How to Approach Girls 101: My Step by Step Formula

0:00 Approaching women is generally safe. I have obviously approached tens of thousands of women at this point. When you've done that many, you realize the truth. Strangers are friends I haven't met yet. Most people are pretty fucking cool. Most girls are open to talking to you as long as you have a good approach. The two most important things are energy, feeling good within yourself, and tonality, speaking to her with authority. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it.

0:44 What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Uniform Mike Papa. We're going to talk today about Approaching Girls 101. We're going back to basics, boys. Not only am I going to tell you how to approach women and get warmed up doing so, but I'm also going to give you some good methods to open up the conversation so you can actually stick in the set, get her attracted to you, and get her phone number. But again, the title of this episode is Approaching Girls 101, so we are going to take it back to basics.

1:14 I know a lot of you guys have heard this stuff already, but it warrants going through it again and again and again because honestly, approaching a girl is the most difficult and probably the most important part of your entire seduction process. If you do it incorrectly, if you telegraph low-value mannerisms, low-value behavior, tonality that is incorrect, she's not going to get attracted to you, and then you're not going to get her phone number. So this is literally the most important part, but at the same time, it's the part that doesn't matter that much, boys, because first of all, and this is my first point, you have plenty of options.

1:48 One of the best things about being a man is we have the freedom to approach any girl we want, anytime, anywhere, if she's cute, you have the ability to approach her. The thing that kind of sucks about being a woman is she has to wait to be approached. And even my hot girlfriends who get approached by guys all the time, they tell me, man, I saw a guy today who I really wish would have approached me, but he didn't because he was too cowardly, he didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to talk about, so he didn't do so.

2:16 So women are at the whims of the guys that they want, and oftentimes, the guys they want won't approach them. I want you to be different, man. If you see a girl who you're attracted to, I want you to have the balls to go talk to her. Now, where do those balls come from? Does it come from you just motivating yourself and saying, just do it, man, just do it? Yeah, you can do that, but you know how it is, bro. It gets exhausting. It shuts down your fucking entire nervous system for the rest of the day.

2:41 You're on the couch like you just ran 10 miles because it's such a monumental lift. So a lot of guys don't do it. They're like, dude, I don't know what to talk about. I don't know what to say. I don't really feel like getting rejected right now, bro. Like my week has been hard enough. Do I really want to put myself out there? So we need to do something where we can circumvent that, but more importantly, we need to lower the threshold of what we see as success.

3:04 We need to lower the threshold of her being able to reject us. We need to solve for the issue of rejection, and that's what I'm going to teach you how to do today, and I'm going to teach you how to build up naturally just like a guy in the batting cages who's building up his swing without having to go full tilt. There's the girl. Go get her phone number. We're going to ease into it, boys, like an old man into a warm bath, gently dunking his disgusting, wrinkled, hairy balls into that bathwater, slowly getting you in there, boys, because I know a lot of you guys are terrified, and if I'm honest, I am too, man.

3:41 I don't always love to approach chicks. I don't like to get rejected. Sometimes I'm just exhausted, and I'm like walking through a shopping center, or yesterday, and I'll tell you the story. I saw this smoke show at the gas station. I was fucking tired. I had my kid with me. I'm like, dude, I don't want to approach this chick, but as a dating coach, I have to approach, because if I'm telling you guys to do it, I have to do it too. I have to walk the talk, so I approached her, and I'm going to tell you exactly what happened, what I said, what she said, and how it went down.

4:11 So this is going to be the 101 from the 10,000-foot perspective, keeping it real simple, and then as I go through this episode, I'm going to give you more and more information. I want you guys to stick with me until the end, because I'm going to save one of the best openers I have until the very end, so don't click away. Don't destroy my analytics, you fucking canyon mule. Stay with me. Listen to this. I'm going to deliver the content. All right, so first of all, we're going to do approach and eject.

4:39 A lot of you guys have heard me talk about this, but maybe some of you haven't who are new to my podcast, but approach and eject is exactly as it sounds. You approach her, and you eject before she can reject. So we get in there. We ask a quick question, and then we get the fuck out of there. Now, I know a lot of you guys like to do this. In fact, this is one of the easiest tasks that I have my boys do in my three-month coaching program, and I have them do 20 per week.

