably married a girl who he was in love with and then realized later that she's fucking annoying. Doesn't really like her as a person. And now he's trying to avoid her after he had open heart surgery, hanging out in the bike shop with his buddy. So guys, be very careful about who you marry. Make sure you actually like the person. This too is a big reason people cheat.

8:46 That spark leaves the relationship. They don't really like the person anymore. And in the case of a guy getting cheated on by a woman, the reason she's doing it is perhaps he lost frame. He's not ambitious anymore. He's being too needy or the opposite. He's not giving her enough attention. And she goes and looks for that in somebody else. So she starts hiding her texts. She starts acting a little weird, but she's kind of like on cloud nine at the same time. It just feels like there's that emotional disconnect.

9:16 Now I'm a very spiritual person. If a girl cheats on me, I fucking know. And I have been cheated on before. In fact, I think I've been cheated on by a couple different girls. And what this one chick did is she did what's essentially an OJ Simpson confession where the killer or the cheater will confess it to you because they're feeling guilty about it, but they'll do it in a roundabout way. So this one girl who was cheating on me, she's like, you know, I know that you had a crush on that one girl.

9:45 You know, I cheated on you. We just know that we did certain things where we didn't really do it, but you think, you know, that I did it. So she said, you know, I cheated on you because oftentimes people who are guilty, they want to admit the guilt because they feel so bad about it. They literally feel guilty about being guilty. So they'll admit it to you in a really roundabout way, but say it's like your delusion or they'll gaslight you. And if you don't know what gaslighting is, it's like making somebody feel confused about what they believe.

10:22 So that girl was like gaslighting me. She's like, I didn't cheat on you, but you know, I cheated on you. And she admitted it without actually admitting it. And these are the kind of language kind of things you need to look for. Also, when a woman is lying, she does very obvious things. And I actually talk about this in my book, you know, she's lying, right? Which can be yours. If you jump over to my page, the perks program and tell friends about this podcast, post about it on a seduction forum or Reddit or something like that.

10:49 And I will send you that book. But oftentimes when people are lying, you can just tell they're lying. They won't make eye contact with you. They'll try to increase distance when they're denying something. They'll like really over deny it, right? Like get super passionate, explain themselves way more than they need to. If you accuse me of sucking a dick, I'm not going to be like, dude, I never sucked a dick. I've never been out at a gay club. No, I didn't take that guy into the bathroom and drop his pants and suck his dick until he came in my eyeball.

11:15 No, that never happened. I'd just be like, fuck you, dude. I never sucked a dick. And that would be it. People who are not guilty of something say it with conviction, but they don't need to over explain it. So there's all these things in that book that show you when somebody is lying and like over explaining or avoiding it or not making eye contact with you, hiding her phone, just being generally suspicious probably points to the fact that she's cheating. Now, another obvious sign, and this happened to my friend is that she stopped having sex with him.

11:48 So they were having sex, you know, a couple of times a month. For those of you who are married, you kind of know that the sexuality dies down a little bit, but she completely stopped having sex with him, which is a huge red flag. She's kind of happy. She's kind of giddy. She's hiding her phone. I mean, dude, this is so obvious that she's cheating on the dude. Also on her Facebook page, and this is something else that you guys need to look for, who are the kind of people who she's suddenly in contact with?

12:14 Now, in the case of my friend, his wife suddenly became business partners with this new guy, and they traveled to Hawaii together. And when my friend was doing research on like her Instagram and her Facebook and her LinkedIn, he's like, wait a minute, who's this new connection that she's suddenly hanging out with? Usually cheating, at least at the beginning, won't be totally intentional. It'll just be something that kind of pops up. You meet somebody who you're attracted to. You're disappointed in your marriage. Your sex life has fizzled out.

12:48 You don't really like the person like my buddy who owns the bike shop, right? Now you have this new person in your life. They're exciting. They're sexy. There's something you've never had before. You look at their ass and you're kind of like, yeah, dude, I like to hit that. One thing leads to another. You don't intend to go have sex with that person in certain cases, but one thing leads to another. You're like, oh, I'll just kiss him a little bit. And then I'll just feel a titty.

13:08 Oh, I'll just lick their fucking clam chop. Next thing is you look like you just came out of the Amazon jungle, having not eaten for two weeks, and you're going at a clam you just found on the fucking beach. And this is how it is, dude. It's like that fire is ignited. You cheat. And now it's all about covering it up. You're avoiding eye contact. You're avoiding talking about it. And here's the big one where my buddy completely had his mind blown by what I told him.