5:04 The reason we do it is to get used to speaking to people, used to going up, asking an innocent question, and I'll give you guys questions to ask, and then aborting before it could go bad. This gets your subconscious mind used to the fact that approaching women is generally safe. I have obviously approached tens of thousands of women at this point. When you've done that many, you realize the truth. Strangers are friends I haven't met yet. Most people are pretty fucking cool. Most girls are open to talking to you, as long as you have a good approach.

5:36 And this takes me to the two most important things of approaching. Again, for you guys who have been listening for a long time, you should know this. And any clients listening, you absolutely know this. The two most important things are energy, feeling good within yourself, and tonality, speaking to her with authority. So first of all, energy. What do I mean by that? Do I mean you got to go up being a spaz, like one of those blow-up dolls at the used car lot that's flipping his hands and fucking doing backflips and freaking out?

6:04 Of course not. It just means you need to feel good. The same way that I feel good when I do this podcast. I have guys write me literally every day. They're like, dude, I love your energy. It gets me pumped up. You're funny. You're charismatic. Guys, I'm not always like that. But I pump myself up to feel good so that you feel good. Because I honestly believe that even over the internet waves on Spotify, iTunes, or YouTube, which is growing slower than pond water, even on those forms of media, you can feel my energy.

6:34 Because energy is translated. Just imagine how much is translated in person. You guys know what it's like. You walk into a room, and there's like this meth head or this fentanyl addict in there who's got like a really bad vibe, and you can tell he's been to prison multiple times, and he's probably going to fucking steal your wallet and rape your butthole, leaving a used condom in your butt. And you're like, I want nothing to do with that, dude. It's an energy. He doesn't have to look at you.

6:58 He doesn't have to say anything. It's just a vibe. We as humans pick up on other people's vibrations. And here's the thing about women. Women, as well as men, frankly, always want to be in a better vibration. They want to level up. That's why chicks like puppy dogs, ice creams, literatica, and sending each other pictures of their meals that they had the night before, which is so stupid. Marissa and I could be out at dinner, and she'll be like taking pictures of her dinner. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

7:25 She's like, I'm going to send it to my friends. I'm like, are you serious? I would never send my friend a picture of a steak. Actually, now I think about it, I probably would. A steak that you cook yourself, you're sending pictures. But like some dinner that you buy at a restaurant, and they send pictures to each other, they're so stupid. But it points to the fact they want to feel good. They want to up their state. And therefore, you have to have good energy when you approach a chick.

7:48 How do you have good energy? Right now, brothers, you can make yourself feel 10% better than you feel just by making the decision. Let's do it together right now. I choose to feel 10% better. Bam. There you go. Done. And of course, you have two or three guys out there listening who are like, I'm not feeling better. I still feel like a canyon mule. Just decide, boys. Take decisive action. Be disciplined. Just be like, you know what? I'm going to fucking feel good. Even though this and this and this and this is happening, that fucking sucks.

8:20 I'm just going to feel good. And you can feel better just by choice. And that's the first step. Before you even approach that girl, you should be feeling better than she feels. Now that begs the question, how do I know how she feels? You could tell just by looking at somebody. Just like the fentanyl addict who's on Rhino Trank is nodding off and having low vibrations when you walk into the room. It's the same thing with the female. You look at her and you're like, okay, I feel like she's about here.

8:46 I need to be up here. And again, it's not spazziness. In fact, you can feel good and open a girl very calmly, such as in a coffee shop or a bookstore, and still feel better than she feels, which is the most important thing. So you have to feel good. Get your state up. The second most important thing is tonality. You guys have heard me say it all the time, especially if you've listened to my episode, How to Talk to Girls Like They're a Peasant, which was probably the most highly downloaded episode I've ever had, just because the title was so gangster.

9:17 As I talked about in that episode, is you need to talk to her like you're the king and she's a fucking peasant. And I'm not gonna go over everything again, but I say that to basically get you guys in the middle where you can have authority, kind of like a police officer asks you, license and registration, please. Your voice goes down at the end. Instead of license and registration, please, he has authority. He speaks to you with downward intonation. So those are the two most important things.

9:44 Can you practice that? Can you master that? Of course you can. You fucking river buzzard. All you have to do is go out and practice. And that's why I tell my boys, open and eject 20 girls a week, minimum homework assignment on a week-to-week basis. They're in my program for 12 weeks. That's 240 to 250, hopefully more like 300 girls that you just opened. How much better would you be, brother, if you could just do that? I'll tell you how much better. Probably about five times better. And then included in the program is NLP, the tactical aspects and everything else we do.

10:18 This is why guys consistently 10X the results. But if you're not gonna come into my program, then just do this on your own, brothers. 20 girls a week, open and eject. Ask innocent questions. You're in the supermarket. Hey, where are the watermelons in this place? You see a different girl in the supermarket. You see yogurt in her cart. Hey, where'd you get that yogurt? I've been looking everywhere for it. Where is it? She tells you and you say thank you and you eject. Guys often ask me, well, okay, so I open, I ask a question and then I eject.

10:45 What do I say when I eject? You just say anything. You say, cool, thanks, have a good day. Or you say, thanks a lot, you fucking bozo. Kick rocks with your head down. Whatever you wanna say, just say it. Just be like, hey, thanks, I appreciate that. So you go up and you ask one question, you dip out. Hey, where'd you get that purse? I'm shopping for my sister. Where'd you get that thing? Oh, I got it from XYZ Place. Cool, have a good day. Bam, eject before she can reject is what I always say.

11:10 This again is how you get your subconscious mind used to approaching a girl, realizing strangers or friends I haven't met yet. Most chicks are pretty cool when you have good energy and you have good tonality and it's gonna blow open. You're gonna ask her a question. And many times my guys will report, dude, I got into a conversation. I wasn't even trying to. I asked her, where's the yogurt in this place? You have 200 yogurts in your car, where are they? And she's like, oh my God, they're over here, they're over here.

11:36 Did you know they were on sale? They're having a sale this week and da, da, da, da, da. And I sent a picture of my yogurt to my fucking sister and she was freaking out and they just go on and on and on and suddenly you're in a conversation because you had the balls to move into this like an old man into a warm bath, dipping your hairy ass, wrinkled balls into the fucking bathtub, slowly but surely getting yourself used to it. Now, I'm gonna get into what's called the OQQP method as well as my direct approach that I absolutely love that I'm gonna teach you guys.

12:07 But before I do that, I want to read a quick review from my three-month coaching program. Don't skip ahead, bro. Let me flex up a little bit. I give you guys so much value. Just listen to the goddamn testimonial, you sea donkey. All right, I'm gonna blow through this real quick. This is from Anonymous. He didn't want me to say his name. Here he goes. I wanted to give you my feedback with my experience with your program. It has changed my life. At the age of 57, I realize I'm attractive, relevant man with plenty of options with attractive women of value.

12:36 You and your life lessons have redefined my inner value and my external perceived value. I choose women. This was never the case. In the last 14 weeks, listen to this, guys. In the last 14 weeks, I have dated more women than I have in the last seven years. I've never dated multiple women, which I am currently doing. I have slept with attractive, valuable women, and I decide how to manage these relationships. Your mantra is gold. Lead them to where they want to be led. The NLP has absolutely improved my personal life and in my business.

13:10 I am more assertive, take less shit. I reframe people and feel like a master negotiator. I want to thank you for all your help and knowledge. It has absolutely changed my life for the better, and I think your course has absolutely excellent value. Thank you so much for that testimonial, Anonymous. I super appreciate it. If you guys too want to experience that success, apply for my three-month coaching program by clicking the link below. It's the top link back into the content. All right, the OQQP method is this.

13:39 Open, question, question, pry. And when I say pry, that means pry open the conversation. So let's say, for example, you've done 50, 60, 70 approaches and eject. You ask a quick question, and then you eject before she can reject. But now you want to push it a little bit more, which is what I suggest to you guys. What you do is you open, and then you ask another question, another question, and then again, you pry open the conversation. So going back to the girl with all the yogurt, right?