13:35 So what happened to my friend is his wife was a really cool chick and they had a good relationship, but she kind of started being mean to him. She started accusing him of things. She started berating him, saying that he was the one who was ruining their relationship. And meanwhile, he's being the best husband he can be. He's doing everything he did previously. He was treating her well, and he did not understand why she was berating him. Well, when he was talking to me about this, he was already suspicious of her cheating on him.

14:04 So I said to him, dude, this is cognitive dissonance, a classic case of it. He's like, what's cognitive dissonance? And I told him it's when you change your belief about something to meet your actions. So let me give you an example. If you hate snakes and you find a snake in the middle of the road and you save it, you take it out of the road, you take care of it, you nurse it back to health, you will convince yourself that you suddenly love snakes because your belief systems have to justify your actions.

14:32 So if a girl is suddenly being mean to you, what she's doing is trying to justify her actions of cheating. She feels guilty about cheating. So what she needs to do is rationalize it and make it your fault, make you the aggressor, make you the piece of shit, which caused her to cheat. So she's essentially justifying her actions by changing her belief systems about you because she had a belief system that she was a loyal wife. She had a belief system that she's a good person as most people do, but she's doing something bad.

15:09 So how can I rationalize this? I have cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance again is I feel incongruent with my actions and my belief systems. So how can I get congruent? Well, I'm going to make him the enemy. I am going to convince myself that he is a piece of shit. He is a bad husband and I'm going to start being mean to him. So if you're in a relationship with a girl and you think she's cheating on you and then suddenly she starts kind of being mean to you, berating you, making everything your fault and making you feel like you're the douche canoe, it's because she feels guilty about cheating.

15:43 And when I told this to my friend, dude, he was completely convinced. So long story short, he hires a private investigator and sure enough, dude, she's cheating with the exact dude who we suspected. The dude who went on the trip with her to Hawaii, the dude who's suddenly partners with her and her business, the dude who she's spending time with. So now he has that evidence. He's going to divorce her. Hopefully, which is unlike what happened to a lot of you guys, he's going to be able to keep his fortune, keep his money and not get economically butt raped in the court systems because honestly, the court systems and divorces will oftentimes favor women.

16:15 But she was the cheater. So she's the one who has to kick rocks with her head down. So those are the ways you tell boys. I mean, she's being secretive. She's lying. She's keeping her phone from you. She admits it without really admitting it. She's happy suddenly, but it has nothing to do with you and or she starts being mean to you, which of course points to that cognitive dissonance. She's trying to justify actions. And finally, guys, you have to look at the person's character as a whole.

16:39 I always say to people, dude, if you have a friend who talks shit about other people in front of you, then he's talking shit about you when he's with other people. So you have to look at the person's track record of character and integrity. I hate to say, but there's classy people out there, honorable people out there and ghetto people out there. Who is this girl? What's her track record? Has she served time? Does she talk shit about her ex-boyfriend? Is she on drugs? Does she steal from people?

17:07 Does she gossip? Would you rename her Trailer Swift? These are the kinds of things you need to look for and be completely honest with yourself, boys. Don't let yourself catch feelings for a girl who, let's just put it this way, has less than honorable behavior because she's probably going to cheat on you. She's probably going to talk shit about you. She's probably going to stab you in the back. So be careful who you choose and always choose a girl who you're actually friends with. Who, as I always say, you would select to go live on a desert island with you if you were banished from society and you could only select one person.

17:45 I know for me, Marissa, my woman, that's the person I would choose if I were banished to a desert island. She's my best friend. She makes me laugh. We have a great time together. And the sex is fucking awesome. But don't marry a girl who you're still in love with within that nine-month time frame. And of course, be very careful about who you marry, basing your decision on their previous track record of honor and integrity. Sounds pretty obvious, but sometimes we need a reminder. So I hope this won't help you, boys.

18:12 Now that you're done with this episode, jump over to the What to Talk About with Girls Masterclass. Grab your ticket right now. As I told you, boys, I am going to absolutely blow your mind in this masterclass. And if you don't love this two-hour event, I will buy it back from you, refunding your small investment in $97. And you could keep all the material. You could keep all the bonuses, these 200,000 hours of shit to talk to about girls that will not only entertain them, but it will get them attracted to you, which is what I know you guys want.

18:39 My masterclasses are always fucking gangster. A lot of you guys have been to several of them, and I'm going to deliver yet again. So grab your tickets right now before it's too late. Gentlemen, I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.