14:07 I go up and I'm like, hey, you got a ton of yogurt in your cart. Where did you find that? I've been looking everywhere for it. Oh, it's over here and it's over there. Then I could say, another question, what kind of yogurt do you suggest? Or why is it that you bought, I don't know, Danin? I don't eat yogurt myself. I'm lactose intolerant. But you're like, why'd you buy Danin? Why'd you go with that one? Is it better or something? And then she says, oh, I like it because this, that, and the third.

14:28 And you'd be like, why do you buy so much yogurt? Are you making a yogurt casserole or something? And then she'll probably give you some other piece of information. She'll say, oh, I'm actually a marine biologist and I need all this yogurt to like do an experiment on something. And you'd be like, oh, you're a marine biologist? What's it like to study Marines? And she's like, no, silly. Marine biologist is, I study the ocean. And I would be like, yeah, I know. I'm just messing with you.

14:53 What made you want to become a marine biologist? Now I'm in the conversation asking her questions that she can ask me back. And again, if you've been listening to my content for any amount of time, you know that I have interesting ways to answer the boring questions that girls are going to ask you. What do you do for a living? What do you do for fun? Where do you live? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Did you go to school? I have answers for all that.

15:15 And the way I get them to ask me those questions is I ask them those questions first. So that's an example of open, hey, where'd you get the yogurt? Question, why do you have so many yogurts? Question, why did you choose Dannon? Pry, she says she's a marine biologist. I make a joke, which goes back to my banter episode. Another one I strongly suggest you listen to. Launched it, I think, last Thursday. Really should listen to that one where you can think off the cuff. She says I'm a marine biologist.

15:44 I was like, oh, how's it like to study Marines? And then she's like, no, silly, I work in the ocean. Then I say, oh, that's cool. What made you want to become that? Now the conversation's open. I alluded to that opening I did to that super smoking hot blonde that I saw at the gas station. I'm there with my kid. My kid wants to go into the gas station because it has a dinosaur on the gas station. She loves that gas station. And she earned $4 by picking weeds today.

16:09 So she went in with her $4 and she wanted to get some bubble gum. So I went in there, I was teaching her kind of like how to look at pricing and can she afford it? And she buys a little bubble gum. I walk out and there's a fucking solid nine blonde with a tight ass perky tits and a flat stomach and yoga pants and a crop top. Exactly my type. And what do I do? The second I see her, I do an eye roll. I'm like, oh my hell, of course.

16:35 The moment I don't want to open a girl, the hottest one of the day comes out. And that's always how it is, right? You turn the corner, you look like a fricking mountain troll. You look like an unfrozen caveman and there's the hottest girl of the day. Well, I tell you guys to approach. So that's what the fuck I did. So I put my daughter in the car. I backed up my car next to the pump that she was at because I needed to get gas too.

16:57 I really didn't. I had like quarter tank left, but I needed to be there to open this girl. So I start pumping the gas. My daughter's distracted and I look over and I'm like, hey, is that pump working today? Yesterday it was broken. That was my opener. Now I could have ejected if she was a bitch. If she's like, yeah, it's working, whatever. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not in the mood to deal with it. I'm going to be like, cool, thanks. So the opener will oftentimes give you the ability to eject before she can reject.

17:23 So I'm like, hey, is that working today? Yesterday it was broken. She's like, oh yeah, it's working good. She had a good response. Now she had a Mercedes AMG and that's a sick car. I know a little bit about it. And I know that that car has an inline V8. So I was like, okay, I'm taking the situation. I asked her a question, right? I opened with, hey, is that gas pump working? Yesterday it was broken. She says, oh yeah, it's working good. It seems to be fine.

17:48 She was open to it. She had good tonality. I don't think she was necessarily like attracted to me, but I had good energy. I made sure I was feeling good. And I opened her with a downward inflection. Hey, is that gas pump working? Yesterday it was broken. See how my voice kind of went down? It's not like a super like, hey, is it broken? Last week it was broken or whatever. It's just an innocent yet authoritative, hey, is that gas pump working? Yesterday it was broken, goes down, broken.

18:15 And she's like, oh yeah, it's working. She was cool. She was polite. So I was like, okay, I'm going to pry open the conversation by asking another question. So I know a little bit about Mercedes AMGs. I knew that that car had an inline V8. So I was like, hey, is that the Mercedes with the inline V8? And she's like, yeah, it is. And I was like, that shit's powerful, huh? How fast have you taken that thing? And she's like, well, I've taken it to like 120.

18:39 I'm like, damn, where'd you do that? She's like, I'm 480. So now we're talking about her car. We're talking about the present situation. And then I did a little neg on her because I could tell she's feeling pretty good about herself. So dude, this chick, she was probably like 19. And mind you, I'm 48, boy. So if you get buttered about being an older dude and talking to younger women, I talk to younger girls all the time. I'm unapologetically. I'm not hitting on her. I'm just talking about her fucking car.

19:05 If she gets attracted to me, so be it, right? Age doesn't matter. So she's got these long ass eyelashes, like clearly fake, right? But I play dumb. I'm just a stupid man. I don't know about these things. And I was like, damn, dude, those are some long ass eyelashes. Are those real? Knowing they were fake. And she's like, no, they're not real. And I was like, oh, well, they're still nice, right? Which is called a neg. It's kind of like a negative compliment created by mystery in the early 2000s.

19:31 Because she's feeling pretty high about herself. Like she's like, I'm the hot girl. I'm at the fucking gas station. This guy's talking to me, obviously, because my ass looks like the gates to heaven itself. So the neg is used sometimes when girls are really feeling good about themselves and you can tell something about them is kind of fake. And then you can say, oh, I like your eyelashes. Are those real? And she's like, no. And you'd be like, well, they're still nice, right? So it takes her down a couple of levels.

19:56 Now she sees that we're on even ground, which we are. In fact, boys, I want you to think that you are socially above them when you speak to them. Why? Because you train, you have frame control. You listen to podcasts like this one. And for God's sakes, if you come into my three-month coaching program, who invested themselves in that way? Only a fucking legend of the highest degree. So that's me, dude. I'm a dating coach. Like, chick, you're not even on my level. I need to show you that, right?

20:22 So that gets said. And then I asked a question I'll often ask, which will try to get her to ask me a question, which was, what do you do? But instead of what do you do, I always do the let me guess thing. So what do you do? Let me guess. You're an ice cream man. Or in this case, I was like, so let me guess. Based on the Mercedes, kind of how you're dressed, machine gun saleswoman, aren't you? She cracked up and she told me what she did.

20:46 Dude, the chick was still in college, right? Her fucking dad probably bought her this AMG. Can you believe that shit? These hot chicks, dude. They get such a silver spoon up their ass sometimes. So she's like, yeah, I'm still in college. And I was like, you know what, dude? I'm out of here. So I was like, hey, it was good to meet you. And I dip out. So that was basically it. Go up, ask a question. Is that gas pump still working? Yes, it is. Oh, great.

21:07 Oh, shit. Is that the AMG with the inline V8? Yes, it is. How fast have you taken that thing? Oh, where'd you do it? I did it on Highway 480. Oh, your eyelashes are crazy, dude. Like, what's up with that? Oh, they're fake. Eh, they're still nice. So anyway, what do you do for a living? Let me guess, machine gun saleswoman? No, I'm actually still in fucking middle school, right? And I'm trying to get into high school because I'm 14 years old. You're like, all right, I'm dipping out.

21:31 See you later. Now, obviously, I make a joke, boys. But if she's of age, if she's hot, go fucking talk to her. Even just ask her, hey, where'd you get those shoes? I'm shopping for my sister. She likes stuff just like that. I have no idea about fashion. Where can I find something like that? And then she might go on and on and suddenly you're in a conversation. All right, we're gonna wrap this up here shortly, but I wanted to give you one of my favorite openers.

21:55 After you've done, I'd say, probably like 250 openers and you've asked, where are the watermelons? Where'd you get that Starbucks? Where's the freeway around here? Do you have the time? My cell phone is broken. You're like, dude, why am I doing this? Why not just go in with a direct approach? A direct approach is, hey, I saw you standing over here. Thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. My name's Mark. Stick out your hand. You say, what's your name? That's it. Hey, I thought you were cute.

22:22 Saw you standing over here. You could even say, I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I approached you. And you can even say, I'm nervous to tell you this, but I wanted to come meet you. My name's Mark. What's up? What's your name? She tells you her name. Then you say this. Have you ever had a guy approach you so directly? This works like gold, boys. It gives you something else to say. Rather than just going up and saying, hey, I thought you were cute.

22:46 Had to come meet you. What's your name? She's like, Marissa. And you're like, hey, Marissa, nice to meet you. Anyway, see you later. And she's like, what the hell? I thought he thought I was cute. I wanted to talk more to him. You say, have you ever had a guy approach you so directly? She's usually going to say, yeah, a couple of times. And then you say, how did that go for them? Did you get mad and kick him in the face? Because if I'm in danger here, you should let me know.

23:09 She's going to crack up. Bam. The set is open. Then you ask another question. And this is one of the practices I want you guys to do. Listen up. I know you're getting tired. We're about 23 minutes in. I know you're getting tired, but listen up. What I want you to do is see a girl and just say, what would I say to her? And I know you guys love this because you don't actually have to approach her. I want you to approach her. But if you're not ready yet, just be like, what can I open with?

23:34 What kind of question can I ask? Question, maybe another question and another question to pry open the conversation. She's going to give you something of substance to work with. Then you guys talk about that. And then you start throwing in more of my attraction building techniques, which obviously isn't the point of this episode. I have 600, what is it now? 80 episodes that you could go listen to all that stuff with. Many of which I talk about what to talk about in the first conversation, which is the hardest part for most guys.

24:02 Here's something else I want to say. You guys often think you want an opener to like blow her socks off and get her to jump in the air, do a backflip and slide onto your dick. But here's the thing. When first approaching, she's on her back foot. She's wondering, why is he talking to me? What does he want? Is he going to try to sell me some aluminum sighting? She's wondering what's going on. So you don't need some super magical, charismatic, amazing opener. You could say anything.

24:28 And in fact, boys, what I prefer to do is keep it innocent. Keep it mellow. Focus on my state. Focus on my body language, my behavior. And just ask innocent questions. So you're opening, question, question. She's getting used to you. You're getting information. Then when something hits, you can pry. One of the ways that I pried with that girl at the gas station is I said, how fast have you taken that thing? That's a way to pry open what she said. Yes, this is an AMG V8.

24:56 The thing is fast as fuck. How fast have you taken the thing? Where did you drive it? Did you kill anybody? Did you launch that launch ramp off I-25 and 480? Or did you skip it? There's so many different ways you can take it. Once you ask the questions and pry open the conversation. So to reiterate, boys, in the beginning, open and eject. Even with old people, grandmas, kids, just ask questions. Then once you get used to that, you can start stacking questions on top of it.

25:24 You open, question, question. Once something interesting comes up, you can pry it open. And then once you get really good, direct approach. Hey, I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. What's up? What's your name? She tells you her name. You say, have you ever had a guy approach you so directly before? She says, yeah, a few times you'd be like, well, did you kick him in the face? Am I in danger here? Because if I'm in danger, you should let me know. Ha ha ha, no, I'm not.

25:46 Then you ask another question. So where are you headed to right now? Or something even as innocent as that to pry open the conversation, get it going, throw in the attraction building techniques, and yes, yank a phone number. Boys, you're hearing my information. Perhaps some of you for the first time, continue listening to my podcast. I'd specifically recommend the banter one, as well as why you should talk to girls like they're a peasant. Then if it feels good, apply for my coaching program. You and I will talk.

26:12 And if it makes sense, you're going to get on a call, a one-hour NLP-based breakthrough session with me and my team to see if we can 10X your results with women, which is what we do with every single guy who comes into the program, including the review that I read earlier. This guy was 57 in 14 weeks, which means he wrote me two weeks after he graduated. He got more ass than he had in seven years. In the span of three months, he outdid seven years' content. Never dated multiple girls.

26:40 He's doing that now. Never had super hot girls on his tip. He has that now. He has choice. If you want that same choice, I'm here for you, boys. You know my shit works. You know I'm good at what I do. And hopefully you know that I care about you and I want to help you. It's my purpose here. Let me do that for you, as I've done for so many other men. All right, gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening this far in. As a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode.

27:08 We'll see you in the next one.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